I'm not sure if there's anything we can do, but throwing it out there just in case.
I have a friend who's been unemployed for about a year and a half. She's exhausted any unemployment benefits obviously, and gets a small amount of food stamps. She hasn't been trying super hard to find work, and refuses to look at retail, restaurant, etc. The city she lives in is pretty service-industry oriented (smallish beach town). Her uncle had given her some money to take an EMT course, but she is still finishing that and said there aren't many jobs where she lives. Otherwise her family isn't real supportive. Well she texted me today that now she's homeless. She had been living in a condo and renting from the owners, but they plan to retire soon and want their beach home back so they gave her a two month notice to find a new place.
I feel so bad for her, but I'm not sure what we can do to help. She wants to get into healthcare and I work in that field so I suggested getting her CNA certification, as there's a good size hospital in town that's always hiring. She said she feels no need to get that, and that's not what she wants to do. In my head I'm like but.... It's a JOB. We live about 2.5 hours away. I work from home, so her staying with us isn't really any option. Any thoughts?
Re: Can I help this friend?
Does she have any kind of degree or certification already, aside from the EMT thing? What about phlebotomist training, if CNA doesn't appeal?
I feel for your friend. It's so hard to be in such a tough place. But, at the same time, the harsh truth is that she needs to get off her high horse and get her head out of the sand.
There are limited employment opps in the beach town she has chosen to stay in. She needs to take what she can get and stop waiting for some unicorn opportunity. Waiting tables is not glamorous. I've done it. But it can pay decent money. The writing has been on the wall for awhile. Personally, I can't begin to understand why she didn't take something, ANYTHING. It's not forever. It's to get by, until she is done with her schooling and then finds a job in that field.
About 6 years ago, I lost my job at the height of the UE crisis. I usually didn't have trouble finding a new opportunity, but I sure did then. There were few jobs to even send my resume to. And I live in a medium sized city. It was over a year until I found another f/t job.
In the meantime...
Did I want to take a temp gig passing out olive samples at Sam's Club for half the money (per hour) I previously made? No. No I did not, lol. Did I want to take a very p/t job making a third less (per hour) than what I previously did and was over a 30 minute drive away. No. No I did not again.
But I hustled to make whatever bits of extra money I could find. Because that is what I needed to do to survive until life got financially better.
The problem is, you can be her cheerleader and give her all of the pep talk of "just find something for now, it's not forever", but she needs to make that decision and see that for herself. She might be suffering from depression, which can be its own vicious circle. As in, she doesn't bother trying to do something different because she feels hopeless.
It's hard to see someone you care about in desperate straits. But don't take that guilt onto yourself or feel responsible for "saving her".
i know things like depression can contribute to cases like, this, but at the same time, you can't force this woman to get help.
What kind of job Job did she have before losing it? My guess is she is the kind of person who things always work out for even when they shouldn’t and she just assumes someone else will swoop in and save her bc that is what always happens. Don’t be that person.
Servers at the right restaurants make $500 in tips on a Friday or Saturday night. Trader Joe’s pays $18/hr. Etc. Just things I’d remind her of if she feels above retail and food service.
CNA, a home health aide, a phlebotomist, a medical biller...all good health care jobs that don’t require too much training. Is she open to moving somewhere where there are better EMT employment opportunities?
This is obviously without knowing her, but it sounds like she doesn't truly understand the impact of what true homelessness is and is waiting for someone to save her, give her money/a place to live/pay her way. Unless you're actually willing to do that (it doesn't sound like you are) this may just be a time when she has figure it out on her own.
PS. My daughter still has nightmares about being a server at a Bob Evan's Restaurant. It really helped her get through college, and she graduated with top honors!
It may not be what she wants, but at a certain point...what you do for work doesn't fucking matter. Being able to keep a roof over your head without begging friends or family to take you in and/or provide other means of support does matter.
She may have to move from her small beach town to live her EMT dream or suck it up and go into the tourist industry if she wants to stay. Her family may be on to something in telling her to stand on her own.