I see absolutely nothing wrong with saying "dinner and dancing" to follow or "cake and punch reception" to follow. Can't think of any etiquette rule it would break.
My family is Catholic. Most have had 1,2 or 3 O'clock ceremonies, immediately followed by cocktail hour, four course dinner and dancing. We know there's going to be a meal, but some of the guests might not know that it will be 4 -6 hour reception and you probably shouldn't eat first. And you might need to let the babysitter know. If it's a cake and punch reception, it's good to know that, also. My family members wouldn't know that based on the time of the reception.
There's another reason not to put it on an invitation...it opens the door to opinions and judgment from the recipients about the entertainment you're having. Gracious guests will accept your hospitality without comment, schedule as they need to around it, and get anything you aren't providing on their own time and dime. Nongracious guests will complain and bitch because you're doing such-and-such, and it's just so wrong!
Any guests who think the information provided in an invitation is open to criticism or discussion are absolutely rude. I suspect those are the types of people who will complain regardless of the info provided on the invitation.
I agree that they'll probably complain no matter what, but why feed their need?
If you don't tell them that a full meal will follow then they may see the time and think that they need to eat a full meal.
If all guests thought that my 2 PM ceremony meant that our reception was just cake and punch then they would have shown up to our reception and thought that we over-fed them.
I don't think it's necessary to explain all types of what you're doing at the reception but in this case guests knew that at 4 PM, they were stepping into a cocktail hour followed by an early dinner and it allowed for them to plan their lunches appropriately.
Likewise, I'd WANT to know if it's just cake and punch so I can show up with a fuller stomach. Otherwise I'm far more likely to leave the reception early for no other reason than I'm reaching the need for more food.
Those that will complain anyway will find a reason to complain about anything. One of my guests thought that we picked a bad venue before he ate a bite of anything. Those that can't be pleased won't be pleased regardless of action. Those who can be pleased by planning will appreciate that they knew we were serving a meal and that they got to choose in advance.
I agree that they'll probably complain no matter what, but why feed their need?
If you don't tell them that a full meal will follow then they may see the time and think that they need to eat a full meal.
If all guests thought that my 2 PM ceremony meant that our reception was just cake and punch then they would have shown up to our reception and thought that we over-fed them.
I don't think it's necessary to explain all types of what you're doing at the reception but in this case guests knew that at 4 PM, they were stepping into a cocktail hour followed by an early dinner and it allowed for them to plan their lunches appropriately.
Likewise, I'd WANT to know if it's just cake and punch so I can show up with a fuller stomach. Otherwise I'm far more likely to leave the reception early for no other reason than I'm reaching the need for more food.
Those that will complain anyway will find a reason to complain about anything. One of my guests thought that we picked a bad venue before he ate a bite of anything. Those that can't be pleased won't be pleased regardless of action. Those who can be pleased by planning will appreciate that they knew we were serving a meal and that they got to choose in advance.
I think you misunderstood my post. What I meant was, if people are going to complain anyway and will find a reason, why give them that reason?
I agree that they'll probably complain no matter what, but why feed their need?
If you don't tell them that a full meal will follow then they may see the time and think that they need to eat a full meal.
If all guests thought that my 2 PM ceremony meant that our reception was just cake and punch then they would have shown up to our reception and thought that we over-fed them.
I don't think it's necessary to explain all types of what you're doing at the reception but in this case guests knew that at 4 PM, they were stepping into a cocktail hour followed by an early dinner and it allowed for them to plan their lunches appropriately.
Likewise, I'd WANT to know if it's just cake and punch so I can show up with a fuller stomach. Otherwise I'm far more likely to leave the reception early for no other reason than I'm reaching the need for more food.
Those that will complain anyway will find a reason to complain about anything. One of my guests thought that we picked a bad venue before he ate a bite of anything. Those that can't be pleased won't be pleased regardless of action. Those who can be pleased by planning will appreciate that they knew we were serving a meal and that they got to choose in advance.
I think you misunderstood my post. What I meant was, if people are going to complain anyway and will find a reason, why give them that reason?
My point is that in my own example, I included a response card that requested a meal choice of my guests which conveyed information that a meal was going to be served. It allowed them to plan.
In my circle, I'd expect a meal regardless of the time of day. So if there was no note about the meal request, I'd go expecting to eat lunch or dinner. If I showed up on an empty stomach to find that there was no food then I don't know that I'd think poorly of the hosts but I would think I'd have to leave if I was super hungry.
So while I agree that one should not put "dinner and dancing" on the invitation itself, it makes far more sense to include the amount of food that is being served somewhere in the contents of the invitation so the guests are able to plan.
I was sitting here wondering who would have the nerve to complain on seeing there will be 'dinner and dancing' following the ceremony. Then I remembered my cousin who made multiple calls to my daughter to quiz her about the ingredients in the meal choices on the RSVP card. When she was told the chef would provide gluten-free meals for her and her daughter another round of calls ensued. She didn't trust the host to provide a proper meal. She did the same thing to the shower host. There was that required dinner selection card included with the invitation for the caterer, for the wedding. The shower was a buffet, so no card needed. *The refreshments and entertainment weren't mentioned on the actual invitation card. My point is that complainers don't need anyone to provide them with an excuse to do what they do.
I'm still waiting for an actual etiquette reason not to put basic information on the invite.
1. Basic information is always included on the invitation: who, what, when and where. Reception food and dancing is NOT basic information. It is the wedding ceremony that is the focus herre, not the reception.
2. For the guest to question what is being offered at any party or wedding is rude.
3. For today's big, expensive weddings, "Dinner and dancing" sounds like bragging, especially to someone who had a simple cake and punch reception.. "No Alcohol" or "Open Bar" should not be on the invitation, either. The idea is that the guest attends the wedding to see the couple be married. The couple then greets the guests and offers them refreshment (food and drink). To question what kind of food will be available is rude, unless the hosts ask on the reply card, such as menu pre-selections or dietary restrictions. Whether or not there will be dancing has no bearing on the way the guests should prepare for the day.
"Reception to follow" covers everything. This has been the standard etiquette for more than 100 years. I don't see this one changing, though it is frequently broken, usually because the person who words the invitation is ignorant of the practice.
I'm still waiting for an actual etiquette reason not to put basic information on the invite.
1. Basic information is always included on the invitation: who, what, when and where. Reception food and dancing is NOT basic information. It is the wedding ceremony that is the focus herre, not the reception.
2. For the guest to question what is being offered at any party or wedding is rude.
3. For today's big, expensive weddings, "Dinner and dancing" sounds like bragging, especially to someone who had a simple cake and punch reception.. "No Alcohol" or "Open Bar" should not be on the invitation, either. The idea is that the guest attends the wedding to see the couple be married. The couple then greets the guests and offers them refreshment (food and drink). To question what kind of food will be available is rude, unless the hosts ask on the reply card, such as menu pre-selections or dietary restrictions. Whether or not there will be dancing has no bearing on the way the guests should prepare for the day.
"Reception to follow" covers everything. This has been the standard etiquette for more than 100 years. I don't see this one changing, though it is frequently broken, usually because the person who words the invitation is ignorant of the practice.
To the bold red, what if the event is a hosted meal that is a buffet and involves no pre-selection of a meal of the guests and yet the event is occurring at a time that one could think a meal isn't offered?
And now a guest calling to ask, "Hey, should we plan to eat a big lunch or a small lunch?" is rude. But if you plan a 2 PM wedding and a 4 PM reception with a meal to follow that doesn't involve a pre-selected meal, should your guests expect the meal? If the guests don't eat the meal, are they rude for not eating what's provided because they were full? Were the hosts rude to serve a meal that's akin to the time that my family serves a Sunday or holiday dinner?
I'm sorry but I think that it's absolute bullshit to say that it's rude to state the type of reception that you're having when we're just talking about logistics and planning.
I agree that they'll probably complain no matter what, but why feed their need?
If you don't tell them that a full meal will follow then they may see the time and think that they need to eat a full meal.
If all guests thought that my 2 PM ceremony meant that our reception was just cake and punch then they would have shown up to our reception and thought that we over-fed them.
I don't think it's necessary to explain all types of what you're doing at the reception but in this case guests knew that at 4 PM, they were stepping into a cocktail hour followed by an early dinner and it allowed for them to plan their lunches appropriately.
Likewise, I'd WANT to know if it's just cake and punch so I can show up with a fuller stomach. Otherwise I'm far more likely to leave the reception early for no other reason than I'm reaching the need for more food.
Those that will complain anyway will find a reason to complain about anything. One of my guests thought that we picked a bad venue before he ate a bite of anything. Those that can't be pleased won't be pleased regardless of action. Those who can be pleased by planning will appreciate that they knew we were serving a meal and that they got to choose in advance.
I think you misunderstood my post. What I meant was, if people are going to complain anyway and will find a reason, why give them that reason?
