Chit Chat

Weddings: Stuff you do remember?

There's a post on the budget board regarding stuff you don't remember from weddings (décor, centerpieces, flowers etc etc) you have attended.  What are some of the stuff you DO remember from weddings you've been to??? (not your own)

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Re: Weddings: Stuff you do remember?

  • GAPS. good / bad food. enough chairs. sitting with my SO. obnoxiously long speeches. cash vs open bar. where we were sitting - ie, some tables were in other rooms vs in the "main room" b/c of the layout of the venue - definitely made it feel like those tables were second class / an after-thought and we couldn't hear the toasts, see the b/g walk in. 
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  • edited March 2016
    I remember whether or not the food was good. I have been to one wedding that had a cash bar, and I DEFINITELY remember that.

    I remember who had toasts that lasted too long, and who had too many "special" dances.

    I remember going to a wedding that didn't have enough seating for everyone. People opened up a closet and started pulling out chairs out in the middle of the ceremony.

    ETA I also remember that one of my friends left all of the guests waiting for an hour and 45 minutes for the reception to start so she, her H, and the wedding party could get pictures at sunset.

  • Food and drinks. Seating. Time of day (like if it is 3pm in August in NC and outside, that's a now).

  • I'm leaning towards good fun stuff :)   I may go to boring weddings then (or actually not very many), because the good stuff I do remember is:

    - conga line type dance weaving through the tables.  It was fun to watch even though I didn't join.  Shoulda joined.

    - "family style" meal service (which was good food), but much preferred over a buffet actually

    - photo booth.  My friend got married in 2011.  The only thing I remember about the reception is how much fun the photo booth was, so I'm thinking of putting $ towards one at mine.



  • labrolabro member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    The food. I remember the flowers and decor when it's really done nicely. I remember if it was open seating and poorly done. I remember if the DJ/band was good or not. The ceremony every time. Toasts that lasted absurdly long but also long toasts that were hysterical and perfect. It really depends on who is giving it. If it was a cash bar or if the bar closed early.



  • I remember whether or not the food was good. I have been to one wedding that had a cash bar, and I DEFINITELY remember that.

    I remember who had toasts that lasted too long, and who had too many "special" dances.

    I remember going to a wedding that didn't have enough seating for everyone. People opened up a closet and started pulling out chairs out in the middle of the ceremony.

    ETA I also remember that one of my friends left all of the guests waiting for an hour and 45 minutes for the reception to start so she, her H, and the wedding party could get pictures at sunset.


    Yeah, I do remember my one friend's wedding who had free beer but cash bar for any hard liquor.  I never carry cash on me and I hate beer. :(  Most beers, anyway.

    I don't ever remember speeches, flowers, cakes, bridal party colors.  I DO remember extra long ceremony services though.   Oh but also, my memory is the worst.


  • Food (nasty/amazing).  Dollar dances.  Cash bar or partial cash bar.  Whether or not the wedding was boring as hell or super fun.  Horrible dance music.

  • Usually two main things. One- FOOD! Two- if the DJ or band was good as that directly relates to how much fun I have. 
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  • I keep trying to think of good things I remember and I'm coming up blank. Not that I've never seen good things at a wedding but I think I tend to remember the bad and not the good.

    I remember I really liked the mashed potatoes at a friend's wedding, but then again I was pretty drunk by meal time (there was a gap between ceremony and reception bc the venues were like 45 min apart; I was in the wedding party and they piled too many of us into a small limo and fed us lots of alcohol on the journey over). I think the rets of the food was blech, but I'm not a fan of traditional catered food anyway.

    Also remember having fun dancing at another wedding, I think it was more of the people than the DJ being amazing though. And that wedding was marred by it being 90 degrees, outside in the full sun with no shade or cover to the point I was sweating like crazy and used a golf towel (it was next to the golf pro shop thing) to try to create a barrier between my skin and dress bc I was sweating through my outfit.


  • -Cash bar, even though I was pregnant at the time
    -Food running out
    -Having fun dancing (I LOVE dancing and will dance to almost anything)
    -Talking with friends/family at dinner
    -Really good or really bad food
    -Bride's dress

    -and from one wedding I worked as a temp with a caterer:  The venue and bartender had a no outside alcohol policy.  Groom and groomsmen were drunk an hour before the wedding on liquor the coordinator found hidden in the cornfield next to the venue.  Then, the bride was searching for 20 minutes for the groom to do their special choreographed end of the night dance.  We knew where he was though:  Yelling and arguing at us to keep the bar open an hour past the end of the reception, even though the bartender controlled that.  Can't tell you a single thing about the food I served or the decorations I cleaned up.
  • I remember if the venue size is inappropriate.  IE too small or too big.  A friend's wedding was in a hotel ballroom but they only needed enough tables for about half of it. Their solution was to space the tables realllyyyyy far apart from each other, and far away from the dance floor, so it just didn't feel intimate or nice at all.  In reality they should have just used half the room or something.

    The other was my cousin's wedding... I found out later, the outdoor venue max was 200, she invited 280, and 220 came.  It was very very cramped and they had to move the dance floor to a different area so we never even saw it.  

    I also remember the stuff like switching a bar from hosted to cash after the cocktail hour, or if I have to wait in a long line for food.  

    On the positive side, I remember if the venue is very picturesque/pretty, and if they have good hosted alcohol.  At my cousin's wedding, I also remember that her centerpieces and flowers were all very pretty, but that wasn't surprising as my aunt is a pro florist, she also did my wedding too :)
    Married 9.12.15
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  • Besides the obvious stop that we repeat in every thread since the beginning of time:

    Weirdly I remember who I am seated with. At a family wedding H and I were randomly seated some random friends of the bride and groom who gave off bad energy, if you know what I mean. We were in an entirely separate room from everything else, too! Which is another thing I will remember. At another family wedding, I was seated next to family members who I really don't like and they made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Luckily the family I am close to was at the next table this time.

    I'll also remember if you didn't even bother to say hi to me. At my wedding we did a receiving line AND we visited all the tables (separately) because I hate when the bride or groom don't even acknowledge most of their guests. The same wedding where I was seated with family I didn't like, the b and g didn't talk to a lot of people, I had to go up and say hello.  Another wedding I went to, in which I had to sit in the blazing, disgusting humid heat for about 2 hours, b wouldn't talk to people who were not her friends. She acted like an asshole to the g's friends. No surprise they divorced not even a few months later.

    I'm likely to remember the brides dress and a general idea of how the bridesmaids dresses looked. Even if the bride's dress isn't my taste, I still always love it anyway because I think it's such an awesome moment to pick your wedding dress


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  • I remember the bad, bad food, not enough chairs for everyone during the ceremony, not receiving a thank you for my gift, cash bar, that kind of thing.

    I also remember the really amazingly good, awesome food, beautiful venue, good DJ/MC, the like.

    The bad stand out a lot more than the good, especially the no thank you thing. I'm still bitter about it 3 years later and I don't think that feeling will ever go away. They were super rude from the start (inviting my husband, boyfriend at the time, on an invitation with his two cousins at an address he no longer lived at since we moved in together months before, only inviting me through my husband's mom after hearing that we lived together but not inviting his cousins girlfriend since they didn't live together yet, not starting the ceremony on time, terrible food)
  • hellohkb said:

    I'll also remember if you didn't even bother to say hi to me. At my wedding we did a receiving line AND we visited all the tables (separately) because I hate when the bride or groom don't even acknowledge most of their guests. The same wedding where I was seated with family I didn't like, the b and g didn't talk to a lot of people, I had to go up and say hello.  Another wedding I went to, in which I had to sit in the blazing, disgusting humid heat for about 2 hours, b wouldn't talk to people who were not her friends. She acted like an asshole to the g's friends. No surprise they divorced not even a few months later.

    That is one of my biggest issues too. For a friends wedding a couple years ago it was small (maybe 75 people) but they did no receiving line and no table visits so we basically had to stalk the bride outside on the big patio that also served as the dance floor because hello we wanted to talk to our friend who lives across the country and for whom we all traveled for the somewhat destination wedding (it was groom's hometown/beachtown but a big drive for everyone but his local family). That is what guided me the most for our wedding last year, ensuring it was not only small enough to get to talk to everyone but that we had it set up so we could and DID talk to everyone, usually multiple times (receiving line + reception)
  • teddygirl9teddygirl9 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited March 2016
    Gaps and no table visits. I'm not that picky about other stuff. But at my bfs brothers wedding, my parents and I were kind of pissed that the B&G didn't even make it to our table. I was also pretty unhappy that there was a ~4-5h gap, and THEN on top of the gap they were late coming to the reception. So that was delayed another hour or so. Luckily it was local so I just went home in between.
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  • peachy13peachy13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2016
    I remember whether or not the food was good. I have been to one wedding that had a cash bar, and I DEFINITELY remember that.

    I remember who had toasts that lasted too long, and who had too many "special" dances.

    I remember going to a wedding that didn't have enough seating for everyone. People opened up a closet and started pulling out chairs out in the middle of the ceremony.

    ETA I also remember that one of my friends left all of the guests waiting for an hour and 45 minutes for the reception to start so she, her H, and the wedding party could get pictures at sunset.


    Yeah, I do remember my one friend's wedding who had free beer but cash bar for any hard liquor.  I never carry cash on me and I hate beer. :(  Most beers, anyway.

    I don't ever remember speeches, flowers, cakes, bridal party colors.  I DO remember extra long ceremony services though.   Oh but also, my memory is the worst.


    A recent wedding I went to had beer bottles passed around on a tray by a server during cocktail hour. I had never seen that before and was pretty amused, but I really felt like a glass of white wine so I went to the bar. This is still during cocktail hour... the bartender let me know that wine and hard alcohol weren't hosted and beer was only free during cocktail hour. 

    A different wedding had a cash bar for the entire reception including cocktail hour, which was another first. 

    And for my final memory, my first ever wedding I attended had a dollar dance which even at the age of 13 I thought was tacky


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  • Oh! It doesn't take place during the actual wedding but I will always remember the timing on thank you cards for engagement parties, showers, and weddings. I'm a stickler and if a month passes and there's no thank you, I snark to H. However I'm very forgiving if the card is received sometime after the month mark and it's thoughtful. 
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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2016
    Good/bad food.

    Good music, whether band or DJ (and good DJ personalities).

    Belly dancers.

    Unusual ceremonies (like the Jewish/Indian one my friends had, or the unexpectedly 3 hour Coptic Christian one another friend had).

    If things were too cold or hot.

    Stuff I'm not used to - like my best friend's wedding in Nebraska that was cold cut platters, no alcohol, & no dancing, then we went to a bar afterwards to go dancing and drink.  Also the armed guards at all the windows & doors of the church during that ceremony because the bride's incarcerated brother was furloughed for it, and they were there to keep him in with all of us.

    The bride's dress & makeup if it was exceptionally good or bad.

    Really touching ceremonies.

    *Note:  I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar, dollar dance, or too few seats, but I'm sure I'd remember if I had.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • oh, another thing I'll remember is if there's no chicken option.  Like both  my brother's wedding and sister's.  My sister had 40 people, did a "know your crowd" type of thing but made it "know your crowd - screw your sister" type of thing because it was a filet and I'm not a steak eater.

    My brother and SIL took the advice of the coordinator who said fish, steak and vegetarian option (veggie lasagna) would be good for them.  I don't like fish OR steak/beef and I was low carbing back then pretty hard.  I wasn't going to break my LC diet even though I guess I should have because I was starving after both those weddings. 


  • A good DJ, dancing, the food, and most of all the cake.. those are the things I seem to always remember. To be honest, if the dancing and party was fun enough I don't remember the dinner but I do always remember the cake!

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  • kvruns said:
    hellohkb said:

    I'll also remember if you didn't even bother to say hi to me. At my wedding we did a receiving line AND we visited all the tables (separately) because I hate when the bride or groom don't even acknowledge most of their guests. The same wedding where I was seated with family I didn't like, the b and g didn't talk to a lot of people, I had to go up and say hello.  Another wedding I went to, in which I had to sit in the blazing, disgusting humid heat for about 2 hours, b wouldn't talk to people who were not her friends. She acted like an asshole to the g's friends. No surprise they divorced not even a few months later.

