This guy is the worst.

mrsconn23 · April 2017

Dear Prudence,
My wife and I were elated to find out we are going to have a daughter! We decided to discuss names last week and gave ourselves three days to prepare our ideas. I spent a ton of time on this, and even put together a presentation with each name and the reasons I liked them. I chose some important family names and some special names from literature and the arts—all of which I think would be beautiful. My wife showed up with a few names scribbled on the back of a grocery list as if she hardly even cared! Also her ideas were trashy, misspelled names like Lauryn and Bethonie and 18th-century presidents’ names like Madison, Taylor, and Polk. I was so disappointed in my wife for not taking this seriously, as I feel it is very important. Honestly, this episode has me questioning the foundation of our relationship, let alone raising a child together. Obviously, I can’t just leave now because I am committed to the child, but how can my wife and I get past this major red flag in our relationship? I have tried to discuss it with her and she doesn’t even think she has done anything wrong, so we are at a major impasse.

—Baby Name Blow-Up

cupcait927 · April 2017

MUD. 10000000% MUD. There is no way this guy is for real.

bleve0821 · April 2017

IDK, if it isn't MUD and this guy really is "questioning the foundation of our relationship" over a couple of vowels, LW's wife can do SO much better. What an asshat. Who puts together a presentation for why he wants those names?

Also, the ONLY name from literature I would even consider would be "Ishmael," and we would train the child from day one to introduce himself as, "Call me Ishmael."

Fun fact: DH wants to name our firstborn "Gotham," so he can yell, "GOTHAM NEEDS YOU!!!"

Joney · April 2017

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence,
My wife and I were elated to find out we are going to have a daughter! We decided to discuss names last week and gave ourselves three days to prepare our ideas. I spent a ton of time on this, and even put together a presentation (aka: world's worst power point) with each name and the reasons I liked them. I chose some important family names and some special names from literature and the arts (I have an insatiable need to prove I'm the smartest person in the room)—all of which I think would be beautiful. My wife showed up with a few names scribbled on the back of a grocery list as if she hardly even cared! (She's spending her time doing stupid stuff like groceries, unlike me. *clicks to page 3 of power point: Hermione*). Also her ideas were trashy, misspelled names like Lauryn and Bethonie and 18th-century presidents’ names (seriously, I'm THE SMARTEST) like Madison, Taylor, and Polk. I was so disappointed in my wife for not taking this seriously, as I feel it is very important (unlike grocery shopping to provide sustinance for my unborn child). Honestly, this episode has me questioning the foundation of our relationship, let alone raising a child together. Obviously, I can’t just leave now because I am committed to the child, but how can my wife and I get past this major red flag in our relationship? I have tried to discuss it with her and she doesn’t even think she has done anything wrong (it took her weeks to realize I wasn't joking!!), so we are at a major impasse.
—Baby Name Blow-Up

sparklepants41 · April 2017

Joney said:

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence,
My wife and I were elated to find out we are going to have a daughter! We decided to discuss names last week and gave ourselves three days to prepare our ideas. I spent a ton of time on this, and even put together a presentation (aka: world's worst power point) with each name and the reasons I liked them. I chose some important family names and some special names from literature and the arts (I have an insatiable need to prove I'm the smartest person in the room)—all of which I think would be beautiful. My wife showed up with a few names scribbled on the back of a grocery list as if she hardly even cared! (She's spending her time doing stupid stuff like groceries, unlike me. *clicks to page 3 of power point: Hermione*). Also her ideas were trashy, misspelled names like Lauryn and Bethonie and 18th-century presidents’ names (seriously, I'm THE SMARTEST) like Madison, Taylor, and Polk. I was so disappointed in my wife for not taking this seriously, as I feel it is very important (unlike grocery shopping to provide sustinance for my unborn child). Honestly, this episode has me questioning the foundation of our relationship, let alone raising a child together. Obviously, I can’t just leave now because I am committed to the child, but how can my wife and I get past this major red flag in our relationship? I have tried to discuss it with her and she doesn’t even think she has done anything wrong (it took her weeks to realize I wasn't joking!!), so we are at a major impasse.
—Baby Name Blow-Up

Yup. This is exactly how I read this letter as well.

banana468 · April 2017

This guy should be thanking his lucky stars that he got laid.

How about this,

Dear Prudie,

My husband and I found out that I am pregnant with our daughter. We were thrilled and decided to talk about names. We decided to think about names for a few days and then to talk about them.

I am at the beginning of my second trimester, just getting over some smell aversions and am still exhausted almost all the time. My joints hurt, my feet are starting to swell and I'm still doing nearly all of the major household duties even though I work full time.

Days later we sat down and I'd shared my notes with my husband while he put together a full on-presentation as if I'm sitting in a board room! He didn't like my suggestions and now acts as if I'm not serious about being a good mother to our unborn daughter.