My point is that in my own example, I included a response card that requested a meal choice of my guests which conveyed information that a meal was going to be served. It allowed them to plan.
In my circle, I'd expect a meal regardless of the time of day. So if there was no note about the meal request, I'd go expecting to eat lunch or dinner. If I showed up on an empty stomach to find that there was no food then I don't know that I'd think poorly of the hosts but I would think I'd have to leave if I was super hungry.
So while I agree that one should not put "dinner and dancing" on the invitation itself, it makes far more sense to include the amount of food that is being served somewhere in the contents of the invitation so the guests are able to plan.
Unfortunately, many things that would make sense in invitations are things strict etiquette doesn't allow.
In this particular case I think the information could be provided by word of mouth or electronically - just not in the invitation.
I'm still waiting for an actual etiquette reason not to put basic information on the invite.
1. Basic information is always included on the invitation: who, what, when and where. Reception food and dancing is NOT basic information. It is the wedding ceremony that is the focus herre, not the reception.
2. For the guest to question what is being offered at any party or wedding is rude.
3. For today's big, expensive weddings, "Dinner and dancing" sounds like bragging, especially to someone who had a simple cake and punch reception.. "No Alcohol" or "Open Bar" should not be on the invitation, either. The idea is that the guest attends the wedding to see the couple be married. The couple then greets the guests and offers them refreshment (food and drink). To question what kind of food will be available is rude, unless the hosts ask on the reply card, such as menu pre-selections or dietary restrictions. Whether or not there will be dancing has no bearing on the way the guests should prepare for the day.
"Reception to follow" covers everything. This has been the standard etiquette for more than 100 years. I don't see this one changing, though it is frequently broken, usually because the person who words the invitation is ignorant of the practice.
This explanation makes a lot of sense. You can always let people know the particulars when they RSVP.
To the bold red, what if the event is a hosted meal that is a buffet and involves no pre-selection of a meal of the guests and yet the event is occurring at a time that one could think a meal isn't offered?
And now a guest calling to ask, "Hey, should we plan to eat a big lunch or a small lunch?" is rude. But if you plan a 2 PM wedding and a 4 PM reception with a meal to follow that doesn't involve a pre-selected meal, should your guests expect the meal? If the guests don't eat the meal, are they rude for not eating what's provided because they were full? Were the hosts rude to serve a meal that's akin to the time that my family serves a Sunday or holiday dinner?
I'm sorry but I think that it's absolute bullshit to say that it's rude to state the type of reception that you're having when we're just talking about logistics and planning.
Woah! Do you know my MIL? She certainly thinks it's rude and very insulting to not eat the refreshments that the host provides. Saying, 'No thank you, I ate before I came to see you,' would be regarded as an insult. I tried that once and didn't dare do it again.
@OurWildKingdom Usually RSVPs for weddings are by mail. It doesn't make sense to contact the guests after they RSVP to let them know dinner will be served. It looks like you've decided to serve dinner after a head count was taken.
To the bold red, what if the event is a hosted meal that is a buffet and involves no pre-selection of a meal of the guests and yet the event is occurring at a time that one could think a meal isn't offered?
And now a guest calling to ask, "Hey, should we plan to eat a big lunch or a small lunch?" is rude. But if you plan a 2 PM wedding and a 4 PM reception with a meal to follow that doesn't involve a pre-selected meal, should your guests expect the meal? If the guests don't eat the meal, are they rude for not eating what's provided because they were full? Were the hosts rude to serve a meal that's akin to the time that my family serves a Sunday or holiday dinner?
I'm sorry but I think that it's absolute bullshit to say that it's rude to state the type of reception that you're having when we're just talking about logistics and planning.
Woah! Do you know my MIL? She certainly thinks it's rude and very insulting to not eat the refreshments that the host provides. Saying, 'No thank you, I ate before I came to see you,' would be regarded as an insult. I tried that once and didn't dare do it again.
@OurWildKingdom Usually RSVPs for weddings are by mail. It doesn't make sense to contact the guests after they RSVP to let them know dinner will be served. It looks like you've decided to serve dinner after a head count was taken.
Good point, @MairePoppy. I suppose if guests are RSVP-ing (is that a word? It is now!) by phone or e-mail, it would be OK to inform them that way, but you're right, for RSVPs by mail, it wouldn't work.