    That is one of my biggest issues too. For a friends wedding a couple years ago it was small (maybe 75 people) but they did no receiving line and no table visits so we basically had to stalk the bride outside on the big patio that also served as the dance floor because hello we wanted to talk to our friend who lives across the country and for whom we all traveled for the somewhat destination wedding (it was groom's hometown/beachtown but a big drive for everyone but his local family). That is what guided me the most for our wedding last year, ensuring it was not only small enough to get to talk to everyone but that we had it set up so we could and DID talk to everyone, usually multiple times (receiving line + reception)
    Yes. This. I went to a wedding where I assume they did a receiving line at the church but I don't know bc I missed the ceremony bc I had car issues and there was a five hour gap so I was already irritated at having to drive 1hr with nowhere to go for 5hrs between the ceremony and reception so when my car gave me issues I said oh well.... But when the bride and groom arrived at the cocktail hour (late) and then never did table visits and I NEVER ended up speaking to the groom the whole night- left a VERY bad taste in my mouth. Same couple didn't send thank you notes for 6+ months bc they "had" to have their professional pics on them and when I inquired about a gift I sent two weeks BEFORE the wedding, I got a "yep we got it" - not even a "thanks, we got it". Livid! and it all severely damaged our friendship. 
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  • jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2016
    Bad: 
    • Food (not enough, cold, or slow service)
    • Gaps or running late (my friend had an unintended gap due to pictures taking way longer than expected and cocktail hour turned into cocktail two and a half hours in hot afternoon sun with food that ran out 45 minutes)
    • Cash bars (ugh!)
    • Favors and décor when it's clear money went there instead of hosting properly (had a friend who gave embroidered cloth napkins...what am I going to do with one napkin?) and ornate centerpieces along with...cash bar and not enough food
    • Being uncomfortable in general (whether that's not enough places to sit, being too hot/cold, or too crowded when they don't realize that maximum capacity usually means if everyone is given standing room only)
    Good:
    • Food (if it's good or generally a crowd pleaser - people still talk about how one of the cash bar friends had chicken fingers on their buffet)
    • Wedding dresses (but none of the attire of the wedding party)
    • Toasts/speeches if they were short and clearly well thought out (unintended gap friend's wedding had the best man give a speech that was very endearing - I don't remember the exact words anymore, but I do remember the sentiment, but I wouldn't miss them if there weren't any)
    • A well-hosted wedding where I don't have to open my wallet/purse
    • DJ/music (either category) - A good DJ will keep the party moving, a bad one will be cringe worthy, and generally DJ iPod is pretty horrible for anything except for ambient music at brunch or a dinner party where dancing isn't expected.  I've been to enough family member/friendor DJ'd weddings that were pretty sucky for dancing that I now really appreciate when someone hires a really good DJ if they want dancing.
    • Delicious cake (I don't care how ornate or cutesy your cake is or isn't, it better be f'ing delicious)


    So basically, have good food, good cake, good music, and make sure the environment is comfortable for everyone.  If you get those four things right, I won't care if you do anything else above and beyond that - I'm not going to remember your décor very well or your programs or the favors.  But get those four things wrong and there's a good chance I will remember all the other things you did, but not in the way you hope - I'll be thinking about how you spent time/money on other stuff instead of getting the four basics right that would make you a good host.
  • Good food. Running out of food. Stupid favors, more likely to remember them than good ones, never remember when none. Gaps. Cash bars and limited time bars, as in switching from open to cash. Gorgeous locations, not the decor, but the view, or stunning location. The bride's dress. That one embarrassing person, not the couple's fault typically. Gaps. Odd or interesting waffling down the aisle or entering the reception songs. If the wedding prevented me from watching my college football team play. Gaps.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • kvruns said:
    hellohkb said:

    I'll also remember if you didn't even bother to say hi to me. At my wedding we did a receiving line AND we visited all the tables (separately) because I hate when the bride or groom don't even acknowledge most of their guests. The same wedding where I was seated with family I didn't like, the b and g didn't talk to a lot of people, I had to go up and say hello.  Another wedding I went to, in which I had to sit in the blazing, disgusting humid heat for about 2 hours, b wouldn't talk to people who were not her friends. She acted like an asshole to the g's friends. No surprise they divorced not even a few months later.

