I'm sorry

CMGragain · April 2016

Full moon last night?

Bkess14 · April 2016

Well I'm sure no one wanted to hear from me again, but I wanted to clear a few things up so you don't go on thinking there's one more horrible person living in this world.

I sincerely apologize for the (now looking back) awful replies I made. Sometimes life gets the best of you and you have bad days now and then. Clearly today was the day I look like an ass online.

I tried to delete the post because I didn't feel like the negativity was helping anyone, found that I wasn't able to. My mistake.

I, in no way shape or form was trying to sound bratty or full of myself. There were some totally legitimate replies that I felt were kind. Others clearly not so much, thus me getting very defensive. Stupid of me to let them affect me, but they did. Again I'm so sorry for the junk I said. Totally uncalled for, and not worth it. I know it was just 1 day out of a lifetime. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband more now than ever.

Regarding the mental health snippit: clearly not the best choice of words. I was only trying to convey that people who are struggling with issues would not fare well after reading some of those nastier comments (albeit, yes I chose to write the post to begin with). Also some of my sarcasm clearly did not read the same in others. I would never go punch someone in the face, I'm a wuss.

Yes it still upsets me that it wasn't my "perfect" day. And yes I understand that regardless, something else would probably have bothered me. It upsets me more that my parents had to pay double for my wedding than what we originally budgeted (which is why we looked into a lawsuit)

I would never try to demean someone who clearly has had their share of struggles(gay marriage laws, family members not being able to attend, husband/wife in the hospital) by "throwing a fit". Again clearly did not come across as I intended.

I assure everyone that I'm perfect mentally stable so for the people who showed genuine concern, I thank you. My goal from the post was to try and get some advice from people who have gone through a similar experience.

At the end of the day I was able to get married. It was perfect in its own way.

And be at the end of today, I sounded like a total bitch who deserved all the nasty comments I got. But I'm not a bad person, just had a bad day.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week.

CMGragain · April 2016

OP, I admire you for taking responsibility for your posts.

OurWildKingdom · April 2016

Apology accepted. Stick around and get to know us.

OurWildKingdom · April 2016

CMGragain said:

OP, I admire you for taking responsibility for your posts.

So do I.

And yes, @CMGragain, it was indeed a full moon this weekend.

bleve0821 · April 2016

OurWildKingdom said:

CMGragain said:

OP, I admire you for taking responsibility for your posts.

So do I.

Ditto.

mollybarker11 · April 2016

Bkess14 said:

Just just have to say thank you to all of you super awesome people who replied to my post. I was really hoping someone would tear me down on the Internet. I'm really glad I'm not suicidal or these replies might have upset me enough to actually do something awful. Please think about the shit you say to others on the Internet, you don't know what someone is going through. People should be allowed to vent and express their minds without being inferred that they are less of a person for doing so. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

Maybe I am just being sensitive after this whole awful paragraph but are you implying that people who need counselling are "less of a person"? I find that incredibly offensive.

Also lol that you are clearly following this venue on social media because how else would you be seeing people repeatedly posting pictures of their weddings there. This reads like a bad breakup story.

themosthappy91 · April 2016

Thanks for coming back and taking ownership, OP- it really does sound like you were worked up when you posted and just having a bad day in general.

Confession time- maybe 3-4 months ago, I randomly had a crying breakdown about my wedding, which also took place in 2014 (so it had been over a year at that point). I randomly just got really sad about things I wish I'd done differently, people I wish I'd included and the fact that in general I (hopefully) will never get to have that experience of a wedding day again.

The whole world makes such a huge deal of having a perfect and special wedding day and in that moment it randomly got to me- I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes wedding day regrets weigh heavier on women (maybe men too?) than they'd care to admit because of that fact. We can understand rationally the stakes are waaaaay overinflated by the wedding industry, social media culture etc., but sometimes emotions just aren't rational.

