Without any snark to the OP, I honestly think she should
1) Know that her ILs won't change their approach with SIL. She can talk to her FI about her comfort level but I do recommend some level of counseling if the OP is going to feel like the SIL is allowed to insert herself. This is going to be a major conflict resolution.
2) Regarding the cake, I recommend either buying their own to cut or getting a cake with multiple tiers and flavors that please everyone.
3) Finally, regardless of the OP's take on this please don't treat guests differently. They see it and notice and they talk. It may not be the biggest deal but it it's an entirely preventable situation.
I get that when you're stressed sometimes you feel like stomping and picking that ONE battle. But in the grand scheme of things, it's far better to come up with solutions than sticking points.
Also, ditto that @LondonLisa needs to write my biography. Just like our president she has THE BEST words.
Without any snark to the OP, I honestly think she should
1) Know that her ILs won't change their approach with SIL. She can talk to her FI about her comfort level but I do recommend some level of counseling if the OP is going to feel like the SIL is allowed to insert herself. This is going to be a major conflict resolution.
2) Regarding the cake, I recommend either buying their own to cut or getting a cake with multiple tiers and flavors that please everyone.
3) Finally, regardless of the OP's take on this please don't treat guests differently. They see it and notice and they talk. It may not be the biggest deal but it it's an entirely preventable situation.
I get that when you're stressed sometimes you feel like stomping and picking that ONE battle. But in the grand scheme of things, it's far better to come up with solutions than sticking points.
Also, ditto that @LondonLisa needs to write my biography. Just like our president she has THE BEST words.
SITB——————
I am a very stable genius. It’s Obama’s fault she wouldn’t take my advice. Now she has a BAD CAKE DEAL. Sad.
None of it’s real. I’ve been married for a little over five years (not that that makes me an expert on weddings). I’m working on my dissertation and this could be part of it.
None of it’s real. I’ve been married for a little over five years (not that that makes me an expert on weddings). I’m working on my dissertation and this could be part of it.
None of it’s real. I’ve been married for a little over five years (not that that makes me an expert on weddings). I’m working on my dissertation and this could be part of it.
None of it’s real. I’ve been married for a little over five years (not that that makes me an expert on weddings). I’m working on my dissertation and this could be part of it.
Just remember - since you're claiming now that this was part of a research project at a doctoral level, we all would like the name of the institution you're writing the dissertation for so that we can all individually file ethics complaints for nondisclosure, non-consent, the potential that someone responding was under 18, just for starters to the Research Review Board. Ethics violations will be fun to try to explain away as you're formally removed from the doctoral program with probably $100-150k in student loan debt...
Also, I am cautioning you about her mental health status. In one sentence you're rolling your eyes at your FSIL's bipolar diagnosis and in another one you want everyone to understand that decades ago chocolate made you sick so now you simply cannot eat the chocolate cake.
I get it. Weddings are stressful. But I think you're picking the wrong battles and you're not making yourself endearing to your in laws or your FH in the process.
Thank you for saying this, banana. I couldn't get past OP's concern about the family catering to the sister with a mental health diagnosis, when OP describes her own aversion to chocolate cake that is so severe that it's blinded her to some common sense solutions - do a half and half cake or decline the parent's money and pay for whatever flavor she likes. Why make it a test for the parents and the sister and the groom? It's a cake, it's not that hard.
None of it’s real. I’ve been married for a little over five years (not that that makes me an expert on weddings). I’m working on my dissertation and this could be part of it.
This is hilarious! Please tell me exactly which Ph.D program you're in, and which institution. I'd love to know.
None of it’s real. I’ve been married for a little over five years (not that that makes me an expert on weddings). I’m working on my dissertation and this could be part of it.
This is hilarious! Please tell me exactly which Ph.D program you're in, and which institution. I'd love to know.
We used to joke about PhD programs as "Piled High and Deep"...
And having had my research published years ago... What justsie said:!!!
Seriously as someone who also does research, there is so much wrong with this "data" collection that it's laughable.
Even in infinitesimally small possibility that OP is actually trying to do a doctorate, and we leave alone she has no way of verifying age, sex, location let alone consent to be interviewed/ participate in a study (which would never get past her upgrade, and there is no way an external examiner would allow this) and that her data set is so inherently flawed any conclusions would be nonsensical...
What would her title be? "Till Buttercream do us part: the effects of cake flavour on marriage durability"
Even in infinitesimally small possibility that OP is actually trying to do a doctorate, and we leave alone she has no way of verifying age, sex, location let alone consent to be interviewed/ participate in a study (which would never get past her upgrade, and there is no way an external examiner would allow this) and that her data set is so inherently flawed any conclusions would be nonsensical...
What would her title be? "Till Buttercream do us part: the effects of cake flavour on marriage durability"
"Stress Factors and the Wedding Industry: How cake flavors ruins relationships with extend family members"
None of it’s real. I’ve been married for a little over five years (not that that makes me an expert on weddings). I’m working on my dissertation and this could be part of it.
Re: Future SIL
1) Know that her ILs won't change their approach with SIL. She can talk to her FI about her comfort level but I do recommend some level of counseling if the OP is going to feel like the SIL is allowed to insert herself. This is going to be a major conflict resolution.
2) Regarding the cake, I recommend either buying their own to cut or getting a cake with multiple tiers and flavors that please everyone.
3) Finally, regardless of the OP's take on this please don't treat guests differently. They see it and notice and they talk. It may not be the biggest deal but it it's an entirely preventable situation.
I get that when you're stressed sometimes you feel like stomping and picking that ONE battle. But in the grand scheme of things, it's far better to come up with solutions than sticking points.
Also, ditto that @LondonLisa needs to write my biography. Just like our president she has THE BEST words.
you either go to Bob’s mechanic’s college and basement o’doctorates or committed several ethics violations that would never get you past your viva.
but good for you to try to save face. To use a classic Irish cliche: God loves a trier.
And having had my research published years ago... What justsie said:!!!
What would her title be? "Till Buttercream do us part: the effects of cake flavour on marriage durability"