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Wedding Etiquette Forum
ppgbeb
member
Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue
Hi there everyone!
I am just starting all of my wedding planning from getting engaged in May 2016. I am planning a December 2017 wedding and I am SO excited! (As I assume most of you are ver excited also! Congrats to the future brides reading this!)
I am completely lost on what I should do about the tradition of "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue".
As I was growing up, my parents got divorced, almost everyone in my family has been divorced, making love a VERY hard thing for me to believe in. I just do not want to wear something of someones (the something old and borrowed) whose marriage did not work out, so I do not "jinx" the wedding day.
What do I do? What would be some ideas for the "something old and borrowed" if none of the marriages have worked in my family?
Also what are some fun "something blue" ideas?
I am just starting all of my wedding planning from getting engaged in May 2016. I am planning a December 2017 wedding and I am SO excited! (As I assume most of you are ver excited also! Congrats to the future brides reading this!)
I am completely lost on what I should do about the tradition of "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue".
As I was growing up, my parents got divorced, almost everyone in my family has been divorced, making love a VERY hard thing for me to believe in. I just do not want to wear something of someones (the something old and borrowed) whose marriage did not work out, so I do not "jinx" the wedding day.
What do I do? What would be some ideas for the "something old and borrowed" if none of the marriages have worked in my family?
Also what are some fun "something blue" ideas?
Re: Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue
Can you borrow something from a friend? My friend offered me her Tiffany pearls to wear the day of- I definitely took her up on that!
Something blue- underwear, shoes, jewelry, or paint your nails.
My something old was earrings from my mom (not from her wedding or anything, just a pair of hers), I borrowed a bracelet from my SIL because I couldn't find anything I liked in store, and my shoes had a little blue on them. And my dress and shoes were new. I didn't plan any of it, it just came together as I was finding things I needed for the day.
Also, you're not going to jinx anything. Your marriage, or what you wear/borrow on your wedding day, has nothing to do with the outcome of other people's marriages.
Second, at least to me, seems a little silly to dismiss every piece of jewelry a family member might lend you simply because they got divorced.
My MIL is divorced (twice), but I still accepted the diamond she gave us for my e-ring. The diamond was not part of an engagement ring. It wasn't even given to her by either husband. She bought diamond for herself. Again, I think it's a little silly to think ALL material objects of a divorced person are jinxed. Maybe something related to their weddings, but EVERYTHING they ever owned? Yeah, no.
As for me, I didn't set out to even do the something old, etc. As it turns out I ended up having them all. Unknown to me the dress shop had sewed a small blue bow inside the dress. My wedding underwear also had a blue bow. My mom gave me my grandmother's wedding band. Dress and shoes were new. I borrowed a bracelet from a jewelry store (which DH later bought).
I honestly didn't even do this when I got married two years ago. I did for my first wedding 10 years ago, and that ended in divorce. Go figure.
When I did this for my first wedding, my something old was a handkerchief that belonged to my grandfather. I pinned it inside my dress. My borrowed was a bracelet from my friend. Again, you are WAY overthinking this, and not something you need to worry about a year out.
old - late grandmother's diamond cocktail ring
new - anything I bought to wear for the wedding
borrowed - mom's pearl necklace
blue - underwear
Easy peasy.
My stuff was:
old: my bra
new: dress, shoes, accessories
borrowed: diamond stud earrings for my 2nd hole in my ears
blue: toenail polish
Keep in mind also that this tradition is not necessary at all. In this day and age, it is just a fun tradition. But if it is causing you more stress than fun, don't bother with it.
Congrats and enjoy the wedding planning!
Old-Mom's veil
Blue-Some shoes I had in my closet that matches our color scheme
Borrowed-a couple of pieces of MIL's jewelry
New-Garter
New: Dress, shoes, jewelry
Borrowed: I borrowed a jeweled tiara from a friend
Blue: My engagement ring has sapphires set on the sides
Your marriage will not be a failure if you don't have all these things. Conversely, having them doesn't guarantee a success. Don't sweat the small stuff.
2. That is, actually, how I read your OP, that you were of the mindset that items belonging to divorced family members have power over the success of your marriage. See bolded below:
We can only comment based on the information you provide.
Additionally, you were quoted so deleting your post doesn't have the effect you think it does.
Look, I understand you're just "a 20 year old girl," but flying off the handle over people saying not to worry is nuts.
My new was almost everything I was wearing. My blue was my underwear. My borrowed was the purse a friend used at her wedding. And for the life of me, I can't remember what my "old" was... because it's just not that important. Maybe it was the purse too.
All I know is that I remember the important stuff - the ceremony, the food, the dancing, the hanging out with friends, the afterparty. And the 7.5 years since then.
Chill, kid. Chill.
I am so sorry for the post, I am brand new to this discussion board, The Knot and wedding planning. I figured it would be like any other site and deleting a post would be possible, I will fix it back to its original! Please just give me a little room to mess up.
I just wanted to ask to please not say things like "maybe you need to mature more before you get married" off of a post on a webpage. How would you feel if someone you have never seen or met said that to you? Especially when I MESSED UP, I know I messed up, I take 100% blame. I chose a very poor choice of wording and I am sorry for that. I would never say anything like that to any of you, even though I do not know any of you. I will also fix my "deleted comments" even though they are still visible, I read to do that from someone on Google.com.
I am just like your girls, getting married, I may have a few extra little stresses you may also have and relate to, such as we just bought a house, dogs, college and family drama.
I would never say anything negative because of a post any of you lovely ladies made online. I am new to this and I would prefer to feel comfortable posting question and talking with y'all.
This is suppose to be a friendly community of brides supporting one another, that I do want to be apart of.
(Also the rude comment is because I'm getting personal, rude (hatefilled) messages from someone and I did not/do not know how to message back.)
Old: undergarments/earrings
New: dress/shoes
Borrowed: purse
Blue: Earrings
New: dress
Borrowed: mom's bracelet
Blue: shoes
New: shoes with cats on them
Blue: painted my toenails blue.
Something Borrowed: I have a few. Earrings that belonged to my grandmother and now belong to my mom and a pearl necklace from my best friend and maid of honor.
Something Blue: A sapphire ring that also belonged to my grandmother and now belongs to my mom.
Before I found the ring, I had thought of a couple of ideas for something blue. Blue toenails, blue pin heads that go in my bouquet and then some of the more typical things like underwear, garter, etc.
Thank you for the help, I love the something blue ideas!
With it was a note about how she originally had big plans and a perfect vision for the square and how she quickly realized that she should have paid more attention to her mother's sewing lessons. She said that she had to rip out seams and start over a hundred times and in the end it was nothing like she originally thought it would be. She spoke about how it's a great message about how marriage is about change and that over time expectations and dynamic will change and that you have to work to accommodate those changes in your marriage.
I love it SO much and of course, it brought tears to my eyes. She's right, it isn't the most beautiful piece of sewing I've ever seen, but it's the most meaningful one I've ever seen.
Congratulations girly!
Shoot, I can't sew, props to her. They're gorgeous, so happy for you!