Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Pre-wedding Parties
Pre-wedding Parties
New Discussion
Options

Bridal Shower, Who do I invite?

dyerwisedyerwise member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
in Pre-wedding Parties
I've never been involved with the bridal shower guest list process before, so, I wanted to check to see if I am going about this the right way.

My sisters and two close friends are hosting my Bridal Shower and have asked me for a guest list. The guest list count is way below what they can comfortably host, so head count is not an issue.

My FIL's had asked if we would be able to invite 4 couples that are close friends to our wedding, and FI grew up around these couples so we decided to invite them. Wedding invites have not gone out yet, but STD's have. I plan on inviting most of the women invited to my wedding, however, of the 4 couples that are FIL's friends I have only met two.

My concerns are that if I invite the two women I have met and not the other two, feelings might get hurt or if I invite the 2 women I have not yet met it might look gift grabby.

I'm thinking not to invite the 4 women at all, but, I know that FMIL is close with all 4 women and would enjoy having them at the Bridal Shower.



Report Reply to Post

Re: Bridal Shower, Who do I invite?

  • Options
    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I probably wouldn't invite any of them either.  


    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    When my mother hosted my sister's shower, she asked my sister's FMIL for her guest list.  A handful of her good friends who were invited to the wedding were on her list.  My sister hadn't met them but the FMIL doesn't have sisters and I guess wanted them at her table?  (They all rsvp'ed yes within days of the invitation going out- I was co-hosting and received the rsvps- so I imagine they were happy to be invited, and not put off?)  Have your sisters and close friends asked your FMIL for her guest list?  She knows her friends best, if she thinks they'll be offended/think it's a gift-grab I imagine she'll leave them off.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Is you FMIL holding a separate shower for you? If not I agree with @eileenrob and express your concerns. My bridesmaids threw my shower (close friend, sister and my SILs who were Hs sister and SIL). I hadn't met a number of the women on Hs side but MIL and SILs wanted to invite them, so they did. I felt a little weird about it, but in the end they were right, MIL was close to them and appreciated having them there. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I'm with SSC on this. I also think it looks gift grabby when the shower list is huge, including people the bride doesn't really know.

    I realize some people have quite large showers, but to me, they are more personal events where the hosts are inviting people YOU know (vs. FH).


    Report Reply
  • Options
    lnixon8lnixon8 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    If FMIL was hosting I would think this is okay but its your sisters and friends...skip them! If they want to send you a gift they will figure it out.


    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2016
    I think that since these two women are your FMIL's guests and not your families,' and you have never met them, they need not be invited to the shower.

    If your FMIL wants to invite them to a shower she is throwing for you, that's her call.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2016
    I think it's odd to invite friends of hers you've never met to a shower, especially since she isn't hosting. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    If you and the hosts are fine with them coming I'd just ask FMIL if she would like them to be invited. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    dyerwise said:
    I've never been involved with the bridal shower guest list process before, so, I wanted to check to see if I am going about this the right way.

    My sisters and two close friends are hosting my Bridal Shower and have asked me for a guest list. The guest list count is way below what they can comfortably host, so head count is not an issue.

    My FIL's had asked if we would be able to invite 4 couples that are close friends to our wedding, and FI grew up around these couples so we decided to invite them. Wedding invites have not gone out yet, but STD's have. I plan on inviting most of the women invited to my wedding, however, of the 4 couples that are FIL's friends I have only met two.

    My concerns are that if I invite the two women I have met and not the other two, feelings might get hurt or if I invite the 2 women I have not yet met it might look gift grabby.

    I'm thinking not to invite the 4 women at all, but, I know that FMIL is close with all 4 women and would enjoy having them at the Bridal Shower.



    The Bridal Shower is being held in your honor.  Your guest list should include friends and relatives who are invited to the wedding.
    While it is fine to invite people whom you, personally, don't know, but who are friends of your FI's family to your wedding, this is not OK for a shower.  The Bridal Shower is for YOU, not both of you, and not your FMIL.  Limit the shower guest list to people whom you know personally.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • Options
    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    A bit late to the game ....I got invited to a bridal shower for the (now) wife of one of DH's cousins.  I briefly met this cousin at our wedding, and would not be able to pick him out of a crowd.   I found the invite to be gift-grabby  (but I'm 99% sure that H's aunt made the guest list and is hosting the shower ... and I also briefly met her at the wedding and could not identify her in a crowd).

    I say don't invite.




    Report Reply
  • Options
    dyerwisedyerwise member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Thanks everyone! My instinct was to not invite the 4 ladies so I'm glad everyone confirmed! :)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Knottie1451694230Knottie1451694230 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I say it depends what you are going for. If you want to put what makes you comfortable first then do not invite them because they are not in your circle. If you want to put the needs of your in-laws first, then invite them. If you do invite them, you know why you invited them, your future mother in law is happy and who cares what other people think. Also, one way to maybe ease your feelings of appearing "gift grabby" is to include a note from you with their invitation to the bridal shower that says, "it means so much to my mother in law to have you there, I look forward to your support and fellowship" or something like that. 
    I would also add that you should not worry so much about what other people think. It is waaaaaayyy too exhausting. Just figure out your goals, what's important to you, and focus on making that happen.
    "Poor is the man who's pleasure depends on the permission of another."
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2016
    Knottie1461321497 said:
    I think that is really hard to tell lol! <link> is place where you can get some more suggestions for your query..Cheers
    Vendor alert!

    I can't see who the mod of this board is on my phone to tag, but I didn't want that to get buried. 



    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards