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Wedding Woes
futuremrs20
member
Friends acting weird towards you after engagement
in Wedding Woes
Hi everyone. This is my first time here as I just got engaged on Friday. Still in the "it's all so new" mode but today was my first day back in classes (I am in medical school) and while most of my friends were giddy and happy for me, others were a bit weird towards me, not saying anything, rolling their eyes if others asked about the proposal, or flat out walking away if anything wedding related was brought up.
I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this and how they got over it/through it? It's a bit disheartening to be treated that way simply because it has been a tough few years (my father passed away suddenly, the grief associated with that, etc) and my closest friend said, "If anyone deserves this joy and happiness, it's you." Thank you!
I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this and how they got over it/through it? It's a bit disheartening to be treated that way simply because it has been a tough few years (my father passed away suddenly, the grief associated with that, etc) and my closest friend said, "If anyone deserves this joy and happiness, it's you." Thank you!
Re: Friends acting weird towards you after engagement
Congrats on your engagement!
Keep in mind that no one will be as excited about the engagement and wedding planning as yourself and your FI. But still. The eye rolling and walking away sounds downright rude.
Is it possible either you and/or your friends were talking ad nauseum about the proposal/wedding? I'm grasping at straws here, lol. It does seem like unusual behavior.
Unless someone says something more specific to you, I'd just chalk it up as one of those things and let it roll off my back. It doesn't make it okay, but some people are grumpy today after a long weekend. I know I am and I'm not even in college anymore, lol. Much less the kind of stressful, demanding curriculum of medical school.
Going forward, I would keep the wedding/engagement talk to a minimum. It's just a good general policy to start now because I'm sure you won't be inviting most of your classmates to your wedding. Though I don't blame you at all for mentioning the engagement. That is big news! It would have been weird to not say something.
I'm sorry some of your friends have been unenthusiastic for you.
Is there any possibility that you caught those particular persons at a bad moment for them with your announcement? Have they been going through tough times? That could explain their reactions, although eye-rolling and walking away does sound rude.
I think it fine to celebrate, and if people ask you of course you can talk about it! Sure not everyone is into weddings, but you don’t have to hide that you’re exited. Now if that’s all you were talking about (and it definitely does not sound like that’s what you were doing) I could see needing to tone it down, but I say there’s enough terribleness in the world, be happy for your engagement!
Not everyone is going to be excited, or not know what to say, or maybe they were in bad moods, or maybe theyre just rude. I wouldn’t waste anymore time worrying about them, and focus on being excited.
Relax and enjoy your engagement - stick around, the crew here is great about so many topics!
People can still be your friends and not like wedding talk.
Remember, most people's reaction may have very little to do with you. Some people take another person's 'milestones' as a yardstick to what they have going on in their lives and some people find the whole to-do about weddings and the wedding industry utterly ridiculous.
As an old married hag, I feel the latter has gotten crazier as the years have went on and it was insane when I got married. MrConn and I do talk about what we would do now vs. what we did then. The legal part of getting married is a blip compared to the rest of it all, which is a big party for all your friends and family. Just something to keep in mind as you get into the meat of planning.
You can't help how they feel and you don't have to apologize for what you've got going on. Just be aware of their reactions/feelings, and if you discuss your wedding...don't be surprised at their lack of interest. If you like them otherwise, then be sensitive to the fact that wedding talk isn't their jam.
And yes, no one will be as excited as you are about your wedding. If you're lucky, the people nearest and dearest to you will be excited and want to talk about your wedding, share ideas, etc. But at the end of the day, it's your (as a couple) wedding and it will be most cherished and celebrated by you two.