Most dreaded wedding moments?

short+sassy · February 2016

My wedding already passed, but I am going to cheat and tell you what I was worried about:

1) Crying like a tropical rainstorm at the altar and not being able to say my vows because of it. As it turned out, I had some tears in my eyes, but was not actually crying. Score! My H was crying more than me, it was so sweet.

2) Using the bathroom wearing my enormous wedding dress, complete with hoop skirt.

I'm a Type I diabetic and have to spend my life delicately balancing my insulin shots with my food intake. And crazy days makes it even scarier. I was worried I would take too much insulin and have a low blood sugar episode during the wedding/reception. I purposely took less than normal.

But that can lead to high blood sugars, which leads to having to pee every 20-30 minutes, which leads to me being worried how I would pee at all in my huge dress...much less every 20-30 minutes.

By some miracle, I didn't have to use the bathroom at all the entire time I was wearing my wedding dress. Phew!

OurWildKingdom · February 2016

Glad everything went smoothly for you!

lembaslover · February 2016

OurWildKingdom said:

Tears - I cry at everything, happy, sad, indifferent.
Trying to manage the guest list. Right now we have 131 people for a venue that only holds 120. FW keeps trying to remind me that some people are going to say no, but I still worry.
Health emergencies in either of our families or in our circle of friends.
No one wanting to dance.
Money. I'm taking on a side job and freelance work to pay for everything. FW is not happy about it but accepts that we need the extra money.
Running out of steam from all the DIY I'm going to be doing.

Please do not invite more people than your venue can hold. This is just a disaster waiting to happen. You don't want to be worried the week or two before your wedding as you are getting RSVPs and seeing that everyone is RSVPing yes. What if everyone does say yes, who are you going to un-invite? Also make sure you count yourselves and your vendors in that number. Typically the max limits are driven by fire code and not flexible.

zerostarzombie · February 2016

ShesSoCold said:

zerostarzombie said:

I'm absolutely nervous on how the FI and I's families will mingle. My mom and step-dad already don't get along well with my FI's parents because they have two totally different mindsets. Example being my FI's dad does not want to come to our wedding tasting tomorrow afternoon because he doesn't "feel comfortable participating in something he's not paying for." They had a huge disagreement when we bought our house last year as well, passively fighting over stupid things, putting FI and I in the middle.

Other than that, I'm worried about stumbling my words for vows and being an absolute mess.

Why are you involving them in these things then? You FFIL flat out said he did not want to come to the tasting - are you pushing him to come? What could they possibly argue over when you bought a house? H and I just bought our first house and the extent of our parent involvement has been a text and a link telling them that we made an offer on a house. That's it. I don't get why you keep involving them these kinds of things.

I was not pushing them at all, they wanted to be involved with everything with our house. My step dad is a heating and airconditioning business owner along with electric, and wanted to help along the way. FI's dad is a youtube tutorial kind of guy, and they just butted heads, and it caused tension. We do not expect them to do anything. We invited FI's parents to the tasting simply as a gesture of sharing the experience with them, and FI's mom had to work, so dad did not want to come, which is okay. My parents wanted to bond with them, but it just didn't happen. That's all.

OurWildKingdom · February 2016

marriedhamstermom said:

OurWildKingdom said:

Tears - I cry at everything, happy, sad, indifferent.
Trying to manage the guest list. Right now we have 131 people for a venue that only holds 120. FW keeps trying to remind me that some people are going to say no, but I still worry.
Health emergencies in either of our families or in our circle of friends.
No one wanting to dance.
Money. I'm taking on a side job and freelance work to pay for everything. FW is not happy about it but accepts that we need the extra money.
Running out of steam from all the DIY I'm going to be doing.

Please do not invite more people than your venue can hold. This is just a disaster waiting to happen. You don't want to be worried the week or two before your wedding as you are getting RSVPs and seeing that everyone is RSVPing yes. What if everyone does say yes, who are you going to un-invite? Also make sure you count yourselves and your vendors in that number. Typically the max limits are driven by fire code and not flexible.

After a lot of wrangling, we got the guest list down to 92. Alas, the venue we wanted is booked already, so I'm looking at others that will hold at least 110.

justsuzie · March 2016

My fiance is picking the first dance song and leaving it a secret. I wouldn't be surprised if it is an acoustic Misfits song.

OurWildKingdom · March 2016

justsuzie said:

My fiance is picking the first dance song and leaving it a secret. I wouldn't be surprised if it is an acoustic Misfits song.

As long as it's not "Die, Die, My Darling!"

RomanceManaged · March 2016

1. Terrified of weather. Wedding is in June. In Michigan. Outside. Who the eff knows what its going to do out there. I have a back up, but would be a bit bummed if we had to use it.
2. People being bored. The ceremony is at 3pm and I really hope people stay and have fun, but am afraid of people leaving early because I'm a super boring person.
3. Completely out of character for me- I'm having all of my tattoos covered because I have this dumb idea about how I should look, and I'm worried they won't be covered enough and having people side eye my W.o.W Horde crest and the rest of my ink. I panic about this a lot. I love my ink, it makes me smile and remember times that were tough that I survived, but I have this fucking dumb idea about being "clean" on our wedding day. It makes zero sense to me. I've talked to my therapist about it and she just gives me raised eyebrow face. IDK.
4. i'm a plus size girl and I have this super embarassing fear of not fitting in the seat on the airplane the next morning. >.>
5. Forgetting something crucial.
6. Having everything paid by the deadline. FI's parents have offerred to help with anything financially, and are paying for the catering, but I'm worried about getting everything else paid/done in time and don't want to ask them for anything more than what they've given.

