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"Entertainment Potluck" bachelorette party...

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Re: "Entertainment Potluck" bachelorette party...

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    nerdwifenerdwife member
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    CMGragain said:
    I was a professional entertainer.  When I go on cruises, I keep a low profile.  I do not volunteer to perform.
    At home I am occasionally asked to perform at a party or a club meeting.  I do not like it.  It is stressful, especially now that I am retired. Would you ask a Doctor to do a free physical at a party?  How about free law advice from an attorney at a party?  No?  Then don't ask me to perform!!!!!!
    Actually, people frequently ask doctors and lawyers for free advice at parties. I imagine that being asked to perform is as annoying. And it is superrrrrrr awkward.
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    JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
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    edited January 2016
    nerdwife said:


    CMGragain said:

    I was a professional entertainer.  When I go on cruises, I keep a low profile.  I do not volunteer to perform.
    At home I am occasionally asked to perform at a party or a club meeting.  I do not like it.  It is stressful, especially now that I am retired. Would you ask a Doctor to do a free physical at a party?  How about free law advice from an attorney at a party?  No?  Then don't ask me to perform!!!!!!

    Actually, people frequently ask doctors and lawyers for free advice at parties. I imagine that being asked to perform is as annoying. And it is superrrrrrr awkward.

    My FI has learned not to tell anyone new that he's a mental health counselor at partieus, because people will tell him ALL of their issues otherwise. Drunkenly. And in EXTREME detail.
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    nerdwifenerdwife member
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    JediElizabeth said:
    CMGragain said:
    I was a professional entertainer.  When I go on cruises, I keep a low profile.  I do not volunteer to perform.
    At home I am occasionally asked to perform at a party or a club meeting.  I do not like it.  It is stressful, especially now that I am retired. Would you ask a Doctor to do a free physical at a party?  How about free law advice from an attorney at a party?  No?  Then don't ask me to perform!!!!!!
    Actually, people frequently ask doctors and lawyers for free advice at parties. I imagine that being asked to perform is as annoying. And it is superrrrrrr awkward.
    My FI has learned not to tell anyone new that he's a mental health counselor at partieus, because people will tell him ALL of their issues otherwise. Drunkenly. And in EXTREME detail.
    Hahah that's awesome. FI usually says "intern" or "resident" and hope people either don't know what that means or think he doesn't know enough to answer his question. Or he can just say he hasn't learned that yet. I'm an attorney but I work in legal publishing, so I always say I'm an editor. Hell no am I getting sucked into that.
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    classyduckclassyduck member
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    So, her response to my comments and the comments of the invited friend she had offended, was to simply "uninvite" the SOs from the second half of the evening, lol. I give up.

    I checked and there are only five rooms left for the weekend she planned THIS May (though it isn't until next May, but too far in advance to check--either that or the rooms are already totally booked up), so she's going to have to reserve a block of rooms if she wants there to be enough space, and I doubt she will have the funds to do that. Not to mention we will have to get a suite for space to do this as all the other event spaces are for large groups. This is going to be a clusterfuck.
    Viczaesar said:
    No, actually there are plenty of occasions where a potluck would be rude.  Any event that should be hosted is inappropriate for a potluck, whether or not the intention to have a potluck is made clear from the beginning.
    Oh absolutely agreed. But since this is not a shower, and no gifts are expected, I suppose a potluck, while not ideal, would still be a viable option. My friends have a culture of potlucks btw -- we do them often and have a great time. But i do realize that it's not everyone's thing, hence the importance of advertising it as a potluck from the get-go.
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    flantasticflantastic member
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    classyduck said:
    So, her response to my comments and the comments of the invited friend she had offended, was to simply "uninvite" the SOs from the second half of the evening, lol. I give up.

    I checked and there are only five rooms left for the weekend she planned THIS May (though it isn't until next May, but too far in advance to check--either that or the rooms are already totally booked up), so she's going to have to reserve a block of rooms if she wants there to be enough space, and I doubt she will have the funds to do that. Not to mention we will have to get a suite for space to do this as all the other event spaces are for large groups. This is going to be a clusterfuck.
    Viczaesar said:
    No, actually there are plenty of occasions where a potluck would be rude.  Any event that should be hosted is inappropriate for a potluck, whether or not the intention to have a potluck is made clear from the beginning.
    Oh absolutely agreed. But since this is not a shower, and no gifts are expected, I suppose a potluck, while not ideal, would still be a viable option. My friends have a culture of potlucks btw -- we do them often and have a great time. But i do realize that it's not everyone's thing, hence the importance of advertising it as a potluck from the get-go.
    Only if it is a true group thing - i.e. everyone is basically co-hosting. And in that case, they would also get to co-plan the agenda. If MOH claims to be hosting and inviting (or uninviting) a potluck is out.
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    flantastic said:
    classyduck said:
    So, her response to my comments and the comments of the invited friend she had offended, was to simply "uninvite" the SOs from the second half of the evening, lol. I give up.

    I checked and there are only five rooms left for the weekend she planned THIS May (though it isn't until next May, but too far in advance to check--either that or the rooms are already totally booked up), so she's going to have to reserve a block of rooms if she wants there to be enough space, and I doubt she will have the funds to do that. Not to mention we will have to get a suite for space to do this as all the other event spaces are for large groups. This is going to be a clusterfuck.
    Viczaesar said:
    No, actually there are plenty of occasions where a potluck would be rude.  Any event that should be hosted is inappropriate for a potluck, whether or not the intention to have a potluck is made clear from the beginning.
    Oh absolutely agreed. But since this is not a shower, and no gifts are expected, I suppose a potluck, while not ideal, would still be a viable option. My friends have a culture of potlucks btw -- we do them often and have a great time. But i do realize that it's not everyone's thing, hence the importance of advertising it as a potluck from the get-go.
    Only if it is a true group thing - i.e. everyone is basically co-hosting. And in that case, they would also get to co-plan the agenda. If MOH claims to be hosting and inviting (or uninviting) a potluck is out.
    This.  And potlucks actually are my thing - I frequently bring food to events (where it's welcome, like seminars) just because.  I'm known for it.  But only when it's appropriate.



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    classyduckclassyduck member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited January 2016
    Oh absolutely agreed. But since this is not a shower, and no gifts are expected, I suppose a potluck, while not ideal, would still be a viable option. My friends have a culture of potlucks btw -- we do them often and have a great time. But i do realize that it's not everyone's thing, hence the importance of advertising it as a potluck from the get-go.
    Only if it is a true group thing - i.e. everyone is basically co-hosting. And in that case, they would also get to co-plan the agenda. If MOH claims to be hosting and inviting (or uninviting) a potluck is out.
    What you are talking about is a cooperative party, in which there is usually a dedicated organizer instead of a host... which, while similar, is not *exactly* the same as a potluck. A polite potluck can still have a host, whom usually donates their home as a venue, time to organize, and also often coordinates a menu (asks for certain dishes to be brought, or maybe just a type of dish) and an agenda. In this case, it is still their party, and they are allowed to call themselves a host within acceptable rules of etiquette. They do still have the right to define other terms of the party, such as the agenda. Just because a host/ess has chosen a potluck format does not mean s/he must surrender the rest of the party plan to whims of the guests (by allowing them to co-host). And, according to Miss Manners, this is not rude--as long as the potluck nature of the party is made very clear in the invitation, giving invited guests the opportunity to decline if the terms of the gathering are not to their liking.

    I saw a fantastic article a while ago that discussed all this, but I can't find it now. :(

    Anyway, the party I've been discussing in this post isn't really a potluck, I was just using that as an analogy. I think a "theme party" would be a better description, even if the premise of the theme results in rude expectations of the guests. banana468 said:
    Is this going to work if you do it in hotels? I can see doing performances in a hotel room being a great way to get complaints from the neighbors.
    OMG I had to laugh at this -- I had actually already mentioned this in the facebook planning group she has created --"I hope the sound proofing is good at the hotel so we don't get complaints from neighbors! I imagine we will be a raucous bunch. :)"
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    banana468 said:
    Is this going to work if you do it in hotels? I can see doing performances in a hotel room being a great way to get complaints from the neighbors.
    I was trained in classical opera, and I was a Wagnerian soprano!  My voice cracked years ago, and I don't like to sing in public anymore, for good reason.  But I AM LOUD!!!!!!!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    banana468banana468 member
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    I remember being in the suite of my friend's parents' hotel room and we were yelled at for just talking after her wedding.
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    banana468banana468 member
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    short+sassy said:
    A few PPs touched on this, but something else I don't think she is keeping in mind is how insanely boring this will get after just a few acts.  1-3 acts/skits with willing participants who will have fun with it...super fun and cute.  More than that...especially with begrudging participants...and I start making plans to rewrite Dante's Inferno with new circles of hell. 
    Good point.   And if I'm not in the clique, you know what's going to happen: the people who aren't into the stuff are just going to turn and start to talk and whisper to their friends and start new conversation.

    And if the desire is to keep people in a hotel room all night with nothing but skits, eventually something needs to change.   Even a set of games could go well but this honestly sounds like a night that's going to fall flat. 
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