• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Wedding Party

Stepsister Woes

2»

Re: Stepsister Woes

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2016
    @OliveOilsMom The boxes are for when I ask, not the wedding itself. It's a thank you for what they will be doing and the jewelry will be a thank you for their service during and afterwards. Another poster said that me purchasing jewelry for them is not so much a gift for them if I require it. To be fair, since I've not divulged the cost of the jewelry to be given (nor will I), having something purchased for you to wear and then you getting to keep it absolutely makes it a gift. I don't expect a shower or party @OliveOilsMom. All I ask aside from purchase of dress, shoes (because being uniform is not irrational) and hair/makeup if they choose. I'd be totally appreciative of anything they do further and will do my absolute best to show it in some way. The groom and I are paying for the entirety of the wedding and the reception, so unfortunately, any additional gifts are not possible at this time. This will have to be the last question I entertain concerning BM gifts as it's unrelated to my initial post.
    Okay, in one sense it's a gift. It is a thing that they now own, which they didn't before, which came from you.

    But it's a shitty gift. It's really a gift to you, because you're the one who wants to see your BMs in the jewelry in your pictures, and it doesn't have anything to do with their personal style of jewelry (that last is an assumption. If you are getting different jewelry for each girl which you are also sure they would buy for themselves, then fine).
  • @OliveOilsMom The boxes are for when I ask, not the wedding itself. It's a thank you for what they will be doing and the jewelry will be a thank you for their service during and afterwards. Another poster said that me purchasing jewelry for them is not so much a gift for them if I require it. To be fair, since I've not divulged the cost of the jewelry to be given (nor will I), having something purchased for you to wear and then you getting to keep it absolutely makes it a gift. I don't expect a shower or party @OliveOilsMom. All I ask aside from purchase of dress, shoes (because being uniform is not irrational) and hair/makeup if they choose. I'd be totally appreciative of anything they do further and will do my absolute best to show it in some way. The groom and I are paying for the entirety of the wedding and the reception, so unfortunately, any additional gifts are not possible at this time. This will have to be the last question I entertain concerning BM gifts as it's unrelated to my initial post.
    Dear God, really?! They are not freaking servants! Or employees or maids or anything like that. They owe you no service. Being in the WP is an honor. Their responsibility begins and ends with dress+pictures+ceremony.

    Also, those gifts? Please, please strongly consider returning what you have bought and skipping the rest in favor of individual gifts that are chosen to suit the recipient. Because here's my reactions and I'm betting they would be thinking along similar lines:

     bottle of champagne (yay, I like wine), 2 essie nail polishes (okay... I have like a zillion nail polishes and probably don't need more), Godiva (eh, not my favorite brand and chocolate isn't my go-to treat so meh), a makeup bag (useless to me, I prefer the one I have), a journal (I will never use this), lip gloss (depends; is it a brand/flavor I like?), a candle (wow, generic much? I have candles I don't even use) and their jewelry  (almost certainly not to my taste and 'required' for the wedding so not a gift)
    Despite trying to opt out of the gift conversation, this needs to be addressed.

    You take the word "service" too literally, my friend.

    And as you may or may not have noticed, the gifts you listed (aside from the jewelry) are for BM proposal boxes, not THE bridesmaid gift.  Visit Pinterest.  NO BM proposal boxes there are anything more than a few trinkets as an initial thanks.  You have not ONE kind thing to say about what I've chosen to buy with my hard-earned money?  I think you're trying to be cruel.  No person can really be this ungrateful and I smell a troll.  If what I have chosen for my ladies is not good enough for your liking, then you're in luck... 


    Should the jewelry not be their style, they are free to do with it what they will.  I highly doubt that if a friend or family member of yours gave these to you and it was the best she could do, that you'd be so quick to criticize her offering.  Should this happen to you, then I personally challenge you to give it back to her so she can save her money.
  • @flantastic ;

    Unfortunatly, "doing better" is nobody's call but the one doing the spending.  I'm already covering the whole wedding and reception.  If jewelry isn't good enough then I'm sorry, but I'm in no competition with other brides to out-gift my ladies.  Without knowing how much money I make, how much I'm investing in the wedding and how much I'm investing in my BM gifts, your opinion is appreciated, but your point moot.
  • @flantastic ;

    You gleaned that on your own, far be it for me to continue arguing with you about it.
  • This has gone completely off topic.  It seems all valuable advice for what to do concerning my sister has come to an end, yes?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Another one bites the dust.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    OliveOilsMomnerdwifeInLoveInQueens[Deleted User]
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I wish she would have stuck around so I could have told her about the 10 sets of jewelry I don't wear and ended up giving away later that I initially received each of the 10 times I was a BM. . .
    Me too.  I also have a nickel allergy, so most of my precious gifts that I've been gifted leave me with swollen ear lobes by the time the reception starts, one of many reasons I prefer to wear my own.  

    I leave the board for a few hours and another crazy one bites the dust.  
    charlotte989875[Deleted User]cowgirl8238
  • @OliveOilsMom The boxes are for when I ask, not the wedding itself. It's a thank you for what they will be doing and the jewelry will be a thank you for their service during and afterwards. Another poster said that me purchasing jewelry for them is not so much a gift for them if I require it. To be fair, since I've not divulged the cost of the jewelry to be given (nor will I), having something purchased for you to wear and then you getting to keep it absolutely makes it a gift. I don't expect a shower or party @OliveOilsMom. All I ask aside from purchase of dress, shoes (because being uniform is not irrational) and hair/makeup if they choose. I'd be totally appreciative of anything they do further and will do my absolute best to show it in some way. The groom and I are paying for the entirety of the wedding and the reception, so unfortunately, any additional gifts are not possible at this time. This will have to be the last question I entertain concerning BM gifts as it's unrelated to my initial post.
    Dear God, really?! They are not freaking servants! Or employees or maids or anything like that. They owe you no service. Being in the WP is an honor. Their responsibility begins and ends with dress+pictures+ceremony.

    Also, those gifts? Please, please strongly consider returning what you have bought and skipping the rest in favor of individual gifts that are chosen to suit the recipient. Because here's my reactions and I'm betting they would be thinking along similar lines:

     bottle of champagne (yay, I like wine), 2 essie nail polishes (okay... I have like a zillion nail polishes and probably don't need more), Godiva (eh, not my favorite brand and chocolate isn't my go-to treat so meh), a makeup bag (useless to me, I prefer the one I have), a journal (I will never use this), lip gloss (depends; is it a brand/flavor I like?), a candle (wow, generic much? I have candles I don't even use) and their jewelry  (almost certainly not to my taste and 'required' for the wedding so not a gift)
    Despite trying to opt out of the gift conversation, this needs to be addressed.

    You take the word "service" too literally, my friend.

    And as you may or may not have noticed, the gifts you listed (aside from the jewelry) are for BM proposal boxes, not THE bridesmaid gift.  Visit Pinterest.  NO BM proposal boxes there are anything more than a few trinkets as an initial thanks.  You have not ONE kind thing to say about what I've chosen to buy with my hard-earned money?  I think you're trying to be cruel.  No person can really be this ungrateful and I smell a troll.  If what I have chosen for my ladies is not good enough for your liking, then you're in luck... 


    Should the jewelry not be their style, they are free to do with it what they will.  I highly doubt that if a friend or family member of yours gave these to you and it was the best she could do, that you'd be so quick to criticize her offering.  Should this happen to you, then I personally challenge you to give it back to her so she can save her money.
    Sure, those are BM proposal boxes (and I will leave my thoughts on just how silly I find such a thing out of this). They were also your excuse for why you adamantly refuse to give one thoughtful gift to each bridesmaid. I'm not even suggesting you have to spend a lot on them. H and I gave books to our wedding party. A fantasy novel by one friend's favorite author. A knitting pattern book for my cousin who loves to knit. Simple. Inexpensive. And something chosen individually so that each person could get true enjoyment out of it. Frankly, gifts are one of my love languages, so I like to give things I know will be appreciated. That you will not even make the effort speaks volumes.
    image
    PrettyGirlLostOliveOilsMomSTARMOON44
  • Hmm, too late for the delete. Ah well.
    image
  • I don't wear any type of jewelry, since most jewelry irritates my skin. Rings and necklaces give me a rash and earrings cause my ears to swell up, painfully swell up. That would be a very thoughtless and sadistic gift to give me.

  • drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2016
    AddieCake said:

    I love when we get to remember the pewter cake plate! Best gift ever.

    Ummm...



    Eta, so stoked I got to use a Father Ted gif

    glasgowtolondon
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I love when we get to remember the pewter cake plate! Best gift ever.
    Ummm... Eta, so stoked I got to use a Father Ted gif

    I can give a condensed version of the story and I hope I don't mess anything up.

    But Flan and her H were trying to limit their guest list and were not including MILs friends.  It is traditional for MIL and her friends to go in together and get a pewter cake plate for a wedding gift for their kids, as they marry.  MIL was upset that cake plate was purchased already, even though the friends weren't being invited.  In the end, MIL's friends were still not invited to the wedding, but Flan and her H got an engraved pewter cake plate.  That is why her avatar pic is a metal cake plate.  There were many a hilarious thread about the pewter cake plate.

    [Deleted User]HeffalumpAddieCake
  • geebee908geebee908 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    edited January 2016
    An obscenely expensive pewter cake plate engraved with the name of MIL's friends' group. Who can forget that?
  • Isn't pewter poisonous to have food on? I think I've heard that before. 
  • Isn't pewter poisonous to have food on? I think I've heard that before. 
    Older pewter, definitely.  They used to use lead, though they don't anymore (at least not for food contact).
    JediElizabeth
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards