Etiquette for a Party Bus

photokitty · August 2016

charlotte989875 said:

I think some people are reading too much in here (although I do wish OP would come back and clarify). No where to use the bathroom? They're presumably stopping a bars on the strip. No way to leave if they get tired/bored/drunk? Cabs are everywhere in Vegas, Lyft, Uber; just like any other reception. Who the hell wants to drink in a moving vehicle? Many people, evidenced by having champagne, liquor and glass in many limos.

I get this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it's not wrong. Asking people to chip in would be though.

I believe that those of us reading into it, are merely saying - tell your guests of your plans before they rsvp. We're not saying don't do our, just tell people bc some people would opt not to fly to Vegas for what is planned. There are potential issues that do not make this a traditionally well hosted reception.

If someone has a pee right now, waiting for the next photo stop doesn't scream putting your guests first and being a gracious host.

STARMOON44 · August 2016

I'd be annoyed if I flew anywhere and got a dry wedding, but that doesn't make hosting one a problem.

SwissMs · August 2016

CMGragain said:

scribe95 said:

It has a Vegas feel so I think it's cool. Having some drinks, stopping at the Vegas sign for pics; more drinks; stopping for pizza; more drinks; stopping to watch the fountains. It is definitely nontraditional but I think it could be fun for a younger set of people.

Ahem. And what is Grandma supposed to do? This might be a good plan for a bachelorette party, but this is supposed to be a wedding reception.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have living grandparents. I also lost both of my parents by the time I was 26. The only people over 40 being invited to our wedding are my FI's parents. While we aren't going quite this extreme, grandmas would disapprove of our plan as well - which is fine because we don't have grandmas that need to be considered and our plan for the weekend is very us. As long as the important people are on-board with the party bus (and it is properly hosted as OP now knows), I say you do you, OP.

LD1970 · August 2016

CMGragain said:

redoryx said:

CMGragain said:

I'm a grandmother, and I could not and would not.

Okay? I know grandmothers who can and would. Just because you can't and won't doesn't make it a blanket rule for grandmothers everywhere.

I have no problem with having a party bus to celebrate a wedding. I do have a problem with it if that is the ONLY hospitality offered. This is supposed to be a WEDDING RECEPTION. It should include everyone. At age 65, I can still walk on my own, but I can't do stairs easily, especially bus stairs. I can't drink more than one drink. My DH is hard of hearing, and he would hate a scenario like the OP is proposing for her wedding reception. We are not that unusual for older people, and I have several friends that are not as spry as I am..
My point is that a wedding reception is a thank you from the couple to their guests for coming to the ceremony. It should be in the form of offering food and drink. An after-party, which is what the party bus sounds like, is fine, but it is not a replacement for a reception, which should include ALL guests, not just the party-on crowd.
Would you invite families to a wedding and then have a reception which excludes children? This is just one example.
The last wedding I attended, there was dancing. People had the choice to dance - or not. There was alcohol. People had the choice to drink alcohol - or not. There was plenty of food - nobody wanted to pass that up! The OP is not giving her guests these choices. They are on the bus and must go with the crowd.
Like I said, great after party for those who choose it, but not a good WEDDING RECEPTION.

I'm very sorry you're such a mess, but my parents (the grandparents I mentioned earlier) are 68 and 70, and would and could attend this wedding reception. They'd have a blast, in fact. I have a friend whose father is much older than my parents - into his 80s, I think? - and still takes his annual camping trip, canoeing down the Delaware every summer.

I'm 46 and mostly hang out with younger friends. My husband is over 8 years younger than I am. If I ever get too old or crotchety for a party bus, shoot me.

YOU are not ALL parents. Or grandparents. It's very possible that OP HAS taken her entire guest list into account and that HER older guests, if there are any, are exactly the type who'd not only be OK with this but think it was downright awesome.

ShesSoCold · August 2016

So, from this thread, I have learned that drinking in a vehicle is impossible, any type of stairs are impossible for all grandparents, every wedding guest list is identical, old people dislike loud but also cannot hear, being on any form of bus is extremely uncomfortable for most people and that pizza isn't food.

Am I missing anything?

glasgowtolondon · August 2016

ShesSoCold said:

So, from this thread, I have learned that drinking in a vehicle is impossible, any type of stairs are impossible for all grandparents, every wedding guest list is identical, old people dislike loud but also cannot hear, being on any form of bus is extremely uncomfortable for most people and that pizza isn't food.
Am I missing anything?