    That is one of my biggest issues too. For a friends wedding a couple years ago it was small (maybe 75 people) but they did no receiving line and no table visits so we basically had to stalk the bride outside on the big patio that also served as the dance floor because hello we wanted to talk to our friend who lives across the country and for whom we all traveled for the somewhat destination wedding (it was groom's hometown/beachtown but a big drive for everyone but his local family). That is what guided me the most for our wedding last year, ensuring it was not only small enough to get to talk to everyone but that we had it set up so we could and DID talk to everyone, usually multiple times (receiving line + reception)
    Yes. This. I went to a wedding where I assume they did a receiving line at the church but I don't know bc I missed the ceremony bc I had car issues and there was a five hour gap so I was already irritated at having to drive 1hr with nowhere to go for 5hrs between the ceremony and reception so when my car gave me issues I said oh well.... But when the bride and groom arrived at the cocktail hour (late) and then never did table visits and I NEVER ended up speaking to the groom the whole night- left a VERY bad taste in my mouth. Same couple didn't send thank you notes for 6+ months bc they "had" to have their professional pics on them and when I inquired about a gift I sent two weeks BEFORE the wedding, I got a "yep we got it" - not even a "thanks, we got it". Livid! and it all severely damaged our friendship. 




    Boxes noooo 


    That wedding I keep complaining about (in this post too) I never spoke a single word to the groom and the only time the bride interacted with me was to show off her shoes. They did table visits but I'm pretty sure he went to his side of the family/friends and she went to hers and they didn't cross paths. I wouldn't be able to pick him out of a line up. 

    Oh yeah, I almost forgot, the other interaction with me was to grab my arm and try and drag me up for the bouquet toss. Ughh

  • Am I too late to this party?  
    1 wedding: Outside in a park with a crappy sound system, I couldn't hear anything from the ceremony.  Then at the reception, 90% of the dancing part of the evening was taken up with "special dances," including a "tribute" to the bride that involved all members of the WP dancing for her and lasted at least 15 minutes. There were also separate mother/son, father/daughter, bride/groom, married the longest, etc dances, so for over an hour we just sat at our tables watching other people dance.  Maybe two or three hours, I'm not sure.  It felt like an eternity. All I know is, when we were booking our DJ, I was like "DO NOT DO ANY OF THAT CRAP, THAT WAS HORRIBLE."
    There was also a cash bar.

    Other than that wedding, I remember a groom who got so drunk he said a long goodbye to me 6 times.  It was like Groundhog Day but repeated every 2 minutes.  He had a cash bar, too, so I wonder if he was getting people to buy him drinks or if he had a flask hidden on him?  His wife was not amused, as she thought he would be too drunk to "perform" on their wedding night.  

    I honestly don't remember food from other weddings, which just means it wasn't really good but it also wasn't awful.  I do remember being HUNGRY at one wedding; we got to the reception about an hour or more before the B&G, there was nothing to eat or drink, and I didn't know anyone.  Even though it wasn't a large gap, it sucked because I wasn't expecting a gap at all.  If I'd known they were going to abandon us for that long, I would have stopped to grab some food on my way!
     
  • oh, another thing I'll remember is if there's no chicken option.  Like both  my brother's wedding and sister's.  My sister had 40 people, did a "know your crowd" type of thing but made it "know your crowd - screw your sister" type of thing because it was a filet and I'm not a steak eater.

    My brother and SIL took the advice of the coordinator who said fish, steak and vegetarian option (veggie lasagna) would be good for them.  I don't like fish OR steak/beef and I was low carbing back then pretty hard.  I wasn't going to break my LC diet even though I guess I should have because I was starving after both those weddings. 

    I'm sorry but they provided beef, fish and vegetarian option. If you are eating low carb, poultry-only maybe it's time to eat beforehand. You are making it sound like the only options were black pudding and haggis. If you choose to be a fussy eater you have to take personal responsibility. 

    Yea I agree with this, we provided beef, fish, and vegetarian (cheese tortellini in vodka sauce with veggies). It would have been really expensive to add a 4th option for Chicken so we had to decide between chicken and fish. Honestly there were probably some people who would prefer chicken but the majority of our crowd would prefer fish so that's what we went with and it wasn't a screw someone over choice it just made the most sense. We had chicken options with appetizers so I guess if someone was really worried they'd be hungry they could fill up on apps. 

