Dear Prudence,
I have a friend “Allen” who I believe is being manipulated and emotionally abused by his significant other. Over the course of their relationship, his (now) wife: 1) has joined herself to Allen’s hip so that he can’t make plans with others that don’t include her (surprisingly, he was able to have a guys-only day for his bachelor party), 2) when they do attend events and parties together, she occupies about 90 percent of his social interactions, 3) she has drastically changed his diet (former meat-lover to hard-core vegan), 4) has rushed him into their life events (moving in together, proposing, getting married, buying a house, and she has even named their future children). On that note, I do respect that every couple is different and proceeds with such life events at their own pace, but I know that she actually forced him to propose to her, even throwing a fit at a mutual friend’s wedding a while back as they still weren’t engaged by then.
Since they got married in September, he has stopped speaking to me, my boyfriend, and a few of our other mutual friends, when he was previously very close to us. I feel that this is her doing, and that she’s trying to control who he talks to now. The thing is, Allen avoids any and all confrontation like the plague, so he just lets this all happen and refuses to respond if anyone tries to reach out to him. Some of us have asked him if he’s OK, if he needs help, as he is visibly miserable, but he just ignores us. It’s possible that she even monitors Allen’s phone and computer use. Is there anything else we can do for Allen, or are we forced to watch this train wreck from afar?