Thursday

tawillers · November 2016

mrsconn23 said:

DH does not give a hoot what I spend on hair and nails.

However, he *bitches* hard core about make-up. He hates when I wear it (even though I rarely do and when I do have it on, it's very subtle). I've just taken to telling him that it's not for him, it's for me and he needs to STFU.

Same here. There's nothing to bitch about when it comes to hair. I get my hair cut 2 times a year, max and I have started coloring it myself the last couple of years. The girls need haircuts too. I have cut DH and Son's hair for 10 years, so it's not like we spend ridiculous amounts on maintenance.

Now makeup? He is not a fan. I'm not comfortable going without, so I wear it every day. He just doesn't understand why I need all the different things I have. And I don't do eyeshadows or lip colors or contouring or anything that takes skill. I just like my face to look clean and smooth and I do love mascara.

MissKittyDanger · November 2016

*Barbie* said:

@MissKittyDanger 7/7.5 - I'm hoping Wolverine ends up a different size because I don't want to share.

I'm roughly same but typically 7.
It could be a good thing if Wolverine ends up same size, less shoes to buy for her and more for you

bleve0821 · November 2016

Today is one of those days where life is getting in the way of my job. In the span of the last hour, I have gotten no less than 10 emails about closing, moving, and renting the house. I want to toss my computer into the parking lot. I HAD AN AGENDA, PEOPLE. I have had to reheat my morning cuppa 3 times, and I still have barely touched it.

And I just got another one about H's presence being required at closing. NO. I asked about that two weeks ago! *hangs head* I am feeling a trip to the rooftop bar tonight.

Re: Wife Maintenance (totally using that from now on)

DH doesn't get why I want to even get my hair cut. He does not understand "because the ends are gross." Yet he goes in for a trim every six weeks like clockwork. So I go in two or three times a year and get inches lopped off (hair is almost to my waist) and he has a mini freakout. DUDE, IT NEEDED IT. YOU CAN'T EVEN REALLY TELL.

He gives 0 fucks about my nails, or if I want a facial or something. Just my hair. I buy makeup once in a blue moon, and wear it even less frequently. Very rarely do I wear anything more than a little eyeliner or mascara. I probably need at least some kind of foundation, but it's a hassle I am not willing to deal with before dawn on the regular.

Shoes, though... and sweaters. He gives me crap every time I buy something new.

lyndausvi · November 2016

Another exciting day at my house. I didn't drop off the ballots yesterday, so I will do that today. It's about 1.5 miles away, so I nice walk. Just waiting for the sun to warm us up a little.

DH doesn't question wife maintenance (love the term BTW). It helps his mom was a hair dresser. His sister is a hair stylist. His other sister is always getting her hair/makeup/nails done. They spend an obnoxious amounts of money on clothes.

I wear minimal makeup and get my hair done about every 2.5-3.5 months. I love massages and get those a few times a year. Pedis often in the summer, not so much in the winter. Never get manis. I hate shopping and pretty much only shop for a purpose. I do have decent boot collection, but other than that I'm pretty minimal.

He compares me to his family and is amazed at how little I spend. Ha. If anything he encourages me to spend more.

*Barbie* · November 2016

old pic, but today's shoes:

Broke in some new shoes today - gave a 50 minute talk to GiftedTalented 8th graders about college careers and planning for a successful future Figured I had better dress the part juniorachievement womeninbusiness stem highheels

thefanciestbeckler · November 2016

Lol @ Wife Maintenance! I love that and will be stealing it for future use. Maybe if I put it in terms DH understands he will lay off Wife maintenance is just like truck maintenance, right? In all reality, I spend very little on WM, but DH has nothing to compare it to. He was raised by a single dad.

@MissKittyDanger DH mostly likes video games and buying truck parts. Usually when I compare getting my hair done to the money he spends on those things he shuts up.

6fsn · November 2016

I don't give two shits about baseball.

I hosted bible study study for the first time ever this morning. I was really scared especially since I don't really know a lot of these women and I also don't know what we're studying. It was amazing. Truly amazing.

