Me and FI have been invited to a PPD. Our friends were married 2 years ago due to immigration issues- let's call them Jack and Jill. They got married at the courthouse but Jill never imagined that to be her wedding day because she's DREAMED of having a beautiful wedding, filled with tons and friends and family, NOTHING like the courthouse. So to make sure her dreams come true, they have planned a wedding...2 years later. The reason why it's 2 years later is because they needed time to save money.
Their "wedding" will be this fall- bridal party, ceremony, first dance, you name it. I had to sit at a table with FI and 5 of our other friends, all invited to this wedding, and try to explain to them how ridiculous this entire situation is. Not a single one of them agreed with me. I got responses like: "But they had no choice because of immigration," or "That's what Jill always wanted, so I don't see I problem with it at all," or "They don't see the courthouse as their wedding. This will be their wedding."
It took everything inside of me to not stand up and start screaming "BUT THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 2 YEARS!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SHE WANTS, THAT IS WHAT THEY CHOSE. AND WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SAVE $$$ FOR 2 YEARS FOR A CEREMONY THAT DOESN'T STAND FOR ANYTHING?!" So then I posed the question "Are guests supposed to give a gift?" And my friends said "Well, yeah, definitely. It's only respectful to give enough to pay for your plate. They're spending a lot on the wedding, so it's only right to give a gift." UGHHHHHHHH
It's so frustrating that no one saw this as a problem. It's also unfortunate because we are good friends with this couple. FI wants to go and I told him I refused. He's not too happy because he doesn't see the problem- I guess he will be attending alone. This is nothing personal against these friends, I am just choosing to not be a part of it.