Wedding Woes

Is there anybody out there?

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Re: Is there anybody out there?

  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2016
    Lots of hugs, V.  You didn't deserve what happened, but you're better off now, regardless.
    kimmiinthemittenVarunaTT
  • @VarunaTT, I am so sorry for the year you have had!  It's bad enough to lose your job, but to find out they were looking for a replacement a month before is like the sour cherry on top.  Hang in there!  I hope your next job is 10x better and that this turns out to be a blessing in disguise.

    @MissKittyDanger, We've moved twice with our cat.  She was just fine and dandy with our first move.  Spent a couple hours sniffing every inch of the new place, sniffing our furniture and some of the boxes as they came in (none of it new).  And then happily settled in.  But our current house, that was a whole different story!

    I don't know what was different, but she was very agitated while we were awake the first night.  After we went to sleep, and she is allowed to be in our room, she cried her sad meow for hours.  She is normally a very quiet cat, so it was mighty unusual.  My H finally put her in the bathroom and shut the door.  I thought it was mean and was upset with him, but it actually seemed to calm her down.  Maybe just being in a smaller, enclosed room felt more secure for her.  Thankfully, there was no repeat performance of her aria the second night.

    Growing up, we had a family friend with a beagle/German shepherd mix (Teddy).  Any time they got their suitcases out to get ready for a trip, Teddy would go and get every single one of his toys and put it in the suitcase.  So cute and funny!

    @AtomicBlonde, that was nice to give her some diapers to tide her through.  I'm with the other PPs.  It's one thing if a friend/family member has a legit, once in very great while financial crisis, but it sounds like this cousin just doesn't know how to live within her means.  Or get more "means", if her current income just isn't enough.  You and your H aren't obligated to give her anything but, if you're tempted in the future, I'd avoid cash.  Like @MNNEBride mentioned, a gift card to the grocery store or gas station would be better.

    Unfortunately, there are a shocking amount of people out there who just expect the rest of the world to support or partially support them.

    I mean you joke/think about using cloth diapers for your future kids.  Why doesn't your H's cousin do that and launder them herself?  Because it's gross, inconvenient and she doesn't want to.  Which is fine if she has the money to support herself and her children but, obviously she doesn't, so she needs to get her laundry basket out.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Blarg.

    At office depot printing our invitations, spent extra money for the linen cardstock, I printed them on the wrong side. Rather than spend the money on another pack of paper and another round of printing, I am just going to take them home and see if FH notices. I am bummed about it though.
  • @VarunaTT,  Just to make you smile.  When I was working in the jewelry industry, I flew from Iowa to Maryland to visit my boyfriend (FI, two days later).  When I returned, they had already hired my replacement!  Boss said he thought I wasn't coming back.  They all came to my wedding after sunset on Saturday.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    VarunaTT
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    I mean you joke/think about using cloth diapers for your future kids.  Why doesn't your H's cousin do that and launder them herself?  Because it's gross, inconvenient and she doesn't want to.  Which is fine if she has the money to support herself and her children but, obviously she doesn't, so she needs to get her laundry basket out.

    It's also wildly expensive to get started. You need 20-30 diapers, 6-8 covers, a sprayer attachment for the toilet, specific detergent, and easy access to a washing machine. If someone is already struggling with money, telling them they should go invest several hundred dollars to cloth diaper is ludicrous. The poorest 20% of families spent 14% of their income on diapers in 2014. They also spend more for diapers than wealthier parents because they don't have the cash outlay to purchase in bulk. Target often runs sales of diapers where they are $25 for a jumbo box and if you buy 2, you get a $10 gift card. Sounds great except when you have to make a choice between spending that $50 on diapers or food for your baby. 

    Cloth takes TIME and access to laundry.  A lot of low income families are limited on this too.
    DrillSergeantCatMNNEBride
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    @VarunaTT, a ((((((((((big hug))))))))))))) for you!

    And some bad boss stories, so you know you're not alone:

    https://whisper.sh/stories/5a645d0a-2dfe-46e3-befc-483f9229efcb/29-Bad-Boss-Horror-Stories
    VarunaTT
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    @charlotte989875 @mrsconn23 all okay on the Homefront?  I can't remember who else is from the Toledo or Indy areas. 
    image
  • @charlotte989875 @mrsconn23 all okay on the Homefront?  I can't remember who else is from the Toledo or Indy areas. 
    Thanks! We're good so far. We have a tornado watch for another hour and the thunder is starting up again. I was driving home when the first shelter in place came through. Stopped in Costco and they evacuated us to the cooler. First time hearing tornado sirens was a little scary. I called my coworker to ask what I was supposed to do. Turns out tornado protocol wasn't in our orientation packets. The drive home was creepy. 

    Hope everyone else is staying safe tonight!
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    @charlotte989875 @mrsconn23 all okay on the Homefront?  I can't remember who else is from the Toledo or Indy areas. 
    Thanks! We're good so far. We have a tornado watch for another hour and the thunder is starting up again. I was driving home when the first shelter in place came through. Stopped in Costco and they evacuated us to the cooler. First time hearing tornado sirens was a little scary. I called my coworker to ask what I was supposed to do. Turns out tornado protocol wasn't in our orientation packets. The drive home was creepy. 

