Wedding Cakes & Food Forum

No Cake for Me?

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Re: No Cake for Me?

  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited September 2016
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    She could buy herself a cupcake.
    Knottie1473800542
  • 2. It has nothing to do with being "shit-faced" but seeing as how many of the responders in here think its an odd thing, when the cake smashing is a norm in my world, I think it might be a cultural difference. It is tradition for guests to try and get a bit of their cake in your face- a tradition I have attempted to duck my entire life and have had random folks forget and still pull on me. Earlier this year, his grands (who are invited) presented me with a cake, smashed it and yes, I had to employ an epipen. They simply forgot. 

    I spent several weeks going over possible dinner choices and menus I rarely eat out because of the allergies I have, but this is a special occasion and not the first thing I've had to stand my ground on- just the latest one upon joining the site. 

    I've already moved on to standing my ground with the same FMIL over my honeymoon. She wants to come with us. :)
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    2. It has nothing to do with being "shit-faced" but seeing as how many of the responders in here think its an odd thing, when the cake smashing is a norm in my world, I think it might be a cultural difference. It is tradition for guests to try and get a bit of their cake in your face- a tradition I have attempted to duck my entire life and have had random folks forget and still pull on me. Earlier this year, his grands (who are invited) presented me with a cake, smashed it and yes, I had to employ an epipen. They simply forgot. 

    I spent several weeks going over possible dinner choices and menus I rarely eat out because of the allergies I have, but this is a special occasion and not the first thing I've had to stand my ground on- just the latest one upon joining the site. 

    I've already moved on to standing my ground with the same FMIL over my honeymoon. She wants to come with us. :)
    What kind of culture insists on smashing cake in people's faces? I've seriously never heard of this. Maybe it's just your family - and in that case, just ask them to not do it. 

    charlotte989875
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    2. It has nothing to do with being "shit-faced" but seeing as how many of the responders in here think its an odd thing, when the cake smashing is a norm in my world, I think it might be a cultural difference. It is tradition for guests to try and get a bit of their cake in your face- a tradition I have attempted to duck my entire life and have had random folks forget and still pull on me. Earlier this year, his grands (who are invited) presented me with a cake, smashed it and yes, I had to employ an epipen. They simply forgot. 

    I spent several weeks going over possible dinner choices and menus I rarely eat out because of the allergies I have, but this is a special occasion and not the first thing I've had to stand my ground on- just the latest one upon joining the site. 

    I've already moved on to standing my ground with the same FMIL over my honeymoon. She wants to come with us. :)
    This is a weird thing that happens in your circles.  It's not a cultural thing.  I still think you're making this a much bigger deal than you needed to. 


    image
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2016
    2. It has nothing to do with being "shit-faced" but seeing as how many of the responders in here think its an odd thing, when the cake smashing is a norm in my world, I think it might be a cultural difference. It is tradition for guests to try and get a bit of their cake in your face- a tradition I have attempted to duck my entire life and have had random folks forget and still pull on me. Earlier this year, his grands (who are invited) presented me with a cake, smashed it and yes, I had to employ an epipen. They simply forgot. 

    I spent several weeks going over possible dinner choices and menus I rarely eat out because of the allergies I have, but this is a special occasion and not the first thing I've had to stand my ground on- just the latest one upon joining the site. 

    I've already moved on to standing my ground with the same FMIL over my honeymoon. She wants to come with us. 


     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqyixwqiCag&feature=youtu.be
  • I barely understand people doing it at weddings, but now you're telling me there is an entire culture with people out there who are just compelled to smash cake in people's faces any time there is cake present for no reason whatsoever AND this culture consists of people who are incapable of listening to polite requests to not do it and will blatantly ignore said requests?  Cause I find that mind-boggling.

    1.  It's a waste of perfectly good cake.  I'd have to imagine said culture is either some lineage of royalty who has never wanted for food or people who never had to live through the great depression or whose own parents never lived through it because my grandparents would be mortified to waste cake like that.

    2.  Honestly, it sounds more like they hate you than some cultural tradition.  They smash food in your face and ignore your requests to not do so, especially when informing them of life-threatening allergies?  Doesn't sound like people who like you very much.
    SwissMs
  • Are your future relatives Hispanic? That's the only culture I've heard of that does any kind of cake smash, but it's a birthday tradition and only the person whose birthday it is gets cake in the face.
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    OP mentioned visas needed to attend the wedding, so it's possible that this is a foreign country and a culture we know nothing about.

    I was surprised by all the cash rubbed on the foreheads of the bride and groom at a reception where the groom was first generation American, and his parents Nigerian. It wasn't the tacky version of the dollar dance we know, but a cultural significance and unprompted...no one was invited to come up and give money to dance with them. Other countries do have different traditions. 
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers
    edited October 2016
    OP mentioned visas needed to attend the wedding, so it's possible that this is a foreign country and a culture we know nothing about.

    I was surprised by all the cash rubbed on the foreheads of the bride and groom at a reception where the groom was first generation American, and his parents Nigerian. It wasn't the tacky version of the dollar dance we know, but a cultural significance and unprompted...no one was invited to come up and give money to dance with them. Other countries do have different traditions. 
    Oh,  I'm sure there are all sorts of traditions I'm not aware of.  But love and respect are fairly universal.  If I told people who are my family or soon to be family "this tradition could kill me", i'd give them a pass once on "forgetting" and thereafter could trust that people who actually like and respect me to take care.  I have a number of food sensitivities and allergies.  My friends and family are aware but often don't remember the specifics.  So you know what they do?  They ask me before serving me food and don't smash it in my face.  Also,  we're not talking about a ballroom full of hundreds of people, some of whom may not be aware of the allergies and could sneak up on her at anytime and attack her with gluten.  We're talking 10 people max (parents and grandparents) in a restaurant eating dinner.  So yeah, I call bs on this tradition and worry over it. Sounds more like they don't like or respect her and the feeling is mutual so she's digging her heels in to not compromise.  And that's her prerogative; I just call bs on her reasoning for it. 
    climbingsinglelnixon8levioosa
  • 2. It has nothing to do with being "shit-faced" but seeing as how many of the responders in here think its an odd thing, when the cake smashing is a norm in my world, I think it might be a cultural difference. It is tradition for guests to try and get a bit of their cake in your face- a tradition I have attempted to duck my entire life and have had random folks forget and still pull on me. Earlier this year, his grands (who are invited) presented me with a cake, smashed it and yes, I had to employ an epipen. They simply forgot. 

    I spent several weeks going over possible dinner choices and menus I rarely eat out because of the allergies I have, but this is a special occasion and not the first thing I've had to stand my ground on- just the latest one upon joining the site. 

    I've already moved on to standing my ground with the same FMIL over my honeymoon. She wants to come with us. :)
    Well that is just plain rude and inconsiderate. Cultural or not, I would definitely be re-considering my relationship with people who purposefully do anything to me that would cause me to pull out my epi-pen. Not cool. And where is your fiance in all of this? Has he not told them "NO!" when he sees the cake coming out?

    I would either a) provide cake, but make a verbal statement that there will be NO cake smashing (your FI would do this) or b) provide a different dessert for dinner than you can eat, or that wouldn't be smashed- like ice cream?.

    As for your FMIL- oh my. Again, where is your fiance in all of this? He should firmly be telling his mother NO!
    MesmrEwe
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