Prudie, I don't think my husband is really understanding all of the emotional and physical aspects involved in being pregnant and he's taking serious offense that I didn't prepare for our private discussion like some kind of corporate meeting. Frankly, I think he's acting like a jackass but he seems to think that I'm at fault here.

What should I do? I'm half tempted to create my own "presentation" about how I'm already parenting someone.

Signed,
I'm paying for one good night for the rest of my life

missJeanLouise · April 2017

As a crazy person I can understand how the littlest thing can have you questioning your whole relationship, for 30 seconds. Definitely not enough time to write Prudie.

lovesclimbing · April 2017

Total MUD.

MissKittyDanger · April 2017

If this isn't MUD, then how the fuck is he questioning their relationship over fucking names!?

End of the day, the daughter could hate the name either have given and change her name. Or be transgendered and none of this fucking matters.

Omfg ...

bleve0821 · April 2017

I keep coming back to this letter because it's so appalling to me. It's like he's calling his wife an idiot because she would never understand that "Emma" could possibly be a shout-out to Jane Austen, so she needs a slide-show presentation to "get" it.

I dated a guy like that, once. He NEVER acted like I had a brain. I'd point to a cloud and say, "That cloud looks like a unicorn," and he'd say, "That's a cumulonimbus," and give me a 10-minute lecture on the cloud. I got a new smartphone and was playing with all the functions, checking the apps, and he points to the QR scanner app, and said, "You know what that is? It's a barcode scanner. You hold the camera up to a barcode and it scans it and you can find the same product at other retailers. Here, let me show you how it works."

We broke up.

This guys sounds like that ex.

baconsmom · April 2017

Polk.

That is all.

ei34 · April 2017

He's an asshole. And a nut job. How did Prudie respond? Please tell me she put him in his place.

Might just be the couples in my family, but name picking goes: Wife: "I was thinking ___ for the baby's name" Husband: "sounds great"

MissKittyDanger · April 2017

I keep coming to this .... lol

I'm also kinda stuck on the presentation part. Necessary? No.

I would jokingly do that with M if we were down to a couple names and were really not willing to budge and wanted other person to be convinced. But otherwise ... no need.

NowIAmSyp · April 2017

Oh dear. How did Prudie respond?

redwoodoriginal · April 2017

As DH and I are starting to discuss names for our boy (!) I would knock him upside down the head if he presented me with a PowerPoint presentation. Also he would do the same to me. Just no. On so many levels.

cowgirl8238 · April 2017

atomicblonde said:

I keep coming back to this letter because it's so appalling to me. It's like he's calling his wife an idiot because she would never understand that "Emma" could possibly be a shout-out to Jane Austen, so she needs a slide-show presentation to "get" it.

I dated a guy like that, once. He NEVER acted like I had a brain. I'd point to a cloud and say, "That cloud looks like a unicorn," and he'd say, "That's a cumulonimbus," and give me a 10-minute lecture on the cloud. I got a new smartphone and was playing with all the functions, checking the apps, and he points to the QR scanner app, and said, "You know what that is? It's a barcode scanner. You hold the camera up to a barcode and it scans it and you can find the same product at other retailers. Here, let me show you how it works."

We broke up.

This guys sounds like that ex.

Fun fact: The first cat DH and I adopted was a gray and white tabby kitten, we named him cumulus and call him cumulonimbus whenever he does something "bad/wrong"...

He was such a cute little guy!

MissKittyDanger · April 2017

@cowgirl8238 hahahaha I love the names people give cats when they're bad :')

cowgirl8238 · April 2017

I really hope this is MUD...but even still I don't know why exactly this is bothering me as much as it does...is the fact that he made a FREAKING POWERPOINT on names? The fact that he got upset with his pregnant wife because she "Only wrote the names on the grocery list" Or is that he believes this is worth breaking up over? In a small way, I almost hope he does decide to leave (although LW would be devastated) so that LW can find someone way better than him.

Funny-ish side note: My first name is Alison. My brothers name is Adam. Both of our names came from the baby book of names. I often joke that my parents were too lazy to turn past the first page because we both have 'A' names. (Of course that isn't true!)

This makes me so angry I needed another cat picture...LOL

MesmrEwe · April 2017

Yes - we need the "How did Prudie Respond" for this one!

He's lucky she didn't Bobbit him... They've got until a couple days after the baby arrives to name the baby (The little guy didn't have a name until the morning we were about leave the hospital - I wanted a different name than he got, but DS seemed to like his name better ;O) It's one thing to disagree on spelling and insist as a must that "The kid be able to buy something with their name on it!". The rest is narcissism on his part... I wonder how Maddy will come around to him...

Ro041 · April 2017

From Prudie:

"I have good news for you, which is that your wife’s behavior is not anywhere near the neighborhood of red-flaggery, and after you’ve recovered from the initial shock conveyed in your letter, I hope you’ll agree. It’s not even in yellow-flag territory. You don’t mention that your wife seems indifferent at the prospect of having a daughter, or that she’s talked about child-rearing techniques that strike you as negligent or unsafe. Most parents-to-be don’t develop PowerPoints for possible baby names, and the fact that your wife didn’t write an essay for each of her ideas is not an indication that she’s going to make a lousy parent or that she’s less excited than you about having a child. For my own well-being, I’ll assume you were joking or exaggerating about having contemplated, even for a minute, ending an otherwise loving marriage because your wife thinks “Bethonie” is a cute name.

