Wedding Etiquette Forum

Estranged aunt invite

Not really sure to post this maybe invitations, but it is hardly about that. I am torn about this situation with my aunt/god mother. My aunt who I love so much is an addict and has torn the family apart with her antics and broken my grandmothers heart. I don't want to get into it but I am not sure if I should invite her to the wedding. I would love to if she was CLEAN, but sadly that is not the case. My wedding is an open bar and I can't risk her causing a scene or doing something to endanger herself or somebody. It could be a mess and stir up so much family drama and fights, plus I don't want my beloved grandmother to be put in an uncomfortable position. I have a pretty large and tight nit family, but she hasn't been in it for years, she is not talking to anybody bc she thinks we are against her for wanting to get her sober. My cousin recently got married and he decided not to invite her due to the drama and pain she caused. I love her dearly, but I also don't even recognize her when she is like this. My invites are going out soon and I ask my mom what she thinks would be best for everyone, and she thinks I should wait and see till I send the invites out and if she is SOBER than send her one and call her. The worst part is my cousins are invited (her kids), they went to my other cousins wedding and had no problem with her not being present. Frankly they are sick of her antics too, so I think they would understand. I want to be hopeful, but it is so akward. I wish she can just be herself and not have to be drunk/high, but I can't risk that.

Re: Estranged aunt invite

  • Not really sure to post this maybe invitations, but it is hardly about that. I am torn about this situation with my aunt/god mother. My aunt who I love so much is an addict and has torn the family apart with her antics and broken my grandmothers heart. I don't want to get into it but I am not sure if I should invite her to the wedding. I would love to if she was CLEAN, but sadly that is not the case. My wedding is an open bar and I can't risk her causing a scene or doing something to endanger herself or somebody. It could be a mess and stir up so much family drama and fights, plus I don't want my beloved grandmother to be put in an uncomfortable position. I have a pretty large and tight nit family, but she hasn't been in it for years, she is not talking to anybody bc she thinks we are against her for wanting to get her sober. My cousin recently got married and he decided not to invite her due to the drama and pain she caused. I love her dearly, but I also don't even recognize her when she is like this. My invites are going out soon and I ask my mom what she thinks would be best for everyone, and she thinks I should wait and see till I send the invites out and if she is SOBER than send her one and call her. The worst part is my cousins are invited (her kids), they went to my other cousins wedding and had no problem with her not being present. Frankly they are sick of her antics too, so I think they would understand. I want to be hopeful, but it is so akward. I wish she can just be herself and not have to be drunk/high, but I can't risk that.
    Do you want to invite her? Why?

    This seems pretty clear cut to me. 
  • If this aunt "hasn't been in your family circle for years", and she hasn't talked to anyone, how would she even be aware of your impending wedding?

    This is ONE guest.  ONE.  You could literally wait until a week before your wedding.  If she is involved in a program and fighting her illness, invite her.  If the current scenario remains, then don't.  If you truly love her dearly, take a chance on her and pay for her plate regardless of invitation.
  • I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL



  • MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL



    I think you might have the wrong Knottie #.
  • edited March 2019
    MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don’t think I’d invite your aunt, just based off of “she hasn’t been in it (your family) for years” and “she isn’t talking to anybody”.  This is a sad situation though, especially for your grandmother and cousins. Sorry ya’s are going through this.

  • I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think if you really want her there and she’s getting help, wait until about a week before as has been suggested. But if she can’t or won’t stay clean, then it’s better not to invite her.
  • maine7mobmaine7mob member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2019
    My brother is an addict, who uses drugs and alcohol to self-medicate his untreated bipolar disorder. When he's stable, he is sober, but when he's in a mania phase, all bets are off. He has caused some pain to some family members, including stealing, and abandoned his own son when they were about to be evicted. So why would I consider inviting him to D's wedding last summer?

    I didn't want to (we were paying and I didn't want the stress), but D said, "I have no quarrel with Uncle ___. He has never hurt me, and I'd like to invite all of my family members." So we thought about it, talked to others, and in the end, we did invite him and the very nice woman he is currently living with.

    They came and he behaved himself. I think you have to decide if this is a possibility with your aunt. My brother doesn't get violent, just super loud and fast-talking and back-slapping and well, bro-like. Then he eventually drinks to the point of passing out. But if your aunt causes fights and really bad drama, I think I'd leave her off the list.

    ETA: we also had an open bar, but it was a brunch wedding, and people do tend to drink less at those.
  • Thank you ladies. I have decided to wait it out a little bit longer. My mother talked to her today and she said she has been sober for about a month, so we shall play it by year. I am hopeful though!
  • Thank you ladies. I have decided to wait it out a little bit longer. My mother talked to her today and she said she has been sober for about a month, so we shall play it by year. I am hopeful though!
    That’s great news!
  • MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
    @knottiea80c13881918e885 can you let me know more about how your account was hacked? We've been having some issues on this site but this is definitely new so I'd like to make sure this doesn't happen to other members. Was your password changed? Are you saying that some of your posts were the hacker? 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
    @knottiea80c13881918e885 can you let me know more about how your account was hacked? We've been having some issues on this site but this is definitely new so I'd like to make sure this doesn't happen to other members. Was your password changed? Are you saying that some of your posts were the hacker? 
    Sorry, just seeing this now. Yes, it was hacked along with a few other online accounts of mine. I do have a bad habit of rotating a few password for everything, so could be why. I had trouble getting back into this account for a few days, then just kind of forgot about it and reset it later on. I don't remember changing my password recently, but now it is.
  • MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
    @knottiea80c13881918e885 can you let me know more about how your account was hacked? We've been having some issues on this site but this is definitely new so I'd like to make sure this doesn't happen to other members. Was your password changed? Are you saying that some of your posts were the hacker? 
    Sorry, just seeing this now. Yes, it was hacked along with a few other online accounts of mine. I do have a bad habit of rotating a few password for everything, so could be why. I had trouble getting back into this account for a few days, then just kind of forgot about it and reset it later on. I don't remember changing my password recently, but now it is.
    And you honestly want us to believe that a stranger hacked into your Knot account for the sole purpose of creating posts to shit on your friends, call others names and generally flip out? 

    Image result for yeah okay gif 
    Yup, that is what happened. I can't come up with any reason as to why I would make this up. I don't know why or how people do what they do, especially why you are so concerned with this. Honestly, I didn't even read the posts so I don't know how bad they are. I apologize if you were so offended by the poster that you have to keep coming to my posts and questioning it. I would appreciate if you'd move on and find something better to do because I didn't come to this forum to be interrogated by a complete stranger. Thank you. 
  • MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
    @knottiea80c13881918e885 can you let me know more about how your account was hacked? We've been having some issues on this site but this is definitely new so I'd like to make sure this doesn't happen to other members. Was your password changed? Are you saying that some of your posts were the hacker? 
    Sorry, just seeing this now. Yes, it was hacked along with a few other online accounts of mine. I do have a bad habit of rotating a few password for everything, so could be why. I had trouble getting back into this account for a few days, then just kind of forgot about it and reset it later on. I don't remember changing my password recently, but now it is.
    And you honestly want us to believe that a stranger hacked into your Knot account for the sole purpose of creating posts to shit on your friends, call others names and generally flip out? 

    Image result for yeah okay gif 
    Yup, that is what happened. I can't come up with any reason as to why I would make this up. I don't know why or how people do what they do, especially why you are so concerned with this. Honestly, I didn't even read the posts so I don't know how bad they are. I apologize if you were so offended by the poster that you have to keep coming to my posts and questioning it. I would appreciate if you'd move on and find something better to do because I didn't come to this forum to be interrogated by a complete stranger. Thank you. 

    Image result for raises hand enthusiastically gif

    I can! Pick me!
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • So...your account was hacked by someone who then used your TK login to post about wedding related issues? 
  • MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
    @knottiea80c13881918e885 can you let me know more about how your account was hacked? We've been having some issues on this site but this is definitely new so I'd like to make sure this doesn't happen to other members. Was your password changed? Are you saying that some of your posts were the hacker? 
    Sorry, just seeing this now. Yes, it was hacked along with a few other online accounts of mine. I do have a bad habit of rotating a few password for everything, so could be why. I had trouble getting back into this account for a few days, then just kind of forgot about it and reset it later on. I don't remember changing my password recently, but now it is.
    And you honestly want us to believe that a stranger hacked into your Knot account for the sole purpose of creating posts to shit on your friends, call others names and generally flip out? 

    Image result for yeah okay gif 
    Yup, that is what happened. I can't come up with any reason as to why I would make this up. I don't know why or how people do what they do, especially why you are so concerned with this. Honestly, I didn't even read the posts so I don't know how bad they are. I apologize if you were so offended by the poster that you have to keep coming to my posts and questioning it. I would appreciate if you'd move on and find something better to do because I didn't come to this forum to be interrogated by a complete stranger. Thank you. 

    Image result for raises hand enthusiastically gif

    I can! Pick me!
    Do you people just sit around all day waiting to pick fights with people? It must get real tiring...sighh. I feel bad for you, you probably got married ten years ago...yet are still on a wedding forum handing out useless advice and bothering people? You must have a lot of hate in your life, I'll pray for you. 
  • MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
    @knottiea80c13881918e885 can you let me know more about how your account was hacked? We've been having some issues on this site but this is definitely new so I'd like to make sure this doesn't happen to other members. Was your password changed? Are you saying that some of your posts were the hacker? 
    Sorry, just seeing this now. Yes, it was hacked along with a few other online accounts of mine. I do have a bad habit of rotating a few password for everything, so could be why. I had trouble getting back into this account for a few days, then just kind of forgot about it and reset it later on. I don't remember changing my password recently, but now it is.
    And you honestly want us to believe that a stranger hacked into your Knot account for the sole purpose of creating posts to shit on your friends, call others names and generally flip out? 

    Image result for yeah okay gif 
    Yup, that is what happened. I can't come up with any reason as to why I would make this up. I don't know why or how people do what they do, especially why you are so concerned with this. Honestly, I didn't even read the posts so I don't know how bad they are. I apologize if you were so offended by the poster that you have to keep coming to my posts and questioning it. I would appreciate if you'd move on and find something better to do because I didn't come to this forum to be interrogated by a complete stranger. Thank you. 

    Image result for raises hand enthusiastically gif

    I can! Pick me!
    Do you people just sit around all day waiting to pick fights with people? It must get real tiring...sighh. I feel bad for you, you probably got married ten years ago...yet are still on a wedding forum handing out useless advice and bothering people? You must have a lot of hate in your life, I'll pray for you. 
    Nope, married just 4 years ago. Wouldn't you rather get advice from someone that's already planned a wedding? 

    No need to feel bad or pray for us. You're the one that came back here and lied about your account being hacked in a misguided effort to smooth things over. Why did you come back here for advice anyway if what we offered previously was so off base? 
  • MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
    @knottiea80c13881918e885 can you let me know more about how your account was hacked? We've been having some issues on this site but this is definitely new so I'd like to make sure this doesn't happen to other members. Was your password changed? Are you saying that some of your posts were the hacker? 
    Sorry, just seeing this now. Yes, it was hacked along with a few other online accounts of mine. I do have a bad habit of rotating a few password for everything, so could be why. I had trouble getting back into this account for a few days, then just kind of forgot about it and reset it later on. I don't remember changing my password recently, but now it is.
    And you honestly want us to believe that a stranger hacked into your Knot account for the sole purpose of creating posts to shit on your friends, call others names and generally flip out? 

    Image result for yeah okay gif 
    Yup, that is what happened. I can't come up with any reason as to why I would make this up. I don't know why or how people do what they do, especially why you are so concerned with this. Honestly, I didn't even read the posts so I don't know how bad they are. I apologize if you were so offended by the poster that you have to keep coming to my posts and questioning it. I would appreciate if you'd move on and find something better to do because I didn't come to this forum to be interrogated by a complete stranger. Thank you. 

    Image result for raises hand enthusiastically gif

    I can! Pick me!
    Do you people just sit around all day waiting to pick fights with people? It must get real tiring...sighh. I feel bad for you, you probably got married ten years ago...yet are still on a wedding forum handing out useless advice and bothering people? You must have a lot of hate in your life, I'll pray for you. 
    Nope, married just 4 years ago. Wouldn't you rather get advice from someone that's already planned a wedding? 

    No need to feel bad or pray for us. You're the one that came back here and lied about your account being hacked in a misguided effort to smooth things over. Why did you come back here for advice anyway if what we offered previously was so off base? 

    I actually like this website, and I didn't post those heinous discussions. People troll on here all the time and it is such a shock to everyone? Wake up, anything can go wrong on the internet, that is why I am not all surprised about it. If you really don't believe me I don't know what to tell you because this is just becoming so trivial and caddy for strangers to be this nasty to new people on a community forum. I'll just take my questions elsewhere. 
  • edited March 2019
    MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
    @knottiea80c13881918e885 can you let me know more about how your account was hacked? We've been having some issues on this site but this is definitely new so I'd like to make sure this doesn't happen to other members. Was your password changed? Are you saying that some of your posts were the hacker? 
    Sorry, just seeing this now. Yes, it was hacked along with a few other online accounts of mine. I do have a bad habit of rotating a few password for everything, so could be why. I had trouble getting back into this account for a few days, then just kind of forgot about it and reset it later on. I don't remember changing my password recently, but now it is.
    And you honestly want us to believe that a stranger hacked into your Knot account for the sole purpose of creating posts to shit on your friends, call others names and generally flip out? 

    Image result for yeah okay gif 
    Yup, that is what happened. I can't come up with any reason as to why I would make this up. I don't know why or how people do what they do, especially why you are so concerned with this. Honestly, I didn't even read the posts so I don't know how bad they are. I apologize if you were so offended by the poster that you have to keep coming to my posts and questioning it. I would appreciate if you'd move on and find something better to do because I didn't come to this forum to be interrogated by a complete stranger. Thank you. 

    Image result for raises hand enthusiastically gif

    I can! Pick me!
    Do you people just sit around all day waiting to pick fights with people? It must get real tiring...sighh. I feel bad for you, you probably got married ten years ago...yet are still on a wedding forum handing out useless advice and bothering people? You must have a lot of hate in your life, I'll pray for you. 
    And yet here you still are, asking for our useless advice. 

    Don't pray for me, pray for my husband. That poor guy has dealt with me and my apparent excessive hate for twelve years. 

    Edited for typo.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • Last question and I'll leave this forum for good. How do I delete my account, or is there no way.
  • MobKaz said:
    I am curious as to why you have chosen to return to the boards to ask for "irrelevant advice".  Is this a legitimate scenario, or were you hoping to just "get us all riled up" so we could gang up on you?

    My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/

    ***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!!  But......I did double check with my double vision LOL




    Woah is that really necessary?... For the record my account got hacked (I know it is the strangest thing). But yeah I wish I can delete those dumb posts but unfortunately can't for w.e reason. I don't know you so if your not going to take me seriously I am not to concerned with that. I guess I can just take my questions to wedding wire instead. 
    @knottiea80c13881918e885 can you let me know more about how your account was hacked? We've been having some issues on this site but this is definitely new so I'd like to make sure this doesn't happen to other members. Was your password changed? Are you saying that some of your posts were the hacker? 
    Sorry, just seeing this now. Yes, it was hacked along with a few other online accounts of mine. I do have a bad habit of rotating a few password for everything, so could be why. I had trouble getting back into this account for a few days, then just kind of forgot about it and reset it later on. I don't remember changing my password recently, but now it is.
    And you honestly want us to believe that a stranger hacked into your Knot account for the sole purpose of creating posts to shit on your friends, call others names and generally flip out? 

    Image result for yeah okay gif 
    Yup, that is what happened. I can't come up with any reason as to why I would make this up. I don't know why or how people do what they do, especially why you are so concerned with this. Honestly, I didn't even read the posts so I don't know how bad they are. I apologize if you were so offended by the poster that you have to keep coming to my posts and questioning it. I would appreciate if you'd move on and find something better to do because I didn't come to this forum to be interrogated by a complete stranger. Thank you. 

    Image result for raises hand enthusiastically gif

    I can! Pick me!
    Do you people just sit around all day waiting to pick fights with people? It must get real tiring...sighh. I feel bad for you, you probably got married ten years ago...yet are still on a wedding forum handing out useless advice and bothering people? You must have a lot of hate in your life, I'll pray for you. 
    And yet here you still are, asking for our useless advice. 

    Don't pay for me, pray for my husband. That poor guy has dealt with me and my apparent excessive hate for twelve years. 
    I didn't think it was useless until you started coming at me. Cmon, those posts that were on my account are so convoluted it sounds like a 16 year old wrote them, you really think that sounds like a real person asking for advice? I had to laugh at them not only because the jerk writing them was causing a ruckus but because everyone believed it was real! But since your an IT pro I guess nobody's account can get hacked.
  • Last question and I'll leave this forum for good. How do I delete my account, or is there no way.
    Try this, dear. 

    How to Delete an Account on the Knot - Deleting Your Entire Account

    • Log on to your account.
    • Save any information you don’t want to lose.
    • Go to the Account Management page.
    • Click the "Delete Account" button.
     FYI...….You are not the first person to claim you will leave the forums for good only to return with continued snarky comments.  This forum is not only for brides.  There are people from all walks of life, married, single, parents, grandparents, who join this forum for a variety of reasons.  Don't pity those who continue to post on this forum who have been married for (gasp) ten years.  Pray for me...….41 years this August!
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