This is a pretty specific question, but I'm new to the UK and not fully up-to-date on interpreting the rules around having a civil ceremony. My FH and I can't have a Jewish ceremony as he's not Jewish, and I know we can't have any religious elements in the ceremony (with music, readings, etc).
But my father's big "thing" that he's sticking on is smashing the glass at the end of the ceremony. I know he's going to be really disappointed if we can't include that, so I'm wondering if anyone knows whether or not it can be done? Especially considering it would technically be after the civil ceremony is over... but while we're standing in front of the registrar.
I did find mention in a newspaper article (well, it was the Daily Mail) about Ed Milliband breaking the glass at the end of his civil ceremony, but wasn't sure if that's a special "I'm a politician" thing, or if it's something anyone could do.
Re: Any Jewish UK brides having a civil ceremony?
I think the glass smashing is both religious and cultural, and it is something I know I'd be really upset to not have - and something my "side" of the guest list would be some combination of surprised, disappointed, or even hurt if I didn't include it - myself included.
I also think it will manage your expectations. You don't want to walk down the aisle to be married just after hearing news that will 'surprise', 'disappoint' or 'hurt' you and your family.
Maybe if you are getting married in a venue they are more relaxed as it isn't government run? Either way, call whomever you dealt with to book your wedding as I'm sure they'd at least be able to point you in the right direction.
You definitely can have a religious service, but you can't bring religion into a civil ceremony before the registrar.
We're getting married in a venue, not the registrar office - maybe that will make a difference!
The glass breaking is a tricky one - it is a cultural activity, not a religious one, but because it's part of the Jewish culture many people conflate it with Jewish religion, if that makes sense? The meaning can be anything from remembering the destruction of the Temple, to a reminder that everything is fragile and you have to treat your relationship with care.
glass breaking is a tricky one - it is a cultural activity, not a religious one, but because it's part of the Jewish culture many people conflate it with Jewish religion, if that makes sense? The meaning can be anything from remembering the destruction of the Temple, to a reminder that everything is fragile and you have to treat your relationship with care.
With regard to the bolded: Jewish "religion" and "culture" can be deeply intertwined. Many rituals, in Jewish weddings and elsewhere, have elements of both. And in several instances, things that were "cultural" became "religious" when rabbis, sages, and other respected figures in Judaism issued opinions and rulings on them. How binding they became has always been situational: what the nature of the opinion was, who gave it, their credentials, and the setting in which it was given. And of course, there's plenty of disagreement between Jewish religious figures to go around.
Regardless of what any individual feels about it, or whether or not they would be "offended" by its inclusion or exclusion, I think that if a registrar feels that smashing a glass is either too "religiously" or "culturally" Jewish for a registry office ceremony, I would not try to persuade him or her otherwise and would just accept that it is not allowed during the ceremony. And, OP, that means reminding your family that your FI is not Jewish and for that reason they will have to accept that no matter how important that ritual is to them, it isn't going to happen at the ceremony.
By choosing a registry office ceremony, you are choosing to be married according to their rules-even if that means there won't be any ritual glass smashing.
If you can't do it at the ceremony, as I mentioned above, you can still do it privately or possibly at your reception.
The whole point of her question was to try and figure out if anyone else had done this before and if the registrar was likely to say no or yes. She clearly understands she needs to follow the registrars' rules.
I would just ask him or her, "We would like to smash a glass in accordance with Jewish tradition at the end of the ceremony because it's a sticking point for my father and other family members who will be attending. Can we do that at the ceremony?"