I used to really splurge on skincare because I didn't use much and I almost never wore makeup to work. Now I'm very minimal in skincare and have been buying pricier (to me) makeup.

I love getting haircuts but I always wait too long to make the appointment and spend a two weeks going nuts. I'm in the going nuts phase right now. It's out of control. Our season tickets get free hair cuts whenever the team scores three goals in a home game so I justify my pricier cuts with their free ones. We also get two massages with the tickets. Dh hates massages so I use his.

charlotte989875 · November 2016

I know there are a lot of opinions on here re:abortion, but I have to vent for a minute. There are anti-choice protesters on campus here today, with graphic, fake pictures, yelling terrible things, arguing with students, and generally making me ragey. They're entitled to their opinion, but keep it away from my office. They're not even students.

kvruns · November 2016

@oliveoilsmom which system is it? We saw the 4 moms stroller and car seat with built in wifi and bluetooth - it's like $1300 for the set. wtf.

short+sassy · November 2016

AtomicBlonde said:

Today is one of those days where life is getting in the way of my job. In the span of the last hour, I have gotten no less than 10 emails about closing, moving, and renting the house. I want to toss my computer into the parking lot. I HAD AN AGENDA, PEOPLE. I have had to reheat my morning cuppa 3 times, and I still have barely touched it.

And I just got another one about H's presence being required at closing. NO. I asked about that two weeks ago! *hangs head* I am feeling a trip to the rooftop bar tonight.

Re: Wife Maintenance (totally using that from now on)

DH doesn't get why I want to even get my hair cut. He does not understand "because the ends are gross." Yet he goes in for a trim every six weeks like clockwork. So I go in two or three times a year and get inches lopped off (hair is almost to my waist) and he has a mini freakout. DUDE, IT NEEDED IT. YOU CAN'T EVEN REALLY TELL.

He gives 0 fucks about my nails, or if I want a facial or something. Just my hair. I buy makeup once in a blue moon, and wear it even less frequently. Very rarely do I wear anything more than a little eyeliner or mascara. I probably need at least some kind of foundation, but it's a hassle I am not willing to deal with before dawn on the regular.

Shoes, though... and sweaters. He gives me crap every time I buy something new.

@AtomicBlonde, Are you my secret twin? A Saints fan and now this. I also have long hair, though I only get mine trimmed about 1x/year. I also rarely wear make-up, if anything it is mascara and lipstick. I also hate mornings, which is part of why I decided at a young age that I just can't have a time consuming make-up or hair routine to get ready.

I color my hair about every 3 months or so. It's just a lighter version of my natural color, so I don't have to be too regular about it. I go back and forth with acrylics and the monthly fills they need. I have them at the moment. My H is great about my hair/nails regimen. Not only does he not complain about them, but he notices when I've had them done and compliments me.

(Sigh) Now to my big news for the day. More like the warning precursor to big and bad news coming. I'm definitely going to be losing my job . They are shutting things down on the projects I work on. Not sure exactly when, but the end of December is the best I can hope for. I've sent out a resume here and there, because things haven't been looking good for awhile. But now I need to seriously amp up my job search and stop procrastinating on doing a cash-out refi for one of my rental properties. When I really just want to stick my head in the ground like a ostrich.

On the good side, I do have alternate sources of income to help get me by, though my H doesn't work (AND HE SHOULD). But its definitely a big blow, even if it was expected. I'm feeling pretty down in the dumps right now and worried about the future. Plus I despise the frustrating exercise of crafting perfect cover letters and resumes for each job opening...only to hear from 10-20% of them, and that's if you're lucky.

On a side note, I have a ton of vacation time. It will get paid out to me when I'm laid off, but the taxes taken out will be extra vicious because it would be paid as a lump sum. I'm going to start taking a vacation day or two every week while I'm still employed.

MissKittyDanger · November 2016

@short+sassy booo

@thefanciestbeckler My H is a video gamer too! We actually did the math of percentage per year {average} his income vs my income and we pretty much ended up the same. Long run he does buy more video games, because my makeup lasts longer

OliveOilsMom · November 2016

@kvruns I have no idea which system it was, but it was a brand I wasn't familiar with. H looked it up after MIL texted him and he saw the price and freaked! I'm not sure if it had wifi but that is just unnecessarily excessive!

