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Getting ready attire for men and women

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Re: Getting ready attire for men and women

  • knottie0664fc518c29c5eaknottie0664fc518c29c5ea member
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    @SoonToBeSmith0512 sorry - hid post too soon! I am paying for everything. thanks for the advice!
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  • knottie0664fc518c29c5eaknottie0664fc518c29c5ea member
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    My photographer includes getting ready photos in our package so I wanted something matching (or at least coordinating) for my bridal party to wear. I am paying for all of this since it's not a wedding necessity. 

    I confirmed with everyone in the bridal party (and, in one instance, their mother) that everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready. I let the bridal party vote on whether they wanted a long or short robe, a long or short pajama set, a nightgown, or a romper. The majority of people voted for a pajama set.

    @banana468 @ShesSoCold @artbyallie @thisismynickname2 @STARMOON44 @holyguacamole79 @southernbelle0915 @eileenrob @charlotte989875 @short+sassy @SoonToBeSmith0512 @Casadena @MandyMost @MobKaz

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  • banana468banana468 member
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    I would just talk to those who didn't vote for the pajama set and ask if there's something else that they prefer.   This is a human body - so if there's a degree of being uncomfortable why not talk on an individual basis to make sure that everyone feels good? 
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  • knottie0664fc518c29c5eaknottie0664fc518c29c5ea member
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    @banana468 I actually had everyone rank their choices and everyone chose the pajama set as their first or second choice 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    knottie0664fc518c29c5ea said:
    @banana468 I actually had everyone rank their choices and everyone chose the pajama set as their first or second choice 
    My point is that you should reach out to those who made it as their second choice and make sure that they like it and are OK with it.   Your wedding party has to be small enough that you can take the time to verify with them on the phone that they're cool with the choice.  
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  • knottie0664fc518c29c5eaknottie0664fc518c29c5ea member
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    I did already @banana468 thanks for your concern 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
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    edited March 2018
    knottie0664fc518c29c5ea said:
    My photographer includes getting ready photos in our package so I wanted something matching (or at least coordinating) for my bridal party to wear. I am paying for all of this since it's not a wedding necessity. 

    I confirmed with everyone in the bridal party (and, in one instance, their mother) that everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready. I let the bridal party vote on whether they wanted a long or short robe, a long or short pajama set, a nightgown, or a romper. The majority of people voted for a pajama set.

    @banana468 @ShesSoCold @artbyallie @thisismynickname2 @STARMOON44 @holyguacamole79 @southernbelle0915 @eileenrob @charlotte989875 @short+sassy @SoonToBeSmith0512 @Casadena @MandyMost @MobKaz

    If you want coordinating, then find a color/pattern that allows everyone their first choice. In this case, majority should not rule.  The individual taste and comfort of your FRIENDS should drive this train.  As the photo of another poster demonstrates, a great “getting ready” photo is determined by faces rather than apparel. 

    And, piggybacking @ShesSoCold, Holy Cliff Hanger, Batman!  Long or short pajama set???
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    flantastic said:
    I wrote up a whole post a while ago about the discomforts of a wedding party robe at 7 weeks postpartum. We weren't consulted about that. There were also getting ready pictures taken. We weren't consulted about that. One is worse than the other, but I didn't want to wear the thing in the first place.

    OP, what you said was "everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready." Sure, I don't mind being in a pajama set in front of other people. Did you also confirm that they're okay having their pictures taken in said pajama set? Because that's a different thing, and I wouldn't want that. I don't need my pajama look memorialized. In all cases, I'd rather wear my own clothes, that I know will be flattering or comfortable, because I chose them.

    I don't understand why "Let this go and make everyone's lives easier; the pictures will be fine, probably even better because they're happier" isn't obviously the best answer.

    ETA - FFS, none of your options were good. I don't understand the matching button down shirt look, but at least that's real clothing. I can understand why pajama set won, even if no one actually wants to wear a pajama set.
    I will also agree with this.

    And did you show the matching pajama  set?   I really hope you're going with something that's more menswear inspired / tailored.  

    The other options you presented were pajamas or a pain for peeing.   Would you really ask your male attendant to wear a rompHIM? 
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
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    Ugh. Even if the pictures are 'included' in your package, IMO candids of people getting ready in whatever they personally chose would look better anyway. Why must everything have a fucking uniform???
    image
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
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    knottie0664fc518c29c5ea said:
    My photographer includes getting ready photos in our package so I wanted something matching (or at least coordinating) for my bridal party to wear. I am paying for all of this since it's not a wedding necessity. 

    I confirmed with everyone in the bridal party (and, in one instance, their mother) that everyone was comfortable wearing sleep/lounge wear in front of each other as we got ready. I let the bridal party vote on whether they wanted a long or short robe, a long or short pajama set, a nightgown, or a romper. The majority of people voted for a pajama set.

    I probably would have voted for a pajama set too. And I'm sure I'd wear it. I'd be talking a LOT of shit about you behind your back, but I'd wear it. Although I'd likely be embarrassed of having to tell you what size to get to make sure the pants fit my thighs (assuming they're not stretchy) and then I'd end up rolling the waist because it'd likely be 2 sizes to big. And I'd probably have to leave the top unbuttoned to fit over my chest, and I'd just hope the arms fit on me alright. 

    But my point is: you would NEVER get a picture like that awesome one posted above with those real, true smiles and joy if I'm wearing matching attire that someone else picked out and purchased for me. Because I would NEVER be comfortable enough to simply enjoy myself. 

    You love these people enough to want them to be a part of your wedding--but you don't love and trust them enough to wear their own loungewear?!
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    It drives me nuts that "getting ready outfits" are a thing right now. For what? A stupid photo? I hope this trend goes the way of the garter toss and puffy sleeves. Who gives a shit what they wear while they put make-up on? This thread has me just... 
    Image result for oh my god who cares gif
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    image
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    southernbelle0915 said:
    It drives me nuts that "getting ready outfits" are a thing right now. For what? A stupid photo? I hope this trend goes the way of the garter toss and puffy sleeves. Who gives a shit what they wear while they put make-up on? This thread has me just... 
    Image result for oh my god who cares gif

    Right?! I have never once looked at a picture of my friends and I and said, "UGH this picture would be great, if only we were all matching."
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    ShesSoCold said:
    southernbelle0915 said:
    It drives me nuts that "getting ready outfits" are a thing right now. For what? A stupid photo? I hope this trend goes the way of the garter toss and puffy sleeves. Who gives a shit what they wear while they put make-up on? This thread has me just... 
    Image result for oh my god who cares gif

    Right?! I have never once looked at a picture of my friends and I and said, "UGH this picture would be great, if only we were all matching."
    Except in elementary school on Twin Day. But then (most) people grow up. 
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    image
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
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    We actually stopped offering “twin day” as a theme during spirit weeks.  Not everyone wanted to dress identically because even at a young age, kids realize that “no two outfits” work for everyone.  Kids also cited not having someone they wanted to “twin with” as another reason they disliked the theme.  Sometimes even the most seemingly benign idea/theme can be very isolating, or at the very least, annoying.  
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited March 2018
    Look, being in a wedding party can be stressful enough, what with needing to buy a bridesmaid's dress and any required accessories that doesn't necessarily suit you, attend any pre-wedding events, obtain a gift, and possibly arrange for time off and travel to the wedding if you don't live in the area.

    Having to wear a pre-chosen "getting ready" outfit for an artificial "bonding" session and cheesy photo op doesn't make things less stressful or more enjoyable for the wedding party members. 

    This is one trend that really needs to die.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    It is a lot simpler when your wedding party just gets dressed and is ready for the ceremony.  They are your friends, not professional models.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    MobKaz said:
    We actually stopped offering “twin day” as a theme during spirit weeks.  Not everyone wanted to dress identically because even at a young age, kids realize that “no two outfits” work for everyone.  Kids also cited not having someone they wanted to “twin with” as another reason they disliked the theme.  Sometimes even the most seemingly benign idea/theme can be very isolating, or at the very least, annoying.  


    Sitb

    Our school had a cute new spirit week dress up day this year ... salad dressing!  Seniors were ranch and wore cowboy attire.  Juniors were 1000 Island and wore Hawaiian shirts and grass skirts.  Sophomores were French and wore French-y stuff (a lot of berets).  Freshmen were lettuce and wore green.   It was cute!




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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    The only thing about getting ready attire should be is if you're getting updo's done that they wear a button-up top instead of a pullover.  Otherwise, get a larger slice of cake for everyone, upgrade the entre', etc. that improve the experience for all of your guests...  
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
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    MesmrEwe said:
    The only thing about getting ready attire should be is if you're getting updo's done that they wear a button-up top instead of a pullover.  Otherwise, get a larger slice of cake for everyone, upgrade the entre', etc. that improve the experience for all of your guests...  
    Or at least just upgrade other stuff for the "getting ready experience" for the bridesmaids! Mimosas, better snacks, a bigger suite, etc. 
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  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
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    Like PPs, I'll say getting ready attire is 1,000% not necessary. If you want to waste money on something people likely won't wear again for a picture you probably won't ever hang anywhere, by all means go for it. But most people probably aren't going to be too jazzed about it, even if they don't say anything directly to you.

    I've been in several weddings, and the one that did have getting ready pictures taken, we just wore our regular clothes. I never even saw those pictures, even though the bride posted just about the entire wedding album on Facebook. There were a couple sweet ones with her mom helping with a necklace and one of the BMs adding details to her hair (BM was the hair stylist), but those happened once we were already all dressed. 

    Use the money you'd spend on pajamas or whatever for extra snacks or drinks while you're all getting ready. What people wear during that time is such a small part of the entire day that's just been blown totally out of proportion by Pinterest.
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  • ernursejernursej member
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    InLoveInQueens said:
    ernursej said:
    I’ve been in more weddings than I can count and I hate matching stuff. At least people will be in pjs which cover more than robes do but I’m bothered by the cost that brides throw at these items. I have never worn my matching items again and recently just donated a whole lot to charity. I would have preferred food or drink over matching items. I never let the bride know my preference about not wanting to wear matching stuff and have my photo taken because I was trying to be respectful and not cause an issue. 
    This is an important point to make, since so many people come onto these forums and share [arguably] bad ideas and say "well I asked my bridal party/parents/SO/grandma's cat and they said it was fine". Yes, that may be true, but they can see how excited or insistent you are and they just want to not rock the boat. Maybe they think they're the only uncomfortable one, maybe they just don't want to cause a tantrum, maybe they just don't think their objection is important enough. Whatever the reason is, they think they're keeping the peace but that doesn't mean the idea isn't bad or tacky or rude. It just means your friends don't want to deal with the fallout.
    That is me! Rocking the boat isn’t my style for something like this. 
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    ernursej said:
    InLoveInQueens said:
    ernursej said:
    I’ve been in more weddings than I can count and I hate matching stuff. At least people will be in pjs which cover more than robes do but I’m bothered by the cost that brides throw at these items. I have never worn my matching items again and recently just donated a whole lot to charity. I would have preferred food or drink over matching items. I never let the bride know my preference about not wanting to wear matching stuff and have my photo taken because I was trying to be respectful and not cause an issue. 
    This is an important point to make, since so many people come onto these forums and share [arguably] bad ideas and say "well I asked my bridal party/parents/SO/grandma's cat and they said it was fine". Yes, that may be true, but they can see how excited or insistent you are and they just want to not rock the boat. Maybe they think they're the only uncomfortable one, maybe they just don't want to cause a tantrum, maybe they just don't think their objection is important enough. Whatever the reason is, they think they're keeping the peace but that doesn't mean the idea isn't bad or tacky or rude. It just means your friends don't want to deal with the fallout.
    That is me! Rocking the boat isn’t my style for something like this. 
    yupppppppppp

    I was a bridesmaid a few years ago and the bride wanted all to wear these funky fabric flowers in our hair that she got on Etsy.  "oooh, it's so cute!"  Aaaaaand it was in the trash shortly after leaving the reception.




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