Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Snarky Brides
Snarky Brides
New Discussion

Hipster Wedding Announcement

PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Snarky Brides
#literallythefuckingworst

http://postgradproblems.com/this-hipster-marriage-announcement-from-the-new-york-times-is-the-most-insufferable-yet/

"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


Report Reply to Post
«1

Re: Hipster Wedding Announcement

  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I couldn't get past "flashy sock guy." I thought my blood sugar was going to spike and send me into shock.

    Absolutely horrid.
    Report Reply
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I'm going back in!  Wish me luck!!!!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    May the odds be ever in your favor!
    Report Reply
  • MCmeowMCmeow member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited June 2016
    Dear god, I can't stand hipsters (Mostly because they destroyed my birthplace's reputation: Brooklyn, we used to be cultured and crap and now we're known as the place with Artisan Mayo shops :| ).  The stereotypes are strong in this one.  :D

    Edit: 15 pieces of music in their ceremony? Wtf poor guests. 

    Edit #2: A graph of guests professions? Damn these two piss me off.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    OurWildKingdom said:
    May the odds be ever in your favor!
    You win tonight! Bwahahaha!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    MCmeow said:


    Edit: 15 pieces of music in their ceremony? Wtf poor guests. 

    SITB

    Uh-oh, we should cut some of our music. We only have five in the ceremony itself but five in the prelude and two in the postlude.
    Report Reply
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2016
    MCmeow said:
    Dear god, I can't stand hipsters (Mostly because they destroyed my birthplace's reputation: Brooklyn, we used to be cultured and crap and now we're known as the place with Artisan Mayo shops :| ).  The stereotypes are strong in this one.  :D

    Edit: 15 pieces of music in their ceremony? Wtf poor guests. 

    Edit #2: A graph of guests professions? Damn these two piss me off.
    FFS Spoiler Alerts!
    Not everyone has made a 2nd attempt to complete this article.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2016
    Ok I just made it to their ceremony. . .JFC.

    The next time anyone on here dares whine about how long Catholic wedding masses are I'm going to link them this article and tell them to GTFOver it.

    ETA:  Oh this type of article seems to be a thing:  http://postgradproblems.com/a-breakdown-of-the-most-insufferable-marriage-announcement-ive-ever-read/

    I think we need to invite Wil to join the coven.

    ETA 2: The commenters found the wedding pictures! http://mobile.nytimes.com/slideshow/2016/06/19/fashion/weddings/a-day-filled-with-more-than-a-few-of-their-favorite-things/s/19VOWS-slide-PC5C.html?_r=0&referer=http://postgradproblems.com/this-hipster-marriage-announcement-from-the-new-york-times-is-the-most-insufferable-yet/

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • MCmeowMCmeow member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited June 2016
    OurWildKingdom said:
    MCmeow said:


    Edit: 15 pieces of music in their ceremony? Wtf poor guests. 

    SITB

    Uh-oh, we should cut some of our music. We only have five in the ceremony itself but five in the prelude and two in the postlude.
    Haha I guess in my head I imagine each piece is about 3-4min. An hour for music plus the speaking parts. Oh lord. (Then again I've never been to a wedding in my adult life so I don't know but it seems long)

    Also I skipped some of the article and just went back to it. He freaking sings opera randomly too while approaching people? Jesus H Christ
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Insufferable. That's all I could think of reading this. They must be the most insufferable people to be around. 

    I I kept thinking it couldn't get worse and then I'd read a little farther and it would!
    Report Reply
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Man I can't tell you the last time I've wanted to punch a stranger in the throat so badly. Do these stories always refer to the couple by their last names because in my head it was by his request which makes me hate him even more. 

    However, he's also much cleaner than I anticipated in his photo and has a striking resemblance to McLovin. That's what you get for being a pretentious douchebag. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • bleve0821bleve0821 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2016
    "Mr. Peters described the music as: “Joyful, rich, lush. Lush like a forest, not like an alcoholic.”"

    Omg I am DYING. This was awful. My day can only get better.

    ETA: looked through the pics, the guy, Nathaniel? looks a lot like a roommate I once had.  He was completely insufferable, too.  In all of the same ways.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    Report Reply
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2016
    (By contrast, Jon Petkun, a friend, said Mr. Peters possessed an “ear-piercing loveliness.”)

