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Pregnant Bridesmaid Due 2 weeks before wedding

ksway711ksway711 member
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edited September 2017 in Wedding Party
Hi ladies!  

I find myself in a unique situation.  My FSIL #1 (married to FI's brother) found out she is pregnant and due a few weeks before my wedding.  She's one of my BMs and I knew she was trying to have a baby, so this didn't come at all of a surprise to me (I actually inquired about more flowy dresses when BM dress shopping with her in mind).  Her and I have already discussed her still being a part of the wedding party, and I told her it's completely up to her whether or not she feels up to it with a 1-3 week old.  She still wants to be involved, and I still want her in the bridal party. We can alter things the day of as needed to fit her and the baby's needs.  No problem right?

Enter FMIL and FSIL #2 (FI's older sister).  They are both telling her (and me) that FSIL #1 should back out and that it will be too hard for her to be a BM with a newborn.  Ultimately it's up to her, and I get that, but they don't seem to. 


So I guess my question is, has anyone been a BM/had a BM in their wedding with a newborn?  Would it be more stressful/difficult for her on our wedding day?  I don't really see it being inconvenient for her anytime other than during pictures maybe?  But I'm sure we can find plenty of people to help with the baby during that time. There's ways to make it work if she still wants to be involved, IMO.

Sidenote: her husband/my FBIL is our best man, so he is also in the bridal party, which I think is why they're telling her she needs to step down.  Still doesn't seem like anything we can't figure out though if she's up for it.

Thanks in advance! :) 
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Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid Due 2 weeks before wedding

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited September 2017
    One of my daughter's bridesmaids had a newborn, and she was nursing.  A few adjustments needed to be made to the neckline of the dress, but that was all.  The baby was fine.  Her husband took care of it during the ceremony.

    YOU get to decide who will be in your wedding party.  Nobody else.  Unless the lady has mentioned being uncomfortable about it, you should assume everything is fine.  Tell your friend to ignore your future in-laws.  They are out of line!

    PS.  The baby was adorable, and they are still close friends!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • ksway711ksway711 member
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    Unfortunately it's her in laws too. So they're harder for her to ignore haha But I completely agree. I'm just trying to see what adjustments we will have to make to accommodate her and the new baby.
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  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
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    STARMOON44 said:
    I mean I think it sounds completely insane tbh. Like, going anywhere with a one week old. Most doctors suggest not taking your newborn out in large groups of people. She'll be exhausted. I'd just say "I fully understand she may not be able to come. But she might want to. I love her and I want her to do whatever works for her and this is what she wants to go now. If she changes her mind later that's totally fine."
    Meh, my doctor never recommended this as life had to go on. 

    OP, just keep telling your BM that you support any decision she makes. You may want to gift her with a ring sling or wrap carrier that she can use at the reception to keep the baby close and comfy. It will also be a sanity saver in the first few months and will keep hands off the baby.
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  • ksway711ksway711 member
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    banana468 said:
    STARMOON44 said:
    I mean I think it sounds completely insane tbh. Like, going anywhere with a one week old. Most doctors suggest not taking your newborn out in large groups of people. She'll be exhausted. I'd just say "I fully understand she may not be able to come. But she might want to. I love her and I want her to do whatever works for her and this is what she wants to go now. If she changes her mind later that's totally fine."
    Our docs never really said "No crowds" but they did tell us to have anyone who held our kids to thoroughly wash hands prior to doing so.   

    I think it's a big IF that she may make it.   But just say that you understand that the baby comes first and you'll let the new mom make the call. 

    On the wedding day if she's there she'll probably be exhausted and in pain.  Anything you can do to help ensure that she has a place to sit, a place to nurse (if she's doing that) quietly and extra space at her table for the car seat would be helpful.   She may not want other people holding the baby and at that age, please accept that. 
    I guess I should have clarified, she is not a new mom. She has a 2 year old already, who is a FG no less (we have a full family affair going). So I think barring major unforeseen circumstances (heaven forbid there are complications), she will be there.  Whether or not she decides to be in the wedding, like I said, is completely up to her.  She had been the one that mentioned having other people help out though.  So again, I will do whatever I can to accommodate her.

