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Etiquette for a Party Bus

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Re: Etiquette for a Party Bus

  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    AddieCake said:
    Yes, this is definitely a plan I'd want to know about in advance so that I could make my choice accordingly. 

    ETA: Bus from hell? That seems dramatic. 


    Crap, I miss the pink comic sans! (Thanks CMG!!!1! ;) continuing the pile on) 

    I have a flair for the dramatic, but I agree, if guests know in advance I'm good with the party bus plan. And it has a potty. I'm not using it, of course.

    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I was being a snot with my comments.  I own it.

    However, the implication that people choose friends based on able-bodiedness, as opposed to happenstance leading to that result, is something *I* find offensive.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
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  • SaintPaulGalSaintPaulGal member
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    I am someone who would generally enjoy the idea of a party bus, but I would find it bizarre if the party bus didn't actually go anywhere.  Party bus to travel between venues=Vegas-style fun.  Party bus that just circles the block=why?

    Doesn't mean it's wrong.  It's just a very odd choice.
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  • kahluakoalakahluakoala member
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    SaintPaulGal said:
    I am someone who would generally enjoy the idea of a party bus, but I would find it bizarre if the party bus didn't actually go anywhere.  Party bus to travel between venues=Vegas-style fun.  Party bus that just circles the block=why?

    Doesn't mean it's wrong.  It's just a very odd choice.

    This is what I was trying to say.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    SaintPaulGal said:
    I am someone who would generally enjoy the idea of a party bus, but I would find it bizarre if the party bus didn't actually go anywhere.  Party bus to travel between venues=Vegas-style fun.  Party bus that just circles the block=why?

    Doesn't mean it's wrong.  It's just a very odd choice.
    These are my thoughts as well.

    To me a party bus is a fun, safe way to club hop. 

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    lovesclimbing said:
    Not to beat a dead horse, but I would just add (now that I'm not at work and have some time to type a longer comment on my phone) that I didn't find @CMGragain's comments in this thread to be out of line at all. 

    She was bringing up something (that some people may not enjoy or be physically incapable of enjoying a party bus) that the OP may not have thought of. That happens all the time on this forum.

    How many times have I seen regular posters bring up something that the OP didn't ask advice on? How many times have I seen the OP storm that wasn't what they asked about and their family and friends won't care and GBCK? How many times have I seen the OP say, of course I wouldn't have a cash bar/gap/whatever, so tacky?

    A lot. I have seen that many many times, and I think posters bringing up something the OP may not have thought of to be perfectly appropriate to the discussion. 

    Would some grandparents enjoy a party bus reception? Certainly. Would some dislike it or be physically incapable of going? Certainly. 

    My maternal grandparents would probably do ok. Would it be their ideal reception? Probably not, but they'd probably go and have a good time. My paternal grandfather has Alzheimer's. He does ok at his grandkids' weddings (so far), but on a party bus, it would probably be just too much for him.  

    We don't know whether the OP has elderly people attending and if so, whether or not she had cleared it with them, so I think it was a perfectly legitimate point for Cmgr to bring up and insist that this is really something the OP should make sure any elderly people are ok with. 
    Yes and no. It's certainly not a bad idea at all to canvass guests when you are planning something nontraditional to make sure that they are ok with it, but no guest, not even an elderly guest, has the right to expect that an entire reception be planned solely around their own personal needs and tastes if not everyone else attending shares those needs and tastes. Everyone needs to do some compromising - but the elderly or whomever else is affected doesn't have the right to expect everyone else to make all the compromises.

    And while @CMGragain would have had a legitimate point in asking if the guests in general shared the OP's personal needs and tastes to the degree that this would have been ok, she singled out guests in one age group and based on her own personal needs and tastes, assumed that everyone in that age group all share them and on that basis insisted that the whole idea was bad.  That was offensive and took away from what would have been an otherwise legitimate point.  
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  • LD1970LD1970 member
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    Yeah, it's definitely a legitimate point to make and question to ask.  

    It's the implication that all guests over a certain age are just like her and would hate it, and the implication that OP is being thoughtless, doesn't know her guests or hasn't taken them into consideration that's not OK.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    I went back and reread the posts from @CMGragain. She never said all elderly people, she said she wouldn't like this type of reception and often times elderly people have mobility restrictions (which is true). Someone else said it would be great for  a younger crowd. CMG said she would decline the invitation if she knew in advance about the reception. I probably would too, especially for a destination wedding, and I'm 15 years younger than CMG and very active. It was said several times that this is a know your crowd kind of thing. Again, I hope OP knows her crowd!
    It's certainly fair for @CMGragain or any other person invited to a wedding with this type of reception to decline if it doesn't float their boats, and it's also certainly fair for them to want details in advance to make that determination. 

    But it does cross the line to imply that the OP hasn't checked it out with her crowd or that all elderly people wouldn't be able to go, and unfortunately, @CMGragain's posts did give the impression that she was making those implications.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    Oh, Jen. You, again.  What can one say?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2016
    You're the one who made the posts in question, so right back at you.

    And if you bother to read the whole thread, I was neither the first nor the only to take offense at your posts. Oh, right, you don't do that.

    So your "Oh, you" comeback is inappropriate, @CMGragain, just as your posts were.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Jen4948 said:
    lovesclimbing said:
    Not to beat a dead horse, but I would just add (now that I'm not at work and have some time to type a longer comment on my phone) that I didn't find @CMGragain's comments in this thread to be out of line at all. 