MaggieF1990 · March 2016

My fiance has a tumultuous relationship with his parents and we have no idea if they're coming (wedding is about two months out). They go through phases of not speaking to each other and then being kinda-sorta-OK, but it has probably been a couple years now since they've been on good terms. My fiance has honestly kind of given up on the relationship, but having such a close knit family, my mom can't even fathom them not coming to their son's wedding (and I can't either). She has reached out to his mom, we've talked to other family members, and still really don't know if they'll show up. I'm 99 percent sure we won't get an RSVP at all from them, and even if we were to call I think we'll keep getting wishy-washy answers.

At this point, I've accepted the fact that they might not come even though it breaks my heart, but I'm more worried about them deciding to show up at the last minute and then all of a sudden wanting to be involved.

That, and just simple logistics. My mom and I are both super organized, but I'm terrified we'll end up forgetting something simple.

OurWildKingdom · March 2016

We got the guest list and menu sorted and chose our venue (indoors with both air conditioning and heat), so now my fears are running out of food or being left with too much; no one wanting to dance; people complaining because we don't have alcohol (the venue is alcohol-free and half our guests are sober) or soda (we're providing coffee, iced tea, water, lemonade, and punch); wasting money on outdoor games (our venue is at a park, so we're renting bocce, cornhole, and horseshoes sets for those who don't want to dance).

Jen4948 · March 2016

Mine have changed somewhat, so I'm going to update:

1) My biggest fear is that either or both of my parents, or another loved one, will end up hospitalized and unable to attend my wedding.

2) Second is that there will be inclement weather, an act of G-d, or some other event that a lawyer would call force majeure that would put whatever plans we'd made into a tailspin, including any Plan Bs (and with my family, there will be Plan Zs).

3) Third is of any potential power struggles with my parents. Unfortunately, my mother has a very managing personality, and my dad is a pushover, and they have tendencies to spring plans on me that they made without keeping me in the loop or taking my needs into consideration, while expecting me to be forever "grateful" that they wanted to do something "nice" for me (which was really an ego-stroke for them) where the real beneficiaries are them and their friends and whichever relatives they're feeling closest to at the moment.

bleve0821 · March 2016

We live five states away from where we're having the wedding, so it's already been a nightmare. Here's my list.

1. Falling on my face as I walk down the aisle.

2. Forgetting the wedding bands at home. Or FI's suit. Or the BM gifts. Or my shoes. Or anything.

3. Falling on my face as I walk up/down the elegant staircase.

4. We (I) are (am) DIYing the reception décor, so being left with 80 embellished candle votives/vases no one wanted to take with them (despite the signage saying PLEASE TAKE ME).

5. Falling on my face during the first dance.

6. Not accounting for how big the reception space is and realizing I don't have enough decorations.

7. Falling on my face. At any time. For any reason.

8. The pet sitter calling to tell us that my 10-1/2 yo dog with a breed-common degenerative heart disease has died.

MissKittyDanger · March 2016

@Bleve0821
- Falling was my fear so I held my mum's hand for dear life when walking.
- Any decor, just start handing it out. If people won't take it, bring it home and start hitting up people to see if they want it. We had flameless candles that we didn't want to keep everything, so instead of getting rid of everything that night we started hitting up family and friends who wanted them.
- i walked out of our apartment towards rehearsal, locked the door and headed out then realized half way down the hall we forgot to grab H's suit because he wasn't going to be back home that night. Make a list of things to bring and it check off.

lnixon8 · March 2016

Bleve0821 said:

We live five states away from where we're having the wedding, so it's already been a nightmare. Here's my list.

1. Falling on my face as I walk down the aisle.
2. Forgetting the wedding bands at home. Or FI's suit. Or the BM gifts. Or my shoes. Or anything.
3. Falling on my face as I walk up/down the elegant staircase.
4. We (I) are (am) DIYing the reception décor, so being left with 80 embellished candle votives/vases no one wanted to take with them (despite the signage saying PLEASE TAKE ME).
5. Falling on my face during the first dance.
6. Not accounting for how big the reception space is and realizing I don't have enough decorations.
7. Falling on my face. At any time. For any reason.
8. The pet sitter calling to tell us that my 10-1/2 yo dog with a breed-common degenerative heart disease has died.

Join a wedding consignment facebook page. I had my centerpieces already spoken for 3 months before my wedding. I sold fake flowers, bridemsid dresses. As long as your specific it can be a great tool!

