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Wedding Etiquette Forum
thisismynickname2
member
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Spinoff poll- "causing a scene"
thisismynickname2
member
I'm genuinely curious if anyone has witnessed "a scene" at their wedding or a wedding they attended.
Given the plethora of "I'm afraid so-and-so will cause a scene at my wedding" questions, I thought a poll would be interesting, as the fear tends to induce some etiquette-bending questions.
Define "scene" in the comments if you've witnessed one!
Given the plethora of "I'm afraid so-and-so will cause a scene at my wedding" questions, I thought a poll would be interesting, as the fear tends to induce some etiquette-bending questions.
Define "scene" in the comments if you've witnessed one!
________________________________
Spinoff poll- "causing a scene" 159 votes
No, I have never witnessed anything I'd define as "a scene" at my wedding or wedding I've attended.
64%
102 votes
Yes, someone I was afraid would cause a scene at my wedding did actually cause a scene at my wedding.
2%
4 votes
Yes, I witnessed someone cause a scene at a wedding I attended.
20%
33 votes
I like turtles and puppy gifs.
12%
20 votes
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Spinoff poll- "causing a scene"
I've seen a scene. At a family friend's wedding years and years ago, somehow my brother's girlfriend found out he was cheating on her. She definitely caused a scene.
I wasn't at this wedding, but my sister was a BM in a wedding where the MOH got into an all-out screaming match with a groomsman because he took off his jacket before the groom did. There was a huge scene during cocktail hour (the C word was used) and the grooms parents left. It was bad.
ETA there were two mild scenes at my brother's wedding. Long story short, our BSC cousin was bawling. Like, wailing super loud and needed to be removed. Also a family friend got mega drunk and hit on pretty much everyone and yakked in the hallway. His wife is still embarrassed.
And that's it, out of the dozens and dozens of weddings I've attended. I've seen some tacky shit, but nothing else I would consider a scene.
I've never seen a scene. I've seen a lot of happy drunks and a BM cheated on her FI with a GM (found that out a few days later) but nothing that disrupted an actual wedding or wedding reception.
I'll also say that as far as my wedding was concerned, I am aware that there are some in-law family politics that are less than desirable. Also, there were two guests at my wedding who are gay and at least one known homophobic uncle. No scenes, no uncomfortableness made known, nothing but jovial drunkenness and bad dance moves.
I don't think it was a particularly loud/obnoxious thing, but at DH's oldest brother's wedding, one of their female first cousins got very drunk and was hitting on/trying to dance rather provocatively with a few of her male cousins, who were very uncomfortable, and she was taken home early by her understandably angry BF (now H).
However I do like turtle and puppy gifs.
At one wedding I think the bride was upset at her father because she opted to storm off the dance floor instead of dance the father daughter dance. There were no fights but I look back on it 15 years later an wonder WTF happened.
Who were the people "causing a scene" at these various weddings, either behind the scenes or at the reception? In no particular order:
Bride
MOB
MOG
BMs
BM's Date
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
1. I have previously mentioned XSIL's sister's MOH toast at my brother's wedding, in which she talked about herself the entire time and broke down in tears several times. If we were the brawling type of family, it might not have been a big deal. But we're all very buttoned up, so in that context it was definitely a capital-S Scene.
2. (Different) SIL disappeared from our wedding, poof, gone. It later turned out that she and FIL exchanged words about something or other, and she decided to just up and leave without telling anyone (incl. her date!) so everyone was like "Where's SIL?" But again, compared to police being called or something, it was very minor.
That's it. That's all I got, and I've been to a lot of weddings. Also
At another wedding where she was a guest she had another melt down and pushed other guests and kicked empty chairs out of her way while trying to (I'm assuming) find another room to lock herself in.
Thinking about it, none of the issues I've seen at a wedding were instances where people had worried for months about it. They just happened.
No one thought ahead of time that my brother's girlfriend would lose her shit at Sheila's wedding. Sheila never worried even a little bit about nutbag girlfriend.
The wedding where my sister was a BM? That girl had no idea or worry that her sister would get all nuts.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
At my grandmother's funeral, bi-polar Uncle Joe showed up wearing a yarmulke and shouting that he was Jewish. (He isn't.) This funeral was held in rural Iowa. His exact words were "Don't mess with me! I'm a God Damned Jew!"
A friend, who actually WAS Jewish walked up to him and said "So? And when did you get circumsized?" He had no answer. He sat down at the reception and wolfed down three ham sandwiches, still wearing the yarmulke.
This man had stolen $70,000 from my grandmother many years ago and disappeared to parts unknown. His sister confronted him about it in the church. She demanded that he pay back the money so that she would have an inheritance. He told her to go to hell. Lots of witnesses on this one.
His wife had called the day before to tell me that he had left his bi-polar meds at home and was probably off them again. No surprise. I promised her that I would keep him from driving a car. I was successful.
When I say that mental illness gallops in my family, I'm not exaggerating.
If you are worried about a scene, scope out the more private areas of the venue. I do this frequently because of my anxiety; it helps to know where to go if I need a breather. You could direct people there if something does happen with a glass of water and some emergency chocolate. (I pack emergency chocolate on me almost all the time.)
ETA: it wasn't a yelling or screaming fight. Just a dude in the hall, trying to talk some sense to his too drunk girlfriend.
At SILs wedding DH's very badly behaved cousin (she's 16 but mentally acts like she's 6 and has never been told no in her life) kept harassing the bartenders telling them that they were going to hell for serving alcohol and so was everyone drinking it. While it wasn't quite enough to be a scene it was clearly obnoxious. She did cause a scene at SILs shower as she made a huge deal about SIL already living with her then FI again telling them they were living in sin and going to hell. Then she threw another fit b/c she didn't like the shower favor which was a small bottle of lotion I think. She was not invited to our wedding.
So since the question, regardless of whether one was voting in the poll, was has anyone witnessed a scene at their wedding or a wedding they attended, then according to the rules of logic
No one decided your answer but you. ><
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
But was the above post was incorrect? The OP asked if anyone had witnessed a scene. You haven't witnessed a scene.
I guess I could say, "I haven't eaten enough cheesy poofs today," but that doesn't answer the actual question - and you still wouldn't be able to tell me how to post.