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Wedding Etiquette Forum
NBSquared2017
member
Receiving Line Standoff - Who's Right?
We have 167 guests confirmed, and I think a receiving line is the best way to thank everyone, especially since we have several people who are not attending the reception. FH agrees, but we are now at a standoff.
I think the entire bridal party should be in the receiving line and he thinks that's awkward, and it should just be the two of us and our parents (they are hosting). I think it's rude to thank all the guests and have our BP standing around doing nothing till we take pictures.
Ideal timeline:
Ceremony 3:30-4:00
Receiving line 4:00-4:30
WP Pictures: 4:45-5:00
The Cocktail hour will start at 5:00 there is a 15-minute drive to the reception location and the cocktail hour will start as soon as the first guest arrives
DH/I Pictures 5:00-5:45
What are your thoughts?
Edited to include cocktail hour information
I think the entire bridal party should be in the receiving line and he thinks that's awkward, and it should just be the two of us and our parents (they are hosting). I think it's rude to thank all the guests and have our BP standing around doing nothing till we take pictures.
Ideal timeline:
Ceremony 3:30-4:00
Receiving line 4:00-4:30
WP Pictures: 4:45-5:00
The Cocktail hour will start at 5:00 there is a 15-minute drive to the reception location and the cocktail hour will start as soon as the first guest arrives
DH/I Pictures 5:00-5:45
What are your thoughts?
Edited to include cocktail hour information
Re: Receiving Line Standoff - Who's Right?
I'm with your H. It would be awkward for your great uncle Horace to have to make small talk with your sorority sister while he's waiting to congratulate you.
Question though, what will your guests be doing from the time they're done in the receiving line until cocktail hour opens?
I don't understand the thinking that it would be better to make them say hi to a bunch of people they don't know then it is for them to take a seat, possibly have a drink and some apps, while you greet your guests?
Also, your cocktail hour needs to start when the first guests arrives at the reception space/is through the receiving line (if your ceremony and reception are happening at the same location.
Thank you!
Quite frankly I didn't "come up" with something for the WP to do during the receiving line. They milled around and chatted with themselves and other guests. It went so fast that of all things on my list I think I had that as a negative priority. Seriously. They can pee or talk - SO not on my list of things to worry about.
Our receiving line was DH and me and our parents. IMO, that's the most amount you need or you'll have people who don't know your guests attempting to make small talk with them.
Do you have a DOC? They can be helpful in moving the line along for extra chatty guests.
SNS - when I'm at a relative's wedding I don't need to talk to the WP nor the Parents of the IL's... That's extra time bogging down the speed of the line.
Thanks ladies!!
((jk!!))
Uh oh! You need some marriage advice, lol.
The best way to have handled this is to acknowledge his point and "reluctantly" agree. Then follow up with another minor debate. Like, "I know we've been going back and forth on the type of salad to provide. I realize Caesar is your favorite, but don't you think mixed greens would have a wider appeal and go better with a variety of dressings?"
Ideal timeline:
Ceremony 3:30-4:00
Receiving line 4:00-4:30
WP & Family Pictures: 4:30-5:00
Newlywed Pics: 5:00-5:30
Cocktail Hour: 4:15 (ETA when first guest arrives at cocktail hour) - 6:00pm
I assume WP and family would arrive at cocktail hour around 5:15 and you would arrive at about 5:45 (maybe to freshen up and bustle your dress, so you're ready for the reception to start at 6pm).
There are no concerns about the WP and family sitting around waiting while the receiving line happens.
Half an hour should be fine for all the WP and family pics assuming you're focusing on pictures you actually want. I was just a BM in a wedding where they did literally ever combination--me and another BM were having a blast joking about what they were going to do with the pic of the bride and her new brother-in-law, for example. You don't need every individual pair!
I agree with the rest of your post.
OP, you know your family and friends. Our cocktail hour started at 4 or when guests showed up. Our Catholic ceremony was at 2. Our long winded priest made the mass over an hour and the milling around made the cocktails start a bit before 4 PM. It worked out and they were ready for us. No big deal.
That said, I wouldn't tell your venue to start something when the laws of physics make it impossible to start at that time.