    But you all have brought up some great points! As someone who doesn't yet have kids, I wasn't sure what to expect.  The sling idea is definitely a great one! 
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  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
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    So first of all, props to you for being so chill about this and wanting your FSIL's comfort to be priority!

    I was in a wedding years ago and one of the BMs had recently had triplets (!!!). She did still stand up, but her mom was also invited and I think there was one other person helping hold her babies during the ceremony. It was a full length Catholic mass, so she did duck out a few times to attend to the babies, but it wasn't disruptive at all. Then during the reception, no one noticed when she was stepping out. 

    I don't think it would be a huge issue, as long as there's someone besides your FSIL's parents (aunt/uncle, cousin, grandmother, close friend maybe?) to hold the baby during pictures, and during the ceremony. Your venue might even be able to help with logistics, like where to seat that person during the ceremony so they could duck out with the baby if needed. 

    Keep on ignoring the people who tell you to ask her to step down, let her make the choice that's most comfortable for her on the day of (or the days leading up to the wedding), and keep on being so level headed! She'll appreciate that long after your wedding, and you're setting you guys up for a good relationship.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    ksway711 said:
    Hi ladies!  

    I find myself in a unique situation.  My FSIL #1 (married to FI's brother) found out she is pregnant and due a few weeks before my wedding.  She's one of my BMs and I knew she was trying to have a baby, so this didn't come at all of a surprise to me (I actually inquired about more flowy dresses when BM dress shopping with her in mind).  Her and I have already discussed her still being a part of the wedding party, and I told her it's completely up to her whether or not she feels up to it with a 1-3 week old.  She still wants to be involved, and I still want her in the bridal party. We can alter things the day of as needed to fit her and the baby's needs.  No problem right?

    Enter FMIL and FSIL #2 (FI's older sister).  They are both telling her (and me) that FSIL #1 should back out and that it will be too hard for her to be a BM with a newborn.  Ultimately it's up to her, and I get that, but they don't seem to. 


    So I guess my question is, has anyone been a BM/had a BM in their wedding with a newborn?  Would it be more stressful/difficult for her on our wedding day?  I don't really see it being inconvenient for her anytime other than during pictures maybe?  But I'm sure we can find plenty of people to help with the baby during that time. There's ways to make it work if she still wants to be involved, IMO.

    Sidenote: her husband/my FBIL is our best man, so he is also in the bridal party, which I think is why they're telling her she needs to step down.  Still doesn't seem like anything we can't figure out though if she's up for it.

    Thanks in advance! :) 
    I was in my SILs wedding and her MOH had a newborn. She hung out in baby wearing wraps when we got ready, the father came and took the baby back to the room to nap/do baby things, and it really was no big deal. Dad cared for the baby all day, the MOH left to pump and feed as needed, the ceremony was short and the baby slept most of the time. 

    Just reiterate to FSIL that you love her and want her to do what's best for her and the baby and you're happy with whatever she chooses. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    ksway711 said:
    banana468 said:
    STARMOON44 said:
    I mean I think it sounds completely insane tbh. Like, going anywhere with a one week old. Most doctors suggest not taking your newborn out in large groups of people. She'll be exhausted. I'd just say "I fully understand she may not be able to come. But she might want to. I love her and I want her to do whatever works for her and this is what she wants to go now. If she changes her mind later that's totally fine."
    Our docs never really said "No crowds" but they did tell us to have anyone who held our kids to thoroughly wash hands prior to doing so.   

    I think it's a big IF that she may make it.   But just say that you understand that the baby comes first and you'll let the new mom make the call. 

    On the wedding day if she's there she'll probably be exhausted and in pain.  Anything you can do to help ensure that she has a place to sit, a place to nurse (if she's doing that) quietly and extra space at her table for the car seat would be helpful.   She may not want other people holding the baby and at that age, please accept that. 
    I guess I should have clarified, she is not a new mom. She has a 2 year old already, who is a FG no less (we have a full family affair going). So I think barring major unforeseen circumstances (heaven forbid there are complications), she will be there.  Whether or not she decides to be in the wedding, like I said, is completely up to her.  She had been the one that mentioned having other people help out though.  So again, I will do whatever I can to accommodate her.

    But you all have brought up some great points! As someone who doesn't yet have kids, I wasn't sure what to expect.  The sling idea is definitely a great one! 
    Keep in mind that every birth is different.

    At this point, I'd offer to help with the 2 yo.  Talk to mom but at that point anything that could be done to help me just deal with baby plus myself was helpful.  If you have a toddler as a flower girl, see what you can do so that the FG feels comfortable with people other than her parents if that is possible.

    And you didn't mention it but at that age, don't try to dress up the baby in anything other than something soft and cotton.  
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    @southernbelle0915 summed up exactly how I felt with #1.

    With baby #2, I honestly felt like I could do a ton right after delivery.    I just felt better and had a clue that time. 

    However, EVERY BABY AND EVERY BIRTH IS DIFFERENT.  So please don't think that just because she's had one means that the recovery is faster, things are easier, etc.    And expect the baby to be pretty much attached to her non stop.   
    DS was pretty easy but at the 1-2 week mark he nursed nearly every 1.5 hours and for 20 minutes per side.   There wasn't a lot of time to come up for air.
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  • redwoodoriginalredwoodoriginal member
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    southernbelle0915 said:
    ksway711 said:
    Hi ladies!  

    I find myself in a unique situation.  My FSIL #1 (married to FI's brother) found out she is pregnant and due a few weeks before my wedding.  She's one of my BMs and I knew she was trying to have a baby, so this didn't come at all of a surprise to me (I actually inquired about more flowy dresses when BM dress shopping with her in mind).  Her and I have already discussed her still being a part of the wedding party, and I told her it's completely up to her whether or not she feels up to it with a 1-3 week old.  She still wants to be involved, and I still want her in the bridal party. We can alter things the day of as needed to fit her and the baby's needs.  No problem right?

    Enter FMIL and FSIL #2 (FI's older sister).  They are both telling her (and me) that FSIL #1 should back out and that it will be too hard for her to be a BM with a newborn.  Ultimately it's up to her, and I get that, but they don't seem to. 


    So I guess my question is, has anyone been a BM/had a BM in their wedding with a newborn?  Would it be more stressful/difficult for her on our wedding day?  I don't really see it being inconvenient for her anytime other than during pictures maybe?  But I'm sure we can find plenty of people to help with the baby during that time. There's ways to make it work if she still wants to be involved, IMO.

    Sidenote: her husband/my FBIL is our best man, so he is also in the bridal party, which I think is why they're telling her she needs to step down.  Still doesn't seem like anything we can't figure out though if she's up for it.

    Thanks in advance! :) 
    The bolded has me literally rolling. :D You don't see it being inconvenient for her any time other than pictures? Oh honey. I'm going to take a wild guess that you've never had a baby. It sounds like your idea of post-delivery is what you see in STAR magazine and US Weekly. 

    For me, the first two weeks after delivery involved barely being able to walk (at least week 1, limping by week 2), sleep deprived, still looking 6 months pregnant, bleeding constantly and taking 10 minutes every time I went to the bathroom to clean the exit wound, not knowing what day it was, nipples bleeding and ripped to shreds, hair only looking mildly clean due to dry shampoo, sleep deprived and cranky, milk leaking all over my clothes, and did I mention sleep deprived? Week 3 and 4 were only slightly better. 

    Seriously, do not expect her to even come, let alone stand up. If she makes it to your ceremony, consider it a win. If she comes to the reception, even for an hour, she probably had an easy delivery and a unicorn baby. Tell her that you're going to PLAN on her not being in the wedding and that if she wants to show up and stand up, great. But if not, to take care of herself. Lord knows she's going to need it.
    QFT. I'm in week 2 of newborn life and if someone tried to get me to dress up and participate in a wedding, I'd laugh in their faces and throw my water bottle at their head. Maybe with a second it would be easier but honestly just walking around is exhausting. I have to go get some meds at the pharmacy today and the idea is exhausting. baby won't fall asleep unless I'm holding so I can't leave him w my parents while I run (waddle) out and I'm on my last norco and i haven't napped today yet. But I did shower!

    So just..... ignore your ILs but tell your SIL she can make a decision the day of - and don't make her buy a dress, let her wear something she owns in case she does show up, cuz spending the money on a dress she probably won't wear would suck. 
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    From my experience..  

    OP - your situation isn't unique...  It does however require a level of understanding on your part.  First, when it comes to BM dresses, I HIGHLY recommend choosing simply a color and length that is relatively easy to find because she's going to likely need to shop for it just before or after she delivers, so someplace she can go off the rack is preferred.  Two to three weeks post partum the belly is still tender and in the unlikely event of a c-section there's early healing, the pelvis is still healing back into position so be kind, cushioned seats, and know she may still look about 6-9months pregnant, though that's still in the "Amazing knockers" stage (I kid, but her bust is going to be a different size than normal and this can vary within the day at that point), so nothing that is going to be tight around the tummy.  My first day home discharged from the hospital with DS I had to walk 3/4 of a mile each way to get to the cafeteria where DS was in the PICU and women from other countries blah-blah-blah...  With DD I wasn't even waddling/driving until about a month PP because I was that knocked down, with DS I was driving within the week because the healing was much easier (I was in better physical shape pre-baby).  Keep your expectations in check because healing from each pregnancy is unique and different.  Don't treat her like she's an invalid but be understanding she's still going to be healing which means different things for each person, she may be back to yoga the day she's discharged, it'll be a "game-day decision" in a sense.  As another pointed out, if she shows up even a hot mess consider it a "win" that she's present.  And, let HER make the decision FOR HER and order the BM bouquet for her anyway even if she hangs out in the "Cry room" the whole time in her flannel PJ's!  

    When it comes to the little one.  This is 100% dependent upon LO's health and personality.  We had DS out for "Christmas Rounds" after having spent his first week in the PICU (he was born the week before Christmas).  Obviously, she's going to want to avoid people who have less than stellar hygiene practices/wiping their snot with their hands and not washing them/sick-coughs, but the baby can be out and about at that age without an issue, HOWEVER, your FSIL makes that call, no one else!  Plan if your FSIL is Breastfeeding that she has a comfortable (seat cushions/pillows are her friend!) place to go that is private and that she's going to be called away frequently even if she bottle feeds.  Realize baby doesn't know your schedule, she may miss walking down the aisle.  It happens.  I had an angel baby (one who slept through the night and napped for hours), and one colicy baby that I didn't sleep for two years and only with him in my arms because he wouldn't sleep any other way, babies are a spectrum.  Remember, if people are oogling over the new baby, it's not stealing your thunder.  Above all else, the best thing you can do is be flexible because this will not be in her or FBIL's control and they'll still be in the "trip on their toenail" phase of life with a little one.  
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  • kwiksilverkwiksilver member
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    I went tubing on a lake behind a speedboat 2 weeks after my son was born (first baby). My mom was horrified but I felt fantastic!  I had 50 hours of labour and went to 2 hospitals so it wasn't an easy birth. Every woman is different so yeah, PP's already gave good advice (let the mother lead on what she's up for).  I recovered quickly with both kids, so it's possible she really will be just fine. 
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  • nicgetsknottednicgetsknotted member
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    ksway711 said:
    Hi ladies!  

    I find myself in a unique situation.  My FSIL #1 (married to FI's brother) found out she is pregnant and due a few weeks before my wedding.  She's one of my BMs and I knew she was trying to have a baby, so this didn't come at all of a surprise to me (I actually inquired about more flowy dresses when BM dress shopping with her in mind).  Her and I have already discussed her still being a part of the wedding party, and I told her it's completely up to her whether or not she feels up to it with a 1-3 week old.  She still wants to be involved, and I still want her in the bridal party. We can alter things the day of as needed to fit her and the baby's needs.  No problem right?

    Enter FMIL and FSIL #2 (FI's older sister).  They are both telling her (and me) that FSIL #1 should back out and that it will be too hard for her to be a BM with a newborn.  Ultimately it's up to her, and I get that, but they don't seem to. 


    So I guess my question is, has anyone been a BM/had a BM in their wedding with a newborn?  Would it be more stressful/difficult for her on our wedding day?  I don't really see it being inconvenient for her anytime other than during pictures maybe?  But I'm sure we can find plenty of people to help with the baby during that time. There's ways to make it work if she still wants to be involved, IMO.

    Sidenote: her husband/my FBIL is our best man, so he is also in the bridal party, which I think is why they're telling her she needs to step down.  Still doesn't seem like anything we can't figure out though if she's up for it.

    Thanks in advance! :) 
    The other ladies already gave some good advice, and it sounds like you are very sensitive to the situation and the many possibilities.

    The only thing that I don't think has been mentioned is that you said both Mom and Dad will be in the wedding party. Maybe the ILs who are pressuring her to drop out feel they would be the ones responsible for the baby for most of the day since both will be busy with wedding stuff. Would there be a way to let her have someone else there to help? Maybe her own mother could attend the wedding? Having two people in the wedding party, a toddler you have to get dressed and down the aisle and a newborn sounds like a lot going on for one family. If you could open it up to an extra pair of hands it would probably help - and shut up the inlaws.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    I'll echo PP's that you're on the right track to just let her decide what is best for her, when she's ready to make the decision. She can't predict the future any more than anyone else, so she'll figure out what's right for her once the baby is born. I would add that, if you have space, it would be nice to offer to add an extra guest for her. I read that she is your husband's SIL, so her husband and your husband are brothers, meaning that the MOG/FOG are also her ILs, right? So maybe she has a close family member or friend that she would like to have help with the baby during the ceremony and photos, so she doesn't have to rely on the groom's family, since her husband is in the same boat she is.

    As for the FMIL and FSIL saying she should step down, it's time to smack that down. Whether she stands up is not up to them, and they need to mind their own business. I would probably go with the more gentle, "FSIL and I have discussed that and have it under control. I'll let you know if we need your help. [Insert bean dip]." But I'd be tempted to say "Oh, I didn't realize this was any of your business." 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited September 2017
    kwiksilver said:
    I went tubing on a lake behind a speedboat 2 weeks after my son was born (first baby). My mom was horrified but I felt fantastic!  I had 50 hours of labour and went to 2 hospitals so it wasn't an easy birth. Every woman is different so yeah, PP's already gave good advice (let the mother lead on what she's up for).  I recovered quickly with both kids, so it's possible she really will be just fine. 
    You obviously didn't have an emergency Caesarean birth experience. :/
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited September 2017
    I remember a VERY young mother-to-be in our Lamaze class.  (Do they still do those?)  She was wearing her regular skinny jeans, unzipped at 9 months.  The rest of us 30 somethings wanted to kill her - until we found out she had NO medical insurance and was counting on a cheap, natural delivery.  Hope she made it!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • kwiksilverkwiksilver member
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    CMGragain said:
    I remember a VERY young mother-to-be in our Lamaze class.  (Do they still do those?)  She was wearing her regular skinny jeans, unzipped at 9 months.  The rest of us 30 somethings wanted to kill her - until we found out she had NO medical insurance and was counting on a cheap, natural delivery.  Hope she made it!
    They do still have them!  They just call them pre-natal classes now :smile:

    I'm so glad I live in Canada when I hear stories like that.  I hope she made it as well. 
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  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
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    kwiksilver said:
    CMGragain said:
    kwiksilver said:
    I went tubing on a lake behind a speedboat 2 weeks after my son was born (first baby). My mom was horrified but I felt fantastic!  I had 50 hours of labour and went to 2 hospitals so it wasn't an easy birth. Every woman is different so yeah, PP's already gave good advice (let the mother lead on what she's up for).  I recovered quickly with both kids, so it's possible she really will be just fine. 
    You obviously didn't have an emergency Caesarean birth experience. :/
    No, it was close but I was finally able to deliver him vaginally. Obviously if I had a caesarean I would have been less inclined to be pulled behind a boat on a tube. 

    Edited to add:  I was also young. 19 years old, so I am sure my ability to bounce back quickly has something to do with that.
    I was 35 when I had my son and was bouncing around town with him 3 days after he was born and that was with an unmedicated birth. Everyone's different, and everyone has different thresholds for what they can handle. Communicate with your BM and try and be flexible.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
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    edited September 2017
    And I'm going to give an entirely different experience than @southernbelle0915 and @redwoodoriginal. 

    I have an almost three-month old. I went out regularly starting 3 days postpartum. On the days I didn't get out, I would be weepy with "baby blues." I had to get out. I feel like it's a waste of makeup to put it on if I'm home all day, so I wanted and needed a reason to dress nicely and shower and put on makeup and go out and feel normal. I had this desperate need to feel normal. 

    I had a second-degree tear, and I was thisclose to going to church at four days postpartum. We would have gone if church had been on day three, but the morning of day four, my crotch started hurting to where I couldn't sit. Of all things, I felt fine to go places and stand and walk, but not to sit for half an hour. 

    I went on a 12-mile hike at 2.5 weeks postpartum.

    I did have a horrific time breastfeeding. It's only just now this past week starting to get better where it's not extremely painful. Still, I did it and continue to do it. 

    I definitely could have been a bridesmaid with a week-old infant. 

    A friend of mine had a quite difficult birth, and she still took a four-hour drive to and attended (although not as a bridesmaid), her friend's wedding at two weeks postpartum. 

    All that to say, you never know what her birth will be like. If she's able to come, don't expect her to get ready with you or do lots of things other than stand up and take photos (you shouldn't anyway, but especially with an infant). 

    ETA: my midwives never said anything about not going out with her. For me, being forced to stay home would have been a recipe for postpartum depression. I'll take the slight risk of a baby catching a cold over a mother with postpartum depression any day of the week. Sorry, not sorry. (By the way, my daughter never got sick. Still hasn't except for a slight stuffy nose yesterday. I, on the other hand, currently have a cold. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
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  • flantasticflantastic member
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    I would have been up for being a bridesmaid with my own physical recovery, but the sleep deprivation would have been what got me, as well as DD nursing basically every hour.

    And there's no way I could have predicted any of that. I can't say with this next baby that it'll be the same just because I already have a kid. Just be flexible - literally anything could happen. She'll know best, but may not have the clearest picture until right before the wedding. You seem like a good friend who is willing to do that. Good luck!
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  • jh715jh715 member
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    I think you've got the right idea in letting her decide, and it sounds like you're being sensitive to her needs.  Just reassure her that it's entirely up to her, that you'd love for her to be there, but you totally understand if she can't for ANY reason - cause seriously a 1-3 week old baby is enough of a reason, and she doesn't need to provide details beyond that if she's not up to it.

    I read the anecdotes provided about the rough recoveries by pp, but my story was different so I'll share it.  I was in prodromal labour for a week, then had my water broke and labored for another 24 hours.  We got to 10 cm, and my baby was in distress so they took her by emergency C-section.  I was up and walking the hospital that night, and when she came home from the NICU 5 days later we took her to church right away, and I took her out to visit at my work within the first two weeks.  By 3 weeks I was back to pre-preg weight and certainly didn't look like I was 6 months pregnant.  So, regardless of what anyone might expect, there's no way of knowing what her recovery will be like and what she'll be up to.

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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
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    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    lovesclimbing said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    MobKaz said:
    lovesclimbing said:
    MobKaz said:
    CMGragain said:
    I just want to say that I think it is wonderful how child birthing has progressed and changed over the years.  My daughter's experiences were really good (OK, not exactly FUN).  I have been very careful not to give her "old mother" advice, and she has done a great job with my grandsons.  Yay for the new generation of health care givers!
    I will say I did enjoy the "leisurely" 3 day stay we got "back in the day".  It helped tremendously in terms of feeling a bit more prepared, and allowed for extra learning time in regards to nursing.

    I am also glad I was not inundated with the current MULTITUDE of blogs, opinions, and google options that permeate every area of life.  The last thing I needed as a first time parent was a web page that made everything look either picture perfect or scary as all get out!  I also could not text/call friends and family infinitum since back them any and every call cost money.  I learned to trust my instincts and figure things out.


    Different strokes! Personally, I liked that I was able to go home quickly - only required to stay three hours post birth and we went home at about 3.5. This was at a birth center. I believe hospitals require 24 for a vaginal birth although sometimes you can get around it, from what I've heard. 

    Although, I think I would like the absence of mommy blogs! 
    That just seems reckless from a medical POV.  There are many childbirth issues that do not manifest immediately and could put the birth mom in some dire situations.  How could a new parent even begin to receive post partum care, newborn care, nursing assistance, etc. 
    there's so much needless judgment around mothering- perhaps don't tell someone her choices around childbirth that she made in consultation with her healthcare providers were reckless. 
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