Before i say anything else. I just wanted to be clear on one thing. My relationship isnt in question here. I love my fiancé and i wouldnt have said yes unless i meant it.
This will be my second wedding, and his first.
My first marriage lasted five years.
Big wedding and all. We ended it and got a divorce after realizing we had drifted apart and became different people. Nothing bad, no kids, just realized we weren't happy and wanted a civil ending and to go our separate ways.
There's an old saying that you dont know who your friends are until you are alone.
I guess i didnt realize i didn't have any at all until we divorced.
Everyone i knew, considered friends, people i was godmother to thier kids, known for years, was in thier weddings..just dropped me. I would get on facebook and see where they were 100% supportive with my ex. Had him over for partys, dinners, etc. i was supposed to be a bridesmaid for one of my high school friends i graduated with. She told me she had one bridesmaid too many, and had to drop me. I was fine with that and understood..i never received an invite, come the wedding day, she posted pics of wedding party with three additional bm's..oh and behold..my ex as a groomsmen. Ok. I get it. I was only around because of him. I got over it and dropped them as well. No need for rubbing it in my face, sharing pics of him with you saying stuff like "now that is what happiness looks like." knowing i can see it because im still friends with you on facebook at that point.
So now as we are planning to say i do my fiance wants a wedding and i dont blame him. I know what it was like planning for my first. Its exciting and he wants to experience that as well.
He wants his family there to celebrate with us, but honestly..i dont want no one but us there. To elope and maybe do a celebration dinner with his family afterwards. The people that were my world..My mother, both sets of grandparents, my only two aunts, all have passed.
The only people that will be there for me are my dad and brother.
My dad makes it a point every time the wedding is even mentioned to make a thirty minute argument about why we have to spend so much money on one day, too far to travel, etc. He isnt paying for it, just opinated. Loves me, just different.
My brother is only coming as he said it earlier "your my sister, i kinda have to go."
I asked my future SIL to be my maid of honor, her reply was uh, ok, but why me?
And my other bm is a mutual friend who i simply asked and said yes.
Ive never even hung out with her before, but i dont have anyone else to ask and she seemed nice. (Sad, i know)
To put it simply. This wedding would be for my fiance and his family to enjoy.
I dont have anyone to be supportive on my end aside from my fiancé.
Why pay so much money for a big wedding that i just dont even want?
He knows i dont want one, but its his day too. Im just trying to find a way to give us what we both want, without me having to be reminded on our wedding day that the people i want the most there, just simply cant be there.. Its emotional for me to even think about, and i dont want to end up a wedding dress locked in my hotel room bawling my eyes out all day until i go down the aisle. Im lost guys..help.