My photographer includes getting ready photos in our package so I wanted something matching (or at least coordinating) for my bridal party to wear. I am paying for all of this since it's not a wedding necessity.
I confirmed with everyone in the bridal party (and, in one instance, their mother) that everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready. I let the bridal party vote on whether they wanted a long or short robe, a long or short pajama set, a nightgown, or a romper. The majority of people voted for a pajama set.
I would just talk to those who didn't vote for the pajama set and ask if there's something else that they prefer. This is a human body - so if there's a degree of being uncomfortable why not talk on an individual basis to make sure that everyone feels good?
@banana468 I actually had everyone rank their choices and everyone chose the pajama set as their first or second choice
My point is that you should reach out to those who made it as their second choice and make sure that they like it and are OK with it. Your wedding party has to be small enough that you can take the time to verify with them on the phone that they're cool with the choice.
My photographer includes getting ready photos in our package so I wanted something matching (or at least coordinating) for my bridal party to wear. I am paying for all of this since it's not a wedding necessity.
I confirmed with everyone in the bridal party (and, in one instance, their mother) that everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready. I let the bridal party vote on whether they wanted a long or short robe, a long or short pajama set, a nightgown, or a romper. The majority of people voted for a pajama set.
If you want coordinating, then find a color/pattern that allows everyone their first choice. In this case, majority should not rule. The individual taste and comfort of your FRIENDS should drive this train. As the photo of another poster demonstrates, a great “getting ready” photo is determined by faces rather than apparel.
And, piggybacking @ShesSoCold, Holy Cliff Hanger, Batman! Long or short pajama set???
OK - so the answer then wasn't that your friends and family ranked their choices in a vote. It's that you talked to all of them and all of them agreed in individual conversations about their comfort level.
I think you also need to understand that just because a photo is professionally done it does not require the subjects in the photo to be professionally coordinated. There's something really beautiful about your friends how they naturally like to be.
I wrote up a whole post a while ago about the discomforts of a wedding party robe at 7 weeks postpartum. We weren't consulted about that. There were also getting ready pictures taken. We weren't consulted about that. One is worse than the other, but I didn't want to wear the thing in the first place.
OP, what you said was "everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready." Sure, I don't mind being in a pajama set in front of other people. Did you also confirm that they're okay having their pictures taken in said pajama set? Because that's a different thing, and I wouldn't want that. I don't need my pajama look memorialized. In all cases, I'd rather wear my own clothes, that I know will be flattering or comfortable, because I chose them.
I don't understand why "Let this go and make everyone's lives easier; the pictures will be fine, probably even better because they're happier" isn't obviously the best answer.
ETA - FFS, none of your options were good. I don't understand the matching button down shirt look, but at least that's real clothing. I can understand why pajama set won, even if no one actually wants to wear a pajama set.
I wrote up a whole post a while ago about the discomforts of a wedding party robe at 7 weeks postpartum. We weren't consulted about that. There were also getting ready pictures taken. We weren't consulted about that. One is worse than the other, but I didn't want to wear the thing in the first place.
OP, what you said was "everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready." Sure, I don't mind being in a pajama set in front of other people. Did you also confirm that they're okay having their pictures taken in said pajama set? Because that's a different thing, and I wouldn't want that. I don't need my pajama look memorialized. In all cases, I'd rather wear my own clothes, that I know will be flattering or comfortable, because I chose them.
I don't understand why "Let this go and make everyone's lives easier; the pictures will be fine, probably even better because they're happier" isn't obviously the best answer.
ETA - FFS, none of your options were good. I don't understand the matching button down shirt look, but at least that's real clothing. I can understand why pajama set won, even if no one actually wants to wear a pajama set.
I will also agree with this.
And did you show the matching pajama set? I really hope you're going with something that's more menswear inspired / tailored.
The other options you presented were pajamas or a pain for peeing. Would you really ask your male attendant to wear a rompHIM?
Ugh. Even if the pictures are 'included' in your package, IMO candids of people getting ready in whatever they personally chose would look better anyway. Why must everything have a fucking uniform???
My photographer includes getting ready photos in our package so I wanted something matching (or at least coordinating) for my bridal party to wear. I am paying for all of this since it's not a wedding necessity.
I confirmed with everyone in the bridal party (and, in one instance, their mother) that everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready. I let the bridal party vote on whether they wanted a long or short robe, a long or short pajama set, a nightgown, or a romper. The majority of people voted for a pajama set.
I probably would have voted for a pajama set too. And I'm sure I'd wear it. I'd be talking a LOT of shit about you behind your back, but I'd wear it. Although I'd likely be embarrassed of having to tell you what size to get to make sure the pants fit my thighs (assuming they're not stretchy) and then I'd end up rolling the waist because it'd likely be 2 sizes to big. And I'd probably have to leave the top unbuttoned to fit over my chest, and I'd just hope the arms fit on me alright.
But my point is: you would NEVER get a picture like that awesome one posted above with those real, true smiles and joy if I'm wearing matching attire that someone else picked out and purchased for me. Because I would NEVER be comfortable enough to simply enjoy myself.
You love these people enough to want them to be a part of your wedding--but you don't love and trust them enough to wear their own loungewear?!
It drives me nuts that "getting ready outfits" are a thing right now. For what? A stupid photo? I hope this trend goes the way of the garter toss and puffy sleeves. Who gives a shit what they wear while they put make-up on? This thread has me just...
It drives me nuts that "getting ready outfits" are a thing right now. For what? A stupid photo? I hope this trend goes the way of the garter toss and puffy sleeves. Who gives a shit what they wear while they put make-up on? This thread has me just...
Right?! I have never once looked at a picture of my friends and I and said, "UGH this picture would be great, if only we were all matching."
It drives me nuts that "getting ready outfits" are a thing right now. For what? A stupid photo? I hope this trend goes the way of the garter toss and puffy sleeves. Who gives a shit what they wear while they put make-up on? This thread has me just...
Right?! I have never once looked at a picture of my friends and I and said, "UGH this picture would be great, if only we were all matching."
Except in elementary school on Twin Day. But then (most) people grow up.
We actually stopped offering “twin day” as a theme during spirit weeks. Not everyone wanted to dress identically because even at a young age, kids realize that “no two outfits” work for everyone. Kids also cited not having someone they wanted to “twin with” as another reason they disliked the theme. Sometimes even the most seemingly benign idea/theme can be very isolating, or at the very least, annoying.
Look, being in a wedding party can be stressful enough, what with needing to buy a bridesmaid's dress and any required accessories that doesn't necessarily suit you, attend any pre-wedding events, obtain a gift, and possibly arrange for time off and travel to the wedding if you don't live in the area.
Having to wear a pre-chosen "getting ready" outfit for an artificial "bonding" session and cheesy photo op doesn't make things less stressful or more enjoyable for the wedding party members.
We actually stopped offering “twin day” as a theme during spirit weeks. Not everyone wanted to dress identically because even at a young age, kids realize that “no two outfits” work for everyone. Kids also cited not having someone they wanted to “twin with” as another reason they disliked the theme. Sometimes even the most seemingly benign idea/theme can be very isolating, or at the very least, annoying.
Sitb
Our school had a cute new spirit week dress up day this year ... salad dressing! Seniors were ranch and wore cowboy attire. Juniors were 1000 Island and wore Hawaiian shirts and grass skirts. Sophomores were French and wore French-y stuff (a lot of berets). Freshmen were lettuce and wore green. It was cute!
The only thing about getting ready attire should be is if you're getting updo's done that they wear a button-up top instead of a pullover. Otherwise, get a larger slice of cake for everyone, upgrade the entre', etc. that improve the experience for all of your guests...
The only thing about getting ready attire should be is if you're getting updo's done that they wear a button-up top instead of a pullover. Otherwise, get a larger slice of cake for everyone, upgrade the entre', etc. that improve the experience for all of your guests...
Or at least just upgrade other stuff for the "getting ready experience" for the bridesmaids! Mimosas, better snacks, a bigger suite, etc.
Like PPs, I'll say getting ready attire is 1,000% not necessary. If you want to waste money on something people likely won't wear again for a picture you probably won't ever hang anywhere, by all means go for it. But most people probably aren't going to be too jazzed about it, even if they don't say anything directly to you.
I've been in several weddings, and the one that did have getting ready pictures taken, we just wore our regular clothes. I never even saw those pictures, even though the bride posted just about the entire wedding album on Facebook. There were a couple sweet ones with her mom helping with a necklace and one of the BMs adding details to her hair (BM was the hair stylist), but those happened once we were already all dressed.
Use the money you'd spend on pajamas or whatever for extra snacks or drinks while you're all getting ready. What people wear during that time is such a small part of the entire day that's just been blown totally out of proportion by Pinterest.
I’ve been in more weddings than I can count and I hate matching stuff. At least people will be in pjs which cover more than robes do but I’m bothered by the cost that brides throw at these items. I have never worn my matching items again and recently just donated a whole lot to charity. I would have preferred food or drink over matching items. I never let the bride know my preference about not wanting to wear matching stuff and have my photo taken because I was trying to be respectful and not cause an issue.
I’ve been in more weddings than I can count and I hate matching stuff. At least people will be in pjs which cover more than robes do but I’m bothered by the cost that brides throw at these items. I have never worn my matching items again and recently just donated a whole lot to charity. I would have preferred food or drink over matching items. I never let the bride know my preference about not wanting to wear matching stuff and have my photo taken because I was trying to be respectful and not cause an issue.
This is an important point to make, since so many people come onto these forums and share [arguably] bad ideas and say "well I asked my bridal party/parents/SO/grandma's cat and they said it was fine". Yes, that may be true, but they can see how excited or insistent you are and they just want to not rock the boat. Maybe they think they're the only uncomfortable one, maybe they just don't want to cause a tantrum, maybe they just don't think their objection is important enough. Whatever the reason is, they think they're keeping the peace but that doesn't mean the idea isn't bad or tacky or rude. It just means your friends don't want to deal with the fallout.
I’ve been in more weddings than I can count and I hate matching stuff. At least people will be in pjs which cover more than robes do but I’m bothered by the cost that brides throw at these items. I have never worn my matching items again and recently just donated a whole lot to charity. I would have preferred food or drink over matching items. I never let the bride know my preference about not wanting to wear matching stuff and have my photo taken because I was trying to be respectful and not cause an issue.
This is an important point to make, since so many people come onto these forums and share [arguably] bad ideas and say "well I asked my bridal party/parents/SO/grandma's cat and they said it was fine". Yes, that may be true, but they can see how excited or insistent you are and they just want to not rock the boat. Maybe they think they're the only uncomfortable one, maybe they just don't want to cause a tantrum, maybe they just don't think their objection is important enough. Whatever the reason is, they think they're keeping the peace but that doesn't mean the idea isn't bad or tacky or rude. It just means your friends don't want to deal with the fallout.
That is me! Rocking the boat isn’t my style for something like this.
I’ve been in more weddings than I can count and I hate matching stuff. At least people will be in pjs which cover more than robes do but I’m bothered by the cost that brides throw at these items. I have never worn my matching items again and recently just donated a whole lot to charity. I would have preferred food or drink over matching items. I never let the bride know my preference about not wanting to wear matching stuff and have my photo taken because I was trying to be respectful and not cause an issue.
This is an important point to make, since so many people come onto these forums and share [arguably] bad ideas and say "well I asked my bridal party/parents/SO/grandma's cat and they said it was fine". Yes, that may be true, but they can see how excited or insistent you are and they just want to not rock the boat. Maybe they think they're the only uncomfortable one, maybe they just don't want to cause a tantrum, maybe they just don't think their objection is important enough. Whatever the reason is, they think they're keeping the peace but that doesn't mean the idea isn't bad or tacky or rude. It just means your friends don't want to deal with the fallout.
That is me! Rocking the boat isn’t my style for something like this.
yupppppppppp
I was a bridesmaid a few years ago and the bride wanted all to wear these funky fabric flowers in our hair that she got on Etsy. "oooh, it's so cute!" Aaaaaand it was in the trash shortly after leaving the reception.
Re: Getting ready attire for men and women
I confirmed with everyone in the bridal party (and, in one instance, their mother) that everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready. I let the bridal party vote on whether they wanted a long or short robe, a long or short pajama set, a nightgown, or a romper. The majority of people voted for a pajama set.
@banana468 @ShesSoCold @artbyallie @thisismynickname2 @STARMOON44 @holyguacamole79 @southernbelle0915 @eileenrob @charlotte989875 @short+sassy @SoonToBeSmith0512 @Casadena @MandyMost @MobKaz
LOL @ "ranking choices" for getting ready attire.
Holy over thinking a tiny detail, batman.
And, piggybacking @ShesSoCold, Holy Cliff Hanger, Batman! Long or short pajama set???
I think you also need to understand that just because a photo is professionally done it does not require the subjects in the photo to be professionally coordinated. There's something really beautiful about your friends how they naturally like to be.
OP, what you said was "everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready." Sure, I don't mind being in a pajama set in front of other people. Did you also confirm that they're okay having their pictures taken in said pajama set? Because that's a different thing, and I wouldn't want that. I don't need my pajama look memorialized. In all cases, I'd rather wear my own clothes, that I know will be flattering or comfortable, because I chose them.
I don't understand why "Let this go and make everyone's lives easier; the pictures will be fine, probably even better because they're happier" isn't obviously the best answer.
ETA - FFS, none of your options were good. I don't understand the matching button down shirt look, but at least that's real clothing. I can understand why pajama set won, even if no one actually wants to wear a pajama set.
And did you show the matching pajama set? I really hope you're going with something that's more menswear inspired / tailored.
The other options you presented were pajamas or a pain for peeing. Would you really ask your male attendant to wear a rompHIM?
But my point is: you would NEVER get a picture like that awesome one posted above with those real, true smiles and joy if I'm wearing matching attire that someone else picked out and purchased for me. Because I would NEVER be comfortable enough to simply enjoy myself.
You love these people enough to want them to be a part of your wedding--but you don't love and trust them enough to wear their own loungewear?!
Try that one.
I have been in three weddings since 2013 and had my own wedding in 2012, and there was matching get ready attire in exactly zero of those four.
This is a trend that some brides do, and the ones that do have an outsize impact because other people see that on Pinterest and in magazines.
Right?! I have never once looked at a picture of my friends and I and said, "UGH this picture would be great, if only we were all matching."
Having to wear a pre-chosen "getting ready" outfit for an artificial "bonding" session and cheesy photo op doesn't make things less stressful or more enjoyable for the wedding party members.
This is one trend that really needs to die.
I've been in several weddings, and the one that did have getting ready pictures taken, we just wore our regular clothes. I never even saw those pictures, even though the bride posted just about the entire wedding album on Facebook. There were a couple sweet ones with her mom helping with a necklace and one of the BMs adding details to her hair (BM was the hair stylist), but those happened once we were already all dressed.
Use the money you'd spend on pajamas or whatever for extra snacks or drinks while you're all getting ready. What people wear during that time is such a small part of the entire day that's just been blown totally out of proportion by Pinterest.
I was a bridesmaid a few years ago and the bride wanted all to wear these funky fabric flowers in our hair that she got on Etsy. "oooh, it's so cute!" Aaaaaand it was in the trash shortly after leaving the reception.