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Crazy bridesmaid

NicoleK86NicoleK86 member
Combo Breaker First Anniversary
in Moms and Maids
my maid and cousin has crossed the line and I'm ready to give her the boot...she knows I do not like my future SIL and 5 months ago my cousin didn't like her either but she ran into her and out of nowhere my cousin calls me up to tell me how good she looks and how nice she is and gushing about her...I wanted to jump thru the phone! And the day before she was talking smack about my dress and makeup...I want to demote her and not talk to her anymore...Am I out of line? Bc I feel like that was a complete violation of trust and loyalty...she clearly did not have my back 
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Re: Crazy bridesmaid

  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    NicoleK86 said:

    my maid and cousin has crossed the line and I'm ready to give her the boot...she knows I do not like my future SIL and 5 months ago my cousin didn't like her either but she ran into her and out of nowhere my cousin calls me up to tell me how good she looks and how nice she is and gushing about her...I wanted to jump thru the phone! And the day before she was talking smack about my dress and makeup...I want to demote her and not talk to her anymore...Am I out of line? Bc I feel like that was a complete violation of trust and loyalty...she clearly did not have my back 


    Why don't you like your FSIL? Is it for something serious or petty? 
    Demoting a bridemaid is a friendship ending move. All your cousin did was make a new friend and express a difference in taste of clothing and makeup. Is that really worth ending your friendship over? 
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    NicoleK86 said:

    my maid and cousin has crossed the line and I'm ready to give her the boot...she knows I do not like my future SIL and 5 months ago my cousin didn't like her either but she ran into her and out of nowhere my cousin calls me up to tell me how good she looks and how nice she is and gushing about her...I wanted to jump thru the phone! And the day before she was talking smack about my dress and makeup...I want to demote her and not talk to her anymore...Am I out of line? Bc I feel like that was a complete violation of trust and loyalty...she clearly did not have my back 


    Good lord.  How old are you?  13?



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  • knottiebe015f32487724e2knottiebe015f32487724e2 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    You have gone too far I think.
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  • lnixon8lnixon8 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    How have you been here for 3 years and not know the answer to this redic question?


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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    What? Have your crossed the line? You're so far past the line I doubt you can see it anymore. 


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  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2017


    NicoleK86 said:


    my maid and cousin has crossed the line and I'm ready to give her the boot...she knows I do not like my future SIL and 5 months ago my cousin didn't like her either but she ran into her and out of nowhere my cousin calls me up to tell me how good she looks and how nice she is and gushing about her...I wanted to jump thru the phone! And the day before she was talking smack about my dress and makeup...I want to demote her and not talk to her anymore...Am I out of line? Bc I feel like that was a complete violation of trust and loyalty...she clearly did not have my back 




    1. Grow the fuck up.
    2. Try to develop a relationship with your FSIL. My SIL is a very unhappy person who grew up in a dysfunctional family and seems intent on perpetuating those problems in her own family. Guess what? FW and I are still kind and loving to her. (ETA: not in hopes that she'll change, but because it's the right thing to do)
    3. See #1.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Because you don't like someone, she can't be friends with them? Are y'all in 4th grade?

    So what if she doesn't like your dress and make-up? As long as you like them, who cares?

    Kicking someone out of your wedding is a relationship altering/ending move. You'd do that because she likes your SIL and not your dress/make-up? I mean, ok. But if your standards are that low, you're in for a life full of constant drama and loneliness.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    4. Get some help with anger management. Clearly you have a problem if something like this is making you consider kicking out a bridesmaid.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Are you for real? Jfc, grow up. 


    image
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    Please tell me the number in your username doesn't mean you were born in 86. . . . . you cannot be 30 and acting this way!


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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    NicoleK86 said:

    my maid and cousin has crossed the line and I'm ready to give her the boot...she knows I do not like my future SIL and 5 months ago my cousin didn't like her either but she ran into her and out of nowhere my cousin calls me up to tell me how good she looks and how nice she is and gushing about her...So? People are allowed to change their opinions of other people. Assuming your FSIL is truly a person worthy of your and your cousin's dislike, maybe she changed. Maybe you cousin realized her opinion of your FSIL was wrong. Maybe she's just willing to let bygones be bygones.  I wanted to jump thru the phone! Why? If you don't want to talk about her, change the subject when your cousin was done or ignore it. And the day before she was talking smack about my dress and makeup...Rude if she's saying this to your face, but just ignore it. If you heard she was saying things second hand, again, ignore it. She doesn't have to like your dress or makeup. I want to demote her and not talk to her anymore...Am I out of line?   Yes. Bc I feel like that was a complete violation of trust and loyalty...she clearly did not have my back 



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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I get that it can be a little jarring when someone suddenly changes their opinion of a person, but that doesn't make them crazy. And it certainly doesn't warrant kicking someone out of your wedding party. 
    image
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  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2017
    Did I mention giving your future SIL a chance? You're going to be family as long as you're married to her sibling. You need to be at least respectful and civil.
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  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    lovesclimbing said:
    my maid and cousin has crossed the line and I'm ready to give her the boot...she knows I do not like my future SIL and 5 months ago my cousin didn't like her either but she ran into her and out of nowhere my cousin calls me up to tell me how good she looks and how nice she is and gushing about her...So? People are allowed to change their opinions of other people. Assuming your FSIL is truly a person worthy of your and your cousin's dislike, maybe she changed. Maybe you cousin realized her opinion of your FSIL was wrong. Maybe she's just willing to let bygones be bygones.  I wanted to jump thru the phone! Why? If you don't want to talk about her, change the subject when your cousin was done or ignore it. And the day before she was talking smack about my dress and makeup...Rude if she's saying this to your face, but just ignore it. If you heard she was saying things second hand, again, ignore it. She doesn't have to like your dress or makeup. I want to demote her and not talk to her anymore...Am I out of line?   Yes. Bc I feel like that was a complete violation of trust and loyalty...she clearly did not have my back 

    SITB
    As to the italicized...this is especially true if the cousin's opinion about FSIL are based on what the bride has said about her and not on her own experiences.
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