MandyMost · March 2016

Here's what I dread at wedding's I'm invited to:

The ceremony not starting on time.
No seats during the ceremony, or not enough for everyone. Even if I get a seat, if other people are stuck standing, I feel so awkward about it.
Weather/temperature issues and a bride/groom who are too selfish about their "vision" to move the ceremony to a comfortable location (like inside!). I've been to weddings where it's 90 degrees, and where it's 40 degrees, and forced to sit (or stand!) outside for the ceremony.
A gap of any kind. There is NO EXCUSE to have an unhosted block of time between the ceremony and the reception.
A ridiculous line for the bar immediately after the ceremony. Either hire more bartenders, or have some pre-poured cocktails around.
Cash bar, of any kind.
Sitting through endless introductions (the couple, the family, the bridal party, etc.), especially if they are all synced up to songs and the people seem so uncomfortable "dancing" in to their songs. No one cares.
A meal that drags on and on; I don't want to be stuck at my table for 2 hours.
"Speeches" instead of toasts. And lots of them. Keep it to a max of 2-3 people, and a max of 2 minutes per person!
Unassigned seating--I hate feeling like I"m in a middle school cafeteria and have to find a seat with people I know.
Games of any kind--it's a wedding, not a kid's birthday party. I don't want to see the bride and groom play a game, and I don't want to play a game (such as to see who gets the centerpiece). Ugh.
Too many spotlight dances--you get a MAX of 3, and even then it's best to keep the songs short.
Any kind of bouquet and garter toss. I've never met a guest who actually enjoyed any part of either of these, or any variation on them.

ernursej · March 2016

The most dreaded moment of weddings I've been to ... garter toss.

I'm personally dreading a few things about my own wedding:

1) Walking down the aisle ... I hate being the center of attention.

2) Someone trying to give a speech. We are only doing a quick thank you speech and not having any other speeches, but I know that someone could potentially standup and start talking.

While not dreading ... I'm certainly worried about a few things (all very irrational things):

1) Running out of food ... if anything we will have WAY too much food.

2) VIPs being late and then we can't start on time. I'm a stickler for time management.

3) Someone ending up sick and unable to attend. I'm purposely not eating out (bad anaphylaxis allergy) the week before to ensure I'm not the one hospitalized!

4) Getting over emotional. I'm a messy crier. I'm sure I will cry, but I hope that I can keep it to misting and not Niagara Falls.

princessbuttercup09 · April 2016

Things I'm dreading:
1. My mom deciding to give a speech at my wedding about how mothers of the bride don't really have a role. (She did it at my sister's wedding.)
2. Falling. I am not the most coordinated kid on the block.
3. FI being half asleep or crabby for the ceremony because he works nights and usually doesn't wake up before 3.
4. Something not going right with one of the vendors.
On the upside I have until October to come up with even more things to dread. Whoo hoo!! hahaha..

OurWildKingdom · April 2016

princessbuttercup09 said:

Things I'm dreading:
1. My mom deciding to give a speech at my wedding about how mothers of the bride don't really have a role. (She did it at my sister's wedding.)

Say what?????

princessbuttercup09 · April 2016

@OurWildKingdom Yeah... She sort of crashed my dad's speech. It was an interesting moment. I had a big drink after that and pretended it didn't happen.

ScottishSarah · April 2016

@OurWildKingdom have you sent out save the dates yet? If not I would urge you to cut the list back to under 120. I don't know how long you have to go but wedding planning is difficult enough without having to panic every time you get a Yes RSVP.
If you have sent out invites/STDs then maybe we could help think of some creative ways to fit more guests in the venue. For example, could your top table have the chairs moved to the side and the table removed after dinner to create a small dance floor? Plated rather than buffet, bar in a separate room etc etc. (Obviously I don't know your venue layout). Hope you get it resolved, I would hate to be stressing about that!

OurWildKingdom · April 2016

ScottishSarah said:

@OurWildKingdom have you sent out save the dates yet? If not I would urge you to cut the list back to under 120. I don't know how long you have to go but wedding planning is difficult enough without having to panic every time you get a Yes RSVP.
If you have sent out invites/STDs then maybe we could help think of some creative ways to fit more guests in the venue. For example, could your top table have the chairs moved to the side and the table removed after dinner to create a small dance floor? Plated rather than buffet, bar in a separate room etc etc. (Obviously I don't know your venue layout). Hope you get it resolved, I would hate to be stressing about that!

@ScottishSarah, we have not sent save the dates. We're coming up on five months, so it may be past time. We've cut the guest list to 105, and we may yet make some more cuts to the list.

ScottishSarah · April 2016

That's great! That would be really stress full

princessleia22 · April 2016

princessbuttercup09 said:

Things I'm dreading:
1. My mom deciding to give a speech at my wedding about how mothers of the bride don't really have a role. (She did it at my sister's wedding.)

Have you considered giving her some sort of roll? My mom did a reading at my brothers wedding. At my wedding, DH and I had both our moms sign our marriage license as witnesses, instead of having our BM/MOH sign it. We figured that having their show of support on the license would be more meaningful to us and it was very meaningful to them. Or maybe even plan ahead for mom to do a speech, so she has some inclusion in the event? She may be more appropriate with her speech if she plans it ahead of time, instead of stealing the speech time from someone else.

Most dreaded wedding moments?

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