Opinion on RSVP Wording

PreviteGirl · June 2017

Hi everyone,

So I got my RSVPs in the mail yesterday and this is how they look. It came to my attention that people who are bringing a guest may only put the number 1 on the “number of guests attending” line. Because maybe they view it as their own name is accounted for on the M line and they’re bringing one other person. My stomach sunk when I realized this. I personally would know to put the TOTAL amount of 2, but some people might not. This could completely throw off my guest count. Do I need to worry or do people know better? Thanks

charlotte989875 · June 2017

I think you're fine. When I get invites addressed like this I'll write in mine and H's names and write in 2. Most people will figure it out and if there's confusion you can call them up.

One tip is to number the backs of the RSVP cards and keep a spreadsheet of names & numbers. So if someone forgets to write in their names you'll know whose card it is because you'll have the number on the back.

southernbelle0915 · June 2017

You're overthinking it. This is a standard RSVP.

How many "and guests" did you have? I mean, "and guest" is only for truly single guests - not people in relationships (where you would have addressed the person by name). In other words, this shouldn't be that big of a problem unless you're having a huge wedding with tons of actual single people.

PreviteGirl · June 2017

Southernbelle0915 - I counted 23 people who will have "and guest" written on the envelope. That means there are 65 envelopes where I will have actual names. That's good it's the majority, but I guess I'm gonna have to confirm with the 23. Problem is I wouldn't know there was confusion. As they could write the wrong number, thinking they're doing it right. Unfortunately I've asked other forums and some said lots of people were confused by this wording. Crazy....

southernbelle0915 · June 2017

Are those actual "and guest" scenarios? In other words, are those people truly single where you don't know the name of the guest they'll be bringing? That's almost a third of your guest list. It seems rather high.

If anyone is in a relationship or dating, you should write out the name of their bf/gf on the envelope ("and guest" is not appropriate in those situations). Perhaps this will lessen the number of true "and guest" invites?

PreviteGirl · June 2017

Yes, they are "and guest" scenarios. Mostly cuz a lot of my fiancé's friends are single. And for some of the people I know, I do not know the latest update on their dating lives. Some are even in "on again off again" relationships.

[Deleted User] · June 2017

PreviteGirl said:

Yes, they are "and guest" scenarios. Mostly cuz a lot of my fiancé's friends are single. And for some of the people I know, I do not know the latest update on their dating lives. Some are even in "on again off again" relationships.

Call up all your "and guest" folks and ask them if they have a significant other because you want to add them to the invitation. If it's "off again", they'll tell you they don't have a significant other. It it's "on again", they'll give you a name. I think it's a small but important step you should take with your single friends. What if one of them is newly dating someone who ends up marrying your friend two years down the road? Your wedding will be remembered as the time they were first acknowledged as being "a couple" by the group of friends. It could be a big happy deal.

SP29 · June 2017

Your RSVP card is pretty standard, I wouldn't expect any confusion.

I would always assume to write both names in, including the name of my guest and the total number. The only confusion you might get is the invited guest writing in their name and then 2 at the bottom- in which case, if you are doing place or escort cards, you need to find out the name of the guest.

ahoywedding · June 2017

I think it should be fine. We had the name line and a place for us to put "we have reserved ___ seats in your honor" or something like that and we still had a few we had to follow up on. That's not a huge deal, just a simple email or text "Hey (friend), we're so excited you're coming! Just wanted to make sure we have the correct name for your guest" or something along those lines. I would say most people pretty much know what to do but there's always a few.

southernbelle0915 · June 2017

adk19 said:

PreviteGirl said:

Yes, they are "and guest" scenarios. Mostly cuz a lot of my fiancé's friends are single. And for some of the people I know, I do not know the latest update on their dating lives. Some are even in "on again off again" relationships.

Call up all your "and guest" folks and ask them if they have a significant other because you want to add them to the invitation. If it's "off again", they'll tell you they don't have a significant other. It it's "on again", they'll give you a name. I think it's a small but important step you should take with your single friends. What if one of them is newly dating someone who ends up marrying your friend two years down the road? Your wedding will be remembered as the time they were first acknowledged as being "a couple" by the group of friends. It could be a big happy deal.

This. And taking this approach will quell the issue you're posting about.

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