We are planning a very small no-frills wedding for our family and close childhood friends. We did this for a lot of reasons... one of which, we're both sticking to a strict budget. We're both teachers, and we're paying for the wedding on our own. We're in our 30's, so rather than spend a ton of money on the wedding, we'd like to save up money to start our family in the next year or so. We got a great venue, but it's also very small - 50 people max.
Because of this, we have had to keep the guest list very short. We're not even having groomsmen and bridesmaids - mainly to spare people's feelings and make it easier on everyone. But for some reason everyone we've ever known EVER keeps inviting themselves to our wedding. It is constant. People are getting publicly angry with us on Facebook, my coworkers are no longer talking to me, distant step-family members I have never actually met in person are hurt... And we keep giving the same line, "We would love to have everyone come, but we had to keep it very small and limited to family." And people are still furious with us!
I'm wishing we had just eloped. I thought the whole point of weddings was to celebrate starting your new life as a married couple with your family, and your community recognizing your new role... NOT everyone who supposedly cares about you expecting you to drown yourself in debt (#1 cause of divorce is financial problems!) so they can come to a "free" party.
I don't know if people just think we're being cheap skates? If we were in higher-earning careers maybe we could afford a bigger wedding. But I feel like we deserve to at least have a day with our family, even if we don't make a ton of money. Now I feel like we're somehow being selfish for getting married???
This whole thing is just making me feel horrible. The wedding is already ruined and it's still months away. Has anyone else out here had this happen? What do you do? What do you do when explaining "we're just keeping it small and private" doesn't work? I know - if they're really your friends they'll understand...but they don't. And I have to maintain a work relationship with some of these people. And some of these people are step-family.
Instead of feeling loved and embraced by people we love, we feel totally abandoned by everyone we thought cared.