Sorry for the bummer post, but if anyone knows the etiquette in this situation it's definitely you guys…
My best friend's grandpa passed away on Friday, and his funeral is this week. In his obituary there is the standard 'in lieu of flowers, please donate on his behalf to such and such charity'.
I know donations are usually very personal and private, but in this case do you usually let the family know about it, where it was in honor of their loved one? Does it help them to know that people cared enough to donate in his honor, or is it tacky to say anything?
This is my first adult funeral. Thank you for the help.