How far away is too far?

Knottie1433048614 · December 2015

I'm just wondering, mostly because I'm still researching venues, how far away from home is too far away? FI and I live in Rancho Cucamonga, however there are very few venues that fit our vision and our budget. I will admit that I am quite picky, does anyone have any suggestions for venues?

JediElizabeth · December 2015

Our venue is 1-1.5 hours drive from us. Most of our guests come from all over the Eastern seaboard, so there wasn't really a good local location.....and also, we couldn't really afford what we wanted if we stayed in a 20 minute drive of NYC (where we live).

I wouldn't choose a venue further than I'd be willing to drive for a day trip, though. 90 minutes was our max distance.

(Edited for typos)

Knottie1433048614 · December 2015

Thank you! I love your name.. congrats on your wedding!

holyguacamole79 · December 2015

Knottie1433048614 said:
I'm just wondering, mostly because I'm still researching venues, how far away from home is too far away? FI and I live in Rancho Cucamonga, however there are very few venues that fit our vision and our budget. I will admit that I am quite picky, does anyone have any suggestions for venues?

The main criteria should be budget and capacity.

Living in Houston, I'm used to driving. We have a wedding in a few weeks that is 30 miles away (it's downtown and we live in the suburbs). I'm not familiar with Rancho Cucamonga, though. If the majority of your guests are local, then I'd go for location over vision.

Are you having your ceremony & reception in the same place?

Knottie1433048614 · December 2015

Rancho Cucamonga is in Southern California, we are having them in the same location however I am putting budget first, and then space.

MesmrEwe · December 2015

Think of it as a "Destination Wedding at home" Far enough that you'd need to get a hotel but not so far that you or your guests would need airfare and your Great Gravel Gurtie can still drive to attend. The farthest I've ever driven from a ceremony to reception site is a little over an hour, but that's a different discussion for a different day (there were no halls closer than this to fit the capacity of the guests).. I'd say an hour from the center of where your guests live is a good "line" if you're concerned with not wanting your guests to have to get hotels, OTOH, remember they won't stick around as long or consume as much alcohol if they've got a drive...

Be courteous and consider your guests in making your decision. Vision should never trump guest comfort (i.e. outdoor event in the winter in Michigan; outdoor event in Texas in summer; venue with no AC/shade/restrooms accessible by guests with mobility issues/etc.; location that only has one hotel within two hours drive and expect guests to shell out $$$ to stay there...)

ETA: The order is budget, real-world guest list, THEN look for a venue...

holyguacamole79 · December 2015

Knottie1433048614 said:
Rancho Cucamonga is in Southern California, we are having them in the same location however I am putting budget first, and then space.

Right, I know generally where it is. I'm just not familiar with the availability of places and the "vibe" of the city. As I said, in Houston, we are used to driving to different parts of the city. There's a lot available, and if someone wanted me to drive 90 minutes to a venue they liked better because of a vision, I'd be a little annoyed.

My point is, if it comes down to vision vs location, go with the venue with the more convenient location for your guests.

justsuzie · January 2016

Think about who you and your fiance would like at your wedding. Would those guest be able to travel? Can they afford a hotel room?

SP29 · January 2016

I have no idea where you live, but I get that some people live in remote areas where there are not a lot of options. Do your guests live in the same city/town as you, or would they all be travelling anyway? I think that makes a big difference too.

I think you need to consider your guests and their ability to travel.

If you are going to include travel, I think picking somewhere near a major city is wise- somewhere easily reached by a main highway or near an airport, and something with hotels close by.

I also thinking when travelling, that having the ceremony and reception close by (or even better at the same venue) is a must. Guests might be OK driving 90 mins to your wedding, but it would be less than ideal for them to drive 90 mins in one direction to the ceremony, another 45 mins in another direction to the reception, and then 2 hours back home.

Technically any distance is OK- as a guest, I would figure out if I would be required to drive or fly, how much would it cost for travel and hotel, and can I take the time off work if needed. Just as I would consider for any wedding. But do consider your guests and realize if your wedding requires either a long drive vs. a plane flight + hotel, that you may get more declines.

levioosa · January 2016

I am from the area. Where are you thinking of holding the wedding/reception?

lyndausvi · January 2016

Honestly, it really depends. I've flown to Europe for a wedding. I've flown to many different states for weddings. So clearly I do not mind traveling.

That said, if the couple lives near me and so do most of their family/friend do also, I would totally side-eye a location that was more than more than a 45 minute drive. Unless you told me the location was one of your hometowns or something similar.

