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Kicking off the week 3 thread

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Re: Kicking off the week 3 thread

  • bleve0821bleve0821 member
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    I made the decision to not change my name, and either no one in DH's family understands, or they are refusing to respect that decision.  It was an incredibly difficult decision for me (and I'm still not sure it's the right one), and I'm harboring a lot of hard feelings for their inability to accept/blatant decision to ignore my lawful name.  The other day, I let a call from an IL go to VM, and the message said, "You're not Atomic Blonde, you're Atomic HisLastName. Call me back, Mrs. HisLastName!"  I haven't.

    Fortunately, it's just family making these asinine comments.  No one at work cares much.  At least not to my face.

    I'm incredibly tired of it.  I worked hard to establish myself professionally, and I have no desire to be pressured or bullied into assuming a new name and recreating a professional identity.  It wouldn't be difficult, but that's not the point.

    My name.  My life.  My decision.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    AtomicBlonde said:
    I made the decision to not change my name, and either no one in DH's family understands, or they are refusing to respect that decision.  It was an incredibly difficult decision for me (and I'm still not sure it's the right one), and I'm harboring a lot of hard feelings for their inability to accept/blatant decision to ignore my lawful name.  The other day, I let a call from an IL go to VM, and the message said, "You're not Atomic Blonde, you're Atomic HisLastName. Call me back, Mrs. HisLastName!"  I haven't.

    Fortunately, it's just family making these asinine comments.  No one at work cares much.  At least not to my face.

    I'm incredibly tired of it.  I worked hard to establish myself professionally, and I have no desire to be pressured or bullied into assuming a new name and recreating a professional identity.  It wouldn't be difficult, but that's not the point.

    My name.  My life.  My decision.
    That's ridiculous, I can't believe any one would care that much about someone else's name, or even if they did be so bold to leave a message like that?! What does your H say?
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
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    Sexism is alive and well between the last two articles.

    I get advice from the men at work to not to assume everything is a woman thing.  Umm, excuse me, you're a man so you don't get to decide.  And until someone accuses you of "getting by on your looks" or asks you where the motor is, you really don't get to have a say.
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  • bleve0821bleve0821 member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    AtomicBlonde said:
    I made the decision to not change my name, and either no one in DH's family understands, or they are refusing to respect that decision.  It was an incredibly difficult decision for me (and I'm still not sure it's the right one), and I'm harboring a lot of hard feelings for their inability to accept/blatant decision to ignore my lawful name.  The other day, I let a call from an IL go to VM, and the message said, "You're not Atomic Blonde, you're Atomic HisLastName. Call me back, Mrs. HisLastName!"  I haven't.

    Fortunately, it's just family making these asinine comments.  No one at work cares much.  At least not to my face.

    I'm incredibly tired of it.  I worked hard to establish myself professionally, and I have no desire to be pressured or bullied into assuming a new name and recreating a professional identity.  It wouldn't be difficult, but that's not the point.

    My name.  My life.  My decision.
    That's ridiculous, I can't believe any one would care that much about someone else's name, or even if they did be so bold to leave a message like that?! What does your H say?
    Not as much as I would like him to, unfortunately.  He doesn't defend them, but he won't help me assert/reinforce my decision with them, either, and it's clear I have failed spectacularly to do that independently.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
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    edited February 2017
    mrsconn23 said:
    southernbelle0915 said:
    kimmiinthemitten said:
    Mitch McConnell just got up and accused dems of "extreme obstructionism" because they "refuse to recognize the results of the election."

    Clearly, Trump must have gaslighted him about the last 8 years.
    Mitch McConnell is a party puppet. He loses SO much credibility when he says shit like this. Like, really dude? Are you trying to have people not take you seriously?
    Can we talk about his tiny-ass chin and HUGE jowls?!  I mean, I'm not saying my chin/neck is anything to look at, but between his voice and hang-dog face...Ugh.  The. Worst. 

    Since you opened the door, can we talk about the hot mess that is Steve Bannon?  Or, as Stephen Colbert calls him, "the handsomest guy at the liquor store.”
    �
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
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    Heffalump said:

    Since you opened the door, can we talk about the hot mess that is Steve Bannon?  Or, as Stephen Colbert calls him, "the handsomest guy at the liquor store.”
    He reminds me of the creepy old guy that is way past his prime and thinks he deserves an audience with younger girls.  


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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    levioosa said:
    Let's be honest, I'm going to judge someone way more for naming their kid Braeidyn than for whether or not they changed their name. Where are the articles about the speshul snowflake ridiculous spellings that are going on? Think of the children! 


    Yes, YES!!!  I'm cringing at the thought of going through life with a normal name/weird spelling.  I'll even go so far as to say a truly weird/unique name is fine.  But normal name/weird spelling is always going to be misspelled.  Always (unless someone knows them really well).

    Quick thanks to my mom for spelling Jennifer with a "J".  Not a "G".

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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
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    The swamp is so murky....


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  • bleve0821bleve0821 member
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    banana468 said:
    AtomicBlonde said:
    charlotte989875 said:
    AtomicBlonde said:
    I made the decision to not change my name, and either no one in DH's family understands, or they are refusing to respect that decision.  It was an incredibly difficult decision for me (and I'm still not sure it's the right one), and I'm harboring a lot of hard feelings for their inability to accept/blatant decision to ignore my lawful name.  The other day, I let a call from an IL go to VM, and the message said, "You're not Atomic Blonde, you're Atomic HisLastName. Call me back, Mrs. HisLastName!"  I haven't.

    Fortunately, it's just family making these asinine comments.  No one at work cares much.  At least not to my face.

    I'm incredibly tired of it.  I worked hard to establish myself professionally, and I have no desire to be pressured or bullied into assuming a new name and recreating a professional identity.  It wouldn't be difficult, but that's not the point.

    My name.  My life.  My decision.
    That's ridiculous, I can't believe any one would care that much about someone else's name, or even if they did be so bold to leave a message like that?! What does your H say?
    Not as much as I would like him to, unfortunately.  He doesn't defend them, but he won't help me assert/reinforce my decision with them, either, and it's clear I have failed spectacularly to do that independently.
    Can you just refuse to return the call and if asked simply say, "Oh I didn't return the call because you left a message for someone who doesn't exist."

    Sometimes your DH can be a real turd.
    HAHA I actually wrote "RETURN TO SENDER" on a couple Christmas cards that were addressed to Mrs. HisLastName and stuck them back in the mailbox.  I don't respond when people call me by a name that isn't my own.

    I agree that he is being a suckbucket about this.  I am probably going to talk to MIL about it and see if she can help spread the word, if she doesn't have any other suggestions for how I can be more clear about my decision.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
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    I just want to cry for H and his coworkers right now.  All it took was one bill, one bill in Michigan and he didn't get a raise for 5 years.

    He has a Masters Degree and 12 years of experience and makes as much as money as our support staff.  And he's one of the lucky ones who started before they cut pensions.

    I'm genuinely afraid for what public education will look like in 4 years.
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  • SP29SP29 member
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    AtomicBlonde said:
    charlotte989875 said:
    AtomicBlonde said:
    I made the decision to not change my name, and either no one in DH's family understands, or they are refusing to respect that decision.  It was an incredibly difficult decision for me (and I'm still not sure it's the right one), and I'm harboring a lot of hard feelings for their inability to accept/blatant decision to ignore my lawful name.  The other day, I let a call from an IL go to VM, and the message said, "You're not Atomic Blonde, you're Atomic HisLastName. Call me back, Mrs. HisLastName!"  I haven't.

    Fortunately, it's just family making these asinine comments.  No one at work cares much.  At least not to my face.

    I'm incredibly tired of it.  I worked hard to establish myself professionally, and I have no desire to be pressured or bullied into assuming a new name and recreating a professional identity.  It wouldn't be difficult, but that's not the point.

    My name.  My life.  My decision.
    That's ridiculous, I can't believe any one would care that much about someone else's name, or even if they did be so bold to leave a message like that?! What does your H say?
    Not as much as I would like him to, unfortunately.  He doesn't defend them, but he won't help me assert/reinforce my decision with them, either, and it's clear I have failed spectacularly to do that independently.
    You could go by DH's name socially, if you wanted to, while still keeping your maiden name legally and professionally.

    But I think if keeping your maiden name in all aspects is important to you- for whatever reason- you should be making a big deal about it to your DH. I think he should support you towards his family- mainly because it's HIS family and the whole blood talks to blood thing.

    I took DH's name after we got married, but I still use my maiden name professionally- I'm registered with my regulatory college using that name. But I can sympathize, because I know if I hadn't taken DH's name I would have heard about it from FIL (is it bad that part of me wants to know exactly what he would say, only because I like to challenge his conservative/traditional views?).
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Say goodbye to public education in this country. 
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
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    I can't wait for them to destroy social security and medicare so they can ruin my  parents too.

    At least the VA Secretary is good so my sisters job is safe.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    On the subject of women changing/not changing to their married name, I was annoyed by one of the SB announcers.  At one point in the game, the camera zoomed over to Gisele Bundchen and the announcer said something like, "And there's Gisele Bundchen, Mrs. Tom Brady."

    I even remarked to my H, "Excuse me?  The announcer can't even get her name right?  Obviously, she chooses to go by BUNDCHEN.  Not Brady."  If he wanted people to know who she was, he could have just as easily said, "Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady's wife."

    Maybe she goes by Mrs. Brady socially.  It's possible she kept her maiden name purely for professional reasons.  I'd be a little more understanding if the announcer knew that for a fact.  But I suspect he's just in the "women take their husbands' name" category. 

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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
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    short+sassy said:
    levioosa said:
    Let's be honest, I'm going to judge someone way more for naming their kid Braeidyn than for whether or not they changed their name. Where are the articles about the speshul snowflake ridiculous spellings that are going on? Think of the children! 


    Yes, YES!!!  I'm cringing at the thought of going through life with a normal name/weird spelling.  I'll even go so far as to say a truly weird/unique name is fine.  But normal name/weird spelling is always going to be misspelled.  Always (unless someone knows them really well).

    Quick thanks to my mom for spelling Jennifer with a "J".  Not a "G".


    Yeah, I have a rather common name Alison, my parents chose the spelling of a singular "L", while it is most common with two.  I have seen my name spelt wrong SOOOOOO many times that I stop correcting people.   And I can never find it at those souvenir stands either!
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
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    Heffalump said:
    Y'all, why am I so disappointed if I'm not surprised?
    Because deep down we had a shred of naive hope that the status quo can't be *that* bad.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    My heart breaks for our kids, but especially teachers.  

    Teachers have been taking it up the ass so bad for-ev-er and it seems every move with regard to education is to ask for more while giving less.  

    This is fucked up. 
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