Bkess14 · April 2016

mollybarker11 said:

Bkess14 said:

Just just have to say thank you to all of you super awesome people who replied to my post. I was really hoping someone would tear me down on the Internet. I'm really glad I'm not suicidal or these replies might have upset me enough to actually do something awful. Please think about the shit you say to others on the Internet, you don't know what someone is going through. People should be allowed to vent and express their minds without being inferred that they are less of a person for doing so. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

Maybe I am just being sensitive after this whole awful paragraph but are you implying that people who need counselling are "less of a person"? I find that incredibly offensive.

Also lol that you are clearly following this venue on social media because how else would you be seeing people repeatedly posting pictures of their weddings there. This reads like a bad breakup story.

Please read the post I just made a few minutes ago. Basically made a fool of myself.

and no that's not what I was saying. I meant it totally differently than how you read it. But it's water under the bridge at this point. People who are in counseling/need counseling are no different than anyone else.

also no I'm not following them on social
media. I live in a very small town and literall 8 people I and friends with on Facebook have had their weddings there. So I see it a lot, lol.

Bkess14 · April 2016

themosthappy91 said:

Thanks for coming back and taking ownership, OP- it really does sound like you were worked up when you posted and just having a bad day in general.

Confession time- maybe 3-4 months ago, I randomly had a crying breakdown about my wedding, which also took place in 2014 (so it had been over a year at that point). I randomly just got really sad about things I wish I'd done differently, people I wish I'd included and the fact that in general I (hopefully) will never get to have that experience of a wedding day again.

The whole world makes such a huge deal of having a perfect and special wedding day and in that moment it randomly got to me- I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes wedding day regrets weigh heavier on women (maybe men too?) than they'd care to admit because of that fact. We can understand rationally the stakes are waaaaay overinflated by the wedding industry, social media culture etc., but sometimes emotions just aren't rational.

Thank you. I agree it's just 1 day, but we get so wrapped up in it. So emotional. Really dumb stuff.

And yes, bad bad week/weekend. But tomorrow's a new day!

holyguacamole79 · April 2016

OP, you get mad props for coming back and owning things.

When I first read your post, I thought of a situation that left me very hurt. Long story short, I was building a house and got screwed over. I found myself going to court and moving in with my parents. The anger was crazy strong. I was furious at the builderight. I couldn't drive near the neighborhood without tensing up. That was 11 years ago. I passed by the neighborhood recently and smiled. I hadn't thought about it in years, and it was good to know that time does heal wounds. I do echo the others, though. If this anger is consuming you as much as you said, please see a therapist to help with these thoughts.

kimmiinthemitten · April 2016

As one of the harsher critics to your post, thanks for coming back, further sharing your thoughts, and being open to our criticism.

I don't think anyone disagrees that your scenario sucks. We spend so much time and money planning our wedding that it's hard to not take every detail personally. However, at the end of the day you are married and that is the sole purpose, which means regardless of where it was held, it was a success!

It takes a lot of guts to own your shit, so kudos to you! I agree with the others, stick around. There's lots of old married hags in these parts:).

AddieCake · April 2016

Good on you coming back and owning your shit, OP. Stick around!

crowsgirl15 · April 2016

Bkess14 said:

I assure everyone that I'm perfect mentally stable so for the people who showed genuine concern, I thank you. My goal from the post was to try and get some advice from people who have gone through a similar experience.

Giving you my own little standing O for coming back and responding. I, for one, don't think your feelings (as stated here) are invalid. I just thinking you're allowing them to get the better of you.

Counseling isn't just for people who are unstable. It can be a really helpful tool for people hanging on to something, or even dealing with outside forces that have stirred up certain feelings in them. It seems like counseling would be the perfect tool to help you get over this, because you have been trying on your own, it's been two years, and it's still fresh.

All that being said, your frustration is, of course, legitimate. It sucks majorly that things didn't go as planned. I feel for you, chica.

monkeysip · April 2016

crowsgirl15 said:
Giving you my own little standing O for coming back and responding. I, for one, don't think your feelings (as stated here) are invalid. I just thinking you're allowing them to get the better of you.

Counseling isn't just for people who are unstable. It can be a really helpful tool for people hanging on to something, or even dealing with outside forces that have stirred up certain feelings in them. It seems like counseling would be the perfect tool to help you get over this, because you have been trying on your own, it's been two years, and it's still fresh.

All that being said, your frustration is, of course, legitimate. It sucks majorly that things didn't go as planned. I feel for you, chica.

QFT. Seriously, we don't need to stigmatize counseling. We all could benefit from it.

And I agree with the above ^^... your feelings aren't invalid, you just let them get out of control. It's ok.

ernursej · April 2016

Props for coming back. That takes a lot! I would also like to point out that counselling isn't for those that are unstable. I really think that counselling offers a neutral party who can help people reframe things or find a new path. Some of the greatest minds and leaders have gone through counselling.

Stick around, I think you'll find some great Knotties to enchange thoughts with and to support other brides who are looking for advice.

drunkenwitch · April 2016

Op, that took a lots guts, maturity and self awareness to come back and say that. I hope you stick around.

mollybarker11 · April 2016

Bkess14 said:

mollybarker11 said:

Bkess14 said:

Just just have to say thank you to all of you super awesome people who replied to my post. I was really hoping someone would tear me down on the Internet. I'm really glad I'm not suicidal or these replies might have upset me enough to actually do something awful. Please think about the shit you say to others on the Internet, you don't know what someone is going through. People should be allowed to vent and express their minds without being inferred that they are less of a person for doing so. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

Maybe I am just being sensitive after this whole awful paragraph but are you implying that people who need counselling are "less of a person"? I find that incredibly offensive.

Also lol that you are clearly following this venue on social media because how else would you be seeing people repeatedly posting pictures of their weddings there. This reads like a bad breakup story.

Please read the post I just made a few minutes ago. Basically made a fool of myself.

and no that's not what I was saying. I meant it totally differently than how you read it. But it's water under the bridge at this point. People who are in counseling/need counseling are no different than anyone else.

also no I'm not following them on social
media. I live in a very small town and literall 8 people I and friends with on Facebook have had their weddings there. So I see it a lot, lol.

We must've posted around the same time, I didn't see that one at the time! Good on you for coming back to clarify things.

tigerlily6 · April 2016

Thanks for coming back to explain, OP. Bad days are okay to have, we've all been there. Respect.

MairePoppy · April 2016

Thank you for coming back. I understand your disappointment with your former wedding venue. Maybe we should start a wedding disasters thread so you will see you're not alone?

LondonLisa · April 2016

I really appreciate you coming back. We all have bad days. But that being said, going to speak to someone about this isn't a sign of instability or being "crazy", but rather a way to get coping strategies to get over the rage and anger you still feel 2 years later. It is a totally normal thing to do when you yourself recognise there is a problem.

Being so angry you want to punch someone in the face is exhausting. Bursting into tears at the sight of a place is exhausting. You recognise that it isn't healthy and you don't want to feel this way. I genuinely think your situation with this 1st venue is rubbish, and I am sorry that it happened. But speaking to a professional will help you cope and get over it so you can remember your wedding as a happy time, and not this thorn in your side.

Going to speak with someone is a sign of strength, not of weakness. It shows incredible strength to recognise a situation isn't the way we want it and that we are going to actively come up with strategies to change the way we approach it.

laurad75 · April 2016

Also impressed with the OP and really happy to see how cool everyone is being. Many of us have taken a mis-step here before learning the ropes.

My original wedding venue closed 9 weeks before my wedding day. I found out that it closed via the internet about 7 hours after I put my invites in the mail. After one sleepless night I decided that this would not effect the priorities of the day, mainly that FI and I get married and we throw a great party. Plus it makes for a great story in my otherwise rather boring and uneventful wedding planning.

The wedding is a week from Saturday and I really like the new venue but its definitely not my original 'vision'. We are making the absolute best of it and focused on those priorities. The day is going to be amazing.

OP - I hope you can make peace with the wedding you were able to have and focus on your life with your husband now and your future. Maybe getting it off your chest was the first step to that.

thisismynickname2 · April 2016

To OP.
I also got married in September of 2014. One of my vendors willfully screwed us over. I was upset. I was bitter. It affected my sleep. It was a topic of conversation for months in my family. I posted here about my inability to get over it because I knew holding on to the negativity was unhealthy. And for the record, my wedding was fantastic.
I also used legal recourse and won (a long process, but it worked).
But let me emphasize, my vendor willfully screwed us over and broke contract. That's what got me, the willful part, like how can anyone do that to a couple.

Your situation was out of that venue's hands. A PP already said building codes are a huge deal. They probably did get things fixed in time to host weddings right after yours.
It blows. And it's probably too late to do anything legal but only a legal professional can tell you that. Only a legal professional can tell you if what happened has recourse under your contract.
But no matter what, you have to focus on the fact that you got married, you have someone who loves you, and sometimes life doesn't work out as planned. Planning your party somewhere else isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I hope you can move on from the negativity.

laurad75 · April 2016

thisismynickname said:

To OP.
I also got married in September of 2014. One of my vendors willfully screwed us over. I was upset. I was bitter. It affected my sleep. It was a topic of conversation for months in my family. I posted here about my inability to get over it because I knew holding on to the negativity was unhealthy. And for the record, my wedding was fantastic.
I also used legal recourse and won (a long process, but it worked).
But let me emphasize, my vendor willfully screwed us over and broke contract. That's what got me, the willful part, like how can anyone do that to a couple.

Your situation was out of that venue's hands. A PP already said building codes are a huge deal. They probably did get things fixed in time to host weddings right after yours.
It blows. And it's probably too late to do anything legal but only a legal professional can tell you that. Only a legal professional can tell you if what happened has recourse under your contract.
But no matter what, you have to focus on the fact that you got married, you have someone who loves you, and sometimes life doesn't work out as planned. Planning your party somewhere else isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I hope you can move on from the negativity.

I remember this story. I went back to read the post but couldn't find what ultimately happened. Did you ever get the rest of your photos? Is she still in business?

thisismynickname2 · April 2016

@laurad75 we did get our photos! She's definitely not in business anymore. She owes the City more fines for consumer fraud than we paid her originally too. The cost of fucking up, I tell ya.

laurad75 · April 2016

thisismynickname said:

@laurad75 we did get our photos! She's definitely not in business anymore. She owes the City more fines for consumer fraud than we paid her originally too. The cost of fucking up, I tell ya.

I'm so happy to hear that it worked out for you.

[Deleted User] · May 2016

Get. Over. It.
If you are so upset that you didn't get to have your dream wedding, even though you ended up with the person you are crazy in love with, save up for a vow renewal and do it how you wanted to in the first place.

holyguacamole79 · May 2016

jgrace8611 said:

Get. Over. It.
If you are so upset that you didn't get to have your dream wedding, even though you ended up with the person you are crazy in love with, save up for a vow renewal and do it how you wanted to in the first place.

Why are you resurrecting an old thread to give bad advice?

InLoveInQueens · May 2016

holyguacamole79 said:

jgrace8611 said:

Get. Over. It.
If you are so upset that you didn't get to have your dream wedding, even though you ended up with the person you are crazy in love with, save up for a vow renewal and do it how you wanted to in the first place.

Why are you resurrecting an old thread to give bad advice?

That seems to be her MO, this isn't the only dead/resolved thread that she's posted on just to be nasty/give bad advice. I get it, being snarky and rude can be fun, but shit's over and done with, she just wants to be mean.

I'm sorry

Re: I'm sorry

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