• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Wedding Party

Suits. (Vent)

2»

Re: Suits. (Vent)

  • lightningsnowlightningsnow New Hampshire member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    I will be in my third wedding in three weeks. This one is the only one I'm truly looking forward to being in. My first was when I was a jr. bridesmaid at the age of 11-12 and wore this god awful lacy nightmare that looked like something from Toddlers and Tiaras. It was scratchy and hideous. I never touched it again.

    My second was when I was the MOH for my now estranged brother's wedding. I was 19 and in college. While SIL said long dresses in red from David's Bridal, it was still pricey and something that I had to have altered heavily to fit my small frame. It sat in my parents' closet for years afterwards until my mother donated it.

    My BFF, whose wedding is the one in three weeks, just said knee length in blue. She didn't care how much we spent on it or what color blue, as long as we felt comfortable it in. I bought mine for a total of $3 at Goodwill and I'll be able to wear it many times after her wedding. She doesn't even care about shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, accessories. She just wants us comfortable.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





    SP29madamerwin[Deleted User]
  • lightningsnowlightningsnow New Hampshire member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    edited April 2016
    I will be in my third wedding in three weeks. This one is the only one I'm truly looking forward to being in. My first was when I was a jr. bridesmaid at the age of 11-12 and wore this god awful lacy nightmare that looked like something from Toddlers and Tiaras. It was scratchy and hideous. I never touched it again.

    My second was when I was the MOH for my now estranged brother's wedding. I was 19 and in college. While SIL said long dresses in red from David's Bridal, it was still pricey and something that I had to have altered heavily to fit my small frame. It sat in my parents' closet for years afterwards until my mother donated it.

    My BFF, whose wedding is the one in three weeks, just said knee length in blue. She didn't care how much we spent on it or what color blue, as long as we felt comfortable it in. I bought mine for a total of $3 at Goodwill and I'll be able to wear it many times after her wedding. She doesn't even care about shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, accessories. She just wants us comfortable.
    Your BFF sounds like a class act. See, who wouldn't want their WP to feel this way? This is worth more than any photo IMO.
    She is awesome!

    ETA: I think because of the travel involved, especially for me since I live in NH and she lives in SD, she wanted us to not pay out the ass.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





    ernursej
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    redoryx said:
    I'm not giving up on my love for the khaki suit, but it's up to FI and his groomsmen to decide what they want. We're definitely not going to buy the GMs suits for them when the BMs bought their own dresses already. I still don't think medium or dark grey would look as nice in the pictures and i really really hate the idea of mix n match greys, but i'm washing my hands and marrying the man no matter what suit he and his brothers show up wearing. Unless it's camo. That miiight be a dealbreaker :)

    @PrettyGirlLost - The suit that the GM picked out was a very slim fit medium/dark grey suit, with tapered pants that are almost snug-looking through the ankles, and very narrow lapels. FI is not super-skinny or athletic, so that cut of suit would be really unflattering on him, and probably on his other GM too. 
    I was more frustrated by the GM's push to switch to a way more expensive super-trendy cut suit than the different/darker color in and of itself, because a) FI probably wouldn't look good in it and b) it's not a good investment if it'll look dated in 2-3 years. 

    @AtomicBlonde - We've had really good experiences w/ JAB suits/jackets/pants before (in store & online), FI absolutely loves the stuff he already has from there and he gets the same fits and sizes every time, just in new colors/fabrics. They also have a good return/exchange policy (90 days), and have stores close to us and the GMs, so I didn't think it was unreasonable to ask them to order at that price before it changed. I probably should've immediately/explicitly told FI after we found out about the price change that i'd be happy to monitor it for them and let them know when it drops below $200, but that ship has sailed.

    @levioosa -  My understanding of wedding party etiquette is that you don't accept unless you're willing to show up sober and wearing whatever the bride and groom asked you to buy/rent. When I was a BM for my friend's wedding, I wasn't a huge fan of the dress color, but it was what she wanted so I smiled, told her i loved it, and then stuck it in the back of my closet after the reception. It wasn't wasted money if it made her feel happy and supported for the day. I've never expected to be able to wear a BM dress a second time or that the bride/groom would change their color or style preference based on what i liked best or what was easiest/cheapest for me. 

    Why is there a double standard that the BMs just go along with it (barring major logistical issues like dress not available in their size, the girls falling out of a strapless neckline, etc) but everyone seems to think that groomsmen should be able to wear things they already own or buy wardrobe staples? 

    This is true, up to a point. You don't get to unilaterally pick out a $600 bridesmaid dress or $400 suit and tell your wedding party to suck it up buttercup. You have to check about budgets, privately with each person, and then pick a dress/suit that meets the lowest budget option. Also, just because a dress or suit looks good on one person doesn't mean it's going to look good on the next, so just picking a dress may leave you with a wedding party who feel very uncomfortable. 

    This is why we urge couples to just give guidelines, like color, and let their wedding party pick out whatever they want.
    Yup.  This exactly.  


    image
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm late to this thread, but also want to say, just like there are few dresses that are universally flattering for women, few suits are universally flattering. I can always tell when male attendants are wearing matching outfits because few of them look good in them. (A bridal party where all the men's pants were so baggy they literally looked like penguins comes to mind.) Conversely, when the men get their own suit in a certain color, they tend to look hot. 
    Similar to LNixon above, my male attendants wore black suits from their own closets. I can't tell in pictures they aren't matching. Hell, I didn't even notice one guy decided to wear the vest (3 piece suit). We bought them matching ties and they wore properly fitted outfits. Another party comes to mind where they were told gray. All the grays weren't the same, but you end up with a wonderfully textured look rather than some matte wash of color in your photos. 
    I also know a guy who had to wear a rented gray suit in a trendy slim cut and the pants split on the butt. Those photos were hilarious. No idea what he did after photos for the reception but yeah... split pants. 


    ________________________________


  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm late to this thread, but also want to say, just like there are few dresses that are universally flattering for women, few suits are universally flattering. I can always tell when male attendants are wearing matching outfits because few of them look good in them. (A bridal party where all the men's pants were so baggy they literally looked like penguins comes to mind.) Conversely, when the men get their own suit in a certain color, they tend to look hot. 
    Similar to LNixon above, my male attendants wore black suits from their own closets. I can't tell in pictures they aren't matching. Hell, I didn't even notice one guy decided to wear the vest (3 piece suit). We bought them matching ties and they wore properly fitted outfits. Another party comes to mind where they were told gray. All the grays weren't the same, but you end up with a wonderfully textured look rather than some matte wash of color in your photos. 
    I also know a guy who had to wear a rented gray suit in a trendy slim cut and the pants split on the butt. Those photos were hilarious. No idea what he did after photos for the reception but yeah... split pants. 


    One of the things that swayed DH towards buying a suit for our wedding, was when he was Best Man at a friends wedding, they rented suits from Moore's. His vest was so large (of course they didn't have a smaller size) we had to pin it for him to wear the day of- otherwise it looked ridiculous- flapping out behind. And the suit rentals were just over $200 each. I think buying a half decent suit is a much better investment (and actually an investment, versus a bridesmaid dress).

    Not exactly the same scenario as OP, as they are buying suits, but another vote for letting the guys pick their own suit in a chosen colour.
    OurWildKingdom
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2016
    SP29 said:
    Ok, whoa, I think we can be a little bit kinder to the khaki suits of the world.
    No, no we can't!

    It's an ugly color that looks horrible on a lot of people, whether it's the color of a suit or a pair of pants, because it's an unforgiving color.

    Sorrynotsorry, khaki is not for everyone. :-P


    @PrettyGirlLost - The suit that the GM picked out was a very slim fit medium/dark grey suit, with tapered pants that are almost snug-looking through the ankles, and very narrow lapels. FI is not super-skinny or athletic, so that cut of suit would be really unflattering on him, and probably on his other GM too.   So then your FI should pick a cut that is flattering for him, even if it differs from what the GM picked.  It will look just fine.  The men don't need to be in matching colored, matching cut suits.  I hate slim fit because it looks ridiculous on a lot of men- if they have a muscular build, broad shoulders, big thighs, etc.

    I was more frustrated by the GM's push to switch to a way more expensive super-trendy cut suit than the different/darker color in and of itself, because a) FI probably wouldn't look good in it and b) it's not a good investment if it'll look dated in 2-3 years. 


    @levioosa -  My understanding of wedding party etiquette is that you don't accept unless you're willing to show up sober and wearing whatever the bride and groom asked you to buy/rent. When I was a BM for my friend's wedding, I wasn't a huge fan of the dress color, but it was what she wanted so I smiled, told her i loved it, and then stuck it in the back of my closet after the reception. It wasn't wasted money if it made her feel happy and supported for the day. I've never expected to be able to wear a BM dress a second time or that the bride/groom would change their color or style preference based on what i liked best or what was easiest/cheapest for me. 

    Why is there a double standard that the BMs just go along with it (barring major logistical issues like dress not available in their size, the girls falling out of a strapless neckline, etc) but everyone seems to think that groomsmen should be able to wear things they already own or buy wardrobe staples?

    There isn't a dbl standard, at least not with most of us here.  We advocate that BM's should be able to pick a dress style and cut that is flattering to their body type and complexion, or that they personally feel good wearing, and that's in their budget.  Brides can pick the color, but actually choosing a coordinating color palette and letting the BMs choose any style dress in one of several colors is even better.

    It doesn't matter how much you love the bride, it fucking sucks to be the center of attention and to have to pose in 50000 pictures in a dress that you personally feel looks like shit on you, whether it's the cut or the color that is unflattering.

    Spending $100+ on a dress I will never wear again IS a colossal waste of money. . . I don't care how much I love the bride or how happy she was on her wedding day.  And the point of me serving as a BM is not to "support" the bride- no one needs support for a happy occasion.  You celebrate with people on happy occasions.

    BMs are ceremonial roles of honor, and that honor is conferred BY the Bride TO the BM; The Bride is honoring the BMs by giving them that title.  The BMs are not honoring the bride in any way.



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    ahoyweddingSP29[Deleted User]
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards