I'm trying to picture Grandma and Aunt Tillie drinking shots.
What really made me angry last night was the OP's attitude that whatever she wants to do at her wedding is OK. Every time someone suggested an alternative, she argued. Then she started throwing stones. I understand that Special Snowflakes need to learn, but this one doesn't want any suggestions at all. She only wants to hear that she is in the right about her very rude ideas.
Now, ladies, you all know that I don't like to recommend The Emily Post Institute because I think that they have become too liberal, but here is a quote from them on the subject of cash bars:
Q. I am due to get married in August and was wondering how to handle a
cash bar? How do I let people know ahead of time that it will be cash
bar?
A. You wouldn’t think of asking someone to pay for a cocktail in your
home, so don’t have a cash bar at your reception. When you invite
guests to your reception they are just that, your guests. If a bar is
not in your budget serve soft drinks, wine, or champagne. Or perhaps you
could cut back on the size of your guest list and serve a full array of
drinks. Just do not let the hotel or club or reception site manager
talk you into selling tickets for drinks or having guests pay their own
way.
I think you should make all of the guests line up in front of you like it's communion and pour the shot down their throats yourself. That's really the only way to be rest assured that no one gets more than one shot.
Your wedding wouldn't happen to be Ash Wednesday, would it? Then you can smudge their forehead to mark them to really make sure no one cheats and gets in line a second time. Otherwise, I'm sure your local skeevy nightclub has a handstamp you can borrow to get the job done.
Have it on Mardi Gras, and you can make people flash you in order to get their drink! Shots AND nudity! What wedding would be complete without both?
So you want to send all of your guests to the bar at the exact same time for a free drink during a roughly 3 minute window?
**actual footage of your bartender**
Look, cash bars are rude, but just cut out the cash for spirits portion, or only have 1-2 signature drinks, and this is all fixable.
You could have a fun cocktail come out during a song (like margaritas, or something fun that everyone might like), similar to how waiters are sent out with snacks late at night. But the idea that in 3 minutes you are going to be able to hand out drink tickets (rude), have the DJ explain what that means, EVERYONE is going to be sent to the bar (holy queues, batman) AND get a drink to be back on the dancefloor during one song is ambitious. Do you know how long it takes to get drink for everyone at your wedding? Unless you are having 10 guests, it takes a whole lot longer than one song.
This sounds like a recipe to clear your dancefloor for a solid 30 minutes.
So you're getting angry at the fact that someone whom you don't even know is going to have a beer, wine and CASH BAR at their wedding. I would be more offended if I went to a wedding and they didn't have the decency to tell me there would a cash bar beforehand or only offered me what they wanted to give me and gave me no other choice. So yes I will be letting my family and friends know on the invitations and wedding website that there will be a cash bar for premium drinks so they will be well prepared and if they don't like it they don't have to come. Real family and friends will not give a crap about what's paid for or not paid for, they will be happy to be there to celebrate your big day with you.
I think you really need to take a step back and understand that logic of this type is what doesn't make a lot of sense.
Real family and friends will not give a crap about what's paid for or not paid for, they will be happy to be there to celebrate your big day with you.
This is such a logical fallacy. Family and friends may not SAY anything to you about how they were treated. That doesn't mean that they don't care what was or wasn't hosted. Your logic implies that your family and friends will not change their opinion of you regardless of what you do or what you host. Unfortunately @Tdanley0906, this makes very little sense. It implies that THEIR love for you is enough even if you are asking more from them then you are willing to give.
I don't like this logic at all. It's the same kind of logic that you hear manipulators use: "If you love me then you'll do X." If you cared about me then you'll stop doing X." These are all phrases that are used to imply that what the speaker does matters less than what others do for her/him. Such a concept forgets that any quality relationship flows in two directions and not just one.
For your wedding, there is guest etiquette and there's host etiquette. Your guests should accept graciously what you offer. As the hostess, you should offer what is within your means that is appropriate for the time of day. Your guests would most likely not just "be happy to celebrate the big day with you" if you didn't offer them a meal at meal time. And your guests are most likely not "happy to celebrate the big day with you" if they have to pay for extra drinks.
No one thinks that a wedding should be a go-for-broke situation. Figure out your budget and guest list and let THAT dictate the type of wedding your're having. But your wedding is a hosted event and that means that your guests shouldn't have to pay for anything that's listed as available to them. If you're not going to charge for the steak or the cake then don't charge for booze. Figure out how you can add a signature drink and nix the shot. I know that plenty will do them but I also know plenty of family and friends who won't.
Finally, please don't take silence for acceptance or approval. Sometimes, it's the closest family members who don't say anything. That doesn't mean that they're happy about their experience. It may simply mean that they're going to remain quiet about it because it may not be worth starting the argument. However as someone who has had the experience of bait and switch and partial cash bars, I can tell you that I'm not a fan and my silence to those who have had them is not a sign of my approval at all.
So you're getting angry at the fact that someone whom you don't even know is going to have a beer, wine and CASH BAR at their wedding. I would be more offended if I went to a wedding and they didn't have the decency to tell me there would a cash bar beforehand or only offered me what they wanted to give me and gave me no other choice. So yes I will be letting my family and friends know on the invitations and wedding website that there will be a cash bar for premium drinks so they will be well prepared and if they don't like it they don't have to come. Real family and friends will not give a crap about what's paid for or not paid for, they will be happy to be there to celebrate your big day with you.
Uh, no.
It's more offensive to me when family and friends pass on the costs of their event to me, their guest, because I expect them to treat me better since I'm a supposed beloved friend of family member, and I hold my friends and family to a higher standard.
I'm happy to celebrate your wedding with you, but I'm not happy to have to pay for my drinks when I look all around and see that you have overpaid and wasted money on chair covers, fancy linens, centerpieces, etc. When I see that it tells me that your wedding vision was more important than properly hosting me.
Your reception should be 50%-60% of your total wedding budget, and that includes food and drinks. If you can't afford cocktails, then you can't afford cocktails- they are often very overpriced. That's why I hosted a limited bar of beer, wine, and a signature drink. No cash bar.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Newsflash: We're not all rich, we don't all have judgmental friends and family, and most of us paid for our own weddings, so you're not all that unique.
I think you should stick to wine and beer and use the cost of the shots for a specialty cocktail or two. A mixed drink to represent each of you can be fun and a great way to split the middle between wine and beer.
All of the things you list that a bride and groom do during the reception are not required. They are traditions that many families and groups pass on. We did two toasts before dinner, our dance, and my "dance" with my dad. No cake cutting, no grand exit, etc.
It's all about you, until the ceremony is over. And then it's about thanking people for bearing witness to your actual marriage.
And for heavens sake whatever you do do not include a note about the cash bar anywhere. The only thing tackier than a cash bar is advertising it.
So you're getting angry at the fact that someone whom you don't even know is going to have a beer, wine and CASH BAR at their wedding. I would be more offended if I went to a wedding and they didn't have the decency to tell me there would a cash bar beforehand or only offered me what they wanted to give me and gave me no other choice. So yes I will be letting my family and friends know on the invitations and wedding website that there will be a cash bar for premium drinks so they will be well prepared and if they don't like it they don't have to come. Real family and friends will not give a crap about what's paid for or not paid for, they will be happy to be there to celebrate your big day with you.
I think you really need to take a step back and understand that logic of this type is what doesn't make a lot of sense.
Real family and friends will not give a crap about what's paid for or not paid for, they will be happy to be there to celebrate your big day with you.
This is such a logical fallacy. Family and friends may not SAY anything to you about how they were treated. That doesn't mean that they don't care what was or wasn't hosted. Your logic implies that your family and friends will not change their opinion of you regardless of what you do or what you host. Unfortunately @Tdanley0906, this makes very little sense. It implies that THEIR love for you is enough even if you are asking more from them then you are willing to give.
I don't like this logic at all. It's the same kind of logic that you hear manipulators use: "If you love me then you'll do X." If you cared about me then you'll stop doing X." These are all phrases that are used to imply that what the speaker does matters less than what others do for her/him. Such a concept forgets that any quality relationship flows in two directions and not just one.
For your wedding, there is guest etiquette and there's host etiquette. Your guests should accept graciously what you offer. As the hostess, you should offer what is within your means that is appropriate for the time of day. Your guests would most likely not just "be happy to celebrate the big day with you" if you didn't offer them a meal at meal time. And your guests are most likely not "happy to celebrate the big day with you" if they have to pay for extra drinks.
No one thinks that a wedding should be a go-for-broke situation. Figure out your budget and guest list and let THAT dictate the type of wedding your're having. But your wedding is a hosted event and that means that your guests shouldn't have to pay for anything that's listed as available to them. If you're not going to charge for the steak or the cake then don't charge for booze. Figure out how you can add a signature drink and nix the shot. I know that plenty will do them but I also know plenty of family and friends who won't.
Finally, please don't take silence for acceptance or approval. Sometimes, it's the closest family members who don't say anything. That doesn't mean that they're happy about their experience. It may simply mean that they're going to remain quiet about it because it may not be worth starting the argument. However as someone who has had the experience of bait and switch and partial cash bars, I can tell you that I'm not a fan and my silence to those who have had them is not a sign of my approval at all.
Truth! My godson's wedding was the one with a cash bar. I didn't say anything about it to him or his parents, but you can be 100% sure I was not happy about it nor were my family members.
Finally, please don't take silence for acceptance or approval. Sometimes, it's the closest family members who don't say anything. That doesn't mean that they're happy about their experience. It may simply mean that they're going to remain quiet about it because it may not be worth starting the argument. However as someone who has had the experience of bait and switch and partial cash bars, I can tell you that I'm not a fan and my silence to those who have had them is not a sign of my approval at all.
I'm assuming the OP is young and hasn't been to many weddings yet.
I can tell you that I have been to a ton and whenever there has been a cash bar ppl bitched and it wasn't the rando Plus Ones bitching- it was the family and friends. I have heard the MOB and grooms parents talking about how annoyed and embarrassed they were about the couples choices. . .
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
This sounds like something they would do at "The Lamppost," my old underage college hangout, typical skeevy bar/club. I can look up the number and contact them to see how they gave out all those free shots efficiently. . . . . oh wait, I can't. The SLA shut them down for horrible ideas like this one.
Does your venue even allow shots? A lot of them don't. Do you really want your guests doing shots? All of this idea just seems like it is likely to implode in a big, horrible fashion.
If you're going to offer free shots during Shots Shots Shots like you can't limit that to one shot. That's not festive at all.
@STARMOON44 - you can limit it, only if you dub over the song with, "ONE SHOT, SHOT, SHOT, SHOT - ONLY ONE SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT. EVERYBODY - ONE SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT."
As an aside, I only drink beer and wine and never do shots. They don't sit well with me. I wouldn't partake in this game and I think it is very.....elementary.
Why do snowflakes always go to the "we're not rich" defense?
"I'm not rich, so I have to let other people pay for part of my party!" Most of us manage to say, "I'm not rich, so we will have a different kind of party!" It's quite simple. It's adult. It's classy.
You can properly host on what resources you have, as others have suggested.
You've changed the title of your post to "People Getting Mad Over Nothing." It's not nothing. Treating your guests poorly vs. properly is not nothing.
There's no logical way to do your sudden free shots thing w/o it being a complete and total clusterfuck, and it's inappropriate to ask your guests to pay for the other drinks. Scrap it. Scrap all of it and be a good host.
What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
I don't understand OPs logic at all, or why people assume that being a guest is easy breezy convenient. No. Your guests had to travel (spoiler alert--that costs $$), they bought you a gift ($$), maybe they have to stay in a hotel (more $$), and maybe they even had to take off work that day (now they are actively LOSING $$). But....you want to be cheap and whine that if they love you they should suck it up and pay for their own hosting. Right.
ETA: and did it ever come up that most venues have a strict "no shots" policy? So...good luck with that.
If you're going to offer free shots during Shots Shots Shots like you can't limit that to one shot. That's not festive at all.
@STARMOON44 - you can limit it, only if you dub over the song with, "ONE SHOT, SHOT, SHOT, SHOT - ONLY ONE SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT. EVERYBODY - ONE SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT."
As an aside, I only drink beer and wine and never do shots. They don't sit well with me. I wouldn't partake in this game and I think it is very.....elementary.
This. I'm not a prude nor a light drinker, but dang I left shots behind in my college years/early 20s! I don't know many people who do them anymore, unless they're waaaaay too drunk (when I suggest shots I should have been home an hour ago) or still rather young. They just don't scream "wedding activity" to me.