    As a vegetarian I'm always super thrilled when a veggie option is available but I typically have a backup plan in case there isn't (ie. I take note of the closest fast food place and if DH and I need to run out to grab some food for me and then go back or home depending on the reception.) It's my choice to be picky so I plan accordingly. Similarly when I go to someone's for dinner I either eat what they have except the meat or bring my own. 

    I too also usually remember the bad, cash bars, gaps, being seated right next to the speakers, having no seating chart but over half the tables being reserved, having to help with setup/tear-down, bad food/not enough food, dollar dance, honeyfunds, registry on invites, bride and bridal party disappearing for 2 hrs during reception and returning in jeans, really ugly bridesmaid dresses.

    This one isn't really the bride/grooms fault but I was at a wedding where the guy in front of us took like 5 billion pictures including selfies during the ceremony while his wife was videoing the whole thing on her phone. Like I hate unplugged ceremonies and I get wanting to snap a couple of pictures of the bride and groom but really it was so distracting and annoying having them in front of us.

    I do remember good food, and how much fun I had. A lot of times fun is a direct result of the people I'm with though. 
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  • I think the overall moral of the story always is to treat your guests as well as humanly possible, and hope for the best. I remember something different from all the weddings I've been to. Especially attending 8 in a span of 13 months from 2014-2015, on top of all the other weddings I've attended in the past, something always sticks out for better or for worse.
    1. I had a blast at my college roommate's wedding because the group of us bridal party members got drunk and tore up the dance floor. But, I wasn't eating meat at the time, and her "vegetarian option" was bland spaghetti. Ugh. Worst wedding meal I've ever had. 
    2. Went to a beautiful wedding, nearly everything etiquette-approved except for the head table, but what should have been a good meal (tasted good, at least) was barely lukewarm by the time the caterers got to my table. Seemed to be sitting on a shelf for a least a half hour before being set before me. Really fun wedding but the meal was a huge disappointment. 
    3. Went to a wedding at a great venue and the ceremony was on a deck was a fantastic view. We got to enjoy it way more than planned as we could see the entire bridal party lined up for 20 minutes past start time. Apparently the officiant disagreed with the order of ceremony and completed redid the whole thing as all us guests sat outside, where it started drizzling. 
    4. My sister's wedding cake is still hands-down the best wedding cake I've ever had. 
    5. I'd never been to a wedding with a live band until 2014, and that wedding stands out as one of the most fun. They also had amazing food and unique decor. 
    6. I remember a lot from the last wedding in which I was a BM, but my husband really only remembers the fact that their late night food was White Castle. He won't admit how many burgers he ate. 

    Most weddings just kind of blend together no matter how fun or well-hosted. Food good, DJ/Band good, beautiful vows, beautiful decor, done and done. 
    ________________________________


  • edited March 2016
    The open bar, entertainment (the photo booth as well as the crazy bridal party and their antics), watching someone be asked to leave because they were told not to come and still showed up anyway ( oh the drama lol), the horrible smell in the venue elevator, drinking in the parking lot at a no  alcohol wedding, the creative table names (places that were special to the couple, not numbers)

  • I remember a bride's pushy aunt trying to force people to take pics with the disposable cameras on the tables.

    At one where I was a bridesmaid, the couple made guests wait with no cocktail hour because they went to go have sex before the reception. I said fuck this and left. I told that story a couple years ago here on TK and got told by another reg that I was the rude one for costing the couple money by leaving. Mmmmmk.

    At a wedding I went to last year, the couple didn't finish their table visits, including not coming to ours. Some of the food was also cold at that one, and their website had the "no pics, please be present in the moment" request.

    At my heinous cousin's wedding, they were trying to "include" everyone, and there was a random boy about 3 in a suit or tux who walked down the aisle for no reason. And their favors were a bookmark with a picture of them. Gag. 

    I remember good things, too, but it blends together as someone else said. I've never been to a wedding where something was so unique or awesome that it stands out. It tends to be the shit that made the experience unpleasant that I recall. 

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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