Adults Only Wedding- wording on website

Knottiee9dcdb050ae70247 · February 2017

Hi all,

We will be having an adults only wedding. Ourwedding invite envelopes will just be addressed to those invited but I know that won't be enough for some of our family to still presume their kids are invited so I want to put it on our website too.

I have worded it like this, 'Due to the late starting of the ceremony (our ceremony begins at 5.30pm) we have decided to keep our wedding an adults only event. We apologise to our family and friends for any inconvenience this may cause.' However I am wondering if this reason for not inviting kids seems a bit feeble. Should I instead just write that our wedding is an adults only event without any explanation? I just don't want to p*ss too many people off.

STARMOON44 · February 2017

I wouldn't write anything at all. Tell your mom and family to spread the word.

ILoveBeachMusic · February 2017

You shouldn't write it anywhere. It is considered rude to say who isn't invited to an event. If people RSVP and include their children, then you call them and tell them you are sorry but the invitation is only for Jane and John Doe and that the children can't be accommodated. You can also spread by word of mouth that only adults are invited.

englishrose-2 · February 2017

If you leave it up, don't give a reason, or apologise for inconvenience.

CMGragain · February 2017

Bad idea. Don't write "adults only" anywhere.

missfrodo · February 2017

Yeah, definitely don't give people a reason, as that just opens the door for them to come up with a solution to that reason ("Oh, that's ok--Timmy stays up till 10 anyway!" or "We'll just bring them to the ceremony and get a sitter for the reception part" etc). If people RSVP with their kids, call them up and say "I'm sorry for the confusion, but the invitation was just for you and H. We hope you will still be able to attend."

SP29 · February 2017

Don't give a reason or apologize. No one is required an invitation to your wedding (beyond inviting SOs) and you don't need to explain why you have or have not invited someone.

What you have written now is patronizing; you're deciding for other parents what is or isn't too late for their children. And 5:30 really isn't late, particularly considering a child is anyone under 18, so 5:30 is too late for a 16 year old? Nope. You just don't want them there- which is fine! It also implies your guests cannot leave whenever they want (which they can). Giving an "excuse" also gives your guests room to "negotiate" or "solve" the problem for you- which you really aren't interested in

.

It is also rude to state who isn't invited- so I wouldn't write "Adults Only" anywhere on your website.

What you can do, if you are having RSVP cards, is put "____ seats have been reserved in your honour". Spreading by word of mouth is also good.

At the end of the day, if someone RSVPs for more than who was listed on the invite, you call them up and explain that the invite was only for Dan and Sue.

ei34 · February 2017

Ditto PP to have "no children" spread by word of mouth.

Definitely don't write what you suggested. 1) What's too late for each family will vary and 2) apologizing to everyone would imply that you're doing something wrong, and it's not wrong to have a kid-free wedding. It's just wrong (well, rude) to write out who isn't invited.

MesmrEwe · February 2017

It's a choice to have an adult only wedding. You made that choice - OWN IT! If you're apologizing for it - you aren't owning your adult decision. A 5:30 ceremony time is NBD for those of us with kids and comes across as condescending. Even if it was a 9PM start-time the line you're using still comes across wrong.

For those who don't get the hint when they get an invitation with only the adult names and "2 seats have been reserved in (guest names) honor" on the RSVP, then you pick up the phone and call and correct the misunderstanding, it's part of owning the decision. And yes, tell the Chatty Cathy of the family and your parents/siblings that it's o.k. to spread the word that it's adults-only.

MairePoppy · February 2017

It's insulting to your guests who have manners to tell them 'no children.' They know who is invited, based on the way you address their invitations, and wouldn't think of imposing their kids. For those who might be rude enough to add their kids to their invitations, your advisement on your wedding website won't stop them. You will have to call the clueless ones to tell them that the invitation is for the parents and children can't be accommodated. Excuses aren't necessary.

Every family has a few gossips that are more than happy to share the news. Make use of their talents.

Adults Only Wedding- wording on website

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