Renewal at 1 year.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c · May 2017

I had as close to my dream wedding we could. I wanted Hubs and our 2 kids at the courthouse with the JP, no one else there. We were going to do it around 2 months after our only son (second child) was born. The day before we were planning on getting our license, our son ended up in the hospital with a recessive genetic disorder that he could never recover from. Since the kids & I were on Medicaid, getting married would mean that we would end up with big bills (I saw the final from his tests & stay, over $600,000 by his death) and possible fraud charges. (My older child & I got on Hubs insurance the first of the month after our son died.)
We finally pulled ourselves back together and rescheduled 5 months later than planned. The original plan also included renewing at 5 years with a reception where I would dance with our son & he would with our daughter. Our immediate family knew these plans. A few days after we went to the courthouse (with just our daughter and a friend who stepped up crazy as our son was dying) his family got to him (including his sister saying it must be so lonely to do this, while she's planning her second wedding--claiming that she wants it to be small which to her is at the MLB stadium) and now he wants to renew at 1 year. I would be happy to not Do anything, ever, but he's insistent.
Do is wear a different color dress? Ivory, cream, blush, canary...
Do we include our son in the ceremony & invitation? (by then our third child, another daughter, will be born) "(2 daughters'-maybe son-names) happily invite you to the public vow exchange of their parents, (our first/middle names), on (date) at (time) at (place)" so on. Girls will have cream dresses.
Dances with our parents?

Thanks!

Edit to add: He knows I would be taking the traditional male role & he would be doing majority of the planning besides my dress (which as I was looking, falls more into "bridesmaid" not "bridal" gown. (And like $20-50 depending on which one..) I don't want a registry, shower, bridal party, but my bacholorette party was cancelled due to illness and weather and so I wouldn't mind that.
Thank you for your help so far. I will re-route to grand first anniversary party (been looking at restaurants, not halls, anyway)

Jen4948 · May 2017

I'd just have a first anniversary party and invite everyone you like.

But since you're already married, don't reenact your wedding ceremony or have bridal touches like a registry, attendants, or a bridal gown.

Edited to add: I'm very sorry for the loss of your son.

LondonLisa · May 2017

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

I had as close to my dream wedding we could. I wanted Hubs and our 2 kids at the courthouse with the JP, no one else there. We were going to do it around 2 months after our only son (second child) was born. The day before we were planning on getting our license, our son ended up in the hospital with a recessive genetic disorder that he could never recover from. Since the kids & I were on Medicaid, getting married would mean that we would end up with big bills (I saw the final from his tests & stay, over $600,000 by his death) and possible fraud charges. (My older child & I got on Hubs insurance the first of the month after our son died.)
We finally pulled ourselves back together and rescheduled 5 months later than planned. The original plan also included renewing at 5 years with a reception where I would dance with our son & he would with our daughter. Our immediate family knew these plans. A few days after we went to the courthouse (with just our daughter and a friend who stepped up crazy as our son was dying) his family got to him (including his sister saying it must be so lonely to do this, while she's planning her second wedding--claiming that she wants it to be small which to her is at the MLB stadium) and now he wants to renew at 1 year. I would be happy to not Do anything, ever, but he's insistent.
Do is wear a different color dress? Ivory, cream, blush, canary...
Do we include our son in the ceremony & invitation? (by then our third child, another daughter, will be born) "(2 daughters'-maybe son-names) happily invite you to the public vow exchange of their parents, (our first/middle names), on (date) at (time) at (place)" so on. Girls will have cream dresses.
Dances with our parents?

Thanks!

Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss.

A vow renewal is usually just a party. So you just wear a dress that you like in any colour you like. Get something you feel fabulous in. Remember it's not a wedding part 2, it's just a party. So just don't do anything 'bridal'. No bridal shower, bridal party, wedding gifts etc.

You are welcome to make toasts and promises to each other.

Secondly, hosts are listed on the invite, not children. So no, I would not list your children on the invitations.

You are welcome to have dances with your family however you want, but keep the spotlight dances to a minimum (this is just general party advice, by spotlight 2 it's exhausting). By all means dance with everyone you want, but open up the dance floor for others to dance as well.

But it the bigger question is why your husband feels that he has to do this. Is it a competition thing? Is he avoiding other issues by focusing on this?

I love the idea of just throwing a fun 1 year anniversary party. It will be so much more relaxed and fun. Personally, I'm not really a fan of renewals (vows don't expire and at renewals they always seem so forced/non-concequential), but I love a good anniversary party with dinner and dancing, and some great toasts/speeches from the husband and wife.

[Deleted User] · May 2017

A one year renewal isn't weird. It's just a party.

short+sassy · May 2017

I am so sorry for the loss of your son!

I'm also wondering what your H's deal is with a 1-year vow renewal. It doesn't sound like something you want to do and your opinion matters just as much as his! I mean, you all recently lost your son. You're currently pregnant. I know people are different and maybe you are okay with planning this party. Don't misunderstand, no judgments at all...but, if I were in your situation, that is the LAST thing I would want to be doing. And if that is how you are feeling also, your H needs to be more sensitive to your feelings.

At any rate, like the other PPs have mentioned, vow renewals are odd for a 1-year or even a 5-year anniversary. Just have a great anniversary party. As a guest, I personally wouldn't side-eye a vow renewal, but I would find it weird.

You can wear whatever dress matches the casual/formality of the party you all are hosting. It can be whatever color you want. But I'd avoid a big, floofy wedding dress. Like my previous paragraph, I wouldn't side-eye it. It doesn't hurt anyone. But I'd find it odd.

Invitations should always come from the host. If I received an invitation from my host's young living children, I would also chalk that up into the "odd" column. But wouldn't side-eye it too much. With all that said, if you all still want to go that route, do not include your son's name. Of course, he will always be your child and I don't mean to be indelicate, but a deceased person cannot issue an invitation. As a guest, I would find that really jarring. Depending on how close I was to you all, I might even wonder if I had been very mistaken and your son had survived his illness.

mollybarker11 · May 2017

OP, I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Congratulations on your marriage and pregnancy.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

The original plan also included renewing at 5 years [...] A few days after we went to the courthouse (with just our daughter and a friend who stepped up crazy as our son was dying) his family got to him (including his sister saying it must be so lonely to do this [...]) and now he wants to renew at 1 year. I would be happy to not Do anything, ever, but he's insistent.

Vow renewals generally only take place when a couple has come through a rough patch in their marriage and wants to reaffirm their commitment to each other, or as a unique way to celebrate a big milestone anniversary (think 50+ years). I would suggest throwing an anniversary party instead. It is more appropriate and, bonus, has fewer elements to coordinate! Your SIL's comment about your wedding being "lonely" was uncalled for and ridiculous. Perhaps his family feels excluded since they weren't in attendance at your wedding, but attending a renewal won't change that fact. What's done is done.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

Do is wear a different color dress? Ivory, cream, blush, canary...

You can wear any dress you choose! Wear whatever colour makes you feel most beautiful.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:
Do we include our son in the ceremony & invitation? (by then our third child, another daughter, will be born) "(2 daughters'-maybe son-names) happily invite you to the public vow exchange of their parents, (our first/middle names), on (date) at (time) at (place)" so on.

The person extending the invitation is who guests would go to with questions and responses, so it simply does not make sense to name children or deceased people as host. If you do choose to go ahead with a vow renewal instead of a party, please be sure that your wording accurately conveys this, i.e.

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

request the honour of your presence

as they reaffirm their marriage vows

Date

Time

Venue

Address

Indicating "public vow exchange" does imply that there was a private vow exchange at some point, but it is best to be as clear as possible so no one is confused as to whether or not you are already married!

I personally would not include your late son in the renewal ceremony itself. It may be too sad if attention is drawn to his absence. I would instead opt to include mementos, perhaps wear a locket with his photo or have decor in his favourite colour.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

Dances with our parents?

Dance the night away! But I agree with pp that spotlight dances are unnecessary. I understand the tradition of the host couple "opening the dance floor" as it were, but aside from that I say dance with whoever you'd like to along with everyone else.

JediElizabeth · May 2017

My heart's really breaking for you and your son, OP. If someone close to me had gone through what you did, I'd honestly give them carte blanche to do whatever they wanted without side-eye, as long as they weren't sacrificing the comfort of their guests.

CMGragain · May 2017

I will be happy to help you with invitation wording. One year is really too soon for a vow renewal, though. Most people wait at least ten years. I second the other posters that you should throw a wonderful anniversary party. You could wear a formal gown, have dinner, dancing, everything except the ceremony.

As for wording, children never function as hosts. Deceased persons should not appear on an invitation, either. Try this for an anniversary party:

The pleasure of your company is requested

to celebrate the first wedding annniversary of

Mr. and Mrs. John Marriedcouple

Saturday, the day of September

at six o'clock

Venue Name

Address

Anytown, Iowa

If you insist on the vow renewal ceremony:

The pleasure of your company is requested as

Mr. and Mrs. John Marriedcouple

reaffirm their marriage vows

Saturday, the day of September

(etc.)

Reception to follow

I hope you have a lovely party. Here is a great vow renewal website to guide you for either a vow renewal or an anniversary party. Notice it says no wedding dress, no bridesmaids or groomsmen, no bouquet tosses or cake cutting and feeding each other ceremony. (Serving cake is fine!) Other than this, you can dance the night away and celebrate with your family and friends. https://www.idotaketwo.com/blog/vow-renewal-etiquette-2/

I am afraid I have to agree with the others that this is not the time or place to memorialize your late son. I'm sure everyone knows your sorrow, and that you have survived great heartbreak. Concentrate on the future at this event. I hope it hold many good things for you and your family.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c · June 2017

LondonLisa, My dad & his mom feel "cheated" on not having the dances, so spotlight dances.
I have read other places in the case of 25 or 50th anniversaries/renewals it can be "hosted" either by couple or children. Though we are paying, I am debating on the kids appearing to host.
He is a momma's boy & wants to do as his mother wants over what we agreed to.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c · June 2017

scribe95 said:

I think anytime when you get married you already are planning a bigger to-do it's just weird. You had a rough situation and chose what you chose. Own it. A one-year renewal is just weird. You are married. Live your life! Stop trying to recreate it the way it "should" be.

As I said, I got my dream. My husband wants to do what his mom only voiced after the fact.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c · June 2017

short+sassy said:

I am so sorry for the loss of your son!
I'm also wondering what your H's deal is with a 1-year vow renewal. It doesn't sound like something you want to do and your opinion matters just as much as his! I mean, you all recently lost your son. You're currently pregnant. I know people are different and maybe you are okay with planning this party. Don't misunderstand, no judgments at all...but, if I were in your situation, that is the LAST thing I would want to be doing. And if that is how you are feeling also, your H needs to be more sensitive to your feelings.
At any rate, like the other PPs have mentioned, vow renewals are odd for a 1-year or even a 5-year anniversary. Just have a great anniversary party. As a guest, I personally wouldn't side-eye a vow renewal, but I would find it weird.
You can wear whatever dress matches the casual/formality of the party you all are hosting. It can be whatever color you want. But I'd avoid a big, floofy wedding dress. Like my previous paragraph, I wouldn't side-eye it. It doesn't hurt anyone. But I'd find it odd.
Invitations should always come from the host. If I received an invitation from my host's young living children, I would also chalk that up into the "odd" column. But wouldn't side-eye it too much. With all that said, if you all still want to go that route, do not include your son's name. Of course, he will always be your child and I don't mean to be indelicate, but a deceased person cannot issue an invitation. As a guest, I would find that really jarring. Depending on how close I was to you all, I might even wonder if I had been very mistaken and your son had survived his illness.

We would have something like "and the memory of (son)" No one would think he survived, we had his "supposed to be first birthday" hosting dinner for guests at Ronald McDonald House.
I don't want a poofy dress by any means. Honestly, as I've looked at at dresses most are more "bridesmaid dresses".
He wants to do as his family wants, thus reception/renewal. I told him if he wants this, I'm taking the traditional male role "tell me where to be & when to check out (cake, place, centerpieces..) and the only traditional thing I would want is a bacholorette party (mine was canceled this year due to storm & having a bad cold... It was a women only belly dancing event at a local place). I am not jumping for it, but not against it.

LondonLisa · June 2017

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

LondonLisa, My dad & his mom feel "cheated" on not having the dances, so spotlight dances.
I have read other places in the case of 25 or 50th anniversaries/renewals it can be "hosted" either by couple or children. Though we are paying, I am debating on the kids appearing to host.
He is a momma's boy & wants to do as his mother wants over what we agreed to.

From what you said, your children must not even be school aged yet. When children host 25 or 50th anniversary parties, it is because they are adults. A one and three year old cannot host a party, nor be cognisant enough to invite people to a party. Its just a bit too 'precious' and off putting to have them play host. And as much sympathy as I have for your situation, I agree it is jarring to have the deceased mentioned as hosts. I would also wonder if I misread the situation.

By all means, dance with them, buy them special outfits, toast them, take special photographs with them. But I would strongly advise not having children you cannot even legally leave unsupervised be 'hosting' this party.

But what I am hearing over and over again is you bending over backwards to please everyone else. You were dealt a horrible situation, and it seems like you really made the best of it. The big question is: What do YOU want? Don't think about Husband, family obligations etc etc. And please don't say to make everyone happy, because that often means sacrificing your own happiness. Don't think about his mum or your dad, they'll get over it (frankly anyone who sulks over your courthouse wedding under the heartbreaking circumstances as a dance that THEY were cheated out of is a horrible, horrible person!). But it is jarring that your husband would put you through something you don't want, especially given the circumstances, just to make his mum happy. That is really not OK.

It just seems like all these people are being incredibly selfish, and not checking in with what you want.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c · June 2017

As you can see, we did it up at Town Hall. I loved it! When I talk to hubs later, I will put it as a grand first anniversary party. We did exchange private (standard, non-emotional) vows, so that's why I said "public vow exchange".
Thank you all for your input.

LondonLisa · June 2017

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

As you can see, we did it up at Town Hall. I loved it! When I talk to hubs later, I will put it as a grand first anniversary party. We did exchange private (standard, non-emotional) vows, so that's why I said "public vow exchange".
Thank you all for your input.

You look beautiful- I love your flower crown. And your daughter is adorable.

Just don't get lost trying to please everyone. You have had enough stress to last a lifetime to internalise and try to please sulking adults. If you and your H want to make public declarations and promises to each other at the party, that, of course, is fine.

I really hope it works out for you. Please stick around- it is a really good community here, and I am sure everyone would be happy to help you plan your party. People on here have great wording advice for invitations, budget advice, flowers, dresses-- you name it.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c · June 2017

Just don't get lost trying to please everyone. You have had enough stress to last a lifetime to internalise and try to please sulking adults. If you and your H want to make public declarations and promises to each other at the party, that, of course, is fine.

If you knew everything... My 3 year old was born 29 weeks due to severe preeclampsia and spent 2 months in the NICU! Great now, but yes, enough stress!

CMGragain · June 2017

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

We would have something like "and the memory of (son)" No one would think he survived, we had his "supposed to be first birthday" hosting dinner for guests at Ronald McDonald House.
I don't want a poofy dress by any means. Honestly, as I've looked at at dresses most are more "bridesmaid dresses".
He wants to do as his family wants, thus reception/renewal. I told him if he wants this, I'm taking the traditional male role "tell me where to be & when to check out (cake, place, centerpieces..) and the only traditional thing I would want is a bacholorette party (mine was canceled this year due to storm & having a bad cold... It was a women only belly dancing event at a local place). I am not jumping for it, but not against it.

I am very sorry, but the bachelorette party ship sailed long ago. Really, they are optional anyway. They aren't a tradition. When I was a bride, no one did them. They are given for you by other people when you are a bride-to-be. That doesn't mean you can't throw a girl's party night out. Just don't make it a part of your celebration. You can invite some friends for a night out at your favorite bar or club.

I'm a little confused at how you are listing your late son. His name, or any reference to him, really does not belong on an invitation. It would be shocking and disturbing to some people. Surely you wouldn't want that?
We often get questions from brides who want to list a deceased parent on their invitation. We have to tell them that this is against etiquette, though they can honor them in their program. This would be the place where you could print a brief memorial to your late son.

The bridesmaid style dress sounds fine, Did you check out the link I gave you?

knottied6acac2d1b10530c · June 2017

I am going to a reception for a wedding this weekend (they got married 4 weeks ago in Las Vegas with 14 witnesses and reception locally) where the invitation says "(brides living mother & stepfather) invite you to the wedding of their daughter (wife name) to (husband name) son of (groom's deceased parents)...so on" Is this so different?

Ro041 · June 2017

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

I am going to a reception for a wedding this weekend (they got married 4 weeks ago in Las Vegas with 14 witnesses and reception locally) where the invitation says "(brides living mother & stepfather) invite you to the wedding of their daughter (wife name) to (husband name) son of (groom's deceased parents)...so on" Is this so different?

I think so because they aren't saying the deceased parents are hosting the event. ETA: It's also traditional to name the parents on an invitation. It's not tradition to name children.

Also, why are they inviting you to a wedding that happened a month ago?

knottied6acac2d1b10530c · June 2017

RoO41, this is how it is. They had an intimate destination ceremony in May and we all spent 5 nights of crazy dinners (I bet MOB spent $2-4K each night on dinner for 16). Reception will likely be 75-100 people this weekend.
Also, thoughts on re-wearing the dress I wore to the ceremony? MOB & SOB (who was MOH) are wearing their dresses again. My hubs (Best Man) is wearing a suit rather than tux.

CMGragain · June 2017

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

I am going to a reception for a wedding this weekend (they got married 4 weeks ago in Las Vegas with 14 witnesses and reception locally) where the invitation says "(brides living mother & stepfather) invite you to the wedding of their daughter (wife name) to (husband name) son of (groom's deceased parents)...so on" Is this so different?

Just because you see someone do it, does not make it proper etiquette.

The invitation is a formal note from the HOSTS to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where. It is not the place to list family members, and it is not traditional for anyone who is not hosting to appear on the invitation, except for the bridal couple, of course. Children under the age of 21 and deceased persons cannot host an event, and their names should not appear on the invitation. It is OK for their names to be on the program, however.

Receptions are for the guests who attend the ceremony to thank them for coming. If this is a true wedding reception, then it is not good etiquette to have it on a different day than the ceremony. On the other hand, if it is simply a party to celebrate the marriage, then OK.

I hope this explains things. Remember, you are not planning a wedding; you are planning a vow renewal. The rules are a bit different than for a wedding.

short+sassy · June 2017

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

RoO41, this is how it is. They had an intimate destination ceremony in May and we all spent 5 nights of crazy dinners (I bet MOB spent $2-4K each night on dinner for 16). Reception will likely be 75-100 people this weekend.
Also, thoughts on re-wearing the dress I wore to the ceremony? MOB & SOB (who was MOH) are wearing their dresses again. My hubs (Best Man) is wearing a suit rather than tux.

I don't see anything wrong with that. I know I wish I had more opportunities to wear my nicer dresses, lol.

LondonLisa · June 2017

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

I am going to a reception for a wedding this weekend (they got married 4 weeks ago in Las Vegas with 14 witnesses and reception locally) where the invitation says "(brides living mother & stepfather) invite you to the wedding of their daughter (wife name) to (husband name) son of (groom's deceased parents)...so on" Is this so different?

So this is actually inappropriate. The only place for mentioning the deceased is in the programme or in a newspaper wedding announcement. A written invitation is just a more formal version of a verbal invitation. When you have the deceased on there, it is the equivalent of getting a phone call from me saying 'My late husband and I would like to have you over for dinner'. You see how that is jarring and uncomfortable?

Similarly, a small child cannot call people to invite them to a party. This is why it is not appropriate to have your children on the invitation as hosts.

As for your dress, wear whatever you feel fabulous in. You look lovely in the photos and it looks like it fits you really nicely. If that is what you want to wear, go for it.

Subwayloves · June 2017

CMGragain said:

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

I am going to a reception for a wedding this weekend (they got married 4 weeks ago in Las Vegas with 14 witnesses and reception locally) where the invitation says "(brides living mother & stepfather) invite you to the wedding of their daughter (wife name) to (husband name) son of (groom's deceased parents)...so on" Is this so different?

Just because you see someone do it, does not make it proper etiquette.

The invitation is a formal note from the HOSTS to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where. It is not the place to list family members, and it is not traditional for anyone who is not hosting to appear on the invitation, except for the bridal couple, of course. Children under the age of 21 and deceased persons cannot host an event, and their names should not appear on the invitation. It is OK for their names to be on the program, however.

Receptions are for the guests who attend the ceremony to thank them for coming. If this is a true wedding reception, then it is not good etiquette to have it on a different day than the ceremony. On the other hand, if it is simply a party to celebrate the marriage, then OK.

I hope this explains things. Remember, you are not planning a wedding; you are planning a vow renewal. The rules are a bit different than for a wedding.

Off topic: Why the random age of 21? I hosted multiple parties (birthdays for H, anniversary for my parents) when I was under 21. I completely understand that CHILDREN cannot host a party, but someone who is 18-20 years old is not a child, and certainly at this age or maybe even a bit younger can host a party.

short+sassy · June 2017

Subwayloves said:

CMGragain said:

Just because you see someone do it, does not make it proper etiquette.

The invitation is a formal note from the HOSTS to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where. It is not the place to list family members, and it is not traditional for anyone who is not hosting to appear on the invitation, except for the bridal couple, of course. Children under the age of 21 and deceased persons cannot host an event, and their names should not appear on the invitation. It is OK for their names to be on the program, however.

Receptions are for the guests who attend the ceremony to thank them for coming. If this is a true wedding reception, then it is not good etiquette to have it on a different day than the ceremony. On the other hand, if it is simply a party to celebrate the marriage, then OK.

I hope this explains things. Remember, you are not planning a wedding; you are planning a vow renewal. The rules are a bit different than for a wedding.

Off topic: Why the random age of 21? I hosted multiple parties (birthdays for H, anniversary for my parents) when I was under 21. I completely understand that CHILDREN cannot host a party, but someone who is 18-20 years old is not a child, and certainly at this age or maybe even a bit younger can host a party.

Because then who would buy the beer and wine, lol !

Kidding, of course. It also strikes me as a strange cut-off.

Jen4948 · June 2017

Subwayloves said:

CMGragain said:

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

I am going to a reception for a wedding this weekend (they got married 4 weeks ago in Las Vegas with 14 witnesses and reception locally) where the invitation says "(brides living mother & stepfather) invite you to the wedding of their daughter (wife name) to (husband name) son of (groom's deceased parents)...so on" Is this so different?

Just because you see someone do it, does not make it proper etiquette.

The invitation is a formal note from the HOSTS to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where. It is not the place to list family members, and it is not traditional for anyone who is not hosting to appear on the invitation, except for the bridal couple, of course. Children under the age of 21 and deceased persons cannot host an event, and their names should not appear on the invitation. It is OK for their names to be on the program, however.

Receptions are for the guests who attend the ceremony to thank them for coming. If this is a true wedding reception, then it is not good etiquette to have it on a different day than the ceremony. On the other hand, if it is simply a party to celebrate the marriage, then OK.

I hope this explains things. Remember, you are not planning a wedding; you are planning a vow renewal. The rules are a bit different than for a wedding.

Off topic: Why the random age of 21? I hosted multiple parties (birthdays for H, anniversary for my parents) when I was under 21. I completely understand that CHILDREN cannot host a party, but someone who is 18-20 years old is not a child, and certainly at this age or maybe even a bit younger can host a party.

I think that @CMGragain meant only that the hosts need to be adults who can take legal responsibility for anything that goes wrong.

kwiksilver · June 2017

I think she meant whatever the "legal age" is where you live. Here it's 18, so I assume it would be acceptable for anyone 18 and older to host a party.

CMGragain · June 2017

I want to chime in and say that that dress is fine for your party/vow renewal! I would not wear the veil and flower crown again, though.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2017

Kimora_Blax said:

A one year renewal isn't weird. It's just a party.

It *is* weird, because vow renewals aren't *just* parties, they're a very specific celebration typically reserved for milestone anniversaries. . .25 years, 50 years, etc.

If they want to have a party then they should just have an anniversary party.

I'm sorry for the loss of your soon, OP.

knottied6acac2d1b10530c · June 2017

CMGragain said:
I want to chime in and say that that dress is fine for your party/vow renewal! I would not wear the veil and flower crown again, though.

I was 20 weeks pregnant in that. I want sleek & sexy!

CMGragain · June 2017

knottied6acac2d1b10530c said:

CMGragain said:
I want to chime in and say that that dress is fine for your party/vow renewal! I would not wear the veil and flower crown again, though.
I was 20 weeks pregnant in that. I want sleek & sexy!

Ha! I haven't been able to do "sleek and sexy" since the birth of my first 10 lb. child! You rock it, girl!

JediElizabeth · June 2017

scribe95 said:

OP's circumstances are horrible. Everyone can agree. But aside from that this seems just like any other PPD we hear about on here.

I disagree. If nothing else, this is different because OP and her FI are being completely honest with their guests and have been for a year, and, to a lesser extent, it's something that they family wants. Whether OP decides to have a vow renewal or just a big party, I think it's likely something that will help the whole family to heal.

Renewal at 1 year.

Re: Renewal at 1 year.

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