Does it make sense? Not really, but I work in the hospitality industry. So more than likely I'm going to know there were closer options.

lembaslover · January 2016

I second @JediElizabeth 's recommendation to make it a place close enough you could do a day trip. We were a little less than 2 hours away from our venue and we were glad it wasn't any further since we had to make a few trips down there before the wedding. Some of our vendors let us facetime our meetings and we did some over the phone and e-mail but we appreciated being able to go down and see our vendors ahead of time (especially the food tasting related ones).

Knottie14328818 · January 2016

I think it's completely up to YOU! My family lives in Northern Ca and his family is in Southern Ca so for us it was we either please both sides and go somewhere in the middle that means nothing to us or go somewhere WE love and feel is special to US. We live in La Habra and I feel in love with The Temecula Creek Inn which is about 2 hours from us and 8 hours away from my family, it's the only place we saw our wedding happening. Who cares about distance, the people that need to be there will be there, forgot about the rest and save money by not having to pay for their food!

levioosa · January 2016

Knottie14328818 said:

I think it's completely up to YOU! My family lives in Northern Ca and his family is in Southern Ca so for us it was we either please both sides and go somewhere in the middle that means nothing to us or go somewhere WE love and feel is special to US. We live in La Habra and I feel in love with The Temecula Creek Inn which is about 2 hours from us and 8 hours away from my family, it's the only place we saw our wedding happening. Who cares about distance, the people that need to be there will be there, forgot about the rest and save money by not having to pay for their food!

While you're entitled to have the wedding wherever you want, that's a pretty shitty attitude to have. If people are just expenses to you, perhaps you are better off eloping.

holyguacamole79 · January 2016

Knottie14328818 said:
I think it's completely up to YOU! My family lives in Northern Ca and his family is in Southern Ca so for us it was we either please both sides and go somewhere in the middle that means nothing to us or go somewhere WE love and feel is special to US. We live in La Habra and I feel in love with The Temecula Creek Inn which is about 2 hours from us and 8 hours away from my family, it's the only place we saw our wedding happening. Who cares about distance, the people that need to be there will be there, forgot about the rest and save money by not having to pay for their food!

The minute you invite others to your wedding it ceases to just be about YOU.

arrippa · January 2016

Knottie14328818 said:

I think it's completely up to YOU! My family lives in Northern Ca and his family is in Southern Ca so for us it was we either please both sides and go somewhere in the middle that means nothing to us or go somewhere WE love and feel is special to US. We live in La Habra and I feel in love with The Temecula Creek Inn which is about 2 hours from us and 8 hours away from my family, it's the only place we saw our wedding happening. Who cares about distance, the people that need to be there will be there, forgot about the rest and save money by not having to pay for their food!

Not everyone who wants to be there can make it. I had to skip my bff's wedding in Hawaii because I didn't have a job and I couldn't afford to fly from the east coast to Hawaii. No matter how much I wanted to be there, it just couldn't happen. She was sad but understood and we are still very close friends.

CaitFins · January 2016

Another "food for thought:" I have a lot of venues in the metroplex I settled on, and I'm paying particular attention to WP members and my BMs that have infants/young children, as they'll be traveling additionally for at least the rehearsal, earlier in the day, and putting up with more overall than the other guests. I would assume the WP makes up some of your greatest VIPs also!

Viczaesar · January 2016

Knottie14328818 said:

I think it's completely up to YOU! My family lives in Northern Ca and his family is in Southern Ca so for us it was we either please both sides and go somewhere in the middle that means nothing to us or go somewhere WE love and feel is special to US. We live in La Habra and I feel in love with The Temecula Creek Inn which is about 2 hours from us and 8 hours away from my family, it's the only place we saw our wedding happening. Who cares about distance, the people that need to be there will be there, forgot about the rest and save money by not having to pay for their food!

This is an incredibly shitty way to think about your friends and family. I hope you make it abundantly clear how little you care about or think of them so they can make their attendance decision accordingly.

SP29 · January 2016

We planned our wedding from 2 provinces away (a 4 hour plane ride), with two local visits, as we were home to visit family anyway.

The first home visit, I toured 3 venues with my mom, picked one and put down the first deposit.

Second visit 6-7 months later, we set up meetings with 3 DJ's, 3 Photogs, 3 bakeries, 3 florists, then made a decision, signed contracts and put down deposits in a 2.5 week period.

Next visit was for the wedding- we came a week before and were able to tie up last minute details then.

All other communication with our vendors was done via e-mail, phone, or Skype. Lots of scanning and online document sharing, but it worked out fine. Previous to initial meetings I did the leg work by looking up places online and making phone calls.

It did help we were getting married where our family lived (and that is why- got married in our hometown, where we had since moved away from), so those 2 trips were planned anyway, but planning a long distance wedding can be done.

How far away is too far?

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