As for what makes a good name, more broadly, “trashy” and “misspelled” are highly subjective categories. “Lauren” used to be a boy’s name; that doesn’t mean naming a girl Lauren today is somehow “less correct,” and “Lauryn” is a plausible variation on the standard spelling of the name. If you don’t like her suggestions, you can say, “I don’t like the name Taylor” without resorting to, “How disgusting for our child to share her name with someone who only made it a year into his term before dying from drinking too much iced milk.” I guarantee you that there is at least someone out there who considers your “special literary names” to be affected and not nearly as unique as you think they are. “This is our daughter, Bartleby the Scrivener” may have a nice ring to you but won’t to everyone. “This is our daughter, Fragonard’s The Swing,” or “This is our daughter, Enfield Tennis Academy,” is not inherently better than “This is our daughter, Lauryn.”

The takeaway here is not to get attached to the delusion that your taste is objectively good and your wife’s taste is objectively bad, about names or anything. Apologize to your wife profusely for your unkind overreaction, then have another brainstorming session—have several—and try to bring a great deal more generosity of spirit and open-mindedness to the process."

banana468 · April 2017

We didn't decide on Chiquita's name until we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital for my induction.

This guy seems to be wound tighter than Cameron Frye.

charlotte989875 · April 2017

banana468 said:

We didn't decide on Chiquita's name until we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital for my induction.

This guy seems to be wound tighter than Cameron Frye.

It was the night before they left the hospital that my sister and BIL finally agreed on what to name the baby.

baconsmom · April 2017

Well, LOREN is a man's name, but LAUREN has always been a woman's name. Like Kerry and Carrie. Or Francis and Frances. So, you know. Spelling counts, IMO, but we all know how I feel about extraneous Ys and "creative" spellings. I can't even get weird for my characters, whose weirdest (not non-American, not non-British) name is Coventry.

But Polk. You can't beat that.

kvruns · April 2017

https://www.romper.com/p/no-seriously-naming-my-baby-almost-destroyed-my-marriage-51013?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=owned&utm_campaign=rompernewmom

Just saw this on fb - they even reference the Prudie letter

ILoveBeachMusic · April 2017

baconsmom said:

Well, LOREN is a man's name, but LAUREN has always been a woman's name. Like Kerry and Carrie. Or Francis and Frances. So, you know. Spelling counts, IMO, but we all know how I feel about extraneous Ys and "creative" spellings. I can't even get weird for my characters, whose weirdest (not non-American, not non-British) name is Coventry.

But Polk. You can't beat that.

I have a female friend named Kerry.

artbyallie · April 2017

baconsmom said:

Polk.

That is all.

tbh, that's what made it stand out as MUD to me...

That said, when our first niece was about to be born, MIL was going on and on about the worst baby names. Like Sullivan. For. A. GIRL. And I admit I kinda somewhat judge SIL for giving both her daughters R names with an improperly placed 'y' in them. And for naming the first one a boy's name. But they're not my kids and we're almost certainly not having any at all, so meh. I was probably more pissed at her H's dad's suggestion that they need to keep trying for more so they can get a boy 'to carry on the name.' Like one of the girls couldn't keep her last name for whatever reason. Or hell, neither one might even want kids. A boy might not either.

mrsconn23 · April 2017

banana468 said:

We didn't decide on Chiquita's name until we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital for my induction.

This guy seems to be wound tighter than Cameron Frye.

Um, we have video of introducing DefConn with no name and us being all,

DH: "Here's our new minutes old baby! Say hi to the world! ... ... SO uh, what are we going to name him?
Me: "..." (probably death staring because I'd had 29 hours of labor, including 2.5 of pushing)
DH: "..."
Me: "..." (more death stares)
DH: "OK! We'll be back with a named baby!"

ei34 · April 2017

kvruns said:

https://www.romper.com/p/no-seriously-naming-my-baby-almost-destroyed-my-marriage-51013?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=owned&utm_campaign=rompernewmom

Just saw this on fb - they even reference the Prudie letter

They blasted him on HuffPost Parents fb page too!

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy @redwoodoriginal

6fsn · April 2017

Max had a name the fastest. When they told us he was 9 lb 8 oz we decided in the delivery room he was a Max. The other 2 weren't named until just before leaving the hospital.

levioosa · April 2017

Man, I can't get this letter out of my head. I wish it was MUD, but I know douchey guys who would actually do something like this, so I don't have much hope it's fake. Fuck this guy.

OurWildKingdom · April 2017

Somehow I missed the presentation part. I can see his wedding proposal: 15 reasons you should marry me.

This guy is the worst.

Re: This guy is the worst.

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