@short+sassy I'm sorry about your job. I hope you can find something quickly that is much better than what you have now.

thefanciestbeckler · November 2016

@short+sassy oh I am so sorry about your job

I hope you're able to find something else quickly!

kvruns · November 2016

that stinks @short+sassy even if you've suspected it for a while it still hurts. We just had a good friend get laid off yesterday, not sure if it was expected or not (I suspected the company would so some layoffs at some point but I don't know if he knew his job was in jeopardy)

If you don't mind me asking, why does your H not work?

Heffalump · November 2016

I'm sorry to hear about your job @short+sassy. Good luck.

lyndausvi · November 2016

@short+sassy - sorry about your job. Not sure your tax situation, I'm sure it's more complicated because of your rentals. But, if you can always adjust your deductions in order to get a bigger check. That only works if you know you are on track for a refund, but it can help.

*Barbie* · November 2016

@short+sassy - sorry about the job. can your H do something in the interim to help out/build up some extra buffer? with the holidays coming up, people are always looking for seasonal help

charlotte989875 · November 2016

That really sucks @short+sassy, all the wine for you tonight.

short+sassy · November 2016

@kvruns and @Barbie, my H is a computer guy extraordinaire/database admin./programmer type. He lost his last job over 3 years ago. It was the worst time in the economy and NOLA isn't exactly known for our "tech industry", so there isn't a lot of opportunity for him even in good times. Using NOLA and "tech industry" in the same sentence is pretty hilarious and an oxymoron.

With all that said, it does hugely piss me off that he hasn't tried harder to find something. I've even told him, "Hey! You have a college degree, management experience, and obviously amazing computer skills. So, how about you look outside of tech jobs, even if you might only make half the money?" He made a "hmmm...that's a good idea" kind of comment and I doubt he ever did it.

He's not lazy about working, but he's lazy about looking. And I know some of that is frustration from having a handful of job interviews over the last few years, that looked promising, and didn't lead to anything.

He was substantial help with a previous reno, that is now one of my rentals as well as with the current reno I have. He also does about 2/3rds of a flexible, pt independent contracting gig I have. So he doesn't sit around all day eating bon-bons. But still.

We will certainly be having another discussion tonight that time is almost up and we BOTH need to be looking for work NOW.

short+sassy · November 2016

lyndausvi said:

@short+sassy - sorry about your job. Not sure your tax situation, I'm sure it's more complicated because of your rentals. But, if you can always adjust your deductions in order to get a bigger check. That only works if you know you are on track for a refund, but it can help.

That's a great thought, but I always owe money at tax time because of my rentals and p/t IC gig.

Thanks everyone for the well wishes! Y'all are like my sweet Internet family and I appreciate the encouragement.

bleve0821 · November 2016

@short+sassy, you forgot to mention the fact that we are venturing into the world of income properties as well. We may just be twins

I'd also move back to NOLA in a heartbeat, if the city supported H's or my career. Alas.

So sorry to hear about your job. I hope things look better in the coming days. I guess the bright side to it is that you do see the writing on the wall. But obviously that doesn't make anything any less sucky.

OurWildKingdom · November 2016

@short+sassy, I'm so sorry about your job! Lots of hugs and chocolate!

My day did not start well. I slipped on the front stairs and bruised my tailbone.. I got to work and my computer was acting up. I checked my bank balance, and a check came out of my account that was supposed to come out of FW's.

So yeah, not great. But tomorrow is paycheck Friday.

short+sassy · November 2016

AtomicBlonde said:

@short+sassy, you forgot to mention the fact that we are venturing into the world of income properties as well. We may just be twins I'd also move back to NOLA in a heartbeat, if the city supported H's or my career. Alas.

So sorry to hear about your job. I hope things look better in the coming days. I guess the bright side to it is that you do see the writing on the wall. But obviously that doesn't make anything any less sucky.

That's right! That's a big one.

For the second bolded: Yes, it's a tough city to get a decent paying job in. Alas, as I am about to be reminded of again.

VarunaTT · November 2016

charlotte989875 said:

I know there are a lot of opinions on here re:abortion, but I have to vent for a minute. There are anti-choice protesters on campus here today, with graphic, fake pictures, yelling terrible things, arguing with students, and generally making me ragey. They're entitled to their opinion, but keep it away from my office. They're not even students.

I'm surprised this isn't happening on my local state university campus.

Last year campus went to a campus wide free speech zone policy. It's been horrible. The students themselves are trying to get it revoked (before the zone was in a designated area) b/c there are so many street preachers on campus doing their schtick that the preachers are actually interfering with students getting to class in a timely manner. And the students seem to be tired of being accosted. Even student religious organizations are irritated. Not to mention the employees who are tired of having to deal with it outside their windows all day, every day. I just had one friend post that she couldn't wait for winter, b/c it cut down on the preachers. Some of the student organizations have started reaching out to alumni, who are also trying to pull what strings/connections they have. It's been a massive disaster for this area.

MissKittyDanger · November 2016

@short+sassy I don't envy the job hunt

When I was looking for a job in my field {I now have one} it was so hard because 99.9999999% of the jobs wanted French since I live in a 'bilingual' city. It's a horrible hamster wheel when job hunting, hopefully you have better luck

*Barbie* · November 2016

@short+sassy - if your H has a strong software/programming background, there should be some good opportunities out there (possibly even remote/WFH) that he could try for. the only challenge to that is that a lot of the remote stuff seems to be outsourced). He could also go the route of independent consulting and start his own company.

DK is a software engineer and manages his company's global team for internal applications/development. He has a hell of a time finding good/qualified people.

Any chances of a move since you'd be looking as well, or would the rental properties and other factors prevent it?

charlotte989875 · November 2016

VarunaTT said:

charlotte989875 said:

I know there are a lot of opinions on here re:abortion, but I have to vent for a minute. There are anti-choice protesters on campus here today, with graphic, fake pictures, yelling terrible things, arguing with students, and generally making me ragey. They're entitled to their opinion, but keep it away from my office. They're not even students.

I'm surprised this isn't happening on my local state university campus.

Last year campus went to a campus wide free speech zone policy. It's been horrible. The students themselves are trying to get it revoked (before the zone was in a designated area) b/c there are so many street preachers on campus doing their schtick that the preachers are actually interfering with students getting to class in a timely manner. And the students seem to be tired of being accosted. Even student religious organizations are irritated. Not to mention the employees who are tired of having to deal with it outside their windows all day, every day. I just had one friend post that she couldn't wait for winter, b/c it cut down on the preachers. Some of the student organizations have started reaching out to alumni, who are also trying to pull what strings/connections they have. It's been a massive disaster for this area.

The first bolded also happened earlier this semester. The students are tired of it, the preachers and the anti-abortion groups yelled at students, belittled them, accosted them; they don't like it either. But, it's a state campus and a free speech zone, so they're here to stay. It's ridiculous.

And the second bolded; so much yes. I hate having to walk through these ridiculous charades on my way to class.

short+sassy · November 2016

*Barbie* said:

@short+sassy - if your H has a strong software/programming background, there should be some good opportunities out there (possibly even remote/WFH) that he could try for. the only challenge to that is that a lot of the remote stuff seems to be outsourced). He could also go the route of independent consulting and start his own company.

DK is a software engineer and manages his company's global team for internal applications/development. He has a hell of a time finding good/qualified people.

Any chances of a move since you'd be looking as well, or would the rental properties and other factors prevent it?

Thanks for the advice. I'll pass it on to him. He's 10 years older than me (in his early 50s) and has been working in the IT industry since almost the beginning (early 80s). I really don't know why it has been so difficult for him, he's very qualified, other than I think he has barely looked over the last couple years.

I know there are better job prospects elsewhere, especially for him, but I don't think moving makes sense for us because we do own our home plus the rental properties.

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