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Receiving Line Standoff - Who's Right?

NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited May 2018 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We have 167 guests confirmed, and I think a receiving line is the best way to thank everyone, especially since we have several people who are not attending the reception. FH agrees, but we are now at a standoff.

I think the entire bridal party should be in the receiving line and he thinks that's awkward, and it should just be the two of us and our parents (they are hosting). I think it's rude to thank all the guests and have our BP standing around doing nothing till we take pictures.  

Ideal timeline:
Ceremony 3:30-4:00
Receiving line 4:00-4:30
WP Pictures: 4:45-5:00
The Cocktail hour will start at 5:00 there is a 15-minute drive to the reception location and the cocktail hour will start as soon as the first guest arrives
DH/I Pictures 5:00-5:45

What are your thoughts?

Edited to include cocktail hour information
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Re: Receiving Line Standoff - Who's Right?

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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    ShesSoCold said:
    NBSquared2017 said:
    We have 167 guests confirmed and I think a receiving line is the best way to thank everyone, especially since we have several people who are not attending the reception. FH agrees, but we are now at a standoff.

    I think the entire bridal party should be in the receiving line and he thinks that's awkward and it should just be the two of us and our parents (they are hosting). I think it's rude to thank all the guests and have our BP standing around doing nothing till we take pictures.  

    Ideal timeline:
    Ceremony 3:30-4:00
    Receiving line 4:00-4:30
    WP Pictures: 4:45-5:00
    **Cocktail starts at 5:00**
    DH/I Pictures 5:00-5:45

    What are your thoughts?


    I'm with your H. It would be awkward for your great uncle Horace to have to make small talk with your sorority sister while he's waiting to congratulate you.

    Question though, what will your guests be doing from the time they're done in the receiving line until cocktail hour opens?

    The reception venue is 15 minutes away from the ceremony site - after the receiving line they are heading right over and getting the party started!
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    freckles0716 said:
    I'm with your H.  Your guests are there to see you.  They do not need (nor probably want) to greet your wedding party who they may or may not know which will just lead to awkward silences or the uncomfortable need to make polite conversation with a stranger.

    I don't understand the thinking that it would be better to make them say hi to a bunch of people they don't know then it is for them to take a seat, possibly have a drink and some apps, while you greet your guests?

    Also, your cocktail hour needs to start when the first guests arrives at the reception space/is through the receiving line (if your ceremony and reception are happening at the same location.

    STIB- 

    The ceremony and the reception are 15 minutes away from one another. The guests are heading over right after the RL. DOC confirmed that they can start CH within 10-15 minutes of start time. 
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2018
    climbingwife said:
    I'm absolutely with your H on this. Bridal party in the receiving line is always so awkward. I've had to stand up there as a bridesmaid, and I only know maybe 25% of the guests. And as a guest, I may only know one or two BP members. That forced small talk KILLS ME. 

    **STIB** agian 

    Here's my question: FH and I are not doing a first look so we were planning on taking WP pictures after the RL. What should I have my WP do? Hopefully it will only take 1/2 hour to get through thanking all the guests...I just don't want my WP to get annoyed waiting for us to take pictures...
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    Agree with PPs. Please let your BP out of the receiving line. How awkward for them. I thankfully haven’t been made to do that as a BM but I can tell you I would absolutely hate it. 

    Do you have a DOC? They can be helpful in moving the line along for extra chatty guests. 


    image
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
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    levioosa said:
    Agree with PPs. Please let your BP out of the receiving line. How awkward for them. I thankfully haven’t been made to do that as a BM but I can tell you I would absolutely hate it. 

    Do you have a DOC? They can be helpful in moving the line along for extra chatty guests. 
    I do! I did not think about that. I'm going to utilize the heck out of him for moving the line along!  
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I agree with your fi. Putting everyone in the line will slow the process down and make it awkward for your wp and guests. Your wp can use this time to go to the restroom. If you can provide bottled water for them, that would be great. Your wp will be free to mingle with the guests that they know, if they want.
                       
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I'm with everyone else (and your FI) your WP doesn't need to be in the line. We had about 220 guests and did a RL. Our wedding party grabbed drinks from the limo, touched up makeup, went back into the church to use the bathroom or sit down until pictures. Or they chatted with friends/family there were at the ceremony. 
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    MRDCleMRDCle member
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    I would also check with your photographer on timing for photos - 15 minutes isn't a ton of time to get WP photos done, depending on the size of your WP.
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    CasadenaCasadena member
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    no bridal party - that's super awkward.  If i'm a BM I can entertain myself for 20 minutes between walking and pictures. 
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    bubblylovebubblylove member
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    I'm with H too. Our wedding party went through the receiving line and then hung out for a few minutes. Not a big deal. I have been in a receiving line as a bridal party member and it was excruciating.
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    MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    Another vote for your FI here...  You two and the Parents only!  Also - split the parents off to the right and left if you want to keep the line moving quickly because then the guests can get to the reception site that much quicker. 

    SNS - when I'm at a relative's wedding I don't need to talk to the WP nor the Parents of the IL's...  That's extra time bogging down the speed of the line.  
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    downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    You don't need your wedding party in the receiving line. It will just be awkward and tedious for them, as well as for your guests. Honestly, at most weddings, I'm not going to care about talking to the WP, and if there is anyone I want to say hi to, there will be other chances to do so.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I agree with your FH. Your wedding party members are not hosts or honorees and as such don't need to be in the receiving line.
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    redwoodoriginalredwoodoriginal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited May 2018
    @NBSquared2017 that made me lol. Sorry you lost this one. If it were me I wouldn’t have told him everyone agrees- just “I had a change of heart” LOL. Would not want to make my dh think he’s a wedding expert  :lol:

    ((jk!!))
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    NBSquared2017 said:
    You all made valid points. FH was VERY excited to know that you all agreed with him and now he thinks he's a wedding expert...this guy, I tell ya. 

    Thanks ladies!!


    Uh oh!  You need some marriage advice, lol.

    The best way to have handled this is to acknowledge his point and "reluctantly" agree.  Then follow up with another minor debate.  Like, "I know we've been going back and forth on the type of salad to provide.  I realize Caesar is your favorite, but don't you think mixed greens would have a wider appeal and go better with a variety of dressings?"  ;) 

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    NBSquared2017 said:
    You all made valid points. FH was VERY excited to know that you all agreed with him and now he thinks he's a wedding expert...this guy, I tell ya. 

    Thanks ladies!!

    Depends on the issue. Just because we agree with him on this one doesn't mean we're going to agree with him 100% of the time. And it doesn't make him a "wedding expert" (unless he's a wedding planner himself). And sometimes we don't agree with them either.
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    ernursejernursej member
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    If the parents aren't hosting, they don't have to be part of the receiving line. That would also shorten the process.
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    MandyMostMandyMost member
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    Even with your edits, your timeline still doesnt' look right:

    Ideal timeline:
    Ceremony 3:30-4:00
    Receiving line 4:00-4:30
    WP & Family Pictures: 4:30-5:00
    Newlywed Pics: 5:00-5:30

    Cocktail Hour: 4:15 (ETA when first guest arrives at cocktail hour) - 6:00pm
    I assume WP and family would arrive at cocktail hour around 5:15 and you would arrive at about 5:45 (maybe to freshen up and bustle your dress, so you're ready for the reception to start at 6pm). 

    There are no concerns about the WP and family sitting around waiting while the receiving line happens. 



    Half an hour should be fine for all the WP and family pics assuming you're focusing on pictures you actually want. I was just a BM in a wedding where they did literally ever combination--me and another BM were having a blast joking about what they were going to do with the pic of the bride and her new brother-in-law, for example. You don't need every individual pair!
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2018
    MandyMost said:
    Even with your edits, your timeline still doesnt' look right:

    Ideal timeline:
    Ceremony 3:30-4:00
    Receiving line 4:00-4:30
    WP & Family Pictures: 4:30-5:00
    Newlywed Pics: 5:00-5:30

    Cocktail Hour: 4:15 (ETA when first guest arrives at cocktail hour) - 6:00pm
    I assume WP and family would arrive at cocktail hour around 5:15 and you would arrive at about 5:45 (maybe to freshen up and bustle your dress, so you're ready for the reception to start at 6pm). 

    There are no concerns about the WP and family sitting around waiting while the receiving line happens. 



    Half an hour should be fine for all the WP and family pics assuming you're focusing on pictures you actually want. I was just a BM in a wedding where they did literally ever combination--me and another BM were having a blast joking about what they were going to do with the pic of the bride and her new brother-in-law, for example. You don't need every individual pair!
    I'd start the cocktail hour at 4:00, as soon as the ceremony is over.

    I agree with the rest of your post.
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