Break from traditional procession?

madamerwin · May 2016

Wallflower said:

madamerwin said:

This reminds me of a story I heard, either on here or on TV (hate when I can't remember where I heard something): A couple had live butterflies in envelopes that were supposed to go on the underside of each guest's chair to release during the ceremony. The planner screwed up and put the envelopes ON the seats. White envelopes. White chairs. Everyone sat on them.

I think I'm starting to understand the poor response to butterflies at weddings. I had no idea people put them in envelopes to sit waiting for release. That seems really cruel and horrible. Especially tiny envelopes to every guest! I don't think a butterfly would like being cramped in such a small space. It sounds really sad.

I want to say this didn't really happen and I heard about it on TV, but I can't be 100% sure... Hopefully it was not a true story.

lovesclimbing · May 2016

madamerwin said:

Wallflower said:

madamerwin said:

This reminds me of a story I heard, either on here or on TV (hate when I can't remember where I heard something): A couple had live butterflies in envelopes that were supposed to go on the underside of each guest's chair to release during the ceremony. The planner screwed up and put the envelopes ON the seats. White envelopes. White chairs. Everyone sat on them.

I think I'm starting to understand the poor response to butterflies at weddings. I had no idea people put them in envelopes to sit waiting for release. That seems really cruel and horrible. Especially tiny envelopes to every guest! I don't think a butterfly would like being cramped in such a small space. It sounds really sad.

I want to say this didn't really happen and I heard about it on TV, but I can't be 100% sure... Hopefully it was not a true story.

I'm pretty sure that was posted on here because I remember seeing it. I think it was in one of the worst wedding-type threads. Who knows if it was true.

ETA: this thread http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/comment/7794991, about halfway down, someone posted a link to this listicle. http://www.someecards.com/love/weddings/worst-weddings-ever/. It's #3 on the list. Maybe it's real, maybe not. It could easily have been made up, but who knows.

kimmiinthemitten · May 2016

I think your new butterfly plan sounds fine, especially since you know what you're doing and don't intend to change their natural cycle.

However, you've mentioned a few times how excited your friends are. Just a word of caution, yes they might be genuinely excited, or they could be lying to you because they love you and don't want to ruin your vision for your day. I know people who have been flower girls and not minded, and I know people who found it insulting to have an adult in the procession in a role typically reserved for a child. Because you went to them and said "FI doesn't like uneven sides, help me create new honorary postions for you," they may just be going along with it but prefer a more traditional role over a job.

madamerwin · May 2016

lovesclimbing said:

madamerwin said:

Wallflower said:

madamerwin said:

This reminds me of a story I heard, either on here or on TV (hate when I can't remember where I heard something): A couple had live butterflies in envelopes that were supposed to go on the underside of each guest's chair to release during the ceremony. The planner screwed up and put the envelopes ON the seats. White envelopes. White chairs. Everyone sat on them.

I think I'm starting to understand the poor response to butterflies at weddings. I had no idea people put them in envelopes to sit waiting for release. That seems really cruel and horrible. Especially tiny envelopes to every guest! I don't think a butterfly would like being cramped in such a small space. It sounds really sad.

I want to say this didn't really happen and I heard about it on TV, but I can't be 100% sure... Hopefully it was not a true story.

I'm pretty sure that was posted on here because I remember seeing it. I think it was in one of the worst wedding-type threads. Who knows if it was true.

ETA: this thread http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/comment/7794991, about halfway down, someone posted a link to this listicle. http://www.someecards.com/love/weddings/worst-weddings-ever/. It's #3 on the list. Maybe it's real, maybe not. It could easily have been made up, but who knows.

THANK YOU! It really bugs me when I can't remember where I heard a story. I do still hope this was an embellishment or something, and that hundreds of butterflies were not squished to death.

Sherbie25 · May 2016

Wallflower said:

southernbelle0915 said:

"I RAISE butterflies. They are released into the wild after coming to adulthood."
So are you timing their metamorphosis so that they come into adulthood on your wedding day? Likely not. You would be holding adults in cages until your wedding day so that you can have a pretty butterfly release (i.e. they are props for your wedding). Or collecting them later so you can have a pretty release. Either way, it's messed up. I would think someone who raises butterflies would understand that...

Actually, if you are experienced in raising butterflies and have many going through the metamorphis procces it's easy to have a few that will be hatching on the wedding day. So no, there won't be just adults hanging around waiting.

Also, if none of my butterflies hatch on my wedding day? Then there just won't be a release at all, since there are none to release. My outside venue is also a great place to release as it has plenty for butterflies to feed on.

I love butterflies and enjoy raising them to help bolster the dwindling numbers. I don't really see why releasing hatchlings on the day if they hatch is an issue. They are special to me and I'd be happy they had a part during our wedding.

There are also no butterfly-phobes in our invited guests.

There must be a species called Ragretilis Specialsnowflakeolis

Sherbie25 · May 2016

madamerwin said:

Wallflower said:

I do want to note that I'm taking all of your comments and points very seriously, otherwise I wouldn't have asked.

I have considered talking to my fiancé about changing my girls to stand up with me. They are so excited about throwing petals and carrying the rings that they will probably still do that no matter what. It would feel mean to take that run away from them. I'd also like to point at they are my bridesmaids and don't have the title of ringbearer or flower girl. They are just bridesmaid with extra fun added on.

Now that I've explained more thoroughly my butterfly raising and possible idea of release, I'd welcome more thoughts on it. I'm not set on the idea, even though I love the thought of my beloved butterfly's being included. I've also considered a display cage where, once they are all hatched and ready for flight, I open the door to let them leave on their whim.

Thanks again for your comments. The more constructive, the better!