    She was bringing up something (that some people may not enjoy or be physically incapable of enjoying a party bus) that the OP may not have thought of. That happens all the time on this forum.

    How many times have I seen regular posters bring up something that the OP didn't ask advice on? How many times have I seen the OP storm that wasn't what they asked about and their family and friends won't care and GBCK? How many times have I seen the OP say, of course I wouldn't have a cash bar/gap/whatever, so tacky?

    A lot. I have seen that many many times, and I think posters bringing up something the OP may not have thought of to be perfectly appropriate to the discussion. 

    Would some grandparents enjoy a party bus reception? Certainly. Would some dislike it or be physically incapable of going? Certainly. 

    My maternal grandparents would probably do ok. Would it be their ideal reception? Probably not, but they'd probably go and have a good time. My paternal grandfather has Alzheimer's. He does ok at his grandkids' weddings (so far), but on a party bus, it would probably be just too much for him.  

    We don't know whether the OP has elderly people attending and if so, whether or not she had cleared it with them, so I think it was a perfectly legitimate point for Cmgr to bring up and insist that this is really something the OP should make sure any elderly people are ok with. 
    Yes and no. It's certainly not a bad idea at all to canvass guests when you are planning something nontraditional to make sure that they are ok with it, but no guest, not even an elderly guest, has the right to expect that an entire reception be planned solely around their own personal needs and tastes if not everyone else attending shares those needs and tastes. Everyone needs to do some compromising - but the elderly or whomever else is affected doesn't have the right to expect everyone else to make all the compromises.

    And while @CMGragain would have had a legitimate point in asking if the guests in general shared the OP's personal needs and tastes to the degree that this would have been ok, she singled out guests in one age group and based on her own personal needs and tastes, assumed that everyone in that age group all share them and on that basis insisted that the whole idea was bad.  That was offensive and took away from what would have been an otherwise legitimate point.  
    LD1970 said:
    Yeah, it's definitely a legitimate point to make and question to ask.  

    It's the implication that all guests over a certain age are just like her and would hate it, and the implication that OP is being thoughtless, doesn't know her guests or hasn't taken them into consideration that's not OK.
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    I went back and reread the posts from @CMGragain. She never said all elderly people, she said she wouldn't like this type of reception and often times elderly people have mobility restrictions (which is true). Someone else said it would be great for  a younger crowd. CMG said she would decline the invitation if she knew in advance about the reception. I probably would too, especially for a destination wedding, and I'm 15 years younger than CMG and very active. It was said several times that this is a know your crowd kind of thing. Again, I hope OP knows her crowd!
    First off, I apologize for all the quotes. 

    Second, ditto @ILoveBeachMusic. 

    Third, to the first bolded in @Jen4948's post, I completely agree. But I would say a party bus reception is different from most receptions in that it can pose challenges for some people. Most elderly people or people with disabilities can easily go to a standard venue. They can leave if they need to.  A party bus, less so.  Sure, as someone suggested ( I can't remember who), they could ask to leave the party bus and jump in a taxi to go back to their vehicle or hotel, but I'd argue that goes against the precept generally endorsed on here that people shouldn't have to open their wallets at the reception. (And this scenario is different, in my opinion, from people who choose to take a taxi to the reception from their hotel or whatever).

    To the second bolded in Jen's post, I disagree with your assessment.  What I saw was @CMGragain pointing out that the Op ought to make sure she's considered possible elderly guests being able to attend. People, including you, countered that elderly people can go ahead and get on the bus and essentially dismissed her point. She then countered using anecdotal evidence (herself) to show that not everyone could.  Other people chimed in with their own anecdotal evidence about their grandparents who would be able to. 

    @LD1970, but this happens literally all the time on this forum and goes back to what I said in my second post in this thread! How many times do people bring up something that wasn't asked to make sure the OP is considering her guests? This happens all the time. Instead of automatically assuming the OP would of course be considering her guests and not having a cash bar or gap or honey fund or too few seats, people ask about it to make sure.  Cmg was doing what I have seen happen in countless threads on this site. Based on my reading of this thread (and I went back and skimmed it just now), I think Cmg was being called out for behavior that happens all the time on here and generally isn't called out (except sometimes by disgruntled OP's. :p )
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
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    Thank you so much, @glasgowtolondon!  I now have a drink for which to reach just when I need it most.......
     

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    MobKaz said:
    Thank you so much, @glasgowtolondon!  I now have a drink for which to reach just when I need it most.......
     

    I think we need more of these types of posts. . .and any recipes with cheese in them.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • KnickerGoldKnickerGold member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Late to the party but...
    OP-please be sure to be clear with your guests- no matter their age- as to what the reception will entail. 
    I'm able-bodied 26yo, who 15 months ago would have LOVED this type of party- but since then I was in a traumatic accident that led to hospitalization and a number of mental conditions- PTSD, GAD, clinical depression. While many of my friends know of these ailments, only a handful of people know what my 'limits' and 'triggers' are- and sometimes I don't even know all of them. 
    If I knew I'd be attending a reception that had no immediate exit and would surely have loud music in dark spaces, I wouldn't attend now, but there's a really good chance the host- unless it was my fiancé or two close friends, wouldn't know of these issues. Doesn't mean your reception is wrong, or needs to be changed, but it's not what one typically thinks of as a reception, so please just be sure all guests know what the party entails! :)
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