Dear Prudence,
How do you empathize with friends when they have comparatively smaller problems? I’ve experienced a lot of violent trauma in my life, as well as severe depression. It can be really difficult to listen to my friends complain about having to wait a whole month before buying a fancy new car, or how hard it is to choose between two great job offers. I want to be a good friend, but it’s hard not to scream, “Those are not real problems” at them. I’m currently in therapy and trying to process these feelings, but I’m actually finding it’s bringing up more anger. Most of the people in my life don’t know what I’ve been through, and I don’t want to turn conversations about their struggles into a discussion of my issues—that would make me a pretty terrible friend. How do I get past this?