IMHO, this is the very definition of victimless crime. Let the pearl clenchers be correct while we say dinner and dancing inside envelopes, with no inner envelopes, with address lables. Oh the horror
I understand the etiquette argument, but I'm still telling the people there is dinner on the invitation (the horror!). If someone is seriously going to be offended over something like this they are welcome to check that "decline" box. I can't think of anyone I'm inviting that will even think twice about it. I am not doing an insert for extra info. Only a one-sided invitation and an rsvp card. They will know dinner will follow the ceremony and probably live to tell the story.
omg I just wanted to know what time of day to have a cake and punch wedding lol who decided all these etiquette rules anyway? Why do we still have to follow them? Screw the rules, fuck the rules. Some etiquette rules say that I can't wear pants because I'm a girl. Who chooses what time period these rules come from? Who chooses what rules are okay to break?
I'm having a 30 minute ceremony starting at either 1:30 or 2pm. I'm not paying for a giant packet of information to be sent to 25 people when I can call or text most of them, so I will be saying "Cake and Punch Reception to Follow!" on the invitation. I may decide to get some pretty platters and throw some grocery store food on there for my guests that want a little more than cake (although that's crazy. Even the Beatles said "All you need is cake"..or is that love?). I thank everyone for your advice and opinions, please feel free to continue discussing this as it may still be helpful for other brides that need help.
"Let me give you some advice. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
omg I just wanted to know what time of day to have a cake and punch wedding lol who decided all these etiquette rules anyway? Why do we still have to follow them? Screw the rules, fuck the rules. Some etiquette rules say that I can't wear pants because I'm a girl. Who chooses what time period these rules come from? Who chooses what rules are okay to break?
I'm having a 30 minute ceremony starting at either 1:30 or 2pm. I'm not paying for a giant packet of information to be sent to 25 people when I can call or text most of them, so I will be saying "Cake and Punch Reception to Follow!" on the invitation. I may decide to get some pretty platters and throw some grocery store food on there for my guests that want a little more than cake (although that's crazy. Even the Beatles said "All you need is cake"..or is that love?). I thank everyone for your advice and opinions, please feel free to continue discussing this as it may still be helpful for other brides that need help.
I'm still waiting for an actual etiquette reason not to put basic information on the invite.
The short answer is that there is no etiquette reason not to include a single line stating "Cake and Punch reception to follow" or "Dinner and Dancing to Follow" on the actual invitation.
If a person is going to get his or her panties in a wad at seeing those phrases on an invitation and not an an additional insert card, then they need a hobby or some cognitive behavioral adjustments, but it's not bad hosting to include that info.
Not everyone wants to pay for and send out the 35lb trifold invitation with 101 inserts.
This explanation makes a lot of sense. You can always let people know the particulars when they RSVP.
Uh, no.
I have already called/emailed/FB messaged 100+ people to get their addresses for STDs, then did it all over again to determine their relationship status so I can be sure to invite their SOs, and now I should personally contact all these people all over again after they RSVP?
Or I could have been One and Done with a line on the invitation?
Be prepared to clutch your pearls. . .
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I'm still waiting for an actual etiquette reason not to put basic information on the invite.
The short answer is that there is no etiquette reason not to include a single line stating "Cake and Punch reception to follow" or "Dinner and Dancing to Follow" on the actual invitation.
If a person is going to get his or her panties in a wad at seeing those phrases on an invitation and not an an additional insert card, then they need a hobby or some cognitive behavioral adjustments, but it's not bad hosting to include that info.
Not everyone wants to pay for and send out the 35lb trifold invitation with 101 inserts.
This explanation makes a lot of sense. You can always let people know the particulars when they RSVP.
Uh, no.
I have already called/emailed/FB messaged 100+ people to get their addresses for STDs, then did it all over again to determine their relationship status so I can be sure to invite their SOs, and now I should personally contact all these people all over again after they RSVP?
Or I could have been One and Done with a line on the invitation?
Be prepared to clutch your pearls. . .
That's exactly my point. We invited over 200 people to our wedding. Our response cards included (and were technically bad etiquette) the need for guests to (GASP!) choose their meals.
Are you telling me that if I had a buffet I should have called each person who accepted the invitation to say, "Oh, BTW, we're going to serve a full meal. I hope you eat it."
Give me a break. Of all the etiquette "rules" out there this is one of the most ridiculous I've seen.