If I came to a wedding and found that all there was was beer and wine, I'd happily sip on a Pepsi or OJ.
If I came and found out I could have as much JD as I wanted, as long as I paid, while my friend was there slamming her free wine, I'd be full on snarking (to OH) about the lack of equality.
If I didn't know beforehand, and I turned up, ordered a wine and a JD, and got told I owed for the latter, I wouldn't be holding up the bar queue fumbling for money, I'd be apologising to the bar tender for wasting their time and their alcohol, and leaving.
Listen, ladies, I was in college in the early 1970's. I could probably out swear a construction worker or a drill sergeant if I choose to, but I usually simply choose NOT to. My children know very well that if I am mad enough to use the f word, then they are in deep shit. I was that angry at 3:00 AM last night, and I emailed both of them. I had been asking for a friend's new address, which they both knew, for about a month. I guess something that Mom wanted and needed was just not important to them, but I am important enough to listen to their life complaints. (I do not want to hear anymore about Donald Trump, nuclear war, or LGTB rights. I have listened, patiently, for hours, and we do not disagree. Quit whining!) Needless to say, they each sent me the address I had politely and repeatedly requested this morning. If you don't use it often, then it really means something when you use it. If you use it in every other sentence, then nobody will listen to you. Fuck cancer.
Listen, ladies, I was in college in the early 1970's. I could probably out swear a construction worker or a drill sergeant if I choose to, but I usually simply choose NOT to. My children know very well that if I am mad enough to use the f word, then they are in deep shit. I was that angry at 3:00 AM last night, and I emailed both of them. I had been asking for a friend's new address, which they both knew, for about a month. I guess something that Mom wanted and needed was just not important to them, but I am important enough to listen to their life complaints. (I do not want to hear anymore about Donald Trump, nuclear war, or LGTB rights. I have listened, patiently, for hours, and we do not disagree. Quit whining!) Needless to say, they each sent me the address I had politely and repeatedly requested this morning. If you don't use it often, then it really means something when you use it. If you use it in every other sentence, then nobody will listen to you. Fuck cancer.
I figured you knew HOW, it's just really rare and my mom was like you...if she got mad enough to drop a swear I was in deep. Fuck cancer for sure!
1. Some venues have a full bar and can't remove the liquor that's not hosted. Assuming that's the situation at this venue, it's perfectly fine to only offer wine and beer and non-alcoholic drinks as complementary, and there's nothing you can do to stop someone from purchasing a drink that's not complementary. This board regularly says that that's fine, if it's the situation at your venue. All you do is make sure your guests clearly know what is complementary (signs on the bar, and a note on the menu or something like that), so no one is caught off guard.
2. If you can afford it, and your venue lets you, you could also offer a signature drink or two without offering a full bar. At my wedding we did a couple beers, a couple wines, a prosecco, and 2 signature drinks--one with vodka and one with bourbon. We didn't allow shots to be served, but if guests wanted a different mixed drink (like a vodka soda) that was fine.
3. I've been to a wedding that had an ice luge for shots. We were all in our 20's. It was fun. Maybe you could do something like that?
4. If you really want to serve a special drink (e.g. shots) at a particular time, I think you need to have waiters pass them out. I'm thinking like how bars have "shot girls" who walk around with a big tray of shots. I don't think they'd be any issue with this--if you have a hundred guests you can have enough waiters with trays to carry a hundred shots. Some people won't have one, some people will have 2. It should work out fine.
1. Some venues have a full bar and can't remove the liquor that's not hosted. Assuming that's the situation at this venue, it's perfectly fine to only offer wine and beer and non-alcoholic drinks as complementary, and there's nothing you can do to stop someone from purchasing a drink that's not complementary. This board regularly says that that's fine, if it's the situation at your venue. All you do is make sure your guests clearly know what is complementary (signs on the bar, and a note on the menu or something like that), so no one is caught off guard.
2. If you can afford it, and your venue lets you, you could also offer a signature drink or two without offering a full bar. At my wedding we did a couple beers, a couple wines, a prosecco, and 2 signature drinks--one with vodka and one with bourbon. We didn't allow shots to be served, but if guests wanted a different mixed drink (like a vodka soda) that was fine.
3. I've been to a wedding that had an ice luge for shots. We were all in our 20's. It was fun. Maybe you could do something like that?
4. If you really want to serve a special drink (e.g. shots) at a particular time, I think you need to have waiters pass them out. I'm thinking like how bars have "shot girls" who walk around with a big tray of shots. I don't think they'd be any issue with this--if you have a hundred guests you can have enough waiters with trays to carry a hundred shots. Some people won't have one, some people will have 2. It should work out fine.
There actually was a lot of actual advice given in this thread.
According to the OP, "My question is what is a good way to make sure only one drink per person is served during that song? I was thinking drink tickets of some sort but I want it to be a surprise to the guests as well. The dj would of course announce what the tickets are for once the song comes on and get everyone pumped up lol"
How did #1-3 give "actual" advice to the question she asked?
1. Some venues have a full bar and can't remove the liquor that's not hosted. Assuming that's the situation at this venue, it's perfectly fine to only offer wine and beer and non-alcoholic drinks as complementary, and there's nothing you can do to stop someone from purchasing a drink that's not complementary. This board regularly says that that's fine, if it's the situation at your venue. All you do is make sure your guests clearly know what is complementary (signs on the bar, and a note on the menu or something like that), so no one is caught off guard.
This is true if the venue does not put away their liquor (typical of legion halls and such). The OP wanted to do a partial cash bar which is completely different! The former is something beyond the Brides control, the latter is asking guests to supplement the costs of the wedding.
2. If you can afford it, and your venue lets you, you could also offer a signature drink or two without offering a full bar. At my wedding we did a couple beers, a couple wines, a prosecco, and 2 signature drinks--one with vodka and one with bourbon. We didn't allow shots to be served, but if guests wanted a different mixed drink (like a vodka soda) that was fine.
This is a good compromise. I would recommend this option to anyone who is on the fence, or cannot afford a full bar like OP.
3. I've been to a wedding that had an ice luge for shots. We were all in our 20's. It was fun. Maybe you could do something like that?
This screams Frat Party to me. This is not something I would expect at a wedding at all. I mean I guess it doesn't hurt anyone, but it would get a good eye-roll from me.
4. If you really want to serve a special drink (e.g. shots) at a particular time, I think you need to have waiters pass them out. I'm thinking like how bars have "shot girls" who walk around with a big tray of shots. I don't think they'd be any issue with this--if you have a hundred guests you can have enough waiters with trays to carry a hundred shots. Some people won't have one, some people will have 2. It should work out fine.
I will concede that if the OP insists on doing shots during a specific time this would be the way to go. However, this still leaves the problem of some people missing out because they went outside for some air, or were in the bathroom. It still creates the issue of some guests getting a different experience than others...and at the end of the day it seems silly and wasteful if no one takes the shots.
OP, I think you should host what you can afford. If that is just beer and wine, than just host beer and wine. If you can add a signature drink than go for it. Anyone who complains that they couldn't get shots of JD are the rude ones. By offering a partial cash bar you are not treating everyone equally. I never bring cash to a wedding. I only drink water most of the time anyway, but I would pissed if I found out you had a partial cash bar...its just rude.
Re: People getting mad over nothing
What really made me angry last night was the OP's attitude that whatever she wants to do at her wedding is OK. Every time someone suggested an alternative, she argued. Then she started throwing stones. I understand that Special Snowflakes need to learn, but this one doesn't want any suggestions at all. She only wants to hear that she is in the right about her very rude ideas.
Now, ladies, you all know that I don't like to recommend The Emily Post Institute because I think that they have become too liberal, but here is a quote from them on the subject of cash bars:
Q. I am due to get married in August and was wondering how to handle a cash bar? How do I let people know ahead of time that it will be cash bar?
A. You wouldn’t think of asking someone to pay for a cocktail in your home, so don’t have a cash bar at your reception. When you invite guests to your reception they are just that, your guests. If a bar is not in your budget serve soft drinks, wine, or champagne. Or perhaps you could cut back on the size of your guest list and serve a full array of drinks. Just do not let the hotel or club or reception site manager talk you into selling tickets for drinks or having guests pay their own way.
**actual footage of your bartender**
Look, cash bars are rude, but just cut out the cash for spirits portion, or only have 1-2 signature drinks, and this is all fixable.
You could have a fun cocktail come out during a song (like margaritas, or something fun that everyone might like), similar to how waiters are sent out with snacks late at night. But the idea that in 3 minutes you are going to be able to hand out drink tickets (rude), have the DJ explain what that means, EVERYONE is going to be sent to the bar (holy queues, batman) AND get a drink to be back on the dancefloor during one song is ambitious. Do you know how long it takes to get drink for everyone at your wedding? Unless you are having 10 guests, it takes a whole lot longer than one song.
This sounds like a recipe to clear your dancefloor for a solid 30 minutes.
Real family and friends will not give a crap about what's paid for or not paid for, they will be happy to be there to celebrate your big day with you.
This is such a logical fallacy. Family and friends may not SAY anything to you about how they were treated. That doesn't mean that they don't care what was or wasn't hosted. Your logic implies that your family and friends will not change their opinion of you regardless of what you do or what you host. Unfortunately @Tdanley0906, this makes very little sense. It implies that THEIR love for you is enough even if you are asking more from them then you are willing to give.
I don't like this logic at all. It's the same kind of logic that you hear manipulators use: "If you love me then you'll do X." If you cared about me then you'll stop doing X." These are all phrases that are used to imply that what the speaker does matters less than what others do for her/him. Such a concept forgets that any quality relationship flows in two directions and not just one.
For your wedding, there is guest etiquette and there's host etiquette. Your guests should accept graciously what you offer. As the hostess, you should offer what is within your means that is appropriate for the time of day. Your guests would most likely not just "be happy to celebrate the big day with you" if you didn't offer them a meal at meal time. And your guests are most likely not "happy to celebrate the big day with you" if they have to pay for extra drinks.
No one thinks that a wedding should be a go-for-broke situation. Figure out your budget and guest list and let THAT dictate the type of wedding your're having. But your wedding is a hosted event and that means that your guests shouldn't have to pay for anything that's listed as available to them. If you're not going to charge for the steak or the cake then don't charge for booze. Figure out how you can add a signature drink and nix the shot. I know that plenty will do them but I also know plenty of family and friends who won't.
Finally, please don't take silence for acceptance or approval. Sometimes, it's the closest family members who don't say anything. That doesn't mean that they're happy about their experience. It may simply mean that they're going to remain quiet about it because it may not be worth starting the argument. However as someone who has had the experience of bait and switch and partial cash bars, I can tell you that I'm not a fan and my silence to those who have had them is not a sign of my approval at all.
It's more offensive to me when family and friends pass on the costs of their event to me, their guest, because I expect them to treat me better since I'm a supposed beloved friend of family member, and I hold my friends and family to a higher standard.
I'm happy to celebrate your wedding with you, but I'm not happy to have to pay for my drinks when I look all around and see that you have overpaid and wasted money on chair covers, fancy linens, centerpieces, etc. When I see that it tells me that your wedding vision was more important than properly hosting me.
Your reception should be 50%-60% of your total wedding budget, and that includes food and drinks. If you can't afford cocktails, then you can't afford cocktails- they are often very overpriced. That's why I hosted a limited bar of beer, wine, and a signature drink. No cash bar.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I think you should stick to wine and beer and use the cost of the shots for a specialty cocktail or two. A mixed drink to represent each of you can be fun and a great way to split the middle between wine and beer.
All of the things you list that a bride and groom do during the reception are not required. They are traditions that many families and groups pass on. We did two toasts before dinner, our dance, and my "dance" with my dad. No cake cutting, no grand exit, etc.
It's all about you, until the ceremony is over. And then it's about thanking people for bearing witness to your actual marriage.
And for heavens sake whatever you do do not include a note about the cash bar anywhere. The only thing tackier than a cash bar is advertising it.
I can tell you that I have been to a ton and whenever there has been a cash bar ppl bitched and it wasn't the rando Plus Ones bitching- it was the family and friends. I have heard the MOB and grooms parents talking about how annoyed and embarrassed they were about the couples choices. . .
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
This sounds like something they would do at "The Lamppost," my old underage college hangout, typical skeevy bar/club. I can look up the number and contact them to see how they gave out all those free shots efficiently. . . . . oh wait, I can't. The SLA shut them down for horrible ideas like this one.
Does your venue even allow shots? A lot of them don't. Do you really want your guests doing shots? All of this idea just seems like it is likely to implode in a big, horrible fashion.
As an aside, I only drink beer and wine and never do shots. They don't sit well with me. I wouldn't partake in this game and I think it is very.....elementary.
"I'm not rich, so I have to let other people pay for part of my party!" Most of us manage to say, "I'm not rich, so we will have a different kind of party!" It's quite simple. It's adult. It's classy.
You can properly host on what resources you have, as others have suggested.
You've changed the title of your post to "People Getting Mad Over Nothing." It's not nothing. Treating your guests poorly vs. properly is not nothing.
There's no logical way to do your sudden free shots thing w/o it being a complete and total clusterfuck, and it's inappropriate to ask your guests to pay for the other drinks. Scrap it. Scrap all of it and be a good host.
ETA: and did it ever come up that most venues have a strict "no shots" policy? So...good luck with that.
YES. I saw it, stopped, re-read it, scrolled back up to make sure the poster was who I thought she was, and then read it again. Me:
I'm all about the Gentleman.
If I came to a wedding and found that all there was was beer and wine, I'd happily sip on a Pepsi or OJ.
If I came and found out I could have as much JD as I wanted, as long as I paid, while my friend was there slamming her free wine, I'd be full on snarking (to OH) about the lack of equality.
If I didn't know beforehand, and I turned up, ordered a wine and a JD, and got told I owed for the latter, I wouldn't be holding up the bar queue fumbling for money, I'd be apologising to the bar tender for wasting their time and their alcohol, and leaving.
Just saying.
My children know very well that if I am mad enough to use the f word, then they are in deep shit.
I was that angry at 3:00 AM last night, and I emailed both of them. I had been asking for a friend's new address, which they both knew, for about a month. I guess something that Mom wanted and needed was just not important to them, but I am important enough to listen to their life complaints. (I do not want to hear anymore about Donald Trump, nuclear war, or LGTB rights. I have listened, patiently, for hours, and we do not disagree. Quit whining!)
Needless to say, they each sent me the address I had politely and repeatedly requested this morning. If you don't use it often, then it really means something when you use it. If you use it in every other sentence, then nobody will listen to you.
Fuck cancer.
1. Some venues have a full bar and can't remove the liquor that's not hosted. Assuming that's the situation at this venue, it's perfectly fine to only offer wine and beer and non-alcoholic drinks as complementary, and there's nothing you can do to stop someone from purchasing a drink that's not complementary. This board regularly says that that's fine, if it's the situation at your venue. All you do is make sure your guests clearly know what is complementary (signs on the bar, and a note on the menu or something like that), so no one is caught off guard.
2. If you can afford it, and your venue lets you, you could also offer a signature drink or two without offering a full bar. At my wedding we did a couple beers, a couple wines, a prosecco, and 2 signature drinks--one with vodka and one with bourbon. We didn't allow shots to be served, but if guests wanted a different mixed drink (like a vodka soda) that was fine.
3. I've been to a wedding that had an ice luge for shots. We were all in our 20's. It was fun. Maybe you could do something like that?
4. If you really want to serve a special drink (e.g. shots) at a particular time, I think you need to have waiters pass them out. I'm thinking like how bars have "shot girls" who walk around with a big tray of shots. I don't think they'd be any issue with this--if you have a hundred guests you can have enough waiters with trays to carry a hundred shots. Some people won't have one, some people will have 2. It should work out fine.
According to the OP, "My question is what is a good way to make sure only one drink per person is served during that song? I was thinking drink tickets of some sort but I want it to be a surprise to the guests as well. The dj would of course announce what the tickets are for once the song comes on and get everyone pumped up lol"
How did #1-3 give "actual" advice to the question she asked?
Re: #3 -- it's a wedding reception, not a frat party or rib cookoff.
OP, I think you should host what you can afford. If that is just beer and wine, than just host beer and wine. If you can add a signature drink than go for it. Anyone who complains that they couldn't get shots of JD are the rude ones. By offering a partial cash bar you are not treating everyone equally. I never bring cash to a wedding. I only drink water most of the time anyway, but I would pissed if I found out you had a partial cash bar...its just rude.