    Bravo, Jon Petkun.  You just know he rolled his eyes as he said that.

    ETA:  have I mentioned that "curated" is my current least-favorite word?  Because it is.  It SO is. 
    �
    Report Reply
  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If it wasn't for the commentary, I wouldn't have made it through. I need several drinks...

    I went to high school with people like this...
    Report Reply
  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    You know, hipsters can hipster all they want.  You be you.  I don't really care.

    BUT to put all this in a wedding announcement?  What the heck?  NO ONE cares this much about your stupid eccentric lifestyle to want to read about it in the newspaper.  NO ONE.  

    If you want to sing show tunes randomly while baking biscuits in your crazy socks, GO FOR IT.  But to be so pompous as to gush about it all in a newspaper?  You've got to be kidding me.

    SaveSave
    Report Reply
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    monkeysip said:
    You know, hipsters can hipster all they want.  You be you.  I don't really care.

    BUT to put all this in a wedding announcement?  What the heck?  NO ONE cares this much about your stupid eccentric lifestyle to want to read about it in the newspaper.  NO ONE.  

    If you want to sing show tunes randomly while baking biscuits in your crazy socks, GO FOR IT.  But to be so pompous as to gush about it all in a newspaper?  You've got to be kidding me.
    To be fair, Most of the NYT wedding announcements I have read are totally obnoxious. . . and the author of the article I linked takes on a few additional ones.

    What annoys me about people who are this Hipster is that it's completely an act that they work very hard to maintain at all times.  They aren't genuinely this douchey, which is to say that they don't come by this level of douchery naturally- these are personas they are cultivating 24/7.

    It reminds me of the douchery here: http://www.vox.com/2015/9/9/9275611/victorian-era-life

    They eschew all modern shit and yet she fucking blogs about how they eschew all modern shit.  Yeah, ok.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I made it about 1/4 of the through before I had to stop...I may try again.

    Report Reply
  • Sherbie25Sherbie25 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    All the way through in 1 sitting!

    When she visited his house, she generally arrived with an armful of baguettes and pastries, leftovers from the bakery where she worked. “I started referring to her as our ‘friend with breadifits,’” he said.

    There are punchable paragraphs and then there’s the paragraph that just burned holes in your eyes. “Friends with breadifits” is the line they used at every Zooey Deschanel-esque dinner party they ever attended in an effort to make people think they were the cutest couple ever.


    Jeez Louise! 

    Zooey is someone I also want to punch repeatedly in the throat and vagina. The spelling of her name is one of many reasons.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker





    Report Reply
  • Sherbie25Sherbie25 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    “Wedding meadow” is the most cringeworthy phrase since Gwyneth Paltrow and the Coldplay dude called their divorce a “conscious uncoupling.”

    she's another one. 

    I imagine the groom to have a man bun hairstyle; it seems to be essential to the more douchier hipsters. In England we call these people wankers, tossers and in extreme cases the c word!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker





    Report Reply
  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Sherbie25 said:


    I imagine the groom to have a man bun hairstyle; it seems to be essential to the more douchier hipsters. In England we call these people wankers, tossers and in extreme cases the c word!
    My husband randomly turned to me the other day and said, "You know, one day, people are going to look back and have to explain how it was cool for a time for men to wear their hair in buns".

    I hadn't really thought about it.  But yeah... that's going to be one of those things that we look back at and can't believe.  I can hardly believe it now.

    SaveSave
    Report Reply
  • MCmeowMCmeow member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I have a deep irrational hatred for man buns... My brother had one for a little while, he never looked so punchable as he did then
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    kimmiinthemitten said:
    Man I can't tell you the last time I've wanted to punch a stranger in the throat so badly. Do these stories always refer to the couple by their last names because in my head it was by his request which makes me hate him even more. 

    However, he's also much cleaner than I anticipated in his photo and has a striking resemblance to McLovin. That's what you get for being a pretentious douchebag. 
    In journalism, yes. Associated Press style is to only use last names on second reference. However, the Times has never followed this rule and always refers to people as Mr/Mrs/Ms last name on second reference. 
    Report Reply
  • sparklepants41sparklepants41 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Heffalump said:
    (By contrast, Jon Petkun, a friend, said Mr. Peters possessed an “ear-piercing loveliness.”)

    Bravo, Jon Petkun.  You just know he rolled his eyes as he said that.

    ETA:  have I mentioned that "curated" is my current least-favorite word?  Because it is.  It SO is. 
    Its a word that pompous, narcissist use to sound "heady" and intellectual.

    It just means means to fucking select ><

    My lunch was freshly curated this morning out of my fucking fridge.
    Quite Fucking True. 

    On a similar note, I am having a bespoke salad for lunch today.
    Report Reply
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    sparklepants41 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Heffalump said:
    (By contrast, Jon Petkun, a friend, said Mr. Peters possessed an “ear-piercing loveliness.”)

    Bravo, Jon Petkun.  You just know he rolled his eyes as he said that.

    ETA:  have I mentioned that "curated" is my current least-favorite word?  Because it is.  It SO is. 
    Its a word that pompous, narcissist use to sound "heady" and intellectual.

    It just means means to fucking select ><

    My lunch was freshly curated this morning out of my fucking fridge.
    Quite Fucking True. 

    On a similar note, I am having a bespoke salad for lunch today.
    OMG bespoke is another one!  WTF does it even mean?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • sparklepants41sparklepants41 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sparklepants41 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Heffalump said:
    (By contrast, Jon Petkun, a friend, said Mr. Peters possessed an “ear-piercing loveliness.”)

    Bravo, Jon Petkun.  You just know he rolled his eyes as he said that.

    ETA:  have I mentioned that "curated" is my current least-favorite word?  Because it is.  It SO is. 
    Its a word that pompous, narcissist use to sound "heady" and intellectual.

    It just means means to fucking select ><

    My lunch was freshly curated this morning out of my fucking fridge.
    Quite Fucking True. 

    On a similar note, I am having a bespoke salad for lunch today.
    OMG bespoke is another one!  WTF does it even mean?
    It's usually for clothing - it means made to order. 

    It makes me want to gag.
    Report Reply
  • MCmeowMCmeow member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited June 2016
    sparklepants41 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sparklepants41 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Heffalump said:
    (By contrast, Jon Petkun, a friend, said Mr. Peters possessed an “ear-piercing loveliness.”)

    Bravo, Jon Petkun.  You just know he rolled his eyes as he said that.

    ETA:  have I mentioned that "curated" is my current least-favorite word?  Because it is.  It SO is. 
    Its a word that pompous, narcissist use to sound "heady" and intellectual.

    It just means means to fucking select ><

    My lunch was freshly curated this morning out of my fucking fridge.
    Quite Fucking True. 

    On a similar note, I am having a bespoke salad for lunch today.
    OMG bespoke is another one!  WTF does it even mean?
    It's usually for clothing - it means made to order. 

    It makes me want to gag.
    I work near a place called "Bespoke Kitchen" as if food shouldn't be made to order
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    God bless the blogger for ripping apart wedding announcements. The New York single girl's sports pages!

    For what it's worth, the bride's dress is gorrrrrgeous. And way too trendy to be hipster. They're frauds!
    ________________________________


    Report Reply
  • Sherbie25Sherbie25 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    MCmeow said:
    sparklepants41 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    sparklepants41 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Heffalump said:
    (By contrast, Jon Petkun, a friend, said Mr. Peters possessed an “ear-piercing loveliness.”)

    Bravo, Jon Petkun.  You just know he rolled his eyes as he said that.

    ETA:  have I mentioned that "curated" is my current least-favorite word?  Because it is.  It SO is. 
    Its a word that pompous, narcissist use to sound "heady" and intellectual.

    It just means means to fucking select ><

    My lunch was freshly curated this morning out of my fucking fridge.
    Quite Fucking True. 

    On a similar note, I am having a bespoke salad for lunch today.
    OMG bespoke is another one!  WTF does it even mean?
    It's usually for clothing - it means made to order. 

    It makes me want to gag.
    I work near a place called "Bespoke Kitchen" as if food shouldn't be made to order
    Another one is artisan/artisanal...grr!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker





    Report Reply
  • SaintPaulGalSaintPaulGal member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2016
    I looked at the photos.  Is it just me or does the groom look like a really attractive butch lady?

    Edit:  Lest someone take that the wrong way, I am a queer lady who has a thing somewhat androgynous queer ladies.  My comment wasn't meant to be "eeeww, dude looks like a lezzzbian."  I meant that I would totally hit on that guy if I saw him at a gay bar and then be disappointed.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards