Hi all, my fiancee and I set our wedding date around 5 months ago. My father just announced his intention to marry his fiancee 10 weeks before my wedding because he didn't think that planning his nuptials only 10 weeks in advance would be any concern. Thoughts?
10 weeks?! That's 2.5 months. That is the difference between Christmas and St Patrick's! You get one day. He gets one day.
Just for curiousity's sake, just how many weeks do you think is appropriate for friends and family to be forced to celebrate you before they are allowed to move on with their lives?
Hi all, my fiancee and I set our wedding date around 5 months ago. My father just announced his intention to marry his fiancee 10 weeks before my wedding because he didn't think that planning his nuptials only 10 weeks in advance would be any concern. Thoughts?
You get one day. If he gets married 10 weeks before you, your father will be married before your invitations even go out. I'm not sure I understand what your concern is?
We picked our wedding date in December for July. In February my MIL decided to get married at the end of March. My only concern was whether I'd be able to get off work to go to her wedding on such short notice. I had zero concerns about timing between the two.
What is your question? I hope you have congratulated your Father and his Fiancee, and are planning to attend their wedding, assuming you are invited.
As to addressing your invitations, eight weeks before you wedding, they will be Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesfather.
"Mr and Mrs John Bridesfather"? Isn't that presumptive? Probably best to wait til their wedding and see how they are announced, and thereafter how they continue to refer to themselves.
What is your question? I hope you have congratulated your Father and his Fiancee, and are planning to attend their wedding, assuming you are invited.
As to addressing your invitations, eight weeks before you wedding, they will be Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesfather.
"Mr and Mrs John Bridesfather"? Isn't that presumptive? Probably best to wait til their wedding and see how they are announced, and thereafter how they continue to refer to themselves.
Nice quoting PPs. Jeez OP stand by your words you don't have to delete everything just bc you were wrong.
One of my sisters and I were engaged 3 days apart and married less than 6 months from each other. One of our cousins was married between us. We checked dates with VIPs but the rest of the family figured it out (if it's truly family members traveling that you're worried about). I really hope the true concern isn't worry over your father and FSM stealing your thunder, since everyone gets one day.
Ditto @eileenrob...my sister's wedding is 10 weeks after mine (maybe 11, I'm bad at calendar math). Guess what? She came to mine, I'm going to hers, and the VIPs for both weddings were asked about the dates and said it was fine. Mine involved travel (mostly car) for a good deal of our family and hers is out of the country.
What is your question? I hope you have congratulated your Father and his Fiancee, and are planning to attend their wedding, assuming you are invited.
As to addressing your invitations, eight weeks before you wedding, they will be Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesfather.
"Mr and Mrs John Bridesfather"? Isn't that presumptive? Probably best to wait til their wedding and see how they are announced, and thereafter how they continue to refer to themselves.
And plus also, an invitation is not a summons. Family can decide to attend his wedding OR yours (or both)--make sure you send out save the dates so they'll know you have a wedding coming up, too, and they can make an informed decision. People always have to weigh their options for events--maybe there's another wedding in between both of yours for a good friend, or they've been planning a vacation for years and the date happens to coincide with your wedding, or they can't afford to travel to any event right now--you never know what will cause a guest to accept or decline your invitation. As long as you've checked with your VIPs before selecting your date, there's really nothing else you can do to guarantee attendance. You're allowed to be bummed out if your friends/family can't make it to your wedding, but don't blame it on anyone else.
What is your question? I hope you have congratulated your Father and his Fiancee, and are planning to attend their wedding, assuming you are invited.
As to addressing your invitations, eight weeks before you wedding, they will be Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesfather.
"Mr and Mrs John Bridesfather"? Isn't that presumptive? Probably best to wait til their wedding and see how they are announced, and thereafter how they continue to refer to themselves.
Yes, I agree. I tend to use traditional formats, especially concerning weddings. If the couple prefers a different form of address then you should use it. My point was that by the time her wedding invitations go out, her father will already be married, and the invitation should be addressed to the married couple.
Since the OP so rudely deleted her question (?) and comment, I doubt if she cares.
@missfrodo I struggled to put those exact sentiments into words so thank you!
OP it is a bummer when another event gets chosen over your event, but there are always gonna be other events to choose from! Your father is under no obligation to leave the month / season / year to your wedding only.
If a family member planned a wedding to happen a little before mine, which already had a date/venue, I'd do the following:
1. Assume my VIPs had already agreed to my date, so they'd be there no matter what--maybe that means skipping the other wedding, maybe that means going to both.
2. Send Save-the-Dates, even if I wasn't originally planning on it, so the rest of my guest list would know that my wedding is upcoming and could factor that information into their decision as to which wedding to attend.
3. Figure my father's wedding would affect about 20% of my guest list only, and just let it go if most people choose that wedding over mine (assuming 20% each for each parent and 20% friends).
4. Be excited that a family member is happy and deciding to get married to someone they love.
5. Be happy to have a family member who may want to do some wedding planning stuff with me, and be more excited to talk about weddings non-stop than the average person.
6. Be thankful the person didn't try to plan the wedding for the week or two before or after my wedding, knowing I'd likely be very busy or on my honeymoon during that time and wouldn't get to enjoy their wedding as much as I will since it's so far away from mine.
7. Be grateful you CAN get married (if you're in the U.S.) There are people in power who would love to make same-sex (and probably interracial and interfaith next) marriages illegal again
Re: Deleted
10 weeks?! That's 2.5 months. That is the difference between Christmas and St Patrick's! You get one day. He gets one day.
Just for curiousity's sake, just how many weeks do you think is appropriate for friends and family to be forced to celebrate you before they are allowed to move on with their lives?
You get one day. If he gets married 10 weeks before you, your father will be married before your invitations even go out. I'm not sure I understand what your concern is?
As to addressing your invitations, eight weeks before you wedding, they will be Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesfather.
That's not your concern. I'm sure your relative can make that decision for themselves.
Let it go.
"Mr and Mrs John Bridesfather"? Isn't that presumptive? Probably best to wait til their wedding and see how they are announced, and thereafter how they continue to refer to themselves.
Or ask them
One of my sisters and I were engaged 3 days apart and married less than 6 months from each other. One of our cousins was married between us. We checked dates with VIPs but the rest of the family figured it out (if it's truly family members traveling that you're worried about). I really hope the true concern isn't worry over your father and FSM stealing your thunder, since everyone gets one day.
Haha. Yes, or that.
Yes, I agree. I tend to use traditional formats, especially concerning weddings. If the couple prefers a different form of address then you should use it. My point was that by the time her wedding invitations go out, her father will already be married, and the invitation should be addressed to the married couple.
Since the OP so rudely deleted her question (?) and comment, I doubt if she cares.
OP it is a bummer when another event gets chosen over your event, but there are always gonna be other events to choose from! Your father is under no obligation to leave the month / season / year to your wedding only.
1. Assume my VIPs had already agreed to my date, so they'd be there no matter what--maybe that means skipping the other wedding, maybe that means going to both.
2. Send Save-the-Dates, even if I wasn't originally planning on it, so the rest of my guest list would know that my wedding is upcoming and could factor that information into their decision as to which wedding to attend.
3. Figure my father's wedding would affect about 20% of my guest list only, and just let it go if most people choose that wedding over mine (assuming 20% each for each parent and 20% friends).
4. Be excited that a family member is happy and deciding to get married to someone they love.
5. Be happy to have a family member who may want to do some wedding planning stuff with me, and be more excited to talk about weddings non-stop than the average person.
6. Be thankful the person didn't try to plan the wedding for the week or two before or after my wedding, knowing I'd likely be very busy or on my honeymoon during that time and wouldn't get to enjoy their wedding as much as I will since it's so far away from mine.
8. Get over yourself already.