That people will pee all over the seat if there is a toilet.

kylexo · August 2016

ShesSoCold said:

So, from this thread, I have learned that drinking in a vehicle is impossible, any type of stairs are impossible for all grandparents, every wedding guest list is identical, old people dislike loud but also cannot hear, being on any form of bus is extremely uncomfortable for most people and that pizza isn't food.
Am I missing anything?

right??! there is a whole lot of hyperbole happening here.

ShesSoCold · August 2016

glasgowtolondon said:

ShesSoCold said:

So, from this thread, I have learned that drinking in a vehicle is impossible, any type of stairs are impossible for all grandparents, every wedding guest list is identical, old people dislike loud but also cannot hear, being on any form of bus is extremely uncomfortable for most people and that pizza isn't food.
Am I missing anything?

That people will pee all over the seat if there is a toilet.

Ahhhh yes, thanks.

climbingsingle · August 2016

Jesus Christ. My grandma who is 94 (and broke her hip in 2015 and hasn't been the same since) could climb the stairs of a bus multiple times. And I'm 99.9% sure she'd be down for this. I've actually seen her drink alcohol in a moving vehicle! Imagine! I know, it's crazy.

My parents and aunts and uncles are also all in their LATE 60s, and all of them would enjoy this. I have an aunt that goes out to Manhattan and dances nearly every weekend. Not every "grandparent" is the same.

CMGragain · August 2016

This discussion has moved from being a discussion on what is a proper wedding reception to an attack on seniors with disabilities. I'm not sure how that happened. I am happy that some of you have older relatives that are able to climb stairs and drink and dance (on a bus?). I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic.
A party bus with alcohol is not a substitute for a wedding reception with food and drink.

ShesSoCold · August 2016

CMGragain said:

This discussion has moved from being a discussion on what is a proper wedding reception to an attack on seniors with disabilities. I'm not sure how that happened. I am happy that some of you have older relatives that are able to climb stairs and drink and dance (on a bus?). I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic.
A party bus with alcohol is not a substitute for a wedding reception with food and drink.

So, you're saying that your personal experience is totally on-topic but others' personal experiences are not?

OP stated the bus is stopping for pizza. Drinks on a bus, pizza at a restaurant. This may not be your cup of tea, but it's proper as far as hosting responsibilities go (as Iong as there is a bathroom and her guest list is able to physically ride a bus).

huskypuppy14 · August 2016

It's 2 hours on a bus. Not 6 hours or a whole day. Would it be my first choice for a reception? No. But if there is food and drink provided then it's a reception... Just an untraditional one.

I don't see anyone attacking the elderly or those with disabilities? Did I miss that post?

CMGragain · August 2016

ShesSoCold said:

CMGragain said:

This discussion has moved from being a discussion on what is a proper wedding reception to an attack on seniors with disabilities. I'm not sure how that happened. I am happy that some of you have older relatives that are able to climb stairs and drink and dance (on a bus?). I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic.
A party bus with alcohol is not a substitute for a wedding reception with food and drink.

So, you're saying that your personal experience is totally on-topic but others' personal experiences are not?
OP stated the bus is stopping for pizza. Drinks on a bus, pizza at a restaurant. This may not be your cup of tea, but it's proper as far as hosting responsibilities go (as Iong as there is a bathroom and her guest list is able to physically ride a bus).

OK. I would decline this invitation, but if the OP really wants to do it.....well, good luck. I assume the OP is paying for the pizza? I still think it is a terrible idea.

PS. Anybody else notice that the OP is gone?

monkeysip · August 2016

It's really not that different from people that have their receptions on a boat.

As said earlier--guests should be told up front. Either by a phone call or an insert in the invitation. Just like I would want to know if a reception were on a boat too. But if they don't like it, they can just RSVP no.

Also, I like pizza.

LondonLisa · August 2016

CMGragain said:

This discussion has moved from being a discussion on what is a proper wedding reception to an attack on seniors with disabilities. I'm not sure how that happened. I am happy that some of you have older relatives that are able to climb stairs and drink and dance (on a bus?). I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic.
A party bus with alcohol is not a substitute for a wedding reception with food and drink.

That is exactly what is being said. I bet the bride is going to scream "Suck it, Grandma Doris!" As she peels out of the chapel in her party bus. Seniors with disabilities can just go kick rocks. Yay young people!

