Getting ready attire for men and women

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

Hi all,

I’m getting married this summer and would love some advice on getting ready attire. I have adult bridesmaids, a junior bridesmaid, and a "bridesman". Does anyone have any suggestions that could suit all of these people?

Thanks!

ShesSoCold · March 2018

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea said:

Hi all,

I’m getting married this summer and would love some advice on getting ready attire. I have 6 adult bridesmaids, a junior bridesmaid, and a man of honor. The junior bridesmaid could fit into XXS or XS attire so she’s less of a concern. My male friend said he’d be okay with anything but I want something that’s comfortable for all. Does anyone have any suggestions that could suit all of these people?

Thanks!

Why can't they wear their own clothes that they're comfortable in?

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

I was hoping to find something that matches. Brides typically go with robes, pajamas, button downs, etc.

banana468 · March 2018

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea said:

I was hoping to find something that matches. Brides typically go with robes, pajamas, button downs, etc.

That's not all that common. It's just what you see photographed.

Honestly - I'd save your money and just tell your WP to show up in what makes them comfortable. Those who will have their hair done will need to wear a top that can be removed without touching the head so a button down or hoodie will work. If you feel like springing for that then you can certainly offer to pick up the tab for something like white button downs for all but in all honesty - save your money for the getting ready food.

I would absolutely NOT go with robes.

ShesSoCold · March 2018

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea said:

I was hoping to find something that matches. Brides typically go with robes, pajamas, button downs, etc.

Okay, so serious question here. Do you honestly see yourself blowing up and hanging a picture of all of these people in some matching (usually cheap and tacky) pajamas or whatever in your living room for the next ten years?

I think these "getting ready" photos are a weird trend that needs to end. They're usually super posed but try to look casual and candid and everyone always looks uncomfortable. I prefer pictures of/with my friends to look like THEM, not staged models.

And me, for example, I would be very uncomfortable and self-conscious being photographed in a robe, I don't like button down shirts and don't even own any other than the nice one I wear with my suit. I don't know what kind of pajamas you can get that would be suitable for men, women and children, other than those giant onesies. But those giant onesies would definitely fit the tacky bill that these pictures always seen to have.

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I was looking for something that matches for "getting ready" photos once everyone has their hair/makeup done. I was planning on picking up the tab for it. Can I ask why you don't recommend robes? @banana468

banana468 · March 2018

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea said:

Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I was looking for something that matches for "getting ready" photos once everyone has their hair/makeup done. I was planning on picking up the tab for it. Can I ask why you don't recommend robes? @banana468

Well, for starters, they're an undergarment. Those featured in photos are often really cheap and open quickly. That means that anyone wearing a robe is either potentially uncomfortable worrying about exposing themselves or they have to treat the robe like some kind of smock that they wear on top of something like a cami and pants. I am not a fan. As a mom, if my daughter was a junior bridesmaid she would get a no-go for wearing a robe and being in photos.

You don't need to have matching attire for getting ready photos. I promise you that they'll look great even if your BMs are dressed in their normal attire.

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

Thanks @ShesSoCold

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

True - thank you! Was just curious what your experience had been. Is there anything you do recommend? @banana468

artbyallie · March 2018

This isn't what you want to hear, but save your money and skip 'getting ready attire' and photos of people who are in the middle of getting ready to have their photo taken a billion more times.

Think about this logically. Are you really, really going to purchase and frame prints of getting ready pictures? Aren't you much more likely to actually use the pictures taken after everyone's dressed? What exactly would be the point of spending money and time getting pictures you're not going to put on your wall and in all likelihood will not even look at ever again?

ShesSoCold · March 2018

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea said:

Thanks @ShesSoCold

I know you don't like what I said but 5 years from now when the OMG WEDDINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG brain is over, you won't even remember doing these or not.

And FWIW, my friend did my hair and make up at her house. Her mom took a ton of pictures and gave me the disk. I've literally never even looked at them.

thisismynickname2 · March 2018

OP, on this forum, I guarantee you not one person is going to offer suggestions of matching getting ready attire. There are a few threads you can check out on this board and the moms/maids that offer a variety of reasons why in addition to what's already been posted here.

If you do really want the matching look anyway, something else I've seen work is just asking everyone to wear a black tank top (or t-shirt, if anyone's not comfortable with a tank) with you wearing a white one. Then at least no one's out money as literally everyone owns one, and people usually wear a tank top for getting ready anyway as it goes over the head easily.

banana468 · March 2018

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea said:

True - thank you! Was just curious what your experience had been. Is there anything you do recommend? @banana468

Honestly - I recommend their own clothing - either a hoodie or a button down. If you really want to go for matching then I'd buy everyone a white button down since that's generally something that the average person can wear over and over. The easiest thing is to make the getting ready aspect not something that needs to have more coordinated attire though. It was so nice to reach into my closet for my SIL's wedding and just know that I needed a clean button down shirt in the rotation. Packing one more coordinated item can just add to the BM stress.

STARMOON44 · March 2018

I prefer button down shirts to robes, worn with whatever pants I want. I’d rather just wear what I want but if you wanna buy me something fine, at least it isn’t revealing.

holyguacamole79 · March 2018

I honestly don't remember what my bridal party wore when we were getting ready. My photographer offered to come take pictures, but I did't see the point of paying extra $$ for that.

The morning of the wedding, I actually kind of wanted to have quiet down time. I was in a hotel room and my mom, sister, and a bridesmaid were in there getting our hair / makeup done. It was chill and calm.

I would spend that $$ on getting them breakfast / lunch instead.

southernbelle0915 · March 2018

If you want people to match, you should provide the uniform. Don’t ask them to pay for it.

Since you have both men and women in your bridal party, I would just buy them white button down shirts and tell them to wear black pants. Keep it simple and easy.

ei34 · March 2018

My favorite PP suggestion was blank tank tops...followed by the button downs...robes last. Technically you can only dictate their attire at your actual wedding though- in the last 6-7 years I’ve been married and been in several weddings, and if not for TK I’d think the matching getting ready outfits were a Pinterest thing. Why the need to match at all? Glad it’s not a thing in my circle.

Also please don’t mandate that your WP all get ready together. I’m assuming you are, since you’re wondering about what they should wear, though I apologize for my assumption if that’s not the case. It’s suddenly a superlong day if they can’t just show up 30min before the ceremony.

ei34 · March 2018

double post .

holyguacamole79 · March 2018

eileenrob said:

My favorite PP suggestion was blank tank tops...followed by the button downs...robes last. Technically you can only dictate their attire at your actual wedding though- in the last 6-7 years I’ve been married and been in several weddings, and if not for TK I’d think the matching getting ready outfits were a Pinterest thing. Why the need to match at all? Glad it’s not a thing in my circle.

Also please don’t mandate that your WP all get ready together. I’m assuming you are, since you’re wondering about what they should wear, though I apologize for my assumption if that’s not the case. It’s suddenly a superlong day if they can’t just show up 30min before the ceremony.

... and not the "bridesmaid" tanks

charlotte989875 · March 2018

So I think I say this every time there’s a “getting ready” attire thread; I do have one picture displayed in my house it and it’s one of my favorites from the whole day. Everyone is comfortable, relaxed, and I know it wouldn’t be any better if everyone was in matching robes or something specific I asked them to wear.

short+sassy · March 2018

eileenrob said:

My favorite PP suggestion was blank tank tops...followed by the button downs...robes last. Technically you can only dictate their attire at your actual wedding though- in the last 6-7 years I’ve been married and been in several weddings, and if not for TK I’d think the matching getting ready outfits were a Pinterest thing. Why the need to match at all? Glad it’s not a thing in my circle.

Also please don’t mandate that your WP all get ready together. I’m assuming you are, since you’re wondering about what they should wear, though I apologize for my assumption if that’s not the case. It’s suddenly a superlong day if they can’t just show up 30min before the ceremony.

I have to share my funny brain freeze. I initially misread this that in the last 6-7 years, you've been married in several weddings.

OP, I agree with the other PPs. There's already so much going on for a wedding. You're essentially talking about buying an outfit for everyone, that's for a few staged photos. It just isn't worth it. Let your WP focus on getting ready and in clothes they are comfortable in.

SoonToBeSmith0512 · March 2018

Unpopular opinion, but I don’t see anything wrong with matching attire for getting ready, as long as 1) you either pay for the outfits or pick something you know everyone already has and 2) you pick something everyone will feel comfortable in. In my circle, matching getting ready attire is something of a tradition, and one which we all really enjoy!

A few PPs have mentioned some good options - white bottom downs with jeans or black pants, plain blank tanks or tees, etc. I’ve also seen groups do flannel or denim button downs - not necessarily matching, just whatever people already have. Or you could ask everyone to pick a top in a general color scheme. These are all gender neutral options.

I do agree with others to stay away from things like matching PJs or robes since not everyone feels comfortable being photographed in these items.

Casadena · March 2018

For my SIL's wedding a few months ago, her MOH got us all really soft light blue tunic length button downs (the bride got white) bc she works at a department store and got a great deal on them. Most of us wore them with black leggings that we would have worn anyway. I personally think it's really silly and unnecessary but at least it was an option I could wear again - and I have many times.

Point being - if you must do the matchy thing I would echo PP's suggestions of PLAIN hoodies or button downs.

MandyMost · March 2018

What do you want out of the "getting ready" portion of the day? Personally, I wanted just be able to hang out and relax as much as possible with my closest friends and family (i.e. the bridal party), and share the excitement of the day, and ooh and ahhh over how pretty everyone was looking. I love some of my "getting ready pictures" that are in my wedding album--a goofy pic of me and a few friends, my mom getting her hair done, my mom helping me with my dress, etc.-- and other snapshots my friends took that ended up on Facebook, where they're making goofy faces in mirror selfies while doing their own makeup.

We didn't wear matching attire, because I thought that would add more stress to the morning and make people more uncomfortable. And when people are stressed and uncomfortable, they aren't sharing your excitement, and having fun pouring mimosas and scarfing down petit fours.

Those silky robes don't stay shut, so they're an annoyance over clothes and a disaster over undergarments-only. I love a good button-down, but hve a tough time finding one that fits over my tatas without being so big I feel like a giant dumpy man. I'm always hot in a hoodie, especially if there's a blowdryer going nearby. And don't anyone dare tell my what pants to wear--if we're sitting around getting ready I want to be in sweats or leggings. And any novelty tanktop (or any tanktop that's not specifically tunic-length and means it) is always WAYYYYYYY too short on me and my long torso. Those things are belly shirts on me, and I do not have a belly I'm proud to show off...I'd end up trying to layer it over a long-length tank top, and just be uncomfortable.

MobKaz · March 2018

charlotte989875 said:

So I think I say this every time there’s a “getting ready” attire thread; I do have one picture displayed in my house it and it’s one of my favorites from the whole day. Everyone is comfortable, relaxed, and I know it wouldn’t be any better if everyone was in matching robes or something specific I asked them to wear.

I honestly don't know why you would frame this or consider it your favorite picture. It's just very difficult to notice the younger girl toasting with her OJ, celebrating an incredible moment with women whose smiles are almost palpable, because I am so incredibly distracted by their non-matching outfits :-(

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

Thanks! I am paying for it. I would never ask them to pay for it. @southernbelle0915

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

Thank you for your reply! One of the few people who actually gave advice rather than shutting the whole idea down. I appreciate it! @charlotte989875 cute picture! Looks like you all had fun!

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

Thank you for the thoughtful reply! Appreciate the ideas! @MandyMost

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

Definitely not the "bridesmaids" tanks!!! Thanks for the reply @holyguacamole79

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

@eileenrob thanks for the reply. I'm paying for all of the girls to get their hair and makeup done so we will be getting ready together. They're welcome to come and go as they please so it's not a "mandate" as you worded it

knottie0664fc518c29c5ea · March 2018

Thank you so much! @SoonToBeSmith0512 I was actually looking for ideas from other people.

Getting ready attire for men and women

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