So let me get this straight: it is boastful and unseemly to acknowledge serving dinner but lovely and gracious to actually do so? How does that make a modicum of sense? And can you imagine if people followed this "rule" on other invitations? Want to invite some friends over for a dinner party? "Join us at our home at 7 PM for...unspecified events." Is 7 dinner time? It would be for me, but for some 5 is dinner and 7 is non-mealtime. Receive an invite for a late morning event? Should you "just know" it's brunch or should you "just know" that it's not mealtime so no meal will be served?
Look, people just want to know whether to eat ahead of time. Nobody is going to come or not come based on the nature of the food being served, and if there is anyone in your circle who is that gauche you don't need that person in your life anyway. It is a good thing to let people know what to expect.
Still don't understand the etiquette arguments. The type of reception is part of the What. It's just information - information that helps people make decisions about their schedule and day. It doesn't tell someone how to dress or ask for money. It is no way whatsoever rude.
This. If etiquette is about guests' comfort, how the hell does saying "dinner and dancing to follow" make anyone uncomfortable, other than the aforementioned pearl-clutchers? Stating what type of reception you are having is most definitely part of the "what" that an invite can address. We put "dinner and dancing to follow" (well, we actually put "feast and merriment to follow," but whatevs) in tiny print at the bottom corner of the invitation. We didn't have additional inserts or an inner envelope, either.
To @CMGragain 's point that it's boastful: REALLY?! It's boastful to let your guests know you will feed them a full meal? Maybe it's a generational thing, but it seems like you'd be over-sensitive to feel like the hosts are bragging by mentioning a meal will follow.
I put this in the "no harm, no foul" category of etiquette breaches. Personally, I like when invitations include the type of reception to expect, and if something so small offends (general) you, you probably need to develop a thicker skin.
So let me get this straight: it is boastful and unseemly to acknowledge serving dinner but lovely and gracious to actually do so? How does that make a modicum of sense? And can you imagine if people followed this "rule" on other invitations? Want to invite some friends over for a dinner party? "Join us at our home at 7 PM for...unspecified events." Is 7 dinner time? It would be for me, but for some 5 is dinner and 7 is non-mealtime. Receive an invite for a late morning event? Should you "just know" it's brunch or should you "just know" that it's not mealtime so no meal will be served?
Look, people just want to know whether to eat ahead of time. Nobody is going to come or not come based on the nature of the food being served, and if there is anyone in your circle who is that gauche you don't need that person in your life anyway. It is a good thing to let people know what to expect.
I just laughed so hard I snorted at this!
But yes - there are some people in our circle who eat dinner promptly at 6 every evening. H and I tend to eat between 7 and 8:30 most nights.
I think providing meal information is a nice courtesy - especially where people will need additional travel/getting ready time that would make it difficult to eat beforehand.
I'm thinking the pearl-clutchers will have a conniption upon hearing that I'm asking people to RSVP online only.
We have a lot of older relatives and friends who choose not to do much online, so we're putting both our phone numbers and my e-mail address on the invitations. I may even do an RSVP card for those who would prefer that.
@holyguacamole79 my FMIL actually told me she would absolutely not RSVP any other way. The majority of our guests are our age and very familiar with the Internet.
I'm thinking the pearl-clutchers will have a conniption upon hearing that I'm asking people to RSVP online only.
@DrillSergeantCat We're doing the same thing, but likely sending post cards as invitations with a URL to the RSVP & website. Anyone who we suspect is not Internet-enabled (i.e., those with no email address, those who don't own a computer, etc.) gets a hand-written letter with an address and a phone number (and maybe some website print-outs if I'm feeling generous). But this is like ~6 households out of 60? So the times really are a changin'!
@holyguacamole79 my FMIL actually told me she would absolutely not RSVP any other way. The majority of our guests are our age and very familiar with the Internet.
If you're confident that nobody on your guest list would have issues, then there is no issue.
Re: Cake and Punch Reception
If all guests thought that my 2 PM ceremony meant that our reception was just cake and punch then they would have shown up to our reception and thought that we over-fed them.
I don't think it's necessary to explain all types of what you're doing at the reception but in this case guests knew that at 4 PM, they were stepping into a cocktail hour followed by an early dinner and it allowed for them to plan their lunches appropriately.
Likewise, I'd WANT to know if it's just cake and punch so I can show up with a fuller stomach. Otherwise I'm far more likely to leave the reception early for no other reason than I'm reaching the need for more food.
Those that will complain anyway will find a reason to complain about anything. One of my guests thought that we picked a bad venue before he ate a bite of anything. Those that can't be pleased won't be pleased regardless of action. Those who can be pleased by planning will appreciate that they knew we were serving a meal and that they got to choose in advance.
In my circle, I'd expect a meal regardless of the time of day. So if there was no note about the meal request, I'd go expecting to eat lunch or dinner. If I showed up on an empty stomach to find that there was no food then I don't know that I'd think poorly of the hosts but I would think I'd have to leave if I was super hungry.
So while I agree that one should not put "dinner and dancing" on the invitation itself, it makes far more sense to include the amount of food that is being served somewhere in the contents of the invitation so the guests are able to plan.
*ETA to clarify
2. For the guest to question what is being offered at any party or wedding is rude.
3. For today's big, expensive weddings, "Dinner and dancing" sounds like bragging, especially to someone who had a simple cake and punch reception.. "No Alcohol" or "Open Bar" should not be on the invitation, either. The idea is that the guest attends the wedding to see the couple be married. The couple then greets the guests and offers them refreshment (food and drink). To question what kind of food will be available is rude, unless the hosts ask on the reply card, such as menu pre-selections or dietary restrictions. Whether or not there will be dancing has no bearing on the way the guests should prepare for the day.
"Reception to follow" covers everything. This has been the standard etiquette for more than 100 years. I don't see this one changing, though it is frequently broken, usually because the person who words the invitation is ignorant of the practice.
And now a guest calling to ask, "Hey, should we plan to eat a big lunch or a small lunch?" is rude. But if you plan a 2 PM wedding and a 4 PM reception with a meal to follow that doesn't involve a pre-selected meal, should your guests expect the meal? If the guests don't eat the meal, are they rude for not eating what's provided because they were full? Were the hosts rude to serve a meal that's akin to the time that my family serves a Sunday or holiday dinner?
I'm sorry but I think that it's absolute bullshit to say that it's rude to state the type of reception that you're having when we're just talking about logistics and planning.
In this particular case I think the information could be provided by word of mouth or electronically - just not in the invitation.
@OurWildKingdom Usually RSVPs for weddings are by mail. It doesn't make sense to contact the guests after they RSVP to let them know dinner will be served. It looks like you've decided to serve dinner after a head count was taken.
Also, your MIL sounds like both my grandmothers.
I don't know why it was easier then. IMO, it's really easy to tell your guests what you're hosting.
Oh the times they are a changing....
I'm having a 30 minute ceremony starting at either 1:30 or 2pm. I'm not paying for a giant packet of information to be sent to 25 people when I can call or text most of them, so I will be saying "Cake and Punch Reception to Follow!" on the invitation. I may decide to get some pretty platters and throw some grocery store food on there for my guests that want a little more than cake (although that's crazy. Even the Beatles said "All you need is cake"..or is that love?). I thank everyone for your advice and opinions, please feel free to continue discussing this as it may still be helpful for other brides that need help.
Welcome to TK
If a person is going to get his or her panties in a wad at seeing those phrases on an invitation and not an an additional insert card, then they need a hobby or some cognitive behavioral adjustments, but it's not bad hosting to include that info.
Not everyone wants to pay for and send out the 35lb trifold invitation with 101 inserts.
Uh, no.
I have already called/emailed/FB messaged 100+ people to get their addresses for STDs, then did it all over again to determine their relationship status so I can be sure to invite their SOs, and now I should personally contact all these people all over again after they RSVP?
Or I could have been One and Done with a line on the invitation?
Be prepared to clutch your pearls. . .
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Are you telling me that if I had a buffet I should have called each person who accepted the invitation to say, "Oh, BTW, we're going to serve a full meal. I hope you eat it."
Give me a break. Of all the etiquette "rules" out there this is one of the most ridiculous I've seen.
Look, people just want to know whether to eat ahead of time. Nobody is going to come or not come based on the nature of the food being served, and if there is anyone in your circle who is that gauche you don't need that person in your life anyway. It is a good thing to let people know what to expect.
To @CMGragain 's point that it's boastful: REALLY?! It's boastful to let your guests know you will feed them a full meal? Maybe it's a generational thing, but it seems like you'd be over-sensitive to feel like the hosts are bragging by mentioning a meal will follow.
I put this in the "no harm, no foul" category of etiquette breaches. Personally, I like when invitations include the type of reception to expect, and if something so small offends (general) you, you probably need to develop a thicker skin.
But yes - there are some people in our circle who eat dinner promptly at 6 every evening. H and I tend to eat between 7 and 8:30 most nights.
I think providing meal information is a nice courtesy - especially where people will need additional travel/getting ready time that would make it difficult to eat beforehand.