Look, this is getting ridiculous with the hyperbole.

I think what everyone is saying is "thoughtfully evaluate your crowd". Maybe OP doesn't have living grandparents, maybe it's a friends only wedding. Maybe Grandma Doris was a groupie for Skynyrd and can party with the best of them. Let's all just get some further info before we hypothetically decide if this can or cannot work with a grandmother that we don't even know if she exists.

In in the immortal words of Joey: "it may be a moo point."

climbingsingle · August 2016

CMGragain said:

This discussion has moved from being a discussion on what is a proper wedding reception to an attack on seniors with disabilities. I'm not sure how that happened. I am happy that some of you have older relatives that are able to climb stairs and drink and dance (on a bus?). I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic.
A party bus with alcohol is not a substitute for a wedding reception with food and drink.

No one is attacking seniors with disabilities. You came in here making sweeping generalizations about "grandparents" and people your age.

LD1970 · August 2016

There's been no attack, just accurate statements and anecdotal evidence to the effect that YOU do not represent the entire 65+ population, should anyone 65+ even be on OP's guest list. Your presumption that OP hasn't considered her guest list in making her plans is actually pretty obnoxious. Own it.

ernursej · August 2016

Although not a wedding reception, this past weekend, FI and I went to a progressive dinner that had transportation on a party bus. There were drinks and munchies on the bus, we had three stops (appetizer, entrée, dessert). I was thinking it was going to be a more relaxed subdued atmosphere (we bid and won it at a church auction) but it was a pretty wild party from start to finish. I was hesitant about going on the bus and participating in the experience but I'm really glad that we won it.

I think a party bus for a reception can work if you factor in stops and make it an event.

lovesclimbing · August 2016

ShesSoCold said:

CMGragain said:

This discussion has moved from being a discussion on what is a proper wedding reception to an attack on seniors with disabilities. I'm not sure how that happened. I am happy that some of you have older relatives that are able to climb stairs and drink and dance (on a bus?). I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic.
A party bus with alcohol is not a substitute for a wedding reception with food and drink.

So, you're saying that your personal experience is totally on-topic but others' personal experiences are not?
OP stated the bus is stopping for pizza. Drinks on a bus, pizza at a restaurant. This may not be your cup of tea, but it's proper as far as hosting responsibilities go (as Iong as there is a bathroom and her guest list is able to physically ride a bus).

climbingwife said:

CMGragain said:

This discussion has moved from being a discussion on what is a proper wedding reception to an attack on seniors with disabilities. I'm not sure how that happened. I am happy that some of you have older relatives that are able to climb stairs and drink and dance (on a bus?). I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic.
A party bus with alcohol is not a substitute for a wedding reception with food and drink.

No one is attacking seniors with disabilities. You came in here making sweeping generalizations about "grandparents" and people your age.

So I've been following this thread but not commenting. In @CMGragain's defense, I found @LD1970's comments "I'm very sorry you're such a mess" and "if I ever get too old or crotchety for a party bus, shoot me" to Cmgr to be, while perhaps not against TOS, a bit out of line and offensive.

MobKaz · August 2016

lovesclimbing said:

ShesSoCold said:

CMGragain said:

This discussion has moved from being a discussion on what is a proper wedding reception to an attack on seniors with disabilities. I'm not sure how that happened. I am happy that some of you have older relatives that are able to climb stairs and drink and dance (on a bus?). I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic.
A party bus with alcohol is not a substitute for a wedding reception with food and drink.

So, you're saying that your personal experience is totally on-topic but others' personal experiences are not?
OP stated the bus is stopping for pizza. Drinks on a bus, pizza at a restaurant. This may not be your cup of tea, but it's proper as far as hosting responsibilities go (as Iong as there is a bathroom and her guest list is able to physically ride a bus).

climbingwife said:

CMGragain said:

This discussion has moved from being a discussion on what is a proper wedding reception to an attack on seniors with disabilities. I'm not sure how that happened. I am happy that some of you have older relatives that are able to climb stairs and drink and dance (on a bus?). I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic.
A party bus with alcohol is not a substitute for a wedding reception with food and drink.

No one is attacking seniors with disabilities. You came in here making sweeping generalizations about "grandparents" and people your age.

So I've been following this thread but not commenting. In @CMGragain's defense, I found @LD1970's comments "I'm very sorry you're such a mess" and "if I ever get too old or crotchety for a party bus, shoot me" to Cmgr to be, while perhaps not against TOS, a bit out of line and offensive.

It was not only offensive, it was ignorant. Not everyone is blessed with a long, vital life and good health. No one can ever be in complete control of health issues that arise with aging.

CMGragain · August 2016

Thank you, ladies. I know many disabled people, and not all of them are elderly. If I planned a social event of any kind, I would certainly consider any guests who even might possibly have a physical problem.
At my last party, I served wine, soda, and diet soda, and sugar free desserts as well as yummy sugar loaded ones. A guest asked me to turn off the music because she was hard of hearing, and I quickly obliged. There were plenty of seats, and I spent much of my time making sure that my guests were comfortable and had any refreshments that they wished.
This is simply what a good hostess does. I do not choose my guests - or my friends - according to their physical abilities.

redoryx · August 2016

CMGragain said:

Thank you, ladies. I know many disabled people, and not all of them are elderly. If I planned a social event of any kind, I would certainly consider any guests who even might possibly have a physical problem.
At my last party, I served wine, soda, and diet soda, and sugar free desserts as well as yummy sugar loaded ones. A guest asked me to turn off the music because she was hard of hearing, and I quickly obliged. There were plenty of seats, and I spent much of my time making sure that my guests were comfortable and had any refreshments that they wished.
This is simply what a good hostess does. I do not choose my guests - or my friends - according to their physical abilities.

That's great but I still feel like you are assigning YOUR friends to the OP's friends. This is a Know Your Crowd situation and we don't know the OP's crowd and, as indicated here, there are plenty of people who would love this kind of reception, regardless of their age. There is nothing wrong or rude or against etiquette with the OP's plan. It might not be your cup of tea, which is okay, but that doesn't mean nobody else is allowed to drink it.

climbingsingle · August 2016

CMGragain said:

Thank you, ladies. I know many disabled people, and not all of them are elderly. If I planned a social event of any kind, I would certainly consider any guests who even might possibly have a physical problem.
At my last party, I served wine, soda, and diet soda, and sugar free desserts as well as yummy sugar loaded ones. A guest asked me to turn off the music because she was hard of hearing, and I quickly obliged. There were plenty of seats, and I spent much of my time making sure that my guests were comfortable and had any refreshments that they wished.
This is simply what a good hostess does. I do not choose my guests - or my friends - according to their physical abilities.

You are again making assumptions about the OP. We always say "know your crowd". It's very possible that all of her guests (pretty sure she said only 25 people) are all able bodied.

How fantastic that you are so accommodating. Most of us are. And who said anything about choosing guests based on physical abilities? Again, you're making assumptions that are so far fetched!

And here we are, another post all about CMG.....

photokitty · August 2016

climbingwife said:

CMGragain said:

Thank you, ladies. I know many disabled people, and not all of them are elderly. If I planned a social event of any kind, I would certainly consider any guests who even might possibly have a physical problem.
At my last party, I served wine, soda, and diet soda, and sugar free desserts as well as yummy sugar loaded ones. A guest asked me to turn off the music because she was hard of hearing, and I quickly obliged. There were plenty of seats, and I spent much of my time making sure that my guests were comfortable and had any refreshments that they wished.
This is simply what a good hostess does. I do not choose my guests - or my friends - according to their physical abilities.

You are again making assumptions about the OP. We always say "know your crowd". It's very possible that all of her guests (pretty sure she said only 25 people) are all able bodied.

How fantastic that you are so accommodating. Most of us are. And who said anything about choosing guests based on physical abilities? Again, you're making assumptions that are so far fetched!

And here we are, another post all about CMG.....

That's hilarious coming from someone who never misses an opportunity to take part in a CMG pile on - whether it's warranted or not. There are several posters who suddenly come out of the woodwork when she posts something questionable. Some might say it's the unofficial sport of TK.

Sometimes we all just have to live with the posting style of others, like it or not.

