Wedding Reception Forum

People getting mad over nothing

Tdanley0906Tdanley0906 member
First Comment
edited January 2017 in Wedding Reception Forum
My fiancé and I are planning a surprise free drink/shot song (shots by lmfao) during the reception and when it's played all of our guests will get either a shot or drink of their choice on us. We're already having wine and beer included with the reception plus a cash bar for those who prefer something other than wine or beer for the rest of the night. My question is what is a good way to make sure only one drink per person is served during that song? I was thinking drink tickets of some sort but I want it to be a surprise to the guests as well. The dj would of course announce what the tickets are for once the song comes on and get everyone pumped up lol
«1

Re: People getting mad over nothing

  • How is a cash bar rude? I actually discussed that with several family members who said that they thought it was a good idea to add a cash bar for premium drinks. It is rude to tell your guests they get only beer or wine and if they don't like it they can deal with it, this gives more options for the picky guests. The venue charges per person and there is not an option to pick and choose which guests we could add the extra liquor charge too so essentially money would be wasted by adding it to everyone. And the "ticket" per say  is to keep people from taking advantage of the "shots" song. The idea was initially for all guests to take a shot during that time but I know not everyone will want a shot. My family is not uptight and know we are not made of money so accommodating more options for them is not rude at all. 
  • You cannot compare a house party to a wedding with 100 plus ppl. The reception is a celebration/party for the newly married couple not a thank you for coming, that's what thank you cards and gifts are for. Like I said before my family members are not stuck up and know we are not rich and would be ok with paying for a few cocktails of their preference. 
  • The shots would be paid for as stated. Having cash bar does not mean I am forcing anyone to buy anything. It's simply an option for my guests basically saying I couldn't afford to pay for liquor but if you prefer it then it is there. It's more rude to say I could only afford this and that and if you don't like it oh well. No one is forcing anyone to buy the drinks from the cash bar it is there as an accommodation. I feel like people are so against cash bars because they think it makes them look cheap but I know my family and friends would rather have that extra option than to not have anything at all. It's not like it's going to be a surprise when they get there, it will be included in the invitations and on the website and honestly if they don't agree then they don't have to come. 
  • There is no way to make drink tickets look appealing. Beer and wine only is absolutely acceptable. If you want to be able to accommodate a few people who would like something different, cut something extra from your budget and you will be able to have an open bar. Put bottles of red and white on the table and very few people will actually take you up on anything else. We put bottles of red and white on tables, had beer available through roaming servers, AND had an open bar but only two people took advantage of something other than beer and wine.

  • Where did I say rich people were stuck up??? I said my family is not stuck up aka judgmental like most of the people on this site apparently and I stated they know we do not have a lot of money to splurge on this wedding so they would not be complaining about a cash bar or judging us negatively for it. And as far as a reception being for the guests, no matter what etiquette or whatever says, the entire night is focused on the bride and groom. The guests wait for the bride and grooms entrance, they wait for the first dance, the speeches about the bride and groom, the toast to the bride and groom, the cake cutting for the bride and groom and finally the grand exit for the BRIDE AND GROOM. So please tell me how that is saying thank you to the guests. They are being fed, entertained and given a few choices of alcohol plus the OPTION to purchase something we could not afford to provide them they can. Once again it is an OPTION and no one is being forced to purchase anything.
  • So you're getting angry at the fact that someone whom you don't even know is going to have a beer, wine and CASH BAR at their wedding. I would be more offended if I went to a wedding and they didn't have the decency to tell me there would a cash bar beforehand or only offered me what they wanted to give me and gave me no other choice. So yes I will be letting my family and friends know on the invitations and wedding website that there will be a cash bar for premium drinks so they will be well prepared and if they don't like it they don't have to come. Real family and friends will not give a crap about what's paid for or not paid for, they will be happy to be there to celebrate your big day with you.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2017
    So you're getting angry at the fact that someone whom you don't even know is going to have a beer, wine and CASH BAR at their wedding. I would be more offended if I went to a wedding and they didn't have the decency to tell me there would a cash bar beforehand or only offered me what they wanted to give me and gave me no other choice. So yes I will be letting my family and friends know on the invitations and wedding website that there will be a cash bar for premium drinks so they will be well prepared and if they don't like it they don't have to come. Real family and friends will not give a crap about what's paid for or not paid for, they will be happy to be there to celebrate your big day with you.
    Oh, yes they will.  You'll find out the hard way.  We tried to help you.  You don't want help.  You want validation.  Nobody here will give it to you, because you are wrong.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Maybe you need to find a book to read about how to be a decent human being. Might help you with your bitterness and anger towards complete strangers. It's not your wedding so you really shouldn't be this upset about it. As for me "finding out the hard way" I'm positive I will be just fine. Family or not I will not lose sleep over some comments about what I did or did not provide at MY wedding.
  • Maybe you need to find a book to read about how to be a decent human being. Might help you with your bitterness and anger towards complete strangers. It's not your wedding so you really shouldn't be this upset about it. As for me "finding out the hard way" I'm positive I will be just fine. Family or not I will not lose sleep over some comments about what I did or did not provide at MY wedding 

    SITB

    Oh, FFS. Get over yourself and grow up.
  • Ah, yes!  Special snowflake season.  This SS changed her title from last night.  She originally was asking about drink tickets.
    It never fails to astonish me how a bride can decided that her personal opinions win over established rules and etiquette.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited January 2017
    How is a cash bar rude? I actually discussed that with several family members who said that they thought it was a good idea to add a cash bar for premium drinks. It is rude to tell your guests they get only beer or wine and if they don't like it they can deal with it, this gives more options for the picky guests. The venue charges per person and there is not an option to pick and choose which guests we could add the extra liquor charge too so essentially money would be wasted by adding it to everyone. And the "ticket" per say  is to keep people from taking advantage of the "shots" song. The idea was initially for all guests to take a shot during that time but I know not everyone will want a shot. My family is not uptight and know we are not made of money so accommodating more options for them is not rude at all. 
    It's rude to make your guests pay for anything at your wedding.  As a hosted event, it's your responsibility to cover all the costs of entertaining your guests, including that of any alcohol served to them. If you don't want to pay for it, then don't serve it. Dry weddings and free limited bars are not rude, but trying to pass on any costs to your guests via cash bars,  drink tickets, or any other means is rude and inappropriate-regardless of what your guests want.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards