DIY Wedding Forum

Too prepared?

My wedding is just under 3 months away and we have been engaged for almost 2 years at this point.  I got super excited when we got engaged and wanted to be prepared financially so I booked all of my vendors REALLY early.  Now I'm following up with a lot of them to make sure everything is still in order and I'm getting many of them saying "It's a little early, we will contact you a 60 days or a month before".  I feel like I'm being a pest but I just don't want to have to worry about these things 2 weeks before the wedding and have to stress about how I'm going to find a cake because the bakery lost my contract or some silly scenario that I've made up in my head.  I feel like I'm too on top of things and I am starting to become an annoyance. Mind you once I've made contact and my anxiety is resolved I'm leaving them alone.  

Re: Too prepared?

  • I don't think 3 months is too early to be reengaging with vendors. I would circle back to review any contracts you signed and get working on the details. I'm just under 3 months away and the only thing we haven't finalized is the specifics for dinner. You are not being a pest at all.
  • As long as you have all of contracts in order I would sit tight for another few weeks.  For our wedding most of the vendors started finalizing between 4-6 weeks out.  Our DJs met with us a week before...and did a fantastic job!  I think vendors like to wait until the last month or so because they are already dealing with a bunch of other weddings (especially bakeries and the like who often have multiple cakes per day!) and it allows them to narrow the focus down to fewer clients at a time.  I know that was the DJ's logic and despite my internal need to have it done sooner, I do think it helped them to nail our ideas and personalities on the big day.

    That said, I don't think you are being a pest at all.  It is nice to be organized and a simple e-mail/phone call to confirm plans is more than okay if you booked these people nearly two years ago.

  • My wedding is just under 3 months away and we have been engaged for almost 2 years at this point.  I got super excited when we got engaged and wanted to be prepared financially so I booked all of my vendors REALLY early.  Now I'm following up with a lot of them to make sure everything is still in order and I'm getting many of them saying "It's a little early, we will contact you a 60 days or a month before".  I feel like I'm being a pest but I just don't want to have to worry about these things 2 weeks before the wedding and have to stress about how I'm going to find a cake because the bakery lost my contract or some silly scenario that I've made up in my head.  I feel like I'm too on top of things and I am starting to become an annoyance. Mind you once I've made contact and my anxiety is resolved I'm leaving them alone.  
    I don't think it's a problem to check in now, make sure you're still on their calendar, but most vendors, especially during the busy summer months, won't finalize details until you're closer to 4-6 weeks out. So I'd say it's fine to email, but if they say sit tight a few more weeks don't push them on it, or read anything into it; they're not blowing you off, they're just focusing on weddings/events happening now, which is what you want them to do when yours comes along!
  • 4-6 weeks is normally crunch time.  Before then things often change.  And by change I  mean many couples change their minds on details like types of flowers or music, even food.  

    I don't see a problem with following up that dates are saved and contracts signed, but yeah, based on my own experience it's early to be figuring out the little details.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I agree with the above.  No harm in contacting your vendors to make sure you are still on track, but it's a bit early to be finalizing everything

    As someone who works at a place where weddings and events happen, we get our fair share of people who are convinced that it will help us out if they contact us extra-early with their details and just "get it out of the way."  That is just fine if it happens to be a slow time, but during busy season we really need that time to devote to people whose events are coming up first.  YOU may be all ready to go, but you still have to wait your turn.  (Our people try to take care of clients and not actually make them wait, but it may mean putting in extra hours now and then being thrown off in the future.)  Also, YOU may have every little detail completely set in stone, but that's what we hear from everyone and half the time the "working ahead" just means having to update things a thousand times between the extra-early date and when we would have circled back naturally.
  • PP covered what I was going to say:  you have this long stretch of time between now and your wedding, but chances are they have a few dozen weddings between now and then, and those need their attention first.

    Good on you for being organized.  Reward yourself by doing something fun in your free time, now that the bulk of your planning is done.
  • I was pestering our venue early about stuff. I don't like to scramble last minute! I tried twice to talk to them about details a couple months out, and both times I got a sort of, "Addie, we will contact you about 2 weeks out to finalize details." I finally just had to accept that they do like 100 weddings a year and knew better than I did. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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