Until we know that there is bathroom on this bus from hell, I'm still standing by my tacky assessment. No potty, no way it's proper hosting.

climbingsingle · August 2016

photokitty said:

climbingwife said:

CMGragain said:

Thank you, ladies. I know many disabled people, and not all of them are elderly. If I planned a social event of any kind, I would certainly consider any guests who even might possibly have a physical problem.
At my last party, I served wine, soda, and diet soda, and sugar free desserts as well as yummy sugar loaded ones. A guest asked me to turn off the music because she was hard of hearing, and I quickly obliged. There were plenty of seats, and I spent much of my time making sure that my guests were comfortable and had any refreshments that they wished.
This is simply what a good hostess does. I do not choose my guests - or my friends - according to their physical abilities.

You are again making assumptions about the OP. We always say "know your crowd". It's very possible that all of her guests (pretty sure she said only 25 people) are all able bodied.

How fantastic that you are so accommodating. Most of us are. And who said anything about choosing guests based on physical abilities? Again, you're making assumptions that are so far fetched!

And here we are, another post all about CMG.....

That's hilarious coming from someone who never misses an opportunity to take part in a CMG pile on - whether it's warranted or not. There are several posters who suddenly come out of the woodwork when she posts something questionable. Some might say it's the unofficial sport of TK.
Sometimes we all just have to live with the posting style of others, like it or not.
Until we know that there is bathroom on this bus from hell, I'm still standing by my tacky assessment. No potty, no way it's proper hosting.

1. I don't make every post about myself, and I certainly don't make sweeping generalizations about groups of people. Am I not allowed to call that out? Please, tell me how I should post.

2. I'm not "coming out of the woodwork". Maybe check my post history. I post on this site almost every day, in many different posts. Am I not allowed to post on TK, Photokitty?

AddieCake · August 2016

Yes, this is definitely a plan I'd want to know about in advance so that I could make my choice accordingly.

ETA: Bus from hell? That seems dramatic.

ILoveBeachMusic · August 2016

AddieCake said:

Yes, this is definitely a plan I'd want to know about in advance so that I could make my choice accordingly.

ETA: Bus from hell? That seems dramatic.

I agree about knowing the plan in advance. I also agree that IF the bus doesn't have a bathroom, it would be a bus from hell! I wish OP would return and explain a few things.

glasgowtolondon · August 2016

Will Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock be on this bus?

LondonLisa · August 2016

AddieCake said:

Yes, this is definitely a plan I'd want to know about in advance so that I could make my choice accordingly.

ETA: Bus from hell? That seems dramatic.

**Actual wedding photo**

MobKaz · August 2016

ILoveBeachMusic said:

AddieCake said:

Yes, this is definitely a plan I'd want to know about in advance so that I could make my choice accordingly.

ETA: Bus from hell? That seems dramatic.

I agree about knowing the plan in advance. I also agree that IF the bus doesn't have a bathroom, it would be a bus from hell! I wish OP would return and explain a few things.

I agree. Let me preface this by saying that I am hoping that OP does indeed know her entire crowd and is taking all factors into account. However, she does state that she is unfamiliar with weddings in general, and wedding etiquette specifically.

I qualify as a senior, and if AARP defines that as 50+, then I have been in the club for some time. I have attended tours/crawls in the city of Chicago on some of these buses. All were on a casual basis. There are issues that may be problematic for a slightly more formal event.

Lounge seats. If OP expects 25 guests, then I hope she rents a bus that accommodates 30 guests. You have to sit side by side, so guests will need to get "comfy" and close. Purses may have to be placed alongside a seated guest, or on the floor beneath the guest. That takes up space and causes potential tripping issues.

Drinks. Guests will have to hold onto their drinks at all times. I think it is reasonable to expect spills.

Bathroom. Ought to be one.

I have to say that this, for me, would not qualify as a relaxing reception. It would not be horrid, but as others have said, I would want as much information up front as possible. If I am going to be darting in and out of a bus, I would make sure my outfit and shoes were appropriate for this type of reception.

One additional "derailment" to add to the mix. Again, OP does not specifically state that this is a destination wedding. However, one argument that is often given for certain weddings, particularly destination weddings, but also weddings hosted on NYE, for example, is that it ought to reflect the time and cost guests incur to attend. I have read comments (in other threads) that state that it would not be appropriate to host a cake and punch reception if guests are traveling from OOT. If I were traveling to attend a Vegas wedding I am not sure I would consider this an appropriate reception. I would definitely want full disclosure on this reception. Yes, I KNOW I can make the choice. I KNOW weddings are not subpoena's. I'm merely adding an argument that has been voiced on the boards as well.

I do wish OP would return.

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