Wedding Woes

Vent thread

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Re: Vent thread

  • kvruns said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    I am having the hardest time deciding between insurance policies.  One is an HSA and the other is an EPO.  The price per paycheck difference is only $50-ish.  I'm just worried about OOP expenses.  

    I have until next Friday, but this has been giving me fits for a couple weeks now.  I cannot make a decision. 
    I know you're venting and not really asking for help, but.....
    Things to consider would be:
    -  deductibles
    - out of pocket max on each plan; is the OOP max embedded (meaning each family member is subject to his/her own max as opposed to having to hit the family max first -- though the ACA actually caps this now at $6850)
    - if you take the HSA plan does the company give you any money into your HSA or can you earn any through a wellness program
    - what are you/your family known health expenses - does anyone have a chronic health condition or a known upcoming expense like a surgery or are you guys usually healthy
    - depending on how many pay periods you have your difference in premiums is about $1200 so I would look at that and see how far off the plans are in terms of deductible/OOP and factor in the extra cost

    HDHP/HSA plans get a bad rap but for people who do not consume a lot of healthcare it can be a good option. I was on one until this year because we were trying to get pregnant and his PPO plan would cover maternity at $0 so it was a no brainer to switch. Being on an HSA for so many years allowed me to save money on premiums plus build a nice nest egg with my HSA account that would cover me up to and including my out of pocket max.  My PPO plan now actually has a much higher out of pocket max than I ever had on my HDHP plans but the way the plan is structured it would be unlikely to hit it
    ^^ All of this is excellent information when you're considering an HDHP. For myself and H, we are on my employer's plan and they only offer HDHPs with an HSA contribution. We currently have a $6k/$12k HDHP, pay no premium per paycheck and receive a total yearly HSA contribution from my employer of $3400. It's a no brainer. Even if next year we decide to have kids, I'm still staying on this plan because we have more than enough in our HSA and I like paying no premium out of my paycheck and putting money into my HSA instead.
    Thanks!  

    We've opted in to an HDHP before and the deductible stuff is what makes me nervous because we've gotten fucked on it before (due to not doing a good enough calculation).   We don't consume a ton of healthcare, beyond a doctor visit or two a year (outside annual exams/well-child). 

    My company doesn't pay a lot into the HSA for us.  My HSA contributions will cost me more than my insurance coverage.   I do get a premium discount (for any plan) for completing a health assessment and getting an annual exam.  
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @mrsconn23 If nothing else, at least you're doing your due diligence and educating yourself, rather than just picking the non-HDHP because you think it's safe and paying more out of your paycheck. If we had kids, or one of us had a chronic condition, I might pick one of the lower deductible options but for now, while we're healthy and young, the super high deductible makes sense for us. 
    mrsconn23
  •  If nothing else, at least you're doing your due diligence and educating yourself, rather than just picking the non-HDHP because you think it's safe and paying more out of your paycheck. If we had kids, or one of us had a chronic condition, I might pick one of the lower deductible options but for now, while we're healthy and young, the super high deductible makes sense for us. 
    like my H who has a PPO but never uses it. Although in his case the PPO is not much more expensive than the HDHP so I kind of get why he has always had it but still he could have accrued quite the HSA account for those "what ifs" had he been in one. 
    cupcait927mrsconn23
  • lyndausvi said:
    DH told me yesterday he was going to load the dishwasher but he didn't know how to open the door.


    The boy is a profession chef.  His kitchen is not even 2 years old and has the latest in technology.   Some of the equipment he has hooks up to an app on his phone.   Yet, he actually thinks I would believe he can't figure out how to open a household dishwasher.   Yeah, okay.
    Might be a guy thing. I asked mine to put dirty dishes in before he went to bed, he did not. He "forgot" because he was tired.
    Okay bud, I'll just do it at 6:30am since I'm obviously going to be wide awake.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited November 2016
    lyndausvi said:
    DH told me yesterday he was going to load the dishwasher but he didn't know how to open the door.


    The boy is a profession chef.  His kitchen is not even 2 years old and has the latest in technology.   Some of the equipment he has hooks up to an app on his phone.   Yet, he actually thinks I would believe he can't figure out how to open a household dishwasher.   Yeah, okay.
    Might be a guy thing. I asked mine to put dirty dishes in before he went to bed, he did not. He "forgot" because he was tired.
    Okay bud, I'll just do it at 6:30am since I'm obviously going to be wide awake.
    I told my sister the story and she said her teenage son has the same issue.  HA


    At work he is a clean freak.  The inspectors say he has the cleanest kitchen in the valley.  I know he knows how to do it.  


    ETA - another vent.  They are replacing some of our siding because of water damage.  They started last Wednesday.  Barely worked at all on Friday. No work this weekend.   Didn't start until after 10am this morning.   At this rate it will be a while until they are done.

    We have also been finding scraps of wood with nails sticking up right outside our door.  We have 2 dogs.    I'm so over it.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    MissKittyDanger
  • mrsconn23 said:
    kvruns said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    I am having the hardest time deciding between insurance policies.  One is an HSA and the other is an EPO.  The price per paycheck difference is only $50-ish.  I'm just worried about OOP expenses.  

    I have until next Friday, but this has been giving me fits for a couple weeks now.  I cannot make a decision. 
    I know you're venting and not really asking for help, but.....
    Things to consider would be:
    -  deductibles
    - out of pocket max on each plan; is the OOP max embedded (meaning each family member is subject to his/her own max as opposed to having to hit the family max first -- though the ACA actually caps this now at $6850)
    - if you take the HSA plan does the company give you any money into your HSA or can you earn any through a wellness program
    - what are you/your family known health expenses - does anyone have a chronic health condition or a known upcoming expense like a surgery or are you guys usually healthy
    - depending on how many pay periods you have your difference in premiums is about $1200 so I would look at that and see how far off the plans are in terms of deductible/OOP and factor in the extra cost

    HDHP/HSA plans get a bad rap but for people who do not consume a lot of healthcare it can be a good option. I was on one until this year because we were trying to get pregnant and his PPO plan would cover maternity at $0 so it was a no brainer to switch. Being on an HSA for so many years allowed me to save money on premiums plus build a nice nest egg with my HSA account that would cover me up to and including my out of pocket max.  My PPO plan now actually has a much higher out of pocket max than I ever had on my HDHP plans but the way the plan is structured it would be unlikely to hit it
    ^^ All of this is excellent information when you're considering an HDHP. For myself and H, we are on my employer's plan and they only offer HDHPs with an HSA contribution. We currently have a $6k/$12k HDHP, pay no premium per paycheck and receive a total yearly HSA contribution from my employer of $3400. It's a no brainer. Even if next year we decide to have kids, I'm still staying on this plan because we have more than enough in our HSA and I like paying no premium out of my paycheck and putting money into my HSA instead.
    Thanks!  

    We've opted in to an HDHP before and the deductible stuff is what makes me nervous because we've gotten fucked on it before (due to not doing a good enough calculation).   We don't consume a ton of healthcare, beyond a doctor visit or two a year (outside annual exams/well-child). 

    My company doesn't pay a lot into the HSA for us.  My HSA contributions will cost me more than my insurance coverage.   I do get a premium discount (for any plan) for completing a health assessment and getting an annual exam.  
    Every year, we look at the HDHP because we use very little healthcare (knock on all the wood).  Checkups, and usually one sick visit apiece, occasionally a cheap Rx (amoxicillin or similar).  But yeah, I'm always scared that the year we go for it will be the year I get appendicitis and one of the kids breaks a leg in three places.  So we're on the regular plan again next year. :)
    mrsconn23cowgirl8238
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    So, I'm putting together a lamp we got at the shower yesterday and it's missing pieces.  So, per the instruction booklet I call the 800 number for parts and service, and there is no parts and service line.  So I follow the phone instructions and visit their webpage where there isn't an easy and obvious "click here for product support."  I just want the 10 metal rings, I don't want to attempt to repackage the entire box and exchange it.
    image
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    So, I'm putting together a lamp we got at the shower yesterday and it's missing pieces.  So, per the instruction booklet I call the 800 number for parts and service, and there is no parts and service line.  So I follow the phone instructions and visit their webpage where there isn't an easy and obvious "click here for product support."  I just want the 10 metal rings, I don't want to attempt to repackage the entire box and exchange it.
    well that's not cool.

    I would just call the main number.  The  place might just be so small they don't have a separate department.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    lyndausvi said:
    So, I'm putting together a lamp we got at the shower yesterday and it's missing pieces.  So, per the instruction booklet I call the 800 number for parts and service, and there is no parts and service line.  So I follow the phone instructions and visit their webpage where there isn't an easy and obvious "click here for product support."  I just want the 10 metal rings, I don't want to attempt to repackage the entire box and exchange it.
    well that's not cool.

    I would just call the main number.  The  place might just be so small they don't have a separate department.
    It ended up being the main number.  We somehow managed to box it all up and get the top closed on the box so we'll be returning it to Target tomorrow.

    We apparently just have bad luck with getting our shower gifts whole.
    image
  • *Barbie* said:
    My vent is when potential employers ask you for your salary requirements. If I go in too high, I'm rejected. If I go in too low, I could leave money on the table. Why don't you just tell me what the job pays and I'll smile and say that's wonderful?



    SITB - employers need to be more upfront about this in general. DK was testing the market earlier in the year and was very up front with his minimum requirements. despite that, a company had him go through several rounds of interviews (in person and on telecon) only to offer him $15K less than his bare minimum acceptable number, and be completely unwilling/unable to increase at all. His minimum number only took into account his base and bonus from last year, not even his benefits (which are pretty good - especially the health plan) - so his counter was about 120% of their offer - which would more of less put him at a break even point - and he gave them that justification. He turned it down in the end, but i was pretty pissed on his behalf at them having him jump through hoops when he was clear from the beginning about his salary requirements (which were way over their budget.)


    1,000 times yes.  I'm in the job hunt at the moment and this is a constant irritation.

    My experience is, for the most part, in project support/admin and exec. assistance.  That can encompass a wide range of job posts and salaries.  I end up having to guess from the job description and sometimes length of the job description if it is even worth my time to apply.

    I wouldn't be surprised if I've missed out on potential opportunities because I assumed they didn't pay enough.  I've DEFINITELY gone on interviews (in the past) only to find out they're paying half of what they should and what I expected.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    They are still working on our siding.   There is a little fire under their's asses because it's to drop to freezing and snow on Thursday.   I'm just annoyed that last Tuesday we bought a electric heater thing for the deck.  The deck has been unable sine Wednesday.   Of course, it's been beautiful to sit outside with the heater.

    Now it seems they will not finished until the day the weather changes and we will not be able to really use the heater.


    :disappointed:






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    So DH talked me into buying that leaf blower that he wanted just days before our move, so I paid extra for express shipping to have it delivered in time for him to use it. Yesterday, he was walking through our brand spanking new yard, and do know what the asshat told me?

    "I'm going to need a bigger leaf blower."

    :angry:


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    SP29cowgirl8238
  • So DH talked me into buying that leaf blower that he wanted just days before our move, so I paid extra for express shipping to have it delivered in time for him to use it. Yesterday, he was walking through our brand spanking new yard, and do know what the asshat told me?

    "I'm going to need a bigger leaf blower."

    :angry:
    Time for divorce! jk, but what an asshat.
    TrixieJess
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    So DH talked me into buying that leaf blower that he wanted just days before our move, so I paid extra for express shipping to have it delivered in time for him to use it. Yesterday, he was walking through our brand spanking new yard, and do know what the asshat told me?

    "I'm going to need a bigger leaf blower."

    :angry:
    I'm going to be blunt here.  It might not be your intention, but your stories about your H (can't even add the "dear") makes him come across as an asshole. A big one at that.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    banana468*Barbie*OliveOilsMomcowgirl8238
  • lyndausvi said:
    So DH talked me into buying that leaf blower that he wanted just days before our move, so I paid extra for express shipping to have it delivered in time for him to use it. Yesterday, he was walking through our brand spanking new yard, and do know what the asshat told me?

    "I'm going to need a bigger leaf blower."

    :angry:
    I'm going to be blunt here.  It might not be your intention, but your stories about your H (can't even add the "dear") makes him come across as an asshole. A big one at that.
    This.   I said it before and this sort of thing seems to come up.

    If he's not an asshole then either all your stories about him are only his problems or he really needs to work on how he uses his words and finances.  
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I was supposed to go to a comedy show, headlining Nick Swardson.  Looks like he canceled his entire weekend show.  I'm googling and he's canceled A LOT of shows due to "scheduling conflicts".   He also canceled his show in Chicagoland area back in May.  If he canceled his whole tour (which it looks like 3 in the past 2 months that I can see) why did they wait last minute to tell us?  I checked yesterday to see if I could add another ticket, and it showed 'sold out' not 'canceled' then.

  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited November 2016
    banana468 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    So DH talked me into buying that leaf blower that he wanted just days before our move, so I paid extra for express shipping to have it delivered in time for him to use it. Yesterday, he was walking through our brand spanking new yard, and do know what the asshat told me?

    "I'm going to need a bigger leaf blower."

    :angry:
    I'm going to be blunt here.  It might not be your intention, but your stories about your H (can't even add the "dear") makes him come across as an asshole. A big one at that.
    This.   I said it before and this sort of thing seems to come up.

    If he's not an asshole then either all your stories about him are only his problems or he really needs to work on how he uses his words and finances.  
    No, it's not my intention to protray him as an asshole.  DH irritates me at times. Very rarely does he actually piss me off. The leaf blower thing is an irritation. He needed it for the old house, discovered it's not powerful enough for the new place, made an observation that irritated me, and hasn't since expressed any intention to buy a bigger one.  Expressing my irritation with him on a vent thread does not make him an asshole or financially irresponsible. 

    But moving forward, I will be sure to temper my comments expressing irritation/frustration with DH's thoughtless comments.

    ETA words.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    ShesSoColdcharlotte989875
  • banana468 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    So DH talked me into buying that leaf blower that he wanted just days before our move, so I paid extra for express shipping to have it delivered in time for him to use it. Yesterday, he was walking through our brand spanking new yard, and do know what the asshat told me?

    "I'm going to need a bigger leaf blower."

    :angry:
    I'm going to be blunt here.  It might not be your intention, but your stories about your H (can't even add the "dear") makes him come across as an asshole. A big one at that.
    This.   I said it before and this sort of thing seems to come up.

    If he's not an asshole then either all your stories about him are only his problems or he really needs to work on how he uses his words and finances.  
    No, it's not my intention to protray him as an asshole.  DH irritates me at times. Very rarely does he actually piss me off. The leaf blower thing is an irritation. He needed it for the old house, discovered it's not powerful enough for the new place, made an observation that irritated me, and hasn't since expressed any intention to buy a bigger one.  Expressing my irritation with him on a vent thread does not make him an asshole or financially irresponsible. 

    But moving forward, I will be sure to temper my comments expressing irritation/frustration with DH's thoughtless comments.

    ETA words.
    Mr. Conn sounds a lot like your H.  He's pulled the same shit like the leaf blower with other stuff.  I feel you on your irritations with him.  ;) 

    Mr. Conn is famous for being all for "fiscal" responsibility one moment and then wanting to make some expensive-ass asinine purchase the next.  I just talk him off the ledge...or sometimes I humor him.  ;) 
    ThisShamanluvsaMageSP29
  • Can I vent about winter? Lol We got a bunch of snow for the first time and it hasn't stopped since Sunday morning and won't stop until like midnight.

    Whhyyyyyy!!!!
    LadyCatherineDB
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    yes, @MissKittyDanger, you can.  Shit's to early for that.  (we didn't have it yet, but I'm mad for all of you who had it)

    MissKittyDanger
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    @AtomicBlonde I thought the story about your H was funny. I would seriously want to backhand my H if he did that. 
    MissKittyDangerbleve0821charlotte989875short+sassy
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2016
    Can I vent about winter? Lol We got a bunch of snow for the first time and it hasn't stopped since Sunday morning and won't stop until like midnight.

    Whhyyyyyy!!!!

    (short&sassy quietly backs away from venting it was so cold over the weekend she almost had to put the heater on)

    Edited to clarify.  I did turn on my giant space heater that looks like a fireplace.  Just not the main one(s).

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    bleve0821MissKittyDangerLadyCatherineDB
  • Can I vent about winter? Lol We got a bunch of snow for the first time and it hasn't stopped since Sunday morning and won't stop until like midnight.

    Whhyyyyyy!!!!

    (short&sassy quietly backs away from venting it was so cold over the weekend she almost had to put the heater on)

    Edited to clarify.  I did turn on my giant space heater that looks like a fireplace.  Just not the main one(s).

    it got cold enough for us to turn on the heat back in early October :( I tried to hold off, but it was chilly. Hardwood sucks like that lmao
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Can I vent about winter? Lol We got a bunch of snow for the first time and it hasn't stopped since Sunday morning and won't stop until like midnight.

    Whhyyyyyy!!!!

    (short&sassy quietly backs away from venting it was so cold over the weekend she almost had to put the heater on)

    Edited to clarify.  I did turn on my giant space heater that looks like a fireplace.  Just not the main one(s).

    it got cold enough for us to turn on the heat back in early October :( I tried to hold off, but it was chilly. Hardwood sucks like that lmao
    My heat has been on for a month, too. It doesn't really run, but that's what the thermostat is switched to.
  • Can I vent about winter? Lol We got a bunch of snow for the first time and it hasn't stopped since Sunday morning and won't stop until like midnight.

    Whhyyyyyy!!!!

    (short&sassy quietly backs away from venting it was so cold over the weekend she almost had to put the heater on)

    Edited to clarify.  I did turn on my giant space heater that looks like a fireplace.  Just not the main one(s).

    it got cold enough for us to turn on the heat back in early October :( I tried to hold off, but it was chilly. Hardwood sucks like that lmao
    My heat has been on for a month, too. It doesn't really run, but that's what the thermostat is switched to.
    Same but we have to change our thermostat. We're likely going to next spring when we look into getting central air. Our bedroom is so cold :(
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    We haven't gotten really any snow yet.   Slopes were suppose to open on Thanksgiving day.   Doesn't look like that is going to happen.   :'(






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Same but we have to change our thermostat. We're likely going to next spring when we look into getting central air. Our bedroom is so cold :(
    My house is an L shape with the bedrooms being in the front and the kitchen, living and dining at the back. The furnace is in the garage by the kitchen so the back half of the house gets hot in the winter while the front half stays cold. Neither of the bathrooms have vents in them either so forget a bath with the door shut.
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