    Hope everyone else is staying safe tonight!
    Costco?! This is the order:
    1.  Basement
    2.  Ditch
    3.  Bathtub

    All kidding aside, glad you're okay. I've lived in Michigan all my life and am still running to the basement over a watch. We're no Kansas, but still. 
    image
    missJeanLouisecharlotte989875
  • Greenjinjo Greenjinjo New Zealand member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    @DrillSergeantCat have you tried having two litter trays? We found that our cat didn't like doing his business in the same tray and worked really well. Didn't have any problems of him going to the bathroom elsewhere after that. 
    DrillSergeantCat
  • @charlotte989875 @mrsconn23 all okay on the Homefront?  I can't remember who else is from the Toledo or Indy areas. 
    Thanks! We're good so far. We have a tornado watch for another hour and the thunder is starting up again. I was driving home when the first shelter in place came through. Stopped in Costco and they evacuated us to the cooler. First time hearing tornado sirens was a little scary. I called my coworker to ask what I was supposed to do. Turns out tornado protocol wasn't in our orientation packets. The drive home was creepy. 

    Hope everyone else is staying safe tonight!
    Costco?! This is the order:
    1.  Basement
    2.  Ditch
    3.  Bathtub

    All kidding aside, glad you're okay. I've lived in Michigan all my life and am still running to the basement over a watch. We're no Kansas, but still. 
    I was driving down in Bowling Green when the sirens went off because there was one in the area, my options were cornfield or Costco so I went with the giant concrete building. I was ok with the watch, but when the "tornado warning in your immediate area, take shelter now" emergency texts and alerts came through I got a little nervous. 
    kimmiinthemitten
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @charlotte989875 @mrsconn23 all okay on the Homefront?  I can't remember who else is from the Toledo or Indy areas. 
    Thanks! We're good so far. We have a tornado watch for another hour and the thunder is starting up again. I was driving home when the first shelter in place came through. Stopped in Costco and they evacuated us to the cooler. First time hearing tornado sirens was a little scary. I called my coworker to ask what I was supposed to do. Turns out tornado protocol wasn't in our orientation packets. The drive home was creepy. 

    Hope everyone else is staying safe tonight!
    Costco?! This is the order:
    1.  Basement
    2.  Ditch
    3.  Bathtub

    All kidding aside, glad you're okay. I've lived in Michigan all my life and am still running to the basement over a watch. We're no Kansas, but still. 
    I was driving home(Indy) from Carmel and it was pretty scary. We lucked out. There was a touch down about 10 minutes from our house. We use to stop at the Starbucks that was flattened in Kokomo. Looks like we might be in for more fun times today.
    charlotte989875kimmiinthemitten

  • I was driving home(Indy) from Carmel and it was pretty scary. We lucked out. There was a touch down about 10 minutes from our house. We use to stop at the Starbucks that was flattened in Kokomo. Looks like we might be in for more fun times today.
    @ILoveBeachMusic I work at Keystone Xing area and we heard sirens but of course ignored them since they seem to go off a lot. I think there was something confirmed near the fairgrounds, right?  So sad about everything in Kokomo, the pictures of the apartment complex and Starbucks were crazy. 
  • re: the diapers, I know people who have done cloth diapers.  Not for me, but a valid choice.  And yes, they can be very expensive and labor intensive.  Just wanted to add that I have never seen a daycare that will accept cloth diapers.  They may be out there, but they literally do not exist where I am.  You can always do cloth at home and send disposables to DC, but that's more of an environmental thing than a cost saving measure.
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I knew I was forgetting something on the diapers.  I was seriously considering it with 6let, but no daycare would use them.  Someone short on cash is probably also limited on daycare choices.
    Heffalump
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    @Heffalump & @6fsn My daycare allows them, but it means even more cost to provide extra wet bags for them. I considered cloth diapers briefly, but it was too much upfront cost for us. When I was considering them, I had some friends tell me that I should check with my daycare because most daycares won't accept them. 

    @Greenjinjo I have considered it, but the problem now is that we have another baby on the way so the room (yes the cats got an entire room) the box is in is going to be converted to a nursery if this is a girl. The dog really enjoys litter covered cat turds as an after dinner aperitif so I have to put it somewhere I can keep him out. That means it's probably going in the shower in the master bathroom since it's really too small for an adult to use. There won't be room for another box. I need a bigger house.

