Newbie needs help deciding!

Re: Newbie needs help deciding!

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  levioosa member

  

  March 2017

  jlshires said:

  How am I treating it flippantly by expressing both a legal wedding and a ceremony and expression to share with my family? Also, calling it a sacred right would be a religious right, which is a completely separate concept than a legal right... as I had previously stated.
  

  Oh FFS.  They can be both, and should be both AT THE SAME TIME. You are being flippant by pretending that the legality isn't important.  You say you told your family you were getting married first in the states? Or did you ask them their opinions on resorts in Mexico? Which one is it?  

  
  

  Oh, and the Catholic Church won't let you marry at two separate times, since you are bringing up "sacraments."  Your legal marriage and your religious marriage have to be on the same day.  

  
  

  
  

  

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  Jells2dot0 mod

  

  March 2017

  Bumping another zombie to stir the pot. OP isn't even on here anymore!!!
  
  @jlshires if you'd like to start a new topic about this and have a good dialogue, please start another post.

   

  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  

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  CMGragain member

  

  March 2017 edited March 2017

  Your wedding day is the day where you are legally joined to become a married couple.  In the USA, you get ONE wedding day.
  
  If you want to have a party on another day with your family and friends, that is your decision, and I have no problem with it.  If you call it "my wedding" and dress up and pretend to be a bride again, then I think you are being silly.  You will not be a bride at this celebration.  Why do you need to dress up and pretend to be one?
  
  Many people in my extended family have had private wedding ceremonies, either in a church or in a courthouse.  My relatives would have been hugely insulted if anyone implied that their legal wedding was not enough, and that they should re-do the ceremony!  These people cherished the memory of their wedding day.  So should you.
  

  

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  CMGragain member

  

  March 2017 edited March 2017

  • jlshires said:

    How am I treating it flippantly by expressing both a legal wedding and a ceremony and expression to share with my family? Also, calling it a sacred right would be a religious right, which is a completely separate concept than a legal right... as I had previously stated.
    

  Definition of sacred

  1. 1a :  dedicated or set apart for the service or worship of a deity a tree sacred to the godsb :  devoted exclusively to one service or use (as of a person or purpose) a fund sacred to charity

  2. 2a :  worthy of religious veneration :  holyb :  entitled to reverence and respect

  3. 3 :  of or relating to religion :  not secular or profane sacred music

  4. 4 archaic :  accursed

  5. 5a :  unassailable, inviolableb :  highly valued and important a sacred responsibility

  If you are a Christian, then you believe that God is in the courthouse, too.  If you are a Catholic Christian, then no priest will perform a second marriage ceremony for you.  It is completely against Canon Law.
  

  

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  CMGragain member

  

  March 2017 edited March 2017

  jlshires said:

  I came onto this thread to look for advice on my own DW, and was considering not responding, but I am being pulled to. I have found most of this to not be helpful or constructive, but incredibly judgmental and harsh. I am planning a DW in Mexico, and having a home party after we come back. I don't find it to be ridiculous, I don't think I need to limit myself in only doing one, and have found a budget that works for us to do both. We are having only our nearest and dearest come to Mexico with us, and cleared it with them when we told them we were getting married, ensuring that they wouldn't feel put out or pressured. My fiance has even stated that we would really love for them to be there, but essentially it's about the two of us, and if they can't make it that sucks but we understand and we'll see them when we come home for our party here. We're also legally getting married in the US, and Mexico is a ceremony. Whether or not it's a legal ceremony, it is still my wedding, and to state that it's not a wedding unless it's legal is a bit insulting to me. When we come home we are having a casual barbeque and inviting all of our friends and family. It is a party, not a vow renewal or ceremony. It is a place for all of the people we care about to come and have fun and for us to see them. I have found this whole thread to be ridiculous, and completely rude. Just because it's not how you see your wedding does not mean that it is not a viable option for others, and stating things such as "Sorry, it doesn't work that way," or "You are already married," in regards to having a post-party is one of the most selfish comments I have ever seen. I get that you all have really strict opinions on what a wedding means, or a traditional honeymoon, and all of that, but this all came off as so incredibly rude and as if someone isn't doing it your way then it's not worth doing at all. I regret that I wasn't here before they deleted themselves to offer some help and to tell them that they're not ridiculous, and it is doable, and that their wedding and vision is valid.
  

  You have certainly expressed your own opinion.  You have not given us any logic to back that opinion, just expressed emotional frustration and rage that no one agrees with you.  I don't think this will get you very far in dealing with life's challenges.
  
   So the truth is insulting to you?  How can that be?
  
  Why not get legally married in Mexico?  Some places in Mexico have relaxed marriage rules for foreigners, and it is quite possible for you to have your wedding in Mexico.  No one will side eye you if you do this.  No one has a problem with a celebration party at home after your marriage.
  

  

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