Honestly, I personally see nothing wrong with releasing butterflies if they hatch on the day of your wedding (though, like PPs I don't think you should keep adults captive for days if none hatch on the day of).

As for @ShesSoCold mentioning guests being afraid of/grossed out by butterflies - unless OP is releasing a horde of them, this seems like a silly thing to be worried about... I mean, if guests are terrified of a couple of butterflies to the point that they will freak out or be terribly upset if they see one, do they just never go outside? Because butterflies do exist in nature and may in fact be in the area regardless of whether she releases a few. Granted, if she released dozens of them I can see that being a potential issue, because then they would be landing everywhere. But if a couple hatch on the morning of the wedding, I really do not see the harm in this plan. Not to my taste, but not something I feel is inherently a terrible idea.

not if they have a phobia. What's silly to you is terrifying to others

kahluakoala · May 2016

What if one of your guests has a phobia of hydrangeas or sparklers? People generally don't think about these things because they're not exactly common. The OP raises butterflies and talks about it often with family / friends. I'm sure no one has a secret butterfly phobia in that crew.

They're butterflies! They're not snakes or spiders or something people are commonly afraid of.

madamerwin · May 2016

Sherbie25 said:

madamerwin said:

Wallflower said:

I do want to note that I'm taking all of your comments and points very seriously, otherwise I wouldn't have asked.

I have considered talking to my fiancé about changing my girls to stand up with me. They are so excited about throwing petals and carrying the rings that they will probably still do that no matter what. It would feel mean to take that run away from them. I'd also like to point at they are my bridesmaids and don't have the title of ringbearer or flower girl. They are just bridesmaid with extra fun added on.

Now that I've explained more thoroughly my butterfly raising and possible idea of release, I'd welcome more thoughts on it. I'm not set on the idea, even though I love the thought of my beloved butterfly's being included. I've also considered a display cage where, once they are all hatched and ready for flight, I open the door to let them leave on their whim.

Thanks again for your comments. The more constructive, the better!

Honestly, I personally see nothing wrong with releasing butterflies if they hatch on the day of your wedding (though, like PPs I don't think you should keep adults captive for days if none hatch on the day of).

As for @ShesSoCold mentioning guests being afraid of/grossed out by butterflies - unless OP is releasing a horde of them, this seems like a silly thing to be worried about... I mean, if guests are terrified of a couple of butterflies to the point that they will freak out or be terribly upset if they see one, do they just never go outside? Because butterflies do exist in nature and may in fact be in the area regardless of whether she releases a few. Granted, if she released dozens of them I can see that being a potential issue, because then they would be landing everywhere. But if a couple hatch on the morning of the wedding, I really do not see the harm in this plan. Not to my taste, but not something I feel is inherently a terrible idea.

not if they have a phobia. What's silly to you is terrifying to others

Yes, a horde of butterflies would be scary to someone afraid of them. Read the whole sentence in context, though. The likelihood of someone being terrified by butterflies is relatively slim, and unless the OP is releasing a shitload of them, a couple of butterflies potentially scaring someone IS a silly thing to worry about. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

ShesSoCold · May 2016

KahluaKoala said:

What if one of your guests has a phobia of hydrangeas or sparklers? People generally don't think about these things because they're not exactly common. The OP raises butterflies and talks about it often with family / friends. I'm sure no one has a secret butterfly phobia in that crew.

They're butterflies! They're not snakes or spiders or something people are commonly afraid of.

I'm not trying to convince you to dislike butterflies, but they're large flying insects. Generally large flying insects are disliked by people. They're not that different from spiders. If a spider or cricket or June bug creeps you (general you) out, I don't see how a butterfly doesn't.

I think OP's idea is the only time ever that I think a butterfly release is fine though.

ILoveBeachMusic · May 2016

ShesSoCold said:

KahluaKoala said:

What if one of your guests has a phobia of hydrangeas or sparklers? People generally don't think about these things because they're not exactly common. The OP raises butterflies and talks about it often with family / friends. I'm sure no one has a secret butterfly phobia in that crew.

They're butterflies! They're not snakes or spiders or something people are commonly afraid of.

I'm not trying to convince you to dislike butterflies, but they're large flying insects. Generally large flying insects are disliked by people. They're not that different from spiders. If a spider or cricket or June bug creeps you (general you) out, I don't see how a butterfly doesn't.
I think OP's idea is the only time ever that I think a butterfly release is fine though.

I disagree with this. I hate spiders and most insects. Butterflies don't bother me a bit! I'm sure some people are frightened by them though. OP seems to know her crowd pretty well so it shouldn't be an issue.

madamerwin · May 2016

ShesSoCold said:

KahluaKoala said:

What if one of your guests has a phobia of hydrangeas or sparklers? People generally don't think about these things because they're not exactly common. The OP raises butterflies and talks about it often with family / friends. I'm sure no one has a secret butterfly phobia in that crew.

They're butterflies! They're not snakes or spiders or something people are commonly afraid of.

I'm not trying to convince you to dislike butterflies, but they're large flying insects. Generally large flying insects are disliked by people. They're not that different from spiders. If a spider or cricket or June bug creeps you (general you) out, I don't see how a butterfly doesn't.
I think OP's idea is the only time ever that I think a butterfly release is fine though.

SIB
I dislike ants, moths, potato bugs (fucking disgusting), dragonflies, wasps, and large, fast-moving spiders, but butterflies are fine by me. Maybe it's the pretty colors, or the fact that they don't bite/sting, or that they won't crawl into my mouth when I sleep, but butterflies don't bother me. You're right that in theory they're no different from other flying insects, but many/most people perceive them as less threatening. There's no logic, but there you have it.

Break from traditional procession?

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