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Wedding Etiquette Forum
bride2be1028
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How to let guests know it's time to leave?
I feel kind of silly asking this because I feel like it's something I should know or be able to figure out. We are renting a private lake house to have both our ceremony and reception at. It's going to be very small and very casual. We are staying at the house for the entire weekend, and some of our guests have rented nearby houses on the lake to stay in.
So it will be an early afternoon ceremony and the reception will be pretty much like a backyard BBQ. The intention is for everyone to just hang out and play some lawn games and just have a good time. Even though I'm not terribly concerned about everyone being gone by a certain time, I also don't want people thinking they can hang out and party until the wee hours of the morning (I can see some of my FI friends doing this).
Is there a polite way to signal to people that hey, this was great, thank you so much for coming, but it's really time to leave now?
So it will be an early afternoon ceremony and the reception will be pretty much like a backyard BBQ. The intention is for everyone to just hang out and play some lawn games and just have a good time. Even though I'm not terribly concerned about everyone being gone by a certain time, I also don't want people thinking they can hang out and party until the wee hours of the morning (I can see some of my FI friends doing this).
Is there a polite way to signal to people that hey, this was great, thank you so much for coming, but it's really time to leave now?
Re: How to let guests know it's time to leave?
Lower music, start cleaning up. . . . . what do you do to signal the end of any other party you have thrown? I would think the same would apply here.
If it were a normal house party I wouldn't expect people to leave early and everyone would probably just stay until they got tired and it was time to head home for bed. Since we are starting the wedding early in the day it won't be quite the same.
Then be all, "Alright guys! Wedding night time, wink wink. See ya tomorrow."
You could also do a short "Thank you for coming" speech with your FH when you're ready to end things.
I like the idea of a "thanks, have a good night" speech from you to your guests. If you have a wedding website, you also make mention of the approximate ending time there, as a heads up to people.
And this might be kind of out there, but you could let any local ordinances on noise be your friend. Does your location have a noise ordinance in effect from, say 11PM to 6AM? Excellent excuse to start cleaning up around 9:30 or 10:00.
Lol!
Seriously, I think subtle hints will work. Cut off any music, give a little speech thanking people for coming, then start cleaning up. If you'e still got some stragglers, ask if you can help walk them to their cars.
For example:
4:30 anounce last call
5:00 make a thank you for coming speech and set out favours on a table by the door with a sign that says thank you for coming
5:15 have everyone get confetti and give you a send off immediately after you leave: lights on, music off, food put away, have staff start breaking down tables etc.
Have someone announce 'thanks for coming, if anyone needs a cab called, I have several numbers'
I feel like this isn't always true?
We had a 5pm ceremony.
Cocktail hour was 6-7
Dinner at 7
I think we served cake around 830?
We had the space and DJ officially until 11. We weren't going to serve the cake at 1030.
DJ stayed of his own accord until 1130 and the dance floor was packed until then.
I think it's not that the cake signals that it's time to leave, but rather it signals that it's socially acceptable to leave?
I mean, as a guest I suppose I have the right to leave whenever I want, but even weddings I go to that aren't fun/ I'm really tired, I don't feel right leaving before the cake is served. Once the cake is out though I feel like it's ok to split, but not necessarily that I should split.
I like the "thank you and goodnight" speech idea. Once the clean-up starts happening even the stragglers should get the hint and leave though.
I actually said this. We had invited close friends back to our suite the night of for an after party- they stayed until 3am. Finally I was like I love you guys but its our first night as H and W so get out.
OP- my big cue is when the alcohol is put up/bar is closed.
Agreed. I think cake being served is the socially acceptable, "It's OK if you leave now". Some couples cut their cake right after dinner, others do it as part of the late night buffet, but it's not usually done as the last thing. A more traditional reception would have the bar give last call, or the DJ announce the last song of the night.