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[Deleted User] · July 2018

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flantastic · July 2018

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

Okay so here is the situation. I work on a Team of three - my boss, my coworker, and myself. I am inviting my boss and her husband - we get along great and I really like her. Not a huge fan of my coworker, she drives me mildly crazy. I am also inviting other people in the office whom FH and I visit with outside of work on a regular basis - there has been a mutual investment of time in our friendships - not so for coworker in question. Do I have to invite someone I am not close with at all out of obligation??

You do it so as not to make your working relationship awkward, which can overflow into your professional prospects. I suppose that's a form of "obligation." You'll barely see her. Don't make her be the one person who works closely with you who was excluded.

banana468 · July 2018

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

Okay so here is the situation. I work on a Team of three - my boss, my coworker, and myself. I am inviting my boss and her husband - we get along great and I really like her. Not a huge fan of my coworker, she drives me mildly crazy. I am also inviting other people in the office whom FH and I visit with outside of work on a regular basis - there has been a mutual investment of time in our friendships - not so for coworker in question. Do I have to invite someone I am not close with at all out of obligation??

You were JUST answered below this.

When you make the choice to mix business with pleasure then you suck it up and invite that coworker. Essentially your choices are to not invite anyone in the office or to extend the invitation within the office within appropriate boundaries.

Example:
-Invite your boss and everyone in your department but no other departments.
-Invite just your boss.
-Invite the entire office.

But what you propose is hurtful and it doesn't make great business sense. That runs the risk of making your future business interactions with that coworker awkward. What if that one coworker is slighted but gets promoted ahead of you? What if your boss likes you but sees what you did and then she thinks that maybe your character is under question and may not really be what it takes to grow the team?

It's ONE person. It's cliquey and rude to exclude that one person. Don't do it.

CharmedPam · July 2018

I would invite her and let her decide to decline or not. Like @flantastic said, it wont be like you're hanging out with her the whole night if she decides to show?

ShesSoCold · July 2018

Why are you asking the same question twice?

No matter how you word it, you're going to get the same answers and you're going to look like an ass for not inviting this person.

levioosa · July 2018

My answer is the same. You need to invite her (with her SO if she has one). Asking this twice isn’t going to change our answers and it’s making you look petty. Come on.

climbingsingle · July 2018

You already posted this, yes? Invite her.

ei34 · July 2018

You already asked this and I already answered you, but again, invite her. You’d be shocked how little time you spend with each guest one on one at your reception. Excluding her could easily lead to awkwardness at work.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

How do I close this thread? I've never had issues before.

MRDCle · July 2018

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

How do I close this thread? I've never had issues before.

You can't close a thread, and you've already been quoted so deleting the content is pointless.

banana468 · July 2018

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

How do I close this thread? I've never had issues before.

You can't close a thread.

I do hope you plan to invite that coworker.

ShesSoCold · July 2018

You're so crafty, OP. "Here, I'mma start a new thread hoping they don't know it's the same OP from the next thread down". And now you've "Never had issues" closing a thread? Funny because we've never been able to do that.

Nice try, though.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

Lol sweetie the reason I want to close it is because I had issues with trying to post the first one, refreshed, saw it didn't post, so I posted again. You should learn to relax a little and practice kindness.

MRDCle · July 2018

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

Lol sweetie the reason I want to close it is because I had issues with trying to post the first one, refreshed, saw it didn't post, so I posted again. You should learn to relax a little and practice kindness.

Then why'd you "close" the first one too?

banana468 · July 2018

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

Lol sweetie the reason I want to close it is because I had issues with trying to post the first one, refreshed, saw it didn't post, so I posted again. You should learn to relax a little and practice kindness.

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

How do I close this thread? I've never had issues before.

I just responded on the other thread but this is another word of advice: Many people here are not new here. By that I mean a few things:
-Many of us are married. We've planned a wedding and seen what it takes to put a guest list together and also remember how much time we actually spent with those guests.
-Many of us are also employed and interacting with family members. So when we give advice from a business perspective, we also understand that over time we've come to see that the choices we make in our office about our wedding guest list can and will come back to have an effect in future business relationships if those choices are viewed as poor by coworkers.

-Finally, I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt but calling others "sweetie" and telling others to "practice kindness" is probably not going to get you any points. It comes off like a condescending mean girl. Maybe that isn't your overall intention here but that can be how the tone is interpreted.

So a word of advice: take the advice you received. Take a deep breath and know that plenty of strangers on the internet may have given blunt advice but it's all in the hope that you don't make mistakes with your family or your employment.

PrettyGirlLost · July 2018

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

Lol sweetie the reason I want to close it is because I had issues with trying to post the first one, refreshed, saw it didn't post, so I posted again. You should learn to relax a little and practice kindness.

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thisismynickname2 · July 2018

Bat signal, woo!

OP, if you don't like this coworker, maybe she doesn't like you and will just decline the invite. Or, she likes free food and will come anyway. Budget for her and an SO's attendance and if they don't come, it frees up money for more dessert options or whatever. No skin off your nose.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

Thank you!! I will invite the coworker. Thank you all.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

Thank you! I will invite the coworker, I will not post twice, I won't edit, thank you all, I have my answers, much appreciated!!!

holyguacamole79 · July 2018

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