    @charlotte989875 I'm glad to hear you're safe. I live in Oklahoma and very close to Moore. 3 years ago, Moore had a devastating tornado rip through town. Several people took shelter in the cooler at a gas station. They didn't survive. Be careful with these things! I hope today is better than yesterday.
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    kvruns said:

    I was driving home(Indy) from Carmel and it was pretty scary. We lucked out. There was a touch down about 10 minutes from our house. We use to stop at the Starbucks that was flattened in Kokomo. Looks like we might be in for more fun times today.
    @ILoveBeachMusic I work at Keystone Xing area and we heard sirens but of course ignored them since they seem to go off a lot. I think there was something confirmed near the fairgrounds, right?  So sad about everything in Kokomo, the pictures of the apartment complex and Starbucks were crazy. 
    21st and Ritter. I drove right by Keystone on my way home. Glad you are safe. Yes very sad about Kokomo especially since the same area was hit three years ago and people had rebuilt!
  • kvruns said:

    I was driving home(Indy) from Carmel and it was pretty scary. We lucked out. There was a touch down about 10 minutes from our house. We use to stop at the Starbucks that was flattened in Kokomo. Looks like we might be in for more fun times today.
    @ILoveBeachMusic I work at Keystone Xing area and we heard sirens but of course ignored them since they seem to go off a lot. I think there was something confirmed near the fairgrounds, right?  So sad about everything in Kokomo, the pictures of the apartment complex and Starbucks were crazy. 
    21st and Ritter. I drove right by Keystone on my way home. Glad you are safe. Yes very sad about Kokomo especially since the same area was hit three years ago and people had rebuilt!
    are you close to 21st/Ritter? So scary 
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2016

    To the people who responded about cloth diapers, thanks for the enlightenment!  I promise not to talk out of my a** next time about something I don't know anything about, lol.  I've merely seen them and they didn't look like they would be very expensive, but I didn't realize there were more items needed to make them work (other than access to a washer and dryer).

    Or about the daycare issues.  Which makes perfect sense.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    bleve0821
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    kvruns said:
    kvruns said:

    I was driving home(Indy) from Carmel and it was pretty scary. We lucked out. There was a touch down about 10 minutes from our house. We use to stop at the Starbucks that was flattened in Kokomo. Looks like we might be in for more fun times today.
    @ILoveBeachMusic I work at Keystone Xing area and we heard sirens but of course ignored them since they seem to go off a lot. I think there was something confirmed near the fairgrounds, right?  So sad about everything in Kokomo, the pictures of the apartment complex and Starbucks were crazy. 
    21st and Ritter. I drove right by Keystone on my way home. Glad you are safe. Yes very sad about Kokomo especially since the same area was hit three years ago and people had rebuilt!
    are you close to 21st/Ritter? So scary 
    I'm on the NE side of town. On Binford it would probably only be 10-15 mins to 21st/Ritter.
  • @charlotte989875 @mrsconn23 all okay on the Homefront?  I can't remember who else is from the Toledo or Indy areas. 
    Thanks! We're good so far. We have a tornado watch for another hour and the thunder is starting up again. I was driving home when the first shelter in place came through. Stopped in Costco and they evacuated us to the cooler. First time hearing tornado sirens was a little scary. I called my coworker to ask what I was supposed to do. Turns out tornado protocol wasn't in our orientation packets. The drive home was creepy. 

    Hope everyone else is staying safe tonight!
    I hope you are never in such a position again, but if you ever have the choice between a big box store and a smaller (but still permanent) structure, choose the smaller structure. The big box stores tend to collapse during tornados. Because there is no internal support (no inside walls or columns), the roofs of stores like Walmart, Costco, etc., tend to fall straight down and flatten anything underneath. A group of volunteer firefighters I knew went to help immediately after the Joplin tornado. They were sent to the Home Depot there, which they were told would mean recovery, not rescue, because of that very issue. I am glad that Costco had a cooler and that you are unharmed.
    "Marriage is so disruptive to one's social circle." - Mr. Woodhouse
  • @charlotte989875 @mrsconn23 all okay on the Homefront?  I can't remember who else is from the Toledo or Indy areas. 
    Thanks! We're good so far. We have a tornado watch for another hour and the thunder is starting up again. I was driving home when the first shelter in place came through. Stopped in Costco and they evacuated us to the cooler. First time hearing tornado sirens was a little scary. I called my coworker to ask what I was supposed to do. Turns out tornado protocol wasn't in our orientation packets. The drive home was creepy. 

    Hope everyone else is staying safe tonight!
    I hope you are never in such a position again, but if you ever have the choice between a big box store and a smaller (but still permanent) structure, choose the smaller structure. The big box stores tend to collapse during tornados. Because there is no internal support (no inside walls or columns), the roofs of stores like Walmart, Costco, etc., tend to fall straight down and flatten anything underneath. A group of volunteer firefighters I knew went to help immediately after the Joplin tornado. They were sent to the Home Depot there, which they were told would mean recovery, not rescue, because of that very issue. I am glad that Costco had a cooler and that you are unharmed.
    Thanks! I felt very unprepared for a tornado, I gues they don't tend to happy here very often, but often enough that I should have known what to do. Thankfully everything was fine. 
    LadyCatherineDB
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    well, if y'all wanna talk cloth diapers, heaven knows CD parents are obsessive about them.  ANd I was one of the folks who did it :).
    So feel free to ask.
    (We only managed it because she stayed w/ family though--there are daycares that do it, but laws vary by state, including some states that insist on separate wetbags for each diaper, which is the height of stupidity)

    We did it cheap, and the startup was still expensive.
    But there are cheap(er) options, depending on time and hassle and your individual factors. (BTW, having your water go out when you're doing cloth is hell)


    I have been in home repair limbo hell.  I still don't have a sink.  but I do have cupboards!
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