I am in desperate need of advice. My fiancé and I live in Seattle but are getting married in Southern California (where he grew up and the majority of his family is located). It has caused a huge riff and source of tension between my fiancé and MY MOTHER. My mom would much rather we get married in Washington and is not thrilled that everything is much more expensive down in California. Regardless, my mom is very happy about us getting married. We have all decided to chip in 15k a piece (my mom, dad, and my fiancé and me) for wedding expenses. My fiancé thinks the travel costs we incur (flight, hotel, meals) to travel to California prior to the wedding to attend our food tasting and other appointments should be tallied into our wedding expense. He also thinks the cost of my wedding band should be part of our 15k contribution. My mom is absolutely irate about this- she has proclaimed loud and clear that the travel costs should not count into the expenses since it was his decision to get married in California and we wouldn't have to account for this if we got married in Washington. Additionally, she thinks the cost of the wedding band is something that shouldn't factor into our wedding cost since that is generally his and my responsibility on our own accord. My mom feels he is nickel and dining everything he can to reach our 15k contribution. (Mind you, my mom and I flew down to California in December to look at venues and she didn't use those costs as wedding expenses.)
This argument boiled over today when all three of us got together and my mom basically said she is "done" and refuses to speak to my fiancé anymore and was calling him a bully.
I need some advice! Who should be paying for what